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I am in a one-and-a-half-year relationship with potentially "the one." Here's the thing: I have an old sex tape that I made with an ex that I sometimes like to watch when I masturbate. The ex means nothing to me, but the video is kinky and hot. However, I'm afraid that my now girlfriend will someday stumble across it (I have it pretty well hidden) which will hurt her and make her angry with me. Should I get rid of it? What should I do?

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First things first: your girlfriend is going to find that video. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. She'll snoop, or you'll get careless, or some new technology will come along that synchs your phones up with all the other screens in your apartment and this video will suddenly start playing on your widescreen TV. Also, too: No one is "the one." We've covered that extensively—at best there's a .64 out there you can round up to one—but it bears repeating.

As for what you do with that video, VIDEO, that depends on your partner. (Perhaps I should say, "What you do about that video," since we already know what you do with it. Fap, fap.)

So are you and the girlfriend open or monogamish? (It doesn't sound like it.) Does your girlfriend get turned on by you getting turned on, even if she doesn't inspire each and every boner? (Also sounds like a probable no.) Do you think she has her own porn skeletons in her own smartphone closets? Would finding this video be a non-issue for her? Or would finding this video—which she will at some point—trigger the kind of emotional meltdown that could inspire a cataclysmic screamfest or make your girlfriend famous or both?

Since you have your old, kinky and hot sex tape well hidden, VIDEO, I'm gonna assume your girlfriend isn't okay with it and will likely be hurt and angry if she finds it. Or I'm gonna assume you've made that assumption and even broaching the topic is too big a risk to take. In that case... you might wanna delete/destroy the video. Sure, it's hot and kinky and fap, fap. But if it's gonna create a substantial issues with a woman who is potentially "the .64," you might wanna err on the side of deleting that video. You'll always have the memories, VIDEO, and you can get busy creating new sex tapes just as hot or hotter and just as kinky or kinkier—with your current girlfriend, to be clear.

That said, VIDEO, if I had a video like that... I wouldn't delete it. Because I could show it to my partner (with my ex's permission) without having to worry about a cataclysmic screamfest or my husband winding up on Logo's version of "Snapped"—which isn't on the air, as of this writing, but is almost certainly in development. (Proposed names for Logo's gay version of "Snapped": "The Dick of Death," "Oh No She Didn't!," "Filleting Prince Charming.")


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