Just a side note to the LW: you didn't say how old you are but here are a couple of things to consider:

(1) many, if not most, women who have just run of the mill large breasts (e.g., 38D) eventually experience chronic shoulder and/or back pain as a result. Many women experience permanent bra strap depressions on their shoulders from their having to bear the weight of large breasts. Even a perfectly fitted bra (and we know that most women don't wear well fitted bras) cannot entirely prevent this from happening. Many women with large breasts may also suffer from shortness of breath, irritation and even infection under their breasts, and other health problems. That those who have unusually large ("mega") breasts (macromastia) can have these problems is an understatement.

(2) as we age and possibly nurse our babies, the breasts can lose their "buoyancy," if you will. The larger the breasts, the more gravitational pull there is on the minimal muscles available to keep those babies up there. Hence, breasts on the young always seem so perky compared to those who have aged and not had plastic surgery.

Loving oneself is important to being a self actualized person. I applaud your embrace of your own "mega" breasts. However, loving oneself can include balancing the love of how we look vs our health. What would happen if you chose to formalize a long term relationship with a mega-boob fetishist if, for personal reasons (e.g., your health) you decided to have a breast reduction with or without reconstruction? Maybe a breast reduction isn't in your future but it might be a good idea to try to avoid potential mates who fetishize a part of you that might not be there in a few years.

I am not telling or even suggesting that you have breast reduction surgery but please don't rule out discussing it with your health practitioner if your quality of life and health are adversely affected by having macromastia.

**At this time, breast reduction surgery is covered by most health insurance plans if it meets the terms of medical necessity. However, with the ACA on the brink and death many of the male GOP members of Congress not wanting to pay for things that they see as "female issues," now, rather than later, might be the time to consider surgery.

I written this before, I kind of ashamed by my like or desire for large breasts, I know it is wrong, I know I am objectifying a women, but I still do this, I don't know why.. However, it doesn't last that long, as I get to know someone..

The Large Breast attraction pretty much last about 15 minutes, when the real attraction is getting to know the person. beauty and attraction comes in many shapes and forms. I have heard from a couple women that I dated who had large breasts, and complain about sleeping, finding the right clothes, sick of wearing two jog bras, back pain, etc. etc. My reaction is still the same, "have you ever think of a breast reduction ?(reduction mammaplasty) I just see them unhappy..

For the LW, I probably say just ignore the guys with the breast fetish, just find dates that you have common interests. These dates may like large breasts, but it is more of a secondary issue, as what they really like is getting to know you and vice versa.

You are going to find dates and unsolicited attention, but just look for a guy who listens to you, can actually care what you are saying, you have common interests that you can actually interact on, and everything else should fall into place. I feel the problem for you (LW) is you got to separate lots of chaff from the few kernels of wheat.

*with the ACA on the brink ^of^ death (not "brink and death")

I have personally had a breast reduction. Big breast are beautiful, but I can attest that they do wreak havoc on your body. If you've ever considered it, do it. Insurance will pay. Don't do it for your aesthetic- you are lovely the way you are, but this could be a legit health issue. And if you get them reduced down to a nice comfortable D, you not only take care of the strain on your back- and other discomforts, but you can still be a big-breasted woman.

Wish you were in AK. I love big boobs and the women who go with them.

I got not wanting to have surgery, but damn one's QoL must be significantly better without lugging all that unsupported weight around, without everyone and their dog looking at you twice on the street, not being able to find tops that fit, and having extra level-of-difficulty in dating, I'm sure they interfere with some basic exercises, sleep, all that stuff. There's some politics to it of course, but I'm on the opinion that sometimes you "get" to prioritize yourself and your own life over most other things in the planet. We're all gonna die, I'd rather not have a sore back in the meantime.

Yes, I checked out BIG's link, but in my defence: I thought "Milena Velba" was a medical condition. Honest.

Best thing to do - take things at YOUR pace for when things get sexual. If you get the feeling after a few dates the guy is getting antsy or frustrated that he doesn't get to feel your breasts then kick him to the curb. I don't think most guys can feign interest in you as a person rather than just your breasts for dates spread out over a 2-3 weeks before getting physical.

BIG, I think you should try creating an online dating profile in which you are upfront about what kind of partner you are seeking. Many women have alternative profiles that highlight a particular sexual interest. You can use a photo that omits your face, and express in detail to prospective partners what you wrote to Dan: you were married to a partner who didn't specifically love your breasts and now you want a life partner who will love you and love showering attention on your breasts. Use that profile to weed out the men who really aren't interested in what you have to offer. If their profile suggest that they have the other criteria you are seeking, then direct them to a vanilla profile where you share more about yourself.

