Trump Threw Paper Towels at Puerto Ricans Like He Was Shooting Hoops

Comments

1
I guess they are short on torches and pitchforks after the storm. I had such high hopes for the welcome he would get on this trip, too.
2
Surprised no one threw them back at him.
3
Really now @2. Not hard to imagine how much a roll of paper towels is needed, and you wouldn't give yourself the luxury of tossing it back just to make a political point.
4
@3:

Really, please enlightened us privileged masses as to exactly how high, on a list of crucial items necessary to ones survival in a literal post-apocalyptic landscape with no food, no potable water, no electricity, few medical supplies, and damned little shelter, a $1.59 roll of Brawny paper towels rates?
5
Are you being deliberately, insanely obtuse, @4, or are you just a complete fucking moron? Those are the only options to explain your last comment, I'm afraid.
6
Sorrh @4, I obviously meant "raindrop" @3.
7
"Sorry" not "sorrh" Jesus maybe I'm the moron
8
@7

No, @3 is the moron.
9
@7: Third time's a charm.
10
@4: If a roll had been thrown back, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Hence, my explanation is sound.
11
Not to say tossing the towels isn't crass, it's very crass.

And I've been crass.
12
A brown person throwing something at the president might get shot.
13
if a wizard poped off right then dotdotdot well that didn't happen hence, my reasoning (by which i mean conjecture) is sound, completed 3 times in the charmin. (bounty is the charmin of paper towels, thanks procter & gamble :)) are prez keep us smarter like a 241 sale on papes.
14
Yeah, but did anyone see that picture of the San Juan mayor wearing high heels?

The horror.
15
@12,

Your comment did remind me of this great moment in American history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM3Z_Ksk…
16
@4
To someone who has gone a week without toilet paper a roll of paper towels would be pretty useful.
If you ever wiped your ass you would realize that.
17
@10:

Um, no your explanation isn't anywhere close to being sound. Now, if a shoe had been thrown, you might have had something - a soft, cushy, impossible-to-hurt-with roll of paper towels, not so much.

@16:

Ever been camping or hiking? You'd be amazed how many "civilized accouterments" one can live without for a week. For example: I'm pretty sure there's lots of tattered cloth around, Or flat stones. Or plain water (the preferred substance for bum-cleaning in a large part of the world). Or leaves. Big ole' leaves work in (or on) a pinch, so long as you know what poison oak and poison ivy looks like.

But yeah, I'm sure those 3.5mm people have collectively been holding it for the past week, or walking around with feces-encrusted asses like some child character in a Céline novel, just waiting for the opportunity to have a tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced shit gibbon lob a few rolls of PT in their general direction.
18
@17: Good Heavens! We've all had to improvise. I don't think that's @16's point.
19
Interesting that there is extensive media coverage on this incident but nary a peep from Fox News that I've been able to locate (albeit I did so reluctantly and while wearing gloves). What our apparent president continues to ignore is that "optics" can be critical, especially to those who challenge his positions. I fully expect Fox News to put a fun twist on this, that prez was just trying to lighten up a difficult situation.... again, just being a (regular rather than fucking) moron.
20
@19: I bet Greg Gutfeld on 'The Five' will have a take on it.

@17: Stones and leaves aren't very useful for cleaning up diarrhea, or vomit, or maybe even to start a fire. You're so myopically out-of-touch.

21
@19: Maybe we are all learning that optics really aren't that critical. Terrible "optics" have been the cornerstone of this administration, but they have never really been the cause of anything except a lot of whining on opinion news shows and comment boards. Does the news cycle just flow too fast for bad optics to really matter anymore?

Can you think of one issue or obstacle the Trump administration has had that is purely due to optics? Something that actually matters, not just pundits kvetching about Melania's footwear. I can't.
22
@21 I guess Mueller will tell us if its a problem that actually matters for Donald to hire his family and a bunch of dudes that worked for Russia and accept money from foreigners or if its all optics.
23
@20:

Water OTOH is extremely effective for cleaning up effluvium; doesn't even have to be potable. In fact, that would be a rather wasteful use of drinking water, if the supply is limited.

As for fire-starting, that's actually not very difficult, even without modern sources of ignition such as lighters or matches. For example: the U.S. Army Survival Manual lists eight different ways to start a fire, and that doesn't even include more exotic methods such as: ice lenses (granted not terribly effective in a tropical environment), lemon "batteries", aluminum cans, even plastic sandwich bags. The point being, there are lots of unorthodox ways of starting a fire in an emergency - hell, you can even do it in more extreme weather conditions like pouring rain if you have the proper tools and training - it's just a matter of familiarizing yourself with the various methods and being resourceful. Heck, I'll bet even someone as myopically out-of-touch as yourself could get the hang of it with a little time and practice..
24
@23: What's going on with you? You think Puerto Ricans are competing for episodes on Survivor?

It's not whether YOU think paper towels are indispensable or convenient. It's about THEIR well-being and THEIR convenience is part of their well-being.

That's where your myopic self-absorbion is showing.
25
You guys know this was just a photo opp and that everyone is going to get paper towels and not just the people who happened to catch a roll, right? Obviously the 'optics' (ugh) are garbage because anytime Trump opens his mouth without the assistance of a teleprompter garbage sprays out like a firehose but they have more supplies and people will get more than a roll of bounty out of this so maybe sweating appearances is not worth anyone's time. It is a highly choreographed photo opp that our president still has not learned how to manage without fucking up and it won't be the last, and none of it matters.
26
@24: Yeah, if an chief-exeututive touched Bounty roll sells on eBay it will be a good thing.
27
@24:

Given the abysmally slow response of FEMA and the current administration, combined with the severe logistical difficulties getting needed supplies to outlying areas, many of these unfortunate people probably wish they were On "Survivor", which would be a veritable cake-walk compared to the levels of deprivation they're experiencing - and will continue to experience for months to come.

