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Updates this week: Should a gay couple stay in the closet? What's a trolydyte and why should we care? When do you bring up someone's micropenis? And is it responsible to jerk off to cam girls? As always, I gave my two cents, and so did many of you.

In response to the opening of this week's Savage Lovecast:

Russian here. Just wanted to say, you are absolutely right about the reasons for the backlash. The government is cultivating an image of the West as a morally corrupt, "rotting," emasculated place full of "perverts" looking to recruit your children. Here's the icing on the cake: guess where the children and grandchildren of most of the politicians responsible for this rhetoric live? Right, mostly in Europe.

In response to INSOMNIA:

Long time reader, first time writing in. Dan, why would your only solution to INSOMNIA’s problem be that his bride busy herself with chores in her early morning waking hours—her “horny time”, to make time for him during his “peak time” and not suggest that he adjust his schedule and get his ass to bed a little earlier to accommodate her? I know that faced with the same dilemma, I’d go out of my way to come to a mutually satisfying arrangement for the greater good—including inconveniencing myself.

I didn't urge INSOMNIA to adjust his schedule to match his bride because her "horny time" was between 3 and 5 AM. It is highly unreasonable to expect someone to wake up in the middle of the night to fuck your ass three nights a week. Some readers felt there was something sexist about my advice. I can assure you, dear readers, that if the gendershoes were on the other genderfeet my advice would remain the same: the partner making the unreasonable demand (or the partner with the unreasonable peak) is the one who should adjust.

I am writing to you today because I am quite concerned about your recent answer to the question signed "Insomnia Now Suspected Of Making Nights Incredibly Awkward." When I read your answer, I assumed that you were being sarcastic and personally did not find it funny. My workmate, however, did not understand/read this as sarcasm and she became very concerned and I am as well, that the husband in question will use this answer as justification to pressure his wife to change her schedule to fuck him when he wants her to. I think that this could enable a person who could already be being shitty to someone to be even shittier.

I wasn't being sarcastic. I would hope that INSOMNIA could discuss this with his wife without resorting to shitty behavior, of course, or to pressuring her. I would hope that all of my readers are capable of stating their limits and preferences and negotiating compromises, where possible, without resorting to shitty or coercive behaviors. That said, I stand by my advice to INSOMNIA. And here's a thought experiment for you, Quite Concerned: What advice would give a woman whose husband was waking her up three times a week at 3 AM for sex? Would you tell her to put out at 3 AM, her sleep patterns and ability to function in the mornings be damned, or would you tell her to let her husband know he would have to adjust his expectations and "change his schedule"? The latter, I suspect.

A warning from one long-time reader/listener to other readers/listeners:

I've been a reader for several years (you're popular in London too!) and really admire the consistency and open mindedness of your advice. But although I read your advice on many topics I didn't take it in properly. So I was a CPOS and had an affair for a few months. My wife found out. The long story isn't the point here. She eventually forgave me and we worked with counsellors, etc., and moved back in together. We had a baby (he's an awesome wee boy). And then I did it again. My wife had told me that if I ever had another affair that was it. Well, she (my beautiful wife) was true to her word and I probably just thought it would blow over. It didn't and we are now divorced and had I actually acted out honestly the advice I've read in your column over the years we would not have been here. So maybe—if you edit this to a nice short warning—let your CPOS readers know that they need to read and learn and be honest and open. Thinking you're clever and can get away with it doesn't really work.

In regards to the Savage Lovecast:

A comment about the show last week. The caller whose in-laws chose their cats over their grandchildren and Dan's advice was spot on except for his insisting that anyone who isn't interested in their own grandchildren must be mentally ill. This couple may indeed be mentally ill, I have no idea.

However, there is a growing segment of the population who is child -free and love it. And even those people who have children aren't necessarily connected to those children or even interested in them. That indifference doesn't equal mental Illness. Breeding isn't magic and breeders aren't special.

Who I find to be mentally ill in these situations are people, blood relations or otherwise, who insist that just because they've reproduced, that everyone is obligated to love, be interested in and spend time with their offspring. Breeding is a massively egomaniacal act and expecting the world, even family, to admire and invest in your product, is breathtaking in its conceit.

And, finally, another note on cats:

Last June I left a message for Dan about my friend's cat Neko, who was humping everything in sight. Dan called in a vet who suggested the cat may have an undescended testicle, and needs a stuffed animal to hump. Well Neko hasn't seen a vet to explore the possible undescended testicle issue, but I gifted him this giant stuffed tiger, and he is completely entirely in love with it. Humps it all day, all night, drags it around the house, but most importantly, lets the humans sleep while he humps the tiger. This is a post-hump tail snuggle. Just wanted to send an update. Thanks, Dan!

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HUMP! 2017 Call for Submissions!

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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