About a month or so ago, my girlfriend went on a road-trip with some friends to St. Louis. After the trip, I learned that she had played a stripping game with them called padiddle— premise being that when you see a car with a headlight out, you hit the top of the car, say "padiddle," and everyone else has to take off an article of clothing. Two of the friends were girls, but one was a straight guy. This affair made me pretty anxious and angry. I did confront her about it, arguing that had I done the same, she would have felt bad as well. She apologized, and we made up. I do still worry that I overreacted about the whole thing.

The issue is, ever since the event, I've gotten increasingly paranoid about my girlfriend whenever she goes to a party or some other potentially sexually charged event with friends—I'm worried that she'll play some similar game or worse. I never bring this up; nothing good comes out of possessive behavior. But it has lessened my trust in the relationship, and until that point, I thought our relationship was rock solid. I don't know how I should feel on the matter. I feel like I should let it go. However, I don't know what steps I can take to come to terms with my feelings on the matter. Should I talk it out more or would that be rehashing something that isn't really a big deal? Also, did I overreact in the first place, and therefore, was my confrontation possessive?

Somebody Thinking Reducing Emotions Sometimes Seriously Enlarges Distress

No need to worry any longer about whether or not you overreacted, STRESSED, because I'm here to tell you that you did. Describing this event as an "affair"—and, yes, I know you meant "affair" in the "matter occasioning public anxiety, controversy, or scandal" sense of the word, not "romantic or passionate attachment" sense—gives you away.

That said... this isn't the sort of thing you wanna under-react to either, particularly if you're insecure and your insecurities, when sandpapered, makes life unpleasant for everyone around you.

I looked up "padiddle," and it's a real term people use for a car with a broken headlight. While the name sounds like it's related to sexy times (blame the "diddle"), it's not inherently sexual—and people are not legally required to start removing articles of clothing when they spot a car with a broken headlight. So someone in that car suggested a game of strip-padiddle, which appears to be a thing. (I also found a story about three girls and a guy who got into a car crash during a game of strip-padiddle. Enjoy.) And why would someone suggest games of strip poker, strip-parcheesi, or strip-padiddle? Because someone wants to see someone else in the room/car/blimp naked. And why do they want to see them naked? Because they wanna fuck 'em.

Someone in that car wanted to fuck your girlfriend, STRESSSED. Could've been one or both of the other girls, or it could've been the guy. It's also possible that someone in that car wanted to see someone else in that car naked—one of the other girls or the sole straight guy. It's possible your girlfriend wanted to see someone naked. But seeing as a twosome in a car is physically/logistically difficult, a foursome would've been impossible. So long as they were in the car.

Anyway!

Nothing good comes out of possessive behavior, like you said, but incidents (not affairs!) like this are a part of a relationship's growing pains. Your girlfriend took off some clothes during a stupid game and you felt jealous. Maybe the person who initiated the game hoped it would lead to a rolling girl-on-girl-on-girl-on-boy orgy. But it didn't. So from your girlfriend's POV, STRESSED, this was hijinks, it was goofing around, and what she thought was some harmless flirtatiousness—and, as your girlfriend later learned, it wasn't okay with her boyfriend and it could've harmed her relationship. She apologized. You forgave her.

Could this happen again? Sure it could. Will it? Hopefully not, STRESSED. And if this and things like it keep not happening again, your girlfriend will win your trust back and you'll stop feeling so stressed out every time she heads to a "potentially sexually charged event with friends." And if this or something like it does happen again—if your girlfriend enjoys flirtatious attention too much to resist and you can't deal—she may not be the right girlfriend for you. But it's possible to have a rock-solid relationship with someone who enjoys flirting with people other than her SO. If she can bask in that kind of attention without fucking anyone else and if she shows you she's still crazy attracted to you and if there's something in it for you too (if she gets revved up by this kind of attention and then comes home and plows all that sexual energy into you), confronting your insecurities instead of your girlfriend could have a big payoff for you.