Slog Music

Music, Nightlife,
and Drunks

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Every Child Deserves...

Posted by on Tue, Jun 30, 2009 at 7:11 AM


While Frank Lombard awaits his transfer to Washington, D.C., to face child sex charges, some Triangle dads worry that his alleged crimes could reflect poorly on their desire to raise a family.

Lombard, who is gay, is accused of inviting an undercover officer to have sex with his adopted 5-year-old son. In a search warrant for his home, investigators released a transcript of a Web chat between Lombard and Det. Timothy Palchak of the Washington Metropolitan Police Department. In it, Lombard invited Palchak, who he did not realize was a police detective, to fly to Durham to have sexual contact with the child.

Lombard told Palchak that he shared his home at 24 Indigo Creek Trail in Durham with a homosexual partner, but that partner did not know about his activities. Authorities have not arrested the partner, and do not suspect he was involved in any crimes.

Those who oppose adoptions by same-sex couples will point to this crime as proof that all gay people everywhere are unfit to parent. They'll claim that this crime tells us everything we need to know about gay parents. They'll insist that this case demonstrates why "every child deserves a mother and a father." The same people insist that incidents of child abuse perpetrated by heterosexual parents are isolated and tell us nothing about the general fitness of straight people to parent—and they're right. But the same applies to this incident: some people, gay and straight, are scum and shouldn't have kids, bio or adopted.

And... man. If this guy is guilty, I hope he goes to prison for the rest of his fucking life. And I hope the police caught him before his kid was abused. And, if his partner wasn't involved, my heart goes out to that guy. How awful.

UPDATE: More details are out now—and they're utterly horrifying.


Comments (67) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
As adoptions standards are loosened it will become easier and easier for predators to adopt children.
Posted by Don't Act Surprised on June 30, 2009 at 7:17 AM · Report this

Any happy news out there?

Posted by Fred34 on June 30, 2009 at 7:22 AM · Report this
How is allowing gay people to adopt "loosening"? If anything, not letting gay people adopt=more kids who need homes=more loose adoption practices (to straight people)=higher probability of scum adopting a child. Unless this is what you meant and you are just terrible at phrasing what you mean.
Posted by olechka on June 30, 2009 at 7:24 AM · Report this
Those who oppose religion point to crimes by church workers as proof that all religious people everywhere are unfit. They insist that these crime tell us everything we need to know about religious people.
Posted by Do You Know Anyone Like That, Dan? on June 30, 2009 at 7:29 AM · Report this
copious use of = does do wonders for ones phrasing...
Posted by reading comprehension FAIL on June 30, 2009 at 7:31 AM · Report this
Lately there has been an unusually high level of anti-Dan hostility. Whats up with that? Maybe not necessarily #4, since that was not quite a personal attack, but others. Maybe that means you are really getting famous, Dan? Like, they are reading slog just to bitch about you. I guess your message is getting across and making people uncomfortable. A good thing then perhaps...
Posted by olechka on June 30, 2009 at 7:33 AM · Report this
BombasticMO 7
I guess my heart would go out to the partner, but I find it hard to believe that he was that in the dark. How do you not notice? And was it their shared kid? Eugh.
Posted by BombasticMO on June 30, 2009 at 7:33 AM · Report this
Sorry for the = @ #5. Clearly the meaning being "therefore" is just too advanced a concept for you to grasp. That's ok. Don't be too sad.
Posted by olechka on June 30, 2009 at 7:35 AM · Report this
Yeah, that.
Or maybe people are catching on to what a bigoted hate-mongering deviant asshole Dan is.
But, yeah, probably that 'famous' thing.
Posted by New Poll Results In- Dan Worship Up All Over !!! yeah!!! on June 30, 2009 at 7:37 AM · Report this
from the linked article:

"He hopes the news of one person’s alleged crimes does not reflect on his family, or others who want to be parents."

let's hope the poor slob never reads Slog, eh...
Posted by Slog- Bigotry, Prejudice and Hatred 24/7 on June 30, 2009 at 7:40 AM · Report this
Do you read slog?
Dan's new 'admirers' are gay.
I guess his message is getting across;
and making a lot of gay people uncomfortable.
Posted by CaliHomo on June 30, 2009 at 7:42 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 12
@ 6, it's just one anonymous loser. He has no life. Pity him, whoever his is.
Posted by Matt from Denver on June 30, 2009 at 7:53 AM · Report this
@11 Thank you for a real response. I do read slog. Please tell me what specifically is making gay people uncomfortable about what he says? Is it because Dan is less than pc? Doesn't any civil rights movement need both those who want to "play nice" and "compromise" and those that just refuse to budge and take any shit? I feel like if you ask for a mile nicely, they'll give you 100 yards. You have to have someone angry enough to ask for the whole road rudely, then you maybe will get your mile. Sorry for the unfortunate metaphor... lack of sleep. Hope you get what I mean.
Posted by olechka on June 30, 2009 at 7:54 AM · Report this
So, Dan warns us we have to be careful not to judge all homosexuals based on the behavior of this excretion- but everyday on Slog we are treated to a cascade of anecdotal stories about heterosexual parents, church youth workers, "religious" people and pit bulls from which we are to conclude just what, again?
Posted by Animal Farm on June 30, 2009 at 7:56 AM · Report this
Dear olechka,

Set "unregistered" to off to avoid the "extra" pains in the butt.

