Was Jonah trying to get his wife off when the whale ate him?

I just went back and read through all the old comments. Those were the days: seandr, Alison Cummins, LateBloomer, Vennominon, Mr. J., Gift Horse, and others were regulars and still commenting. And LavaGirl and Hunter were flirting.

Erotic hypnosis can help with this. It allows your partner to participate with the fantasies in your head by guiding them. It's not all that different from "guided meditation". It takes a little practice, but it can be worth it.

I recommend the book "Mind Play" by Mark Wiseman.

@2 I'm still lhere, nocutename, albeit infrequently.

And I now (usually) silently pronounce your screename correctly: no cute name!

Rather than noh-queue-tuh-na-MAY, which for some reason I always used see, till you politely corrected me one day. :)

I was so young and stupid then nocute.

Lava @ 5 - The good old days of 2015, when we were still young and stupid.

@5: Weren't we all!

@2 I mainly lurk, but I echo missing seandr, as well as Alison Cummins and Vennominon.

@delta35

You turned no_cute_name into a Japanese-sounding word. Bravo!

I also miss lolorhone and ophelian? (the one whose screen pic wore a pink cowboy hat.) I think Dan gave pretty good advice to the letter writer. She is young, in her first sexual relationship, and should take time to figure out if she needs to incorporate her kink in partnered sex in some way, and if so, exactly how to work that in. All of which takes time and experimentation. She will likely try some stuff that doesn't work, so I hope she just sees it as a learning curve and doesn't get discouraged. And yes, drop the shame. I know it is completely subjective, but I can't see how this is any more strange than the "so common it's a trope in cheap romance novels" ravishment fantasy.

>" into a Japanese-sounding word"

Or a Pokemon character.

I love being a Pokemon character! Thank you, delta35!

Man I am glad that dan is around to give advice for stuff like this. I'd have no idea.

It's possible that while she really likes her boyfriend they don't have a sexual connection. She may need to seek out someone else who she gets more of a charge from. He can be open and GGG and all of that but if she doesn't have some bodily response to him then that won't be a good sexual experience for either of them. It's possible that they could just be friends and that's where the awkwardness and not getting turned on are coming from.

Is there a problem to solve here? Most people with strong fetishes seem to "grow into them" or at least grow into accepting that they have them. LW is at an age where even a vanilla sexual relationship can be heady waters. I'd put money on the fact that her fetish is not a big detriment to her love/sex life a decade from now.

@15 Sportlandia LW was concerned about a few potential problems. She had shame related to this particular fantasy, she was concerned she might only be able to orgasm when focusing on this fantasy in the future, and she had some questions about it staying in her head vs. being acted out through some type of roleplay. I thought Dan's advice here was great.

I've also had this fantasy since childhood and also relied on it heavily in my youth, though I never had concerns about it becoming a fetish. Still, I had no idea it was something other people fantasized about. I discovered that through one of Dan's columns, either this one or an earlier one. Prior to that, I had mentioned it to a couple very experienced and sex positive people who thought it was bizarre and repulsive and I just assumed it was a weird *me* thing, so it was a strange relief to discover I was not alone after thinking it was a weird and gross *me* thing for decades. I hope it gave the same sense of relief to LW.

I also think some young people aren't aware that it's okay to have private thoughts, even during sex with a partner, that do not necessarily need to be shared. I've seen young people comment about feeling shame for thinking of other people or kinks or whatever during sex. While I think it would be a bummer to be entirely mentally checked out during sex with a partner, I think it's normal for minds to drift to a variety of areas now and then and some younger people just don't know that's okay.

I’m (very) occasionally still here, nocutename. I just don’t have the bandwidth to participate in more than one forum at a time and right now that forum is FetLife.

My beloved accidentally discovered a kink last year, I have discovered that liking to hurt people can be prosocial, we go to dungeon parties most weekends, and I am developing my domme persona and networking with other local dommes.

Having a blast. Sex after 50 is the best.

@17. sigh. my sex after 50 is nonexistent.

Does she imagine ingesting her lover or being the ingested? There might be a significant difference. I think she can ask her boyfriend to don a dragon mask.

@19
Never mind a dragon mask, there is at least one company that makes a vore sex toy. It's basically a very large maw and length of throat that your partner can manipulate to 'eat' you.

@17: Alison Cummins, I'm so glad things are going so well for you. What a very good reason to not bother participating in this forum very often any more.
Keep having a blast!

@20. Very helpful! She should buy it if she hasn't already.

Depending on her fantasies and whether or not she wants to play them, there are sleeping bags shaped like sharks, dragons, orca, alligators, etc. Some even come (ha) in adult sizes.
http://www.chumbuddy.com/chumbuddy/