Put your phones, tablets, laptops, and gaming devices away while driving! The grace period is over for distracted driving. All officers have started ticketing — fines start at $136 — anyone using a device while behind the wheel. Don’t worry rideshare drivers (and others probably), you can still use your phone as long as it’s mounted in a dashboard cradle and if it’s a single touch use. This all makes sense, but I need to know which genius was distracted driving via laptop.

Unenforceable tickets issued to homeless people: Last December, Seattle Police officers issued tickets to homeless people in Ballard Commons park. The $500 fines were issued on a city code that Seattle Municipal Court couldn’t enforce.

I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys R Us Kid: So goes the slogan of the iconic toy store. Once a staple of family life and the favorite day trip destination for kids, Toys R Us is closing 182 stores nationwide. In an attempt to stay afloat and competitive in an Amazon monopoly, the store’s plan is to reinvent itself as a smaller, leaner retailer. I guess we all have to grow up sometime, Toys R Us.

Can you name the three branches of government? If that’s a yes, then you’re among the paltry 26 percent of Americans who can. Schools chief Chris Reykdal and U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor think that’s a problem. They’re trying to boost civics learning in Washington state by making it a required, standalone high school class.

Firefighting foam could be infiltrating your drinking water: And your body. A new bill in the Legislature would ban certain polyfluoroalkyl and perfluoroalkyl chemicals (PFAs) that show up in firefighting foams. They’re bad for the environment and could pose increased risks for kidney and testicular cancer. But, people are worried substitutes would be inadequate in fighting fires and that the new chemicals could be just as bad.

A Portland stripper murdered her rival: Rinita Lowe, 25, stabbed fellow stripper and long-time rival Shantina Turner three times in the neck during an argument in 2016. In a video recording of the argument, Turner can be seen choking Lowe just before the stabbing occurred. Lowe was sentenced to 15 years yesterday.

Olympia clamps down on private workplace harassment: With three new bills. The first would prevent employers from making workers sign non-disclosure agreements that prevent them from speaking out about harassment. The second targets limits an employee’s right to file a harassment claim. The third would develop best models and practices to make a safer, sexual harassment free workplace.

Alaskan earthquake shakes Washington residents: A tsunami alert that came after Alaska’s 7.9 quake early Tuesday morning was heeded by some Washington residents who made their way to higher ground. However, many people slept through the alerts. We weren’t at risk here in Seattle, but I snoozed through all potential-tsunami news. This was a wake up call (nice) for some and demonstrated what worked and didn’t work with the tsunami alert system. I don’t know about you, but I feel like the “Big One” inches closer to us every day and every day we inch closer to death. I guess now is as good a time as any to start compiling that earthquake kit I keep telling myself I’m going to make.

Headline of the week so far: The Guy Who Played Barney the Dinosaur Now Runs a Tantric Sex Business

Fake news is the Devil: Says Pope Francis, the leading authority on all things religion and now, I guess, journalism. Apparently, journalism is the one-true “Michael” that can vanquish the “Lucifer” of fake news. Thank you, I learned all I know about religion from the CW’s “Supernatural.” I’m not proud of that. I hope Pope Francis will appreciate my journalism.

What’s up with Tide Pods: There are occasions where things that start as internet jokes make it into the realm of the real world. For instance, the whole “Pepe” thing was just this dumb frog and gross people masturbating to each other on 4chan forums or whatever. Then, it transcended into the real world and it turns out they’re Nazis. It’s a whole thing. Anyway. Tide Pods. It started off as a joke like, “lol look at this colorful thing, don’t you just want to eat it.” And at first no one actually did want to eat it. But, then the joke continued and it grew and got more exaggerated and people kept pushing boundaries to be funnier. That’s when people actually started eating Tide Pods. There have been Tide Pod-induced hospitalizations! Tide had to issue warnings and beg people to please, please, not eat laundry detergent.

This is what we’ve come to:

Tide pod challenge has some local stores locking up their detergent https://t.co/b4Vgp516Bw pic.twitter.com/oGQwEQrDrO
— KING 5 News (@KING5Seattle) January 24, 2018

Tide Pods are under lock and key. They’re now a common contraband in our retail stores. They’re relegated to the same treatment as a can of spray paint at Michaels, the liquor at Target, or the razor blades at certain drugstores. Stop eating detergent and free the Tide Pods.

Because he can: Elon Musk is launching a rocket with a Tesla strapped to it into space.

The victims of ex-USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar continue to speak out: Today is the seventh day of his sentencing hearing. Over 150 women have spoken about and detailed the abuse they suffered at his hands. Rachael Denhollander, Nassar’s first public accuser, is testifying today.

"You have pissed off the wrong army of women"

"You stole my light and now I am taking it back"

"When girls came forward and told an adult, the adults didn't listen"

Over 150 women have accused former gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar of sexual abuse (1/5) https://t.co/MkXbQ2Yi9T pic.twitter.com/SZJbwSRkXP
— NBC News (@NBCNews) January 24, 2018

Wondering how to spend your Hump Day? Tonight's #MeToo in Seattle Tech: What Men Can Do panel is sold out, but it’s not too late to go to Patrisse Khan-Cullors’s "When They Call You a Terrorist” talk, the first night of the SEA X SEA: Southeast Asia x Seattle Film Festival, or the Southgate Roller Rink’s Wednesday Experiments live concert featuring Karl Blau. Check out our Things To Do calendar for more options, including where to watch the Oscar nominees

Here's what you're eating today:

Ethan sent this at an early 5:26 a.m. You know what they say, the early bird gets the parfait!

If this is how Sydney starts her day then she's better than all of us.

"Halfway to home ownership?" Beau asks. I don't know, Beau, you've seen the market these days. You might need to consider making more sacrifices.

I can neither confirm nor deny this is from the Joe at Joe Bar but it is definitely from a Joe at Joe Bar. "Apricot jam on toast," Joe says. "I call it 'the mom from Home Improvement' because I think it’s underrated."

Rebecca starts off her email with the age old question: "I know your first thought might be 'Will she eat it, or did she eat it?'" Jury's out on this one. Let us know, Rebecca.