Sadly, I don't think I've ever met a guy who dreams of suffocating on a 42DD that also wants her to be intellectually stimulating. Maybe it's that testosterone thing, or maybe that kind of limited overview is what he was exposed to by male role models. And personally speaking, I find guys who think of little else ("tits, tits, tits, tits") rather dull and offensive. But I don't want to say there isn't anyone out there who won't meet your criteria. He's just going to be a rare bird.

Secondly, honey, your back must be killing you!

@10, "He's just going to be a rare bird."

Yeah. Guys who are into any particular extreme end of the spectrum of human body types are rare. And people who match with your intellect, personality, quirks, and life goals are rare, too. Which makes the overlap of that Venn diagram pretty skinny.

But there's this Internet thing now. Everyone else (except the kinksters) is using it to meet a "nice normal guy". If the LW seeks out those corners of the Internet where the big-boob fetishists are, lurks for a while*, and then approaches some the reasonable ones, then some of the sorting would already be done.

*"On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog." I hiked with a game warden who was in fabulous shape - almost male pin-up material. He made most of his undercover busts by posing online as an attractive young woman who admired trophy hunters.

@11
Is that a play on the word 'busts'? I don't get it...

Am I the only one in the comments who loves big boobs and the women they're attached to? It never occurred to me that a woman might appreciate being objectified for her boobs. Or, at least, I would expect she'd be a lot more rare than a man willing to do the objectifying. Most well-endowed ladies get way too much attention from random creepers, so in my experience they don't want their romantic partners obsessing about their parts.

To answer your question, I would LIVE on Mount Everest if I could. But, y'know, a relationship needs to be built on more than just huge knockers. If she can't hold a conversation, if she's totally self-centered, if she's a Trump supporter, whatever, then the relationship's not going to last past a few hookups.

I clicked on the link! My back hurts just looking at those pics. LW, what will happen if you get pregnant? When you're older? That much weight in front will surely put great pressure on your spine, and leads to falls and injuries. Maybe forget about the lame-ass fetishists for now and think about your long term health and comfort first.

There are lots of men in the world, and they're not absolutely crucial to your happiness, but your health is.

Oh my god, STAHP. Stop asking this poor letter writer if she's considered a breast reduction. There is absolutely zero chance that this hasn't been brought up to her unsolicited in her life. She came for some goddamn sex and relationship advice, with a pretty clear message that her plan is to live happily ever after with her 38Ts. You're not enlightening her to anything. It's just weird.

As the owner of some h or I girls, I can't even imagine how hard it must be to find clothes! So anyway, just my 2 cents... Rather than just trying to read up on men with a specific fetish, you may try to read up on dating and relationships with men with any fetish--the mechanics might be different, but a lot of the psychology is probably similar. As someone who has been in one, I can tell you it can be... difficult?

I would echo what others have said--we don't know your age, but big boobs don't always last forever. Your life, your choice, but there's a lot of ground between someone who is boob-neutral, and someone who has a true fetish. I get what you mean, though-- when you got em, it is a nice plus to be with a guy who genuinely appreciates them!

This has got to be fake. 38T breasts do not occur in nature, and certainly not on women whose bodies are otherwise in the average range. If she's anywhere near that, she must have terrible back problems that would concern her far more than the run-of-the-mill "why can't I find a good guy who treats me well" that every straight and bi woman deals with. And if this truly is her problem, the solution is simple: make sure her breasts feature in every online-dating profile pic she posts. She'll only be contacted by the dudes who like them.

As a woman with large (although not that large) boobs, I am appalled by the suggestions that she have reduction surgery. That's not what she asked and there is no indication that she finds them to be a problem.
Also I have to object to the idea that boobs are a fetish. A fetish is defined as a sexual interest in something that is not essentially sexual. Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic therefore cannot be a fetish. You can't have a penis fetish or an ass fetish either. These are regular sexual interests. Not to say these can't be particular interests but they are not fetishes.
All that said...I am somewhat mystified as to why this woman is having trouble finding men who like boobs. As far as I can tell, no man who does not like boobs has ever struck up a conversation with me. And as far as I can tell, straight men who like boobs are in the majority. So like...maybe 75% of men, discounting gay men and the minority of straight or bi men who prefer small boobs.
It appears that her problem is an everywoman problem, that is, finding a guy who can balance the physical and personal attraction.
No particular advice although if she also enjoys sexual play centered on breasts, she might find someone on fetlife. Lots of fun bondage etc can be done with so much to work with.

