I'm a 26-years-old Italian girl and I've always refused to watch porn because even as a teenager I felt it was primarily geared towards men and mostly unfair to women. I didn't even know what feminism was back then, but I found porn mildly disturbing and couldn't get off watching a woman being fucked in every orifice by oversized men with oversized dicks. Now that I've matured into a full-blown feminist I understood porn doesn't have to be bad if everyone involved has given their consent and is ok with doing what they're doing. I still have a feeling, though, that the porn industry is dangerous for women and a lot of the content that can be found online isn't really consensual and ethical.

I've recently moved to Sweden and started dating a Swedish guy. The sex is great and we have very open and anxiety-free conversations about our sexual preferences and stuff we might like to experiment with together. We were talking about porn, and I told him I would like to try watching some. However, I know I won't enjoy it unless I'm 110% sure that nobody was harmed or pressured into things they didn't really want to do. He agrees with me that it's a fucked-up industry unless one only watches celebrity pornstars, so I decided to turn to you for advice: where do we find feminist porn? And since I'm at it, and I'm a complete beginner, how do I find ethical straight porn which is meant for women? I mean something with a bit of a storyline and some erotic depth, not just sexy housewives, plumbers and PIV.

I know I could've googled this myself, but I really wouldn't know where to look and I don't want to end up seeing stuff that would deliver the death blow to the aforementioned already wavering faith in humanity. I figured you're kind of an expert and could point me in the right direction from the start.

I hope you will find the time to reply, although you probably receive hundreds of emails every day, and I'm looking forward to watching some good-quality, respectful porn with my man :)

Previously Orrified, Recently Not Overcritical

There are so many reasons to have a wavering faith in humanity—reasons like this, this, this, this, and this—but porn (and those porn-aided/-enhanced orgasms) shouldn't be among them. The pleasures of porn can and should be respite from all the terrible/terrifying shit flooding your newsfeed. But I agree: the Internet can be a spooky place and there's definitely some porn out there—not going to assign a percentage here—that isn't created with much concern for the performers, and a trip down the wrong clickhole can scar a person for life.

That said, PORNO, there's plenty of sex-positive, alternative, and feminist porn out there, porn you can enjoy zero guilt, porn created ethically and sustainably. Carlyle Jansen, the producer of the Toronto International Porn Festival (formerly the Feminist Porn Awards), agrees with me about ethical porn (it's out there) and had some suggestions for you (content you might enjoy):

"Erika Lust is popular, more so among straight folks. She has storylines and erotic depth without the long up-close-genital shots and with more interesting cinematography. Alternatively, you can find many smaller independent productions by folks such as Ovidie, Ms. Naughty, the Madame, Jennifer Lyon Bell, Petra Joy, Lucie Blush, Shine Louise Houston, and the feministpornawards.com website. You can view awarded feminist films and categories such as kink, queer, straight, romantic, etc depending on interest."

Follow people like Erika Lust on Twitter, pay attention to who they follow and interact with, read the stories they link to, watch the porn they signal boost, and you'll keep discovering more and more good, ethical, guilt-free porn.

And it's important to note that if we wanna see more feminist porn in the world and on the web, we have to support that kind of porn—and by "support," of course, I mean "consume," PORNO, and the only kind of consumption that matters here is the kind that creates a viable market, i.e. paid consumption. Paying for porn downloads and helps finance projects and create careers for filmmakers and performers we like (and get off to). If you gets all your porn from Tumblr and/or the various tubes, you forfeit your right to complain about the porn that's out there. Buy the kind of porn you like and more of the porn you like will be made.

Finally, PORNO, wanna see some great, truly indy, ethically-created porn? Get to a screening of HUMP!, which is currently touring North America. (Check here for tour dates and tickets.) And if you're inspired to make some great, indy, ethical porn—be the change you wanna see in your porn!—the HUMP! 2017 call for submissions is here!