Your pal,
Posted by Fred34 on June 30, 2009 at 7:57 AM · Report this
hi matt, back for another fix?
Posted by so how's your "life", sport? on June 30, 2009 at 7:58 AM · Report this
Done. =)
Posted by olechka on June 30, 2009 at 7:59 AM · Report this
Yeah, Dan. All our hearts are going out to the partner. He was the real victim here.
Posted by Clueless in Seattle on June 30, 2009 at 8:03 AM · Report this
I think it's unbelievable that they published their street address. That poor kid. My heart goes out to his partner as well, but seriously. Poor kid.
Posted by catherine_si on June 30, 2009 at 8:12 AM · Report this
NinjaJohnson 20
Yes, "Unregistered Off" makes all the difference in the world. Cheers!
Posted by NinjaJohnson on June 30, 2009 at 8:14 AM · Report this
Baconcat 21
Dan, you've probably got the resource to check this, but wasn't there a raft of studies about awareness of sexual crimes in couples that showed that for whatever reason, the partners are typically kept in the dark if they aren't participating and frequently mentally block out any discovery of such acts?

Or was that the working assumption in most of those cases?
Posted by Baconcat on June 30, 2009 at 8:22 AM · Report this
i wonder if their cps will be taking the kid out of the home permanently. I heart goes out to the child and the other partner who didn't that this was going on. Let's hope the kid doesn't have a rough upbringing and can fully recover from this.
Posted by apres_moi on June 30, 2009 at 8:23 AM · Report this
Holy crap... Unregistered off is the best thing about Slog.

And this story is awful.
Posted by Nick on June 30, 2009 at 8:29 AM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 24
Thanks, I'm finally going to try that "unregistered off" tab. Just clicked it and noticed an instant reduction in assholery.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on June 30, 2009 at 8:29 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 25
It's nice that they fixed the comment settings so that they don't need to be clicked every time. Suck it, anonymous twats!

To everyone who bemoans the "every child deserves a mother and a father" postings, this is exactly why someone needed to compile those stories. If Dan's predictions that incident will be held up as proof positive that gays can not and should not adopt or marry, we now have one hell of a rebuttal ready. Prejudices being what they are, this one incident will be damaging enough. But they won't be allowed to just peddle their bullshit unchallenged.
Posted by Matt from Denver on June 30, 2009 at 8:37 AM · Report this
Carollani 26
It's hard to be gay, but it's harder to be a kid with fucked up parents. Damn.
Posted by Carollani on June 30, 2009 at 8:44 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 27
Now if they could only figure out a way to keep the unregistered comments out of the RSS feed . . . Cuz that's the only way to read Slog.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on June 30, 2009 at 8:45 AM · Report this
"But they won't be allowed to just peddle their bullshit unchallenged."

that's what we're here for, sport...
Posted by Slog Police on June 30, 2009 at 8:45 AM · Report this
if it weren't for whining about trolls and the intricacies of registration we'd have nothing to talk about at all...
Posted by Clueless in Seattle on June 30, 2009 at 8:48 AM · Report this
I think we should start a collection for the partner.
Poor guy...
Posted by Clueless in Seattle on June 30, 2009 at 8:53 AM · Report this
CodyBolt 31
Actually Troll's in the past Dan has said he would post any bad behavior he found by gay adopted parents to the EDAMAF posts and he did... Stop whining like retards if you had been around for more then half a day you would know how retarded you look.
Posted by CodyBolt on June 30, 2009 at 8:55 AM · Report this
Zoroastronomer 32
Fred34 FTW! Thank you!!
Posted by Zoroastronomer on June 30, 2009 at 9:01 AM · Report this
@14: The whole point is that you can't assume things about people just because they are a member of a group. You can't assume somebody's not a pervert because they are a youth pastor. You can't assume somebody's a good parent because they have a straight marriage.