If her breasts are as big as in those pictures (which I find hard to believe), no wonder men aren’t interested in a relationship: who wants to walk down the street with someone people constantly gawk at? She should look for an extremely tall man, at least 6’6”, who’s used to being stared at. He might even find it a relief to share the attention.

I have nothing useful to contribute. I'm just here to say, since it is vaguely apropos:
TIG OL BIDDIES
which is an amusing if crass phrase.

I thought the dismissive comment about the fiancée's "fake size B boobs" was weird and a turn-off. She's just living her life, not attacking the LW, and presumably the guy loves her, rather than settling for her because his real ideal woman is too much for society to handle. Not to mention that LW reduces men to one-dimensional fetishists and women to their boobs. LW, perhaps check your attitude?

I know it's hard to ignore your most prominent feature, but you (like many women I've met with extra large breasts) seem to see yourself as just a walking pair of boobs (despite your protestations)"...an extreme fetish since that's what I am"...husband #1 ...didn't have a thing for big boobs, which became kind of a bummer... and that seems to bother you (maybe because he didn't worship your self-defining tits the way you expected/wanted? And do I detect a hint of derision for the woman with smaller "fake size B boobs"? Wear them with pride, but don't use them as your sole defining feature, you may be helping to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Klinger on M*A*S*H was proud of his nose, "the pride of Toledo" but only in passing, with self-deprecating humor. You'll always get men that like chesty women as suiters ('cause, let's face it, it's hard to ignore this particular feature) but a little less emphasis on what they mean to you might be helpful.

What part of the country are you in? I'm ready to settle down.

@ squidgie 18 I totally agree! How fucking offensive. And people come in all shapes and sizes, including 'normal' bodies with huge tits (even if it's super rare). Just like the ladies with small boobs don't want to hear people suggesting implants, those of us with big ones don't want to hear that we should get a reduction.

@18/Squidgie: I don't think BIG's issue is an inability to find men who like breasts, rather BIG wants a man who wants to lavish a lot of attention on her breasts during sex play. And you're right, if BIG wants to find a man who has strong interest in breast play, then turning to FetLife isn't a bad place to start.

To those offended by my and others having written about a breast reduction. I can only apologize for myself. Sorry.

However, my point is that once the LW does manage to find a macromastia-centric man with whom she can have a "normal" relationship, which is what she wants to find, there is the future to consider. Should she in the future find the physical and health costs of having extremely large breasts no longer a plus (no pun intended) and decides at that point to have surgery, what of her partner's preoccupation with those no-longer "megaboobs"? Yes, I understand that millions of loving partners of whom many were likely into breasts, stick by and continue to adore their wives after mastectomy. However, we are speaking about those the LW refers to as "megaboob fetishists."

I agree with @22. That you seem to define yourself as and focus on your own breasts. This might be difficult to not do as they are prominently there in the mirror and in every photo. You are likely reminded at least several times a day when you feel that ache in your back, are short of breath, or can't stand the irritation and perhaps rash from your bra, especially in summer. You are reminded as you walk down the street, speak to coworkers, or try to find a comfortable sleeping position. You seem to have made your breasts a positive part of your identity as a balance to these discomfiting experiences, which is healthy. To an extent. Because nothing is permanent in this life and even this one may someday not be there. I suggest that the LW NOT seek out men who are "mega boob fetishists," as she calls them. Finding a man who likes/loves them because they are part of HER and NOT because she is attached to them is what will have a better chance at relationship longevity.

Squidgie/MizM: The difference is that too-small breasts don't cause health problems, but too-large breasts can. Those suggesting a reduction weren't stating that BIG should have surgery to increase her appeal to men, which is always what people suggesting implants mean. If BIG's back is fine, then there's no problem. For now, at least.

And Squidgie, while boobs aren't a fetish, boobs that are well outside the range of average -- in either direction -- can be, if that preference reaches the point of obsession.

If BIG really looks like the pictures she linked to (which I am disinclined to believe is a naturally-occurring body type, just sayin'), then she must understand it is inevitable that, for good or ill, her breasts will be her defining characteristic. They are the first thing anyone will notice about her, and the way she dresses or displays them will, much more so than for even other busty women, project an image of her as a fetish object or a mindless bimbo or an earth mama or some other trope which will be extremely difficult to dislodge.

This is an extreme body, which always comes with the challenge of being simultaneously appreciated for what you offer and appreciated for much more than that what you offer at first glance. The fact that the extreme feature she has is something that is, above and beyond its legitimate secondary sex characteristic, hyper-sexualized by society, adds a layer to the potential problem as being seen only as a humongous pair of tits. Maybe in the days before porn and implants and strippers, women whose bodies naturally tacked to this extreme were still objectified and fetishized and dismissed as women who had anything else to offer. But surely, in the days when women augment and augment their breasts to ever-grotesquely inflations and then market themselves via social media, getting money from followers, BIG has an even greater issue to contend with.

