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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Westboro Baptist Church Takes on Mt. Zion

Posted by on Sun, Jun 14, 2009 at 11:32 AM

Oh man, I am kind of obsessed with these crazy people. I just live a block away from the Mt. Zion Baptist Church and I could hear the singing/yelling/fag-hating/anti-fag-hating through my bedroom window this morning: a pleasant blend of "2 4 6 8 Don't assume your kids are straight!" and "YOU WILL EAT YOUR BABIES." The nutter-butters had set up shop along Madison across the street from Mt. Zion Baptist Church, outnumbered at least five to one by protestors on the opposite side of the street. There was much honking and middle-fingering from passing cars.

151a/1245003067-img00045.jpg

The WBC folks are weirdly jovial. (Also, one of them was weirdly HOT, which was pointed out to me by someone from the SPD.) They have a whole schtick going—everything ends with a ZINGGG!!! ("Seattle is the city of not coffee, not cappuccino, but CRAPuccino!" ZINGGG!!!) I almost liked chatting with Jael—when I could get her to shut up about scripture for a minute (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz), I asked her if they're enjoying their time in Seattle and what they're doing when they're not reminding Jews to "TAKE A BATH WITH SOME SOAP." It went like this:

"So, are you guys going to, like, go to the Space Needle?"
"Maaaaaaaybe! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
"I'm just wondering what you do in your free time—I don't mean that I want to hang out or anything."
"No, I wouldn't imagine."
"I mean, I'm sure you're lovely."

8793/1245003652-img00048.jpg

This is Jael.

Through the window of a car stopped at the light, I heard a little girl—probably 7 years old or so—ask her dad, "How could the Jews kill Jesus? You can't, like, go back in time."

A twentysomething man ran through yelling, "I LOVE DICKS!"

A middle-aged passerby commented, "I think they're nuttier than a bag of howler monkeys."

The WBC folks don't care at all—they just want to make a scene, get some attention, throw in some ZINGGG!!!!!!s, then move on. They're living trolls and there's no reasoning with them, so I just tried to have a chat.

I had this exchange with a creepy fish-faced WBC member who was yelling about feces.

"Wait, what about feces?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
"I'm a reporter."
(skeptical) "Yeah, okay."
"I am!"
"Right."
"What do you think I am if I'm not a reporter?"
"Oh. Oh man."
"Okay, I write for the Feces Times."
"Hey! There you go!"

ZINGGG!!!!!


More—including photos and video from Kelly O—coming later.

 

Comments (54) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
"I think they're nuttier than a bag of howler monkeys."

The real expression is Nuttier than squirrel turds.
Posted by Mickey in Ar on June 14, 2009 at 11:41 AM
monkey 2
I love good parody.
Posted by monkey on June 14, 2009 at 11:44 AM
piminnowcheez 3
I know I don't really want to know the answer to this, but I can't help asking: wtf is that "bitch burger" business about?
Posted by piminnowcheez on June 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM
4
"Okay, I write for the Feces Times."

Finally! One of you admits it! ;) ZINGGG!!!!!
Posted by agdtinman on June 14, 2009 at 11:52 AM
kim in portland 5
I'm guessing, Jael is named after, Jael the wife of Heber the Kenite who drove a tent peg through the temple of Sisera while he slept, with a hammer (Sisera was the army commander of Jabin, a king of Canaan, who were trying to rule Northern Israel) in Judges ch. 4. You might not want to stand to close, especially if you feel sleepy.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on June 14, 2009 at 11:55 AM
6
Is the hotty's name pronounced "Ya-EL?"
Posted by Tippy Katz on June 14, 2009 at 11:56 AM
7
You're exactly right Lindy, these people are indeed living trolls. Why people keep feeding them I have no idea.
Posted by Brandon J. on June 14, 2009 at 11:58 AM
Julie in Eugene 8
Alright. I know it's insane for me to even ask this question... but... why are we going to be eating our babies again?

