Courtesy of Slog tipper Jubilation T. Cornball, who writes: "What could be better than a bunch of whores singing a poignant Christmas song? Hooray, Dolly! Hooray, whores!"

But here's what I want to know: what's so damn sucky about hard candy that you can modify Christmas with it and ruin Christmas for everyone? Or is hard candy like kryptonite for hookers?