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The idea of being seen naked/having sex by people who did NOT consent to seeing me is literally the opposite of arousing—it makes me feel a little sick, and not in a good way. So I don't consider what I'm into "exhibitionism." But the idea of being seen by people who want to see me is pretty exciting. I'm not looking for places where people can see me naked/masturbating/fucking who've consented to it; that seems easy enough to find once I'm ready. But is there a name for what I'm into? Googling is getting me nowhere.

Never Understood Damn Exhibitionism

When someone hears the word "exhibitionist," NUDE, the mental image that leaps instantly to mind is similar to yours: a random dude waggling his dick at people who haven't given their consent. You know, dudes like this dude. And this dude. And this dude and this dude and this dude and even the occasional dame—each one working hard to give exhibitionism a bad name.

But while the dirty, dick-waggling/twat-twiddling pervert may be the standard mental image, exhibitionism—like so much else—exists on a spectrum, NUDE, one that runs from unethical and non-consensual to ethical and consensual.

Exhibitionism is about exposure, and there are plenty of ways and plenty of places where you can expose yourself to people who want to see you naked/masturbating/fucking—or expose your partner. (Exposing your partner, not yourself, is called candaulism.) Most exhibitionists are interested in exposing themselves, of course, and—I'm sorry to say—even if you're mooning, streaking, flashing, public sexing, etc., in front of someone who wants to see your ass, your everything, your sex, etc., there's no other word for what you're into than "exhibitionism," you exhibitionist.

Yes, the word is tainted, thanks to all those jerks clumped together at the unethical and non-consensual end of the exhibitionism spectrum, NUDE. But our sample is hopelessly skewed: we hear about unethical and non-consensual exhibitionists because they're the ones getting arrested and, consequently, making the news. The only way for good and decent exhibitionists to reclaim the terms "exhibitionism" and "exhibitionist" from the creeps—and to replace those negative/mug-shotty mental images with positive/sexy ones—is for good and decent exhibitionist to be open about their good and decent kink.

And now please enjoy a 43-year-old pop culture reference...


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