This week, spring sprung, Flynn begged for immunity, Ivanka Trump's neighbor gave us the patriotic pettiness we didn't know we needed, and this just happened. (It actually happened a long time ago, argues Josh Marshall.) On top of global shenanigans, a bunch of you asked me to fix your problems: a wife wasn't into her baby-faced hubby, a woman wondered what makes a blowjob a blowjob, and I re-upped an old idea for an app.

A bunch of you also sent me your thoughts on my thoughts. In response to a call on the Savage Lovecast this week:

I just heard your podcast and you mentioned fetuses swimming in sperm for the second time. Between a fetus and incoming sperm there is the cervix which is about 4 cm long and plugged shut during pregnancy. Behind that there is the membrane of the amniotic sac. No sperm will ever reach the baby in normal circumstances, even during rough sex. Please correct this so horny pregnant woman and their male partners can have sex without worrying or being grossed out. Maybe you knew all this and find it logical, but since you have a large American audience with incorrect sex ed who take you very seriously (which they usually should) it would be good to correct this.

I know that fetuses and semen don't actually mix. Sometimes you have to—what's that expression again? Oh, right: take me seriously, not literally. And:

I'm a big fan of the Savage Love column at the AVClub, and the recaps of the Savage Lovecast that the commenters provide. Apparently there was a caller who pees every time she goes down on her new guy, and I might have some information that helps. There is technique called Breath-Holding, which is holding your breath to increase relaxation of the urethral and anal sphincters to help with going to the bathroom. I've noticed that I experience something similar when I'm trying to hold my breath swimming, and it feels like I might urinate if I keep holding it. So maybe this girl isn't realizing that she's holding her breath while going down on the guy? And could use some advice about breathing techniques while giving oral sex?

More on the podcast:

On this week's podcast you used the expression "broken families." My kids may someday listen to this show. Our family isn't broken, in fact my kids are lucky enough to have two families (my ex is remarried, I'm not).

I'll try to avoid that phrase in the future. Seriously. And on Episode 545:

Okay, to be clear, I'm asking, not trying to be an asshole about it, but here's the thing. On the last Savage Love podcast (545), you said that a guy who's really nervous about getting his girlfriend pregnant despite the low odds of that happening—condoms + rhythm—shouldn't be pressured to do anything he doesn't want to, which I basically agree with, even though I think the guy's probably more nervous about her assertion of no hormones/no abortions (which she has every right to say, just to be clear).

But here's the thing. I've also heard you on multiple occasions berate gay dudes who are uncomfortable dating HIV positive guys even if they have super low viral loads. You've essentially approved of them being chewed out by other gay guys. You've all but called them idiots.

In both cases, people are making choices about what they're willing to risk in exchange for sex—although obviously I'm not equating HIV and pregnancy, they're similar only in two regards: sexually "transmitted" and life-changing—and sometimes their comfort level is a lot lower than mine or yours might be. So what's the difference? How does one deserve scorn and the other sympathy?

When condoms and/or the rhythm method fails during opposite-sex fucking (and both those methods have higher failure rates than other forms of birth control), the woman gets pregnant and the guy does too—both their lives are changed forever if the woman is unwilling to get an abortion should their birth control methods fail. If a woman tells a guy she won't have an abortion in the case of an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy, I don't think it's unreasonable for the guy to decline PIV and suggest other options, as was the case in the call you cite.

I get on the backs of HIV-negative guys who won't fuck HIV-positive guys who know they're positive, are on their meds, and have undetectable viral loads but will fuck guys who think they're HIV-negative (and might not be) because that is unreasonable. Guys with undetectable viral loads are essentially un-infectious; if the negative guy is on PrEP, his very nearly non-existent odds of getting infected by an HIV-positive-but-undetectable guy are, for all practical purposes, completely non-existent. Guys who won't have sex with poz-but-uninfectious guys to protect himself from infection but will have sex with neg-but-possibly-poz-and-highly-infectious guys are rushing toward the risk they think seem to think avoiding. That's pretty idiotic.

In response to Don't Reveal My Name:

I wonder if "Don’t Reveal My Name" was actually asking for methods of female masturbation. Like rubbing, inserting things, and using the shower spray for stimulation. When I was a young teen, I knew what got me off, but then I never had any guilt about it either. My sister on the other hand, was completely clueless - she never masturbated until college! You gave great advice, but I hope the advice-seeker finds some more tips online without falling into the porn chasm.

And in regards to Seeks Discreet Call Service:

Please pass this along in response to today's post. Kitestring is a pretty helpful app for both stranger dates and getting home safe solo.

And:

Dan, I liked your idea about the wake up call. Here are a few other ideas:

1. Before meeting your Tinder hook up in person, send yourself an email with all the info you have on them. This will at least give detectives a starting point if you go missing.

2. Talk to your hookup online for a while before you're in their town. Get a better sense of who they are.

3. Decide who among your friends is the least judgmental. Confide in them, and let them help you play safely.

Yours in slutitude.

And, finally, thoughts on judgmental housecleaners:

I've worked as a house cleaner for a company for 7 years and I'm pretty sure I've seen all lifestyles. We may not dig through your stuff (or at least a good and trustworthy house cleaner won't!) but we see the vibrator when vacuuming under the bed, the condom wrappers in the bedroom trash, the toe nail clippings in the kitchen. We don't care. A person cannot be very judgy and work in this gig.

If you are concerned about making your cleaner feel complicit in your appeared and assumed cheating take Dan's advice. If you ever have a long term partner that will be spending a good amount of time at the home when the cleaner is there it might be nice to introduce them while all 3 of you are eating breakfast together. But in the end, your cleaner, if a good cleaner, won't really care what you are doing in your personal life.

What does your cleaner care about? Being treated like a human being doing a worthy, valued, and appreciated service. Spoken to with respect and equanimity. Tips. Yes tips. Cleaning is tough work. You know because you hire someone else to do it for you. Imagine cleaning 7 hours a day, 4-5 days a week? We appreciate that little extra to help pay the bills. If you tip and treat them with kindness they won't care if you are in a twosome, foursome, millionsome. They will love to care for you, your family, and your home.