The sad fact is, literally hundreds of thousands of Puerto Ricans are going to be on their own for quite some time, which means they're going to need to find a way to survive using any means at their disposal - and most of those are going to be less than optimal. Taking a couple of minutes in front of the cameras to toss a few rolls of paper towels into a tiny throng of desperate survivors of a cataclysmic weather event (he spent a grand total of four hours on the ground) is the absolute worst kind of narcissistic ego-stroking - and this coming from someone who has elevated the art of self-serving pandering to levels undreamed of in recent memory. I'm not swallowing it, the people of Puerto Rico aren't swallowing it, the media isn't swallowing it either, those leading the relief efforts aren't swallowing it, even members of his own party are having trouble swallowing it. But, you don't seem to be having any trouble swallowing it hook, line, and sinker - go figure.
28
@27: I'll give you the last pontification of the matter.
29
@28:

Yeah, you should have quit while you were behind - back at @3...
30
@29: A true gentleman, taking the high road and being magnanimous.
31
@30:

If you can't take the flaming, best to stay out of the comment thread...
32
@30: Not one to want to get the last dig in.
33
Not when you're wrong, no.
34
@23
Really?
You're really going to double-down on the Who Needs TP thing?
Hatred blinds those it afflicts.
Pry your eyes open.
35
@34 - Dude, you supported trump in this, you're clearly a fucking moron just like he is.

@32 - You're also clearly a fucking moron, no trump required.
36
@34:

More than half the people in the world never use TP and yet somehow manage to maintain adequate standards of personal hygiene - so, it's not exactly like being able to wipe your ass with pulped plant cellulose is considered a basic human right or anything. Perhaps you should stop being a pampered little right-wing snowflake living in your sparkly free-market bubble and get out into the world a bit more.
37
@35:

@36:
38
@36
OK.
We'll let you break the news to Puerto Rico that they won't be needing TP going forward.

@35
If appreciating TP makes one a Trump supporter then we begin to realize why Hillary's fans are still so buttsore.
39
@38:

I'm guessing many of them, not having had access to double-ply Charmin for more than a week now, have already figured this out - necessity being the mother of invention and all...
40
@39: I suggest you fly down there and find out for sure and report back to us.
41
procter & gamble have the t last word, get it out and up $PG! it got a bump, a bounce as it were (ahahahaha) on monday (the *dawn* of the week) who cares. the only cloth needs softening is the pr bonds. what if trump figured out a way to actually zero pr's debt? what if he did another good thing?
42
@38 - Why do conservatives suck so bad at humor?
43
@40:

Sure thing - just as soon as you wire me the $$ for the round-trip ticket. Think of it as a public service to help assuage your unbridled anxiety over not being able to fathom how people could possibly survive a cataclysmic natural disaster for weeks and months without access to manufactured butt-wipe.
44
@43: Indeed, however most prefer manufactured butt-wipe over stinky assholes.
45
@44:

And as I've shown, there are numerous well-known and proven-effective means of alleviating that condition that don't require use of paper products. Sorry your reading comprehension skills are so deficient, or that you're so pampered you can't imagine practicing your morning toilet any other way, but most of the rest of the planet doesn't share your Puritanical squeamishness over common bodily functions.
46
@45: At this late comment stage, its seems whatever we've been debating about is incredibly inane. Nevertheless, that you've obviously delved into a subject with great details few of us ever, of ever need, to concern ourselves with is commendable. As a conservative, environmentally minded citizen, I do get the coarser stuff instead of the Charmin.
47
@46:

You are just sooo desperate to have the last word on this, aren't you?
48
The sheer fact that you asked a question indicates your desperation rather than mine, especially after I graciously encouraged you to end it way back at @28. You're pathetic.
49
@48:

And yet, here you are again. If you REALLY want to end it: Just. Stop. Responding.
50
@49: Comment @47 is in the form of a question. I typically answer questions. So don't pretend you didn't expect a response.
51
@49: Sure, I'll do my part. This is my last response and we'll make @49 your last response.
52
@50:

I guess the concept of a rhetorical question is beyond your comprehension - not surprising.

@51:

I don't take orders from you. But, I'll be interested to see if you have the minimal self-control to hold to your own commitments.
53
@52: Yes it was rhetorical snipe, but it's still a question. And we obviously see that you couldn't let it go either. Everything you say going forward about me not ending this is a boomerang on you, sweetie.
54
@53:

Well, at least now you've demonstrated you have the self-discipline and will power of an invertebrate sponge, combined with the debate skills of a six year-old. Seriously, invoking the "I am rubber, you are glue..." argument? Is my next step now supposed to be to triple-dog dare you to a fight behind the portable during recess? (That, BTW is also rhetorical - in case it wasn't clear to you, which, given your track-record thus-far is entirely likely.)
55
To demonstrate my sincerity, my final comment will have no content.
56
I'll just have to keep you in suspense, because you're clearly enjoying this.
57
I wouldn't say "enjoy" so much as "endure".
58

59
Regardless, it's a small price to pay to deny you the gratification you so desperately crave.