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Going in Style is a Zach Braff-directed remake of a 1979 Martin Brest movie about three old men robbing a bank. Braff is the spectacularly untalented writer/director of Garden State, which was indirectly responsible for the Shins, who were indirectly responsible for Portlandia. Therefore, Braff is wholly accountable for the fact that it now takes 40 goddamn minutes to cross the Hawthorne Bridge.

In his version of Going in Style, the three old men are played by Morgan Freeman, Alan Arkin, and Michael Caine, all of whom have redefined the word “slumming” by venturing anywhere near this thing. (The less said about Ann-Margret’s performance, the better. I hope she’s okay.) Caine, specifically, is one of the finest and most charming actors in film history, and is also one of the most prolific—he’s appeared in The Last Witch Hunter, Jaws: The Revenge, Now You See Me 2, Bewitched, Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, Blame It on Rio, Gnomeo & Juliet, Cars 2, and Austin Powers in Goldmember. In other words, he’s been in some real shit. Going in Style is far and away the worst thing he’s been involved with. He will be dead soon.