TJ MIller, a man who was not taught to suppress his sense of humor during his formative years. Bully for us.
TJ Miller, the Booger of Silicon Valley.

Being interviewed is hard. Not hard like things that are actually hard, like working for a living or getting out of bed when what's the fucking point of being alive anyway, but it is, let's say, challenging. And not because people don't like to talk about themselves. The internet has taught us that a infinite desire to elucidate every mundane facet of the self is the only thing that unites our paltry fucking species (present company included).

But every so often, some performer gets to thinking they have the whole nasty machine all figured out, and goes off-script, rubbing the world's nose in his/her/their sense of effortless superiority. The mask is dropped, and with it, the successful actor's pretense of humanity. And it is, without exception, a grotesque thing to behold.

Case in point: actor TJ MIller's interview with Vulture/NY Magazine yesterday, in which he was quoted saying—among about 329 other noxious and obnoxious things—that women aren't as funny as men because “They’re taught to suppress their sense of humor during their formative years.”

I mean, obviously, fuck you.

On the other hand... it might be tempting to consider that it might not be entirely Miller's fault. We all sound like condescending lightweight dipshit imbeciles from time to time, especially when talking into someone else's tape recorder.

Then again, this is the internet, and who the hell is this Miller person, anyway? To be drawn into this argument, to stoop to typing/saying the words "yes huh, women are funny!" is to already have lost—not merely the battle, but the larger struggle presented by the internet: i.e. to retain a shred of dignity while being constantly bombarded with inane garbage. Practically everyone gets disgraced eventually.

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The "suppress their sense of humor" line is lifted straight from the lexicon of things about women's formative years that we men who want to sound right on, worldly, and sensitive love to say. (I have for sure said worse, though I try to do better.) It sounds empathetic, while sneakily reinforcing the prevailing standard that gives rise to the whole observation in the first place. False premise, shallow conclusion. Welcome to 98 percent of public and private discourse.

TJ Miller is hardly the first public figure to trot out the women-aren't-funny saw in an effort to extend the half-life of his spotlit period. He's walking in the footsteps of people who should have, and probably did, know better. Christopher Hitchens's lousy Vanity Fair essay on the subject from 2007, though written on a dare and less literal than it was widely perceived to be (headlines kill), still sucked and constitutes a stain on his otherwise astonishing body of work.

Jerry Lewis famously wandered into this fragrant pasture in 2013.

And more recently, the reality show comedian Iliza Schlesinger put her foot in it, in an apparent (and successful) effort to make people angry.

If the cynical old adage—usually attributed to Andy Warhol (though also to Johnny Rotten and Kathleen Winsor)—"don't read your press, weigh it" is the relevant measurement, then I guess people like Schlesinger and Miller are (to cite a relevant forbear*) "winning." [*Relativity of armchair-diagnosed mental illness vis a vis ambition noted.]

I suppose, in that case, you could argue that writing—and indeed reading—a blog post about this sorry episode constitutes losing. You'll get no argument from me, chum.

So why pile on when Twitter has already feasted on the carcass of Miller's credibility? Two reasons: 1) Because I recognized in myself that weird, deplorable impulse of giving Miller the benefit of the doubt, as though perhaps his statement had been taken out of context, misframed, "sensationalized." Is attacking every word other people say on the internet really the best one can do to alleviate the despair of contemporary life?

So then I went and read the actual interview (ugh), only to discover that 1) His women-not-funny comments were slightly misframed, but 2) the knowledge that they would be was plainly why he made them, and 3) THEY WEREN'T EVEN THE WORST THING HE SAID!

What about this?

“It’s more important to be polarizing than neutralizing. That’s my position.”

Or this?

“There’s no point in moderation 
 Every American’s job in this capitalist society is to consume content 
 If nothing means anything, then anything can mean everything.”

Or motherfucking THIS?

“In the American Zeitgeist,” he says, “you have to recognize that there is no Zeitgeist.”

Admittedly, the odds were against him before he even opened his mouth. To wit: his intro:

The rumpled Miller, dressed in a red warm-up jacket and wearing a gaudy gold chain, has arrayed a bottle of Mucinex, a copy of Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, three small bottles of water, and some sort of facial misting spray on the table before him.

Oh, this? It's just my well-worn copy of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations. Why do you ask?

In the words of a funny woman I know: What a fucking load.

In the words of a woman I don't:

Miller played the loutish character Erlich Bachman on the first four seasons of Silicon Valley, which is a funny show and he was funny on it. He's now going the Chevy Chase/David Caruso route and trying to convert his "that guy is pretty good on that one show" notoriety into a feature film career. Best of luck. He can currently be heard as the voice of the "Meh" emoji in The Emoji Movie.

At least we can all agree this nonsense was in the service of something truly important.
At least we can all agree this nonsense was in the service of something truly important.

I wouldn't want to speculate on the trajectory Miller's career will take after that film—you obviously never know with showbiz. He clearly wouldn't be popping off in public if he didn't have at least a year or two of work lined up, and let's never forget that some other asshole recently got elected president thanks largely to being willing to say venal bullshit in public after having played a supporting role on a terrible TV show.

Miller was pretty good in a supporting role on a good show, so who's to say? Maybe he can become Minister for Culture when the orcs complete their takeover. In the meantime, until The Emoji Movie takes flight, he's still the Booger of Silicon Valley, and if he doesn't learn (in the immortal words of a far more enduring angry nerd) how to "toughen up, toughen up/ keep your lip buttoned up" he's liable to burn through the audience goodwill that got him working in the first place and wind up as the zany one on a Fox News variety show.

Perhaps this is why Miller took to Twitter yesterday to angrily "clarify" his "comments":

“Okay, I guess everyone and their parents missed the point— #feminist SOCIETY depresses humor in women bc it is a sign of intelligence that is THREATENING to men, & so women are taught to suppress those intimidations. It is about SOCIETY’s ills, the misogyny of women’s humor. Don’t get it twisted. The world gets better the more we empower our literal better half. Women ARE FUNNY, against odds that men don’t face."

I don't know anyone in the world who would have a hard time understanding that distinction.

On the other hand, blow it out your Marcus Aurelius, you know? Tone matters. Context matters. The words you say on either side matter. Or they should. There are many ways to re-construct that sentiment to make it reflect an actual attempt at compassion, respect, and savoir-faire. But those things don't keep you in the virtual papers while allowing you to criticize the virtual papers for being so fast and loose with their ethical duties.

You can't speak exclusively in clickbait then attack the person who accurately transcribes and publishes your clickbait language for indulging in clickbait. Well, you can, but only if you're running for office.

I know it's 2017. I know who the president is. I know how much hate and hostility prevail in every imaginable social milieu. But guess what: It's still possible to be a human being from time to time. Even if you're a fucking actor promoting The Emoji Movie and trying to stay as famous as possible for one more day.

😁