Eclipse 2017: Bring those special glasses and that special weed (but not to Wyoming).
Eclipse 2017: Bring those special glasses and that special weed (but not to Wyoming). FERNANDO CAMINO VIA GETTY IMAGES

The Justice Department is harshing our mellow by putting a major damper on cannabis research projects, but at least a new “green bank” has opened in Florida to help medical marijuana businesses. Teresa May says there’s nothing wrong with bongs (except when you leave the water in them too long). And, are you planning on being totally high for totality? Words of wisdom (and warning) below. Read on.

States Brace for Stoners and the Eclipse

Planning on traveling to the path of totality to watch the eclipse? It’s certainly not the path less traveled—millions of people are expected to snarl traffic into an apocalyptic car hell this weekend. Surely, the stoners among us need to be prepared. In Oregon, news stations are reporting that there’s already been a spike in weed sales, and some enterprising businesses are cashing in with eclipse-branded strains and "Stoner Eclipse Adventure Tours."

If you’re among the estimated quarter-million people heading to Wyoming to view the eclipse, be careful. Law enforcement warns that despite the proximity to Colorado, where weed is legal, Wyoming police will be strictly enforcing their marijuana laws (both medical and recreational are illegal).

If you are able to consume legally during the eclipse, here’s five great strains you may want to stock up on.

Seattle Hempfest is this Weekend!

If you’re around the city this weekend, support Seattle Hempfest by showing up and donating—even though the event is free. The festival, now in its 26th year, has been going through some shit lately—financial struggles, harassment from city inspectors, and now, national anti-weed group Smart Approaches to Marijuana is attacking them, saying the festival has been taken over by “corporate pot” and is going to become like “big tobacco.”

Is the Justice Department Roadblocking Marijuana Research?

Sure sounds like it. When the Drug Enforcement Agency receives applications to grow cannabis for research, they have to send it to the Dept. of Justice for final approval. And surprise, surprise, the DOJ hasn’t done a thing with the applications!

“They’re sitting on it,” one law enforcement official told The Washington Post. “They just will not act on these things.” So far, the only place authorized to grow cannabis for research is the University of Mississippi. And we already know their weed is nothing to write home about.

Florida Gets a Green Bank

Not many financial institutions will work with marijuana-based businesses, especially with all the uncertainty surrounding the DOJ’s plans with legal weed. But one bank in Orlando is offering financial services to medical marijuana businesses. The founder of the bank says marijuana helped his wife manage her seizures after a bicycle accident. So far, they've has been managing “nearly $30 million in deposits from cannabis companies,” according to Leafly.

Nevada Distribution Woes

Everybody made a big hoopla over how Nevada’s first weekend going legal led to through-the-roof sales, but since then dispensaries have been scraping by with low supply, and sales have dropped up to 30 percent. But growers are sitting on a ton of product just waiting to get out there. So what’s the problem?

Distribution. There are not enough businesses around to deliver the goods, because right now only liquor distributors can get licenses to deliver cannabis products (which is stupid). An emergency order back in June was issued to hand out licenses to cannabis companies to distribute (which is logical), but liquor distributors challenged it in court.

Luckily, one Nevada judge has lifted the liquor industry’s sole distribtution rights, saying that there is “overwhelming evidence that alcohol wholesalers don’t have the capability to meet the needs of dozens of recreational cannabis dispensaries from Las Vegas to Reno.”

Hahahaha, Oh, You Mean Those Bongs