Is this some kind of punishment for abortion (in hell, will women who have abortions be forced to eat their fetuses)? Or, is this about the end times (when the end times come, there won't be any food so we'll have to eat our babies)?

I am nothing if not dogged in my determination to see some logic in these people's derangement.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on June 14, 2009 at 12:01 PM
monkey 9
It's like watching a bloody slasher movie but the gore is so over the top and cartoonish that it loses its shock value. That's the Phelps clan... cartoonish gore. I should be offended but I'm oddly entertained.
Posted by monkey on June 14, 2009 at 12:02 PM
reverend dr dj riz 10
thanks kim for the old testament moment..and you're right i better get my triple skinny crappachino on.
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on June 14, 2009 at 12:05 PM
elenchos 11
The Feces Times is still publishing? I thought they were put out of business by Craigslist and the Huff Post.
Posted by elenchos on June 14, 2009 at 12:16 PM
reverend dr dj riz 12
@3..i just googled this. courtesy of the urban dictionary...
" bitch burger - an insult directed toward people who are mean or rude to everyone for no reason. someone you want to smush into a burger and fry them up nice and
good. "
yum
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on June 14, 2009 at 12:16 PM
13
Is the hottie you mention here the same one a few people were commenting on in yesterday's post (shaved head, flag tucked into his shorts)? I courteously request more pictures of him. Too bad it probably won't get hot enough today for him to take his shirt off. Can they come back in August? YUMMY!
Posted by Matty Worth on June 14, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Sargon Bighorn 14
These people are not the enemy of freedom, equal rights, or equality for all Americans. It's the Baptists, the Mormons, the Catholic Church and other Radical Religious Extremists that have huge memberships, bank accounts, and political connections.

Yet one rarely sees them out in force on the street. One often sees them in force at the ballot box, where alas so many people that want freedom, equal rights and equality for all often can't be bothered to show up. Yet where do the people who want freedom, equal rights for all and equality show up in numbers? Across the street from the people from a small but well known, yet politically ineffective fringe religious group.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on June 14, 2009 at 12:29 PM
15
A couple points,

* A middle-aged passerby commented, "I think they're nuttier than a bag of howler monkeys."

This is perfect (and thanks a fuck of a lot for doing your best to crap all over it, @1)

* (Also, one of them was weirdly HOT, which was pointed out to me by someone from the SPD.)

Shouldn't this be:
(Also, one of them was HOT, which was weirdly pointed out to me by someone from the SPD.)
?

* Jael is pretty hot herself, but something tells me she would be more appealing without the BITCH BURGER sign.

Right?

More—including photos and video from Kelly O—coming later.

Could we get some footage of Jael to make sure, and see if she might pose without the BITCH BURGER and all just for comparison?
Posted by jw36 on June 14, 2009 at 12:33 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 16
So, I kind of hate my life right now, and I've been thinking about how prison sounds kind of nice. No responsibilities or expectations, free room and board, and if you're lucky, the occasional ass-rape. Hot. <3

Gunning these fuckers down would be kind of a great way to get there, if you ask me.

I don't OWN a gun, but thanks to right-wing nutjobs, it's awfully easy to get one! :D

I mean, honestly, I can't be bothered, but, food for thought, that's all I'm sayin'.
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on June 14, 2009 at 12:55 PM
wisepunk 17
Is her father Jor-el?

Kneel before Zod?
Posted by wisepunk on June 14, 2009 at 12:56 PM
William T. Fuckweiler 18
It's official- only Lindy West is fit to objectively do stories on these guys. Do it to it, baby!
Posted by William T. Fuckweiler on June 14, 2009 at 1:01 PM
Fnarf 19
Get well, Violet, and don't go gunning down any crazies. Leave that move to them. It's devastating to the side that does it, not the side that it gets done to.

Jael is this year's winner in the category "Least Fuckable Person on Earth", isn't she?
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on June 14, 2009 at 1:02 PM
20
Um... yeah... the haterhottie with the brown shorts.