The facts are that breast reductions are available; women can and do artificially inflate their breasts to grotesque proportions for economic gain. So it is a fair assumption that anyone who sees or meets BIG will assume that she is milking her gigantic breaks (sorry; couldn't resist) for all they're worth. She may be viewed with skepticism as a grifter of some sort, or as someone who has chosen to prioritize her boobs at the expense of her brain. These might be unfair and untrue characterizations, but they are all but inevitable.

You know what else is inevitable? Not viewing yourself as being primarily the girl with the huge tits if you look like that. Quite likely a lot of her self-definition revolves around her breasts, around the attention--wanted and unwanted--she gets for them. The sneers and the jeers she must have been subjected to; the assumption that she's perhaps much more promiscuous than she may be in reality or want to be; the constant knowledge that she's being written off as a potential serious girlfriend/wife (not to mention career aspirations) for something that should have absolutely no bearing on her true suitability.

I say "should have" because, just like being an albino or born with a missing limb or having a disfiguring scar or highly unusual eye color or size or any other physical anomaly, walking around all your pre-pubescent life in a body that is stared at or quickly looked away from or reacted to either hyper-positively or ultra-negatively leaves a mark on you psychologically. Forget the advice to get reduction surgery or to tweak her dating profile, I hope she is in therapy, because there's no way her breasts haven't affected her sense of self, her self-esteem, and perhaps her fears of the future. Anyone whose most salient characteristic is physical, especially if that characteristic is typically seen as sexually advantageous, is at risk of investing all their sense of self-worth in that characteristic. But as we age, we need to make sure that we believe and truly feel that we have a lot more to offer than our sexual desirability. The normal aging process threatens to destroy our attractiveness and is feared enough--look at every former beauty queen/trophy wife nearing age 40 or 50 who has spent her life cultivating her looks as her biggest asset. But breasts! Breasts will sag, they will stretch. If she has babies, if she nurses babies, they will change. If she needs a mastectomy, she could face a crisis of self-esteem greater than most women who need to remove a breast. If they are seen (including by her) as her all, despite her saying she's "a pretty cool girl," she is in for a bumpy ride.

Mmm. I suddenly have a tit fetish.

I do believe they can come that big in nature. Google (non pc) hottentot images. You will see that god gives us diversity in all shapes and sizes. I am good with that.

That is all I have....

Is that you Malina.

Hey, girl. I'm a fellow boob sufferer. I'm 32H, but I can't imagine what you're going through on daily basis. I'm going to assume that you already know how to dress and balance your make-up, not that you should have to. You should be able wear/project your appearance however you want. Don't have surgery. Statisically, it doesn't have any health benefits, and I've seen a lot of people with nerve damage after surgery. I've been really lucky in relationships, so I'll share some of my tricks with you. My #1 rule is that I'd never go on a real (emotions involved) date with a man unless he has seen me without make-up or hair and generally at my least attractive. Rule #2, if I haven't slept with him already ; ), I usually tell my first date that I want to have a long-term relationship without sex until marriage. It's an obvious lie, but enough to scare off the ones who only want booby calls. Rule #3 consider the location where you are meeting men. Even changing cities can make a big difference. I live in suburbs surrounded by multiple cities, so I'm lucky to have my pick, but I joke a lot that in 1 particular city even if I wear a poncho, I somehow turn into a ghost with boobs. Not fun. I generally never date anyone that I meet at a bar. Meet-up groups, volunteering, conferences, day time community events - much better quality men than the bars. One final thing to consider - ditch the bra. I know it sounds crazy to all large chested women. In your case I don't even know where you would get one. So if you are still struggling with a bra, then get rid of it. I stopped wearing a bra b/c neck pain, and I thought it was going to be merciless gawking. However, it was incredibly de-sexualizing. The first time that I went out bra-less was a quick trip to target wearing multiple layers. I was shocked. I got no man stares. I finally found out what it was like to be normal!! Of course I can't wear my huge coat everywhere, but it was an eye opening experience, and I haven't worn a bra since. There are tons of tutorials on the internet on clothing choices without a bra. Most people wear things over the nipples, I personally don't bc none of those things fit right. Of course I get starting at my nipples, but I'm already used to it, and it's usually a curious stare rather than a sexual one. My neck pain is gone, I've saved so much time and money, and I love my boobs more than ever. Good luck!!