In the honest-to-God/depressing-as-fuck real world this week, Canada announced they're gonna legalize weed (now Justin and I can be together), the Trump administration attacked the LGBT community on three fronts in just 24 hours, and Russia continued to drip, drip, drip. But in the faggot-gives-sex-advice/somewhat-less-depressing world, there was PrEP, camming, optimism, and ghosts. I said what I needed to say, now it's your turn.

In regards to a caller from a recent Savage Lovecast:

Hi, Dan. To the man with phimosis, pain during sex should not be a price of admission. If this tearing of his foreskin has been going on for a while, there can be buildup of scar tissue, which is not elastic and more prone to tearing, creating a nasty cycle. He should speak with a urologist. If the steroid cream doesn't help him, he may want to consider surgical treatment.

A response to another caller on that same show:

In response to the woman on anti-depressants who had no libido: my (female) partner had this problem a few years ago and she worked with an herbalist who prescribed Ginko and it worked very, very well for her—like night and day. Sometimes finding the right anti-depressant can be so hard and life changing that the idea of finding a new one just to avoid a side-effect is daunting and its definitely worth a consultation with an herbalist about Ginko or something similar. I'm a skeptic about alternative/new wave-y things like herbs, but there was no arguing about the effectiveness of it for my partner.

And in response to MOM:

Sex work isn't the commodification of a persons sexuality. It is the performance of sexual labour that attempts to satisfy parts of another persons/people's sexuality. It might sound like a quibble but those who haven't done it find it hard to understand the distinction.

If it were part of her sexuality to want to have webcam sex, MOM's daughter would likely already be doing that for the sheer pleasure of it. And sure for some the money thrill and sexual pleasure can cross over into the personal realm but it is all still mediated by the fact that you are, at the end of the day, working for someone else and performing a job—not the hottest for most people.

Another reader responds to MOM and makes an interesting point about the economics of sex work:

I know this isn't practical, but my general feeling on sex work is that there should probably be a lot less sex workers out there. More specifically, I feel like the only people that should do it are the people that know they are prepared for a long (perhaps lifelong?) career in the sex industry.

The cruel irony of the sex work stigma, is that the stigma is also the reason it (potentially) can be a lucrative career without any real need for education or formal training. Take away that stigma, and the biggest barrier to entry disappears (along with the decent wages that can be earned by sex workers).

Anyway, the stigma sucks, but shit lasts forever on the internet; and if there's any chance your future career will be adversely impacted by sex work (which is a pretty significant chance given how conservative most businesses are), most people should avoid it. And as Dan alluded to, cam work is not nearly as lucrative as many think. Many bartenders/waitresses make just as much (or more), without risking the future repercussions. Why take the risk, when the reward may be so minuscule?

Regarding sex during pregnancy, which came up on a recent Savage Lovecast:

Hey @fakedansavage, re: sex during pregnancy question in ep. 544, it's a common question, and reassurance from her OB may help.
— Hilary Gerber (@momstinfoilhat) March 29, 2017

And, finally, some thoughts on straight girls wanking to girl-on-girl porn:

A throwaway comment you made in an advice response once included some reference to supposedly straight women who masturbate exclusively to girl-on-girl porn who may be ignoring lesbian tendencies. It struck a chord—I am a fairly straight woman though not very vanilla (I like BDSM, am in an open relationship with a man, only masturbate to girl on girl porn. Never kissed a woman, it's never come up.) Am I missing some big queer identity that I haven't explored yet? Is that what my wank bank indicates? Are there masturbatory indicators, seriously?

Try kissing/banging/fooling around with a lady if you think you're missing some "big queer identity" you haven't explored yet. But you don't have to be queer to masturbate to queer porn, so you can keep doin' what you're doin' without having to have a crisis over your (pretty fully realized/fleshed out) sexual identity.