Definitely yummy.

I wonder if these wingnuts have a yearly calendar like our local fire department has. Of course I'd triple whatever I'd pay for it and donate that to whatever lefty organization keeping an eye on them in their home turf.

I mean I can be horny but conscientious, too, you know... .
Posted by Your Name Here on June 14, 2009 at 1:03 PM
Joh 21
They're almost as funny as Pat Robertson.
Posted by Joh on June 14, 2009 at 1:03 PM
loveless 22
so are these the same people who hang out on UW campus in Red Square sometimes with the big signs with pictures of aborted fetuses and shit like that?
Posted by loveless on June 14, 2009 at 1:05 PM
kim in portland 23
Hey Violet,

I'm praying you a big hug. Get well and take care. Slog wouldn't be the same without you.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on June 14, 2009 at 1:08 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 24
(Fnarf and Kim, you're sweet, thank you.)
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on June 14, 2009 at 1:13 PM
25
I was at Wedgwood's counter protest this morning and I had the same reaction to Jael. She looked like she was having fun and she was adding weird fills to the songs she was singing and we were bantering across NE 35th St and she seemed like a lot of fun to hang out and then I'd listen to what she was actually singing, and the spell of coolness around her was snapped. It was really weird. I was expecting more anger.
Posted by zzyzx on June 14, 2009 at 1:26 PM
26
Can we pick up the "SPD are Communists!" guy at Pacific Place and varies nut jobs from around the city and drop the off there with the WBC and see what happens?
Posted by help the needy trolls on June 14, 2009 at 1:28 PM
27
After having to suffer with 20 minutes of the Hari Krishnas being vocal on the street right under my window (I just jammed my ipod on and listened to Divine's 'Native Love' and synched it up to the HKs. Woah, I wish I had been stoned for this)... I was wondering what would happen with a HK/WC mash-up.

Seriously.
Posted by Your Name Here on June 14, 2009 at 1:29 PM
28
I actually asked the lady what "bitch burger" meant, and first she said "well honey, if you'd read the bible then maybe you'd know". (Oddly, my search of the bible failed to turn up this phrase.) Then she went on to ramble about women being bitches for our various crimes against our children, like aborting them and failing to teach them about god hating everyone. It seems to tie in with their "you will eat your children" sign -- you can't really tell from a distance, but the burger has a baby in it. Here is their hardly more comprehensible explanation: http://www.westborobaptistchurch.com/wri…
Posted by lilzilla on June 14, 2009 at 1:52 PM
29
What's with the "Wouldn't you like to know" nonsense? Aren't these people supposed to be getting out their weird, hateful message? If someone doesn't understand what you're shouting, isn't it in your best interest to clarify?

I guess I just question their communication policy. They should pick one clear message and stick with it. Decide who it is that God hates today and go shout at them for awhile. The rainbow-background signs about Jews just confuse everyone.
Posted by Monty on June 14, 2009 at 2:00 PM
30
I tried to spot the cute guy on their website, but he's nowhere to be found, alas. Must be a new convert (how many are there, anyway?). What a waste.

Their pictures site is so odd: they're all holding these hateful signs, but smiling so pleasantly for the camera. You'd expect more consistency. I guess they just must get a kick out of their little act.
Posted by rose in belltown on June 14, 2009 at 2:00 PM
31
i think they're ok with abortion as long as the fetus is gay.
Posted by m@tt on June 14, 2009 at 2:15 PM
Michael of the Green 32
@30 Yes, somebody should have the task of getting more photos of him, and maybe some video? I'm guessing that the spell would break once he opens his mouth, though. Perhaps he would be willing to do a little posing? Standing on the flag is a nice touch.

