2016 will never end.
2016 will never end. Justin Sullivan / GETTY

Hey, Did You Hear That the Left Is Eating/Killing/Fucking Itself?: A bunch of magazine writers took the weekend to lay out the hot left-on-left action. Turns out progressives think centrists are economic DINOs willing to capitulate to racists and sexists just to win the 2018 war for Congress, and centrists think progressives are thin-skinned idealists who've never truly been to war and so don't know how to win one. Some proposed a truce as old as time: How's about we agree that nobody on the left is deliberately trying to perpetuate racist/sexist/classist systems, and nobody is claiming to inhabit a clean pool of moral certitude, and then just agree to talk about policy in plain and simple ways that cats and dogs can understand?

But What If the Problem Is Capitalism?: Some Democratic Socialists of America convened in Chicago over the weekend to talk about that. Heidi walked among them. Look to the Stranger on Wednesday for her report.

Speaking Of Lefty Smörgåsbords: In the Seattle Mayoral race, Oliver's up, Moon's steady, Durkan's down, Nelson's out, and Prop 1 is dying if not already dead because people are cruel. More results are expected this afternoon. Whatever the case, Seattle gets a woman mayor for the first time in 91 years come November. Meanwhile, Everett's poised to have a woman lead their city for the first time in 124 years, according to the KOMO news source.

Two UW Rowers Allegedly Distributed Sex Tape Without Consent: The two alleged assholes—John C. Young and Tyler Minney—were 19. Prosecutors say both had sex with a "highly intoxicated" freshman and then shared the video around, reports the Seattle Times. Minney's been charged with doing the same thing to another intoxicated woman, only in that case he took photos and not video. They've been suspended from the team and charged with "gross misdemeanors."


Fire Started By Accident In A Northgate Apartment: The Times says the blaze displaced 60 to 70 people. Blame "faulty electrical equipment."

The Hood Canal's A Pretty Teal Color: Thanks, plankton!


More Young Millionaire Nerds Than Usual Will Be In Town This Week: They play video games for cash. If you're unfamiliar with DOTA 2 International, here's some fine writing about it.

It's Not Going To Be As Hot This Week: But the Canadian smoke will remain.


Mike Pence Really Wants Trump To Know One Thing: He's not running for President in 2020, no matter what the failing New York Times says. Sure, two of his top aides say they've been telling people he's positioning himself to run in case Trump is in jail not going to run, and, sure, he's set up a PAC, and, okay, he's been meeting with Koch brother reps and coal barons, but that's just typical VP stuff.

Mosque In Minnesota Bombed: As worshipers prepared for dawn prayers on Saturday at the Dar Al Farooq Islamic Center in Bloomington, MN, some terrorist tossed an explosive through the window. You can read about it at Al Jazeera. Nobody's hurt or dead. Donald Trump hasn't said anything about it. He's too busy calling Senator Dick Blumenthal a "phony Vietnam con artist," which he is not. He's a real Vietnam con artist, and he apologized for that. On Saturday, instead of releasing a statement about the terrorist attack, the President lied about not vacationing on his own golf course in New Jersey, encouraged his own attorney general to investigate leaks, retweeted a bot, and antagonized North Korea.

Somebody At Google Is a Fucking Idiot: Read this stupid 10-page anti-diversity thing that was floating around their offices if you don't believe me.