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I'm 34, bi, male, married to 22-year-old, bi, sexy-as-fuck lady! We've been married 9 months, together for 2 years. Here's the issue: I think she's the sexiest person I've ever been with. Yes, I love her personality, intelligence, independence, values, everything you should love in your partner, but that ASS! I am horny 24/7 because she is always walking around in her underwear! She wears thongs or booty shorts and a t-shirt that is just high enough to show her ass, any time when we're home. As soon as she gets home, the pants come off. I love this, or I did…last night she wore see-thru panties and we were laying on the couch watching TV and I couldn't keep my hands off of her but she wasn't in the mood and it started a fight. She asked if I thought she was leading me on… and I don't know the answer.

I've always considered myself a respectful gentleman, but sometimes it's like I'm obsessed with her body! Her body is the type I've always lusted for, but never had. The sex is the best sex I've ever had too. It's like I'm on drugs when we fuck. When we're home together, I'm constantly fighting off a boner. I've never wanted to fuck someone this much, and I've been married once before! We have an agreement that we can have flings with people of the same gender since we are bi. But I haven't really wanted the touch of a dude in a while because my wife is so satisfying! But how do I turn it off? We can't snuggle on the couch and watch TV without me getting hard. I know it's my responsibility to respect her body and personal space. I feel like this is all on me, and I need to change, but she asked if she should wear more clothes so she doesn't always feel the pressure from me wanting her. I don't want her to wear more clothes, but is that the logical option? Is it fair to put that on her? (I don't think so.) I thought I was better than this! What do I do!?

Hopelessly A Rockhard Dick

Think of Jeff Sessions. Think of Jeff Sessions doing anything to anybody. Studies have shown that just one person picturing Jeff Sessions so much as opening a jar of pickles is enough to kill every boner within a three mile radius. It's true, HARD, it's science.

In other words, HARD, you're gonna have to control yourself. Since you can't ask your wife to wear more clothes just because the sight of her body makes you feel funny down there—because that's what religious conservatives ask of women and you're not a religious conservative—perhaps you should wear more clothes. You're going to get the boners you're gonna get—it's a physiological response you can't totally control (except with mental images of Jeff Sessions, of course)—but you can make your boners less conspicuous. Don't wear tight jeans. Wear baggy pants. Wear loose boxers. Wear longer shirts.

And remember: boners aren't orders. Your boner doesn't obligate your wife to do anything, HARD. Get on the same page about that—sometimes your boner is gonna be put to work, sometimes your boner is gonna hang out doing nothing—and your wife hopefully won't feel pressured by the presence of a boner. Boners can happen on their own, but sex is a choice you both make. If you're hard but she's not up for sex, HARD, you can (both) enjoy the intimacy and eroticism of the moment regardless.

In other words, HARD, you can have a boner and respect your wife's body and personal space at the same time.

I get a lot of letters from people who can't get hard around their partners, HARD, so I'm gonna file your letter under "good problem to have." The underlying issue here is that your libidos don't align perfectly—you're hornier than she is, you want sex more often than she does. Instead of worrying about suppressing your boner through clothing/relaxation/terrifying mental images of Jeff Sessions manfully gripping pickle jars, why don't you help your boner out by... you know, masturbating? If your wife constantly makes you hard, and your sex life is great, but your wife is frustrated by your constant advances, why not take some of the air out of the pump by cranking a few out on your own? Or hooking up with a dude now and then?


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