Where do these people go to eat? I'd be curious what they're like in a non-sign-holding context.
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 14, 2009 at 2:15 PM
kim in portland 33
Lilzilla and Julie,

It's my take that the "bitch burger" is somewhat of a prophesy of our future they believe. We (the US) are, the disobedient adulterous nation of Isreal and Samaria in Deut. 26 and 2 King 6, and we will be besieged for our sins (legalized abortion, fag enabling, gay, stem cell research, etc.,) and so great will be our poverty, famine, and morals that we will eat our own. I don't know if they think the siege will be done by another nation or at the end times. That's my $0.02 on it.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on June 14, 2009 at 2:25 PM
34
the more the bitch burger is discussed, the more confusing it becomes. so is this the future of trolling? not pushing your buttons like a younger sibling, but forcing you to waste your own time trying to parse a non sequitor?
Posted by Montdidier on June 14, 2009 at 2:34 PM
zeebleoop 35
you have to have some pretty low expectations to think any of those people are hot.

and instead of trying to figure them out or retort with lame grade school insults, why not just ignore them? like most trolls they are doing what they do to get a rise out of a community. you'll never change their minds and even the briefest acknowledgement of what they're doing only fuels their purpose. if you ignore them they will eventually go away.
Posted by zeebleoop on June 14, 2009 at 2:41 PM
Just Blue 36
@34, maybe that is the next wave of trolling. If so, I'm falling for it because I took a minute to look up "bitch burger" myself.

Kim nailed it. A Westboro blogger explains it here:

http://blogs.sparenot.com/index.php/work…
Posted by Just Blue on June 14, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 37
Considering that most of their lovely religion was stolen in whole cloth directly from Judaism, they have a lot of nerve condemning Jews. (What wasn't ripped off from Judaism was pretty much stolen from Mithraism, BTW.)

What a bunch of jerk-offs.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on June 14, 2009 at 2:47 PM
kim in portland 38
Fifty-Two-Eighty,

Good point.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on June 14, 2009 at 2:52 PM
39
"and instead of trying to figure them out or retort with lame grade school insults, why not just ignore them?"

It's not about us or them. It's about the person who tries to go to the synagogue or gay friendly organization and hears an unchallenged message that makes them wonder who among their neighbors agrees with this. The point is to show that their views are not that of a silent majority of Seattlites but instead are an invading minority. That was worth 45 minutes of my time this morning.
Posted by zzyzx on June 14, 2009 at 2:58 PM
40
@6 sadly, no! the jews know that it is Yael, but the fundies? they name their spawn, jay-ell. i've worked with more than one jay-ell. they don't know. . .
Posted by cranky on June 14, 2009 at 4:12 PM
zeebleoop 41
@39

"It's not about us or them. It's about the person who tries to go to the synagogue or gay friendly organization and hears an unchallenged message that makes them wonder who among their neighbors agrees with this. The point is to show that their views are not that of a silent majority of Seattlites but instead are an invading minority."

do you really believe that in seattle anyone thinks that these hate-filled, bigoted assholes represent any kind significant population? if this were someplace in georgia or alabama i might agree with you. even ultra-conservative right wingers would agree that seattle is one of the most gay friendly, tolerant cities in the country. it's one of the reasons wbc are here this weekend.

spend 45 minutes counter-protesting if you want but it's still my opinion that you're doing more to add credence to wbc's efforts than anything else. bullies only do what they do to get attention, to provoke and to get a rise out of you. and it turns out they succeeded.
Posted by zeebleoop on June 14, 2009 at 4:33 PM
Luke Baggins 42
To ignore the Phelps family and their signs is to deny oneself some of the best entertainment on the internet. Anyone who hasn't seen this documentary where a BBC reporter goes and lives with them needs to go watch it now.

If you're not entertained by their "Fags eat poop" sign, you need therapy.

And Violet, definitely don't murder any of them, they make conservatives uncomfortable. They are Jesusland's chickens roosting in the heart of flyover country.
Posted by Luke Baggins http://bodybuildingelf.blogspot.com on June 14, 2009 at 5:20 PM
43
@36 i tried reading that. more head scratching. whatever it is that fast food and hate have in common, its not coming together for me.
Posted by Montdidier on June 14, 2009 at 5:31 PM
very bad homo 44
Do they know that they don't make any sense to most of us?
Posted by very bad homo on June 14, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Lee 45
@42: Thanks for the video. That's a fantastic documentary.
Posted by Lee on June 14, 2009 at 7:00 PM
Michael of the Green 46
@42, Thanks for that video reference. I feel I have a better "grasp" on what they're up to (what a sad bunch), but I do wish that the reporter had been more aggressive in trying to ascertain the motivation of the group. Are they just "shouting from the mountaintops", or do they actually want to accomplish something from the pickets?

And then there's the matter of the hot bigot. Who is he (Loveschild?)? Clearly not a family member. Somebody must follow him. There's a clue hidden in the folds of his participation.
Posted by Michael of the Green on June 15, 2009 at 12:06 AM
47
Only in Seattle would a specimen like Jael be considered "hot" or "fuckable".

I guess maybe she really is hot and fuckable compared to most Seattle cows... ooops I mean women.
Posted by Seattle wimmenz are ugly and fat and butch dykes nshit on June 15, 2009 at 7:38 AM
48
I'm not super religous but doesnt christanity and the bible preach that God loves everyone?.. I guess reality and logic dont mean much to these people but are they really that stupid?...wait I just thought about that of course they are...

and on the hot guy thing I enjoy some strange and crazy at times but this guy(and Jayell) not so much. I dont think they are fuckable or hot, if you think so I would recommend LOTS of therapy
Posted by kashmiri.apple on June 15, 2009 at 9:30 AM
Geni 49
That is one supersized, extra-crispy bucket of crazy right there. One probably should not mock the mentally ill; it's vulgar. But, holy fuckme, God Hates You? God Hates this, God Hates that...I keep expecting them to start coming up with God Hates Frisbee or God Hates Hacky-Sack, things like that.

I think I need to make a sign that says God Hates Sign-Waving Cultist Nutsacks.
Posted by Geni on June 15, 2009 at 12:13 PM
50
intolerance like this is going only breed tolerance. so thank i say thank you to these most ugly horrible people. i can tolerate them no problem... they actually are funnier than borat bullshit. hahahahahahahahhahaa
Posted by tommy spokane on June 15, 2009 at 3:13 PM
51
intolerance like this seems to only breed tolerance. so i say thank you to these most ugly horrible people. i can tolerate them no problem... they actually are funnier than any borat bullshit. hahahahahahahahhahaa
Posted by tommy spokane on June 15, 2009 at 3:15 PM
platypusrex256 52
i made a video and posted it to youtube!

http://platypusrex256.blogspot.com
Posted by platypusrex256 http://platypusrex256.blogspot.com on June 18, 2009 at 12:06 PM
53
Good post! A lot of people I've spoken with have still never heard of this church and it's activities.
Besides the obvious negativity that this group spreads, the saddest thing is the kids that are involved in this church. They may never get to actually choose their own spiritual path. They've been totally brainwashed by this twisted 2 dimensional version of Christianity.

I wrote something up about the church as well and threw up a couple videos of them and a picture of a toddler holding a sign that says "you will eat you babies"
Ridiculous.......
http://doodiepants.com/2009/05/31/westbo…
Posted by Doodie on September 1, 2009 at 5:51 PM
54
They are warning you of God's coming wrath against YOU, but you are all too bible-illiterate to understand. When judgment falls, YOU will not be able to tell God that YOU didn't know.

Isaiah 6:10-13
The Lord said to me "Make the minds of these people dull, their ears deaf, and their eyes blind, so that they cannot see or hear or understand. If they did, they might turn to me and be healed." Then I said, "How long O Lord?" And He answered "Until the cities lie ruined and without inhabitant ... "
Posted by Gary on September 21, 2009 at 7:56 PM

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