I don't think Dan's ever implied that all children with straight parents get molested, has he? It'd be news to me.
Posted by doceb on June 30, 2009 at 9:09 AM · Report this
I would like someone talented to write a song praising "unregistered off" so I can sing it now and then. The unregistered crueltybots were draggin' me down something fierce. What a lovely curing button.
Posted by gloomy gus on June 30, 2009 at 9:10 AM · Report this
I know that I will get a lot of slack for this, but I should get a bit of a pass since I am a gay liberal. I am concerned with what is best for kids. I am glad that I was raised by a father and mother. In a perfect world that is best. We don't live in a perfect world, so I support gay parenting. Here is where I might get slack. I wonder what the statistics are for same sex couples adopting in regards to the prefered sex of the child. Are gay men seeking to adopt a child, for example, more likely to request adopting a boy? If me and my partner (we are men) were to adopt, I would request a girl just remove all doubt. I have a hunting suspecion though that I am in a minority.
Posted by Geoffrey on June 30, 2009 at 9:15 AM · Report this
kim in portland 36
This is so sad, poor kid.
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 9:17 AM · Report this
When I read this story on Sunday I instantly though 'oh crap, this fuckwit is going to call every gay persons parenting capabilities into question (including mine)'.

I think that if the gay parenting angle of this story gets bigger Dan should start an independent site for 'Every Child Deserves..' so that those with little knowledge of the statistics can read the actual reality.

My heart goes out to the kids in this case. The only solace is that the prison system has a particular disdain for child sex offenders.
Posted by Donutspal on June 30, 2009 at 9:17 AM · Report this
Dear Geoffrey@35,

Don't adopt. If your concern about doubt from outsiders is greater than your desire to care for, love, and protect a child, any child, parenting is not for you. I don't tell you that as a gay person, I tell you that as a parent.
Posted by Donutspal on June 30, 2009 at 9:21 AM · Report this
What is the "actual reality"?
Posted by Do Tell on June 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM · Report this
kim in portland 40

Here's what I could find to answer your question. It's focus is on maternal nooffenders.

Data were collected on a sample of 435 biological, nonoffending mothers of sexually abused children who were referred to a CPS Sexual Abuse Unit between 1989 and 1995. Descriptive statistics and logistic regression were used to identify the proportion and the predictors of maternal belief and protective action. Four criteria were used in selecting the mothers for the study:

The mother resided with her sexually abused child at the time of disclosure
The CPS sexual abuse investigation was substantiated
Risk assessment by the caseworker indicated that the case was at moderate, significant or high risk of recurrence
The child sexual abuse was intrafamilial (defined as any sexual molestation or exploitation of a person younger than age 18 perpetrated by a parent, relative, or household of family member).
The results showed that 42 percent of mothers both believed and took protective action toward their sexually abused children. Thirteen percent responded they believed but did not protect their children, 14 percent took protective action but did not believe their children, and 31 percent neither believed nor protected their children.

Four predictors (three maternal and one child) were shown to be significant for maternal belief and protective action. Mothers who gave birth to their first child as an adult were 3.2 times more likely to believe and protect. Mothers who were not in a sexual relationship with the offender were 2.8 times more likely to believe and protect. Mothers who had knowledge of the sexual abuse before the initial CPS report were 5.8 times less likely to believe and take protective action. And mothers whose victimized children did not exhibit sexualized behavior were 2.2 times more likely to believe and protect.

The researchers' write-up of the study, "Intrafamilial Child Sexual Abuse: Predictors of Postdisclosure Maternal Belief and Protective Action," was named the APSAC Dissertation of the Year. It was published in the November 2001 issue of Child Maltreatment.…
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM · Report this
I am way to old to adopt and wouldn't want to anyway
Posted by Geoffrey on June 30, 2009 at 9:27 AM · Report this
kim in portland 42
rewind @ 41:

non offenders
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 9:29 AM · Report this
kim in portland 43
double rewind:

42 is a rewind of 40.

I need to go eat.
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 9:30 AM · Report this
NinjaJohnson 44
Gloomy Gus: I can't write a song for you to sing, but I'd like to express my deep affection as well, and I am a haiku machine.

Posted by NinjaJohnson on June 30, 2009 at 9:39 AM · Report this
the true trolls on slog are the ass-kissing fanboys who fall over themselves to catch Dan's eye

Posted by Barf Bag on June 30, 2009 at 10:13 AM · Report this
Thanks NJ - I'm doing a Gregorian-chant type of tune with your poem. Very nice!
Posted by gloomy gus on June 30, 2009 at 10:18 AM · Report this
@14: Those posts (Youth Pastor; Mother/Father) are for the benefit of the close-minded, rightwing idiots who hold up Christianity and heterosexuality as the bastions of morality, purity and "rightness."

While most of those people probably don't read Slog, this is the forum Dan has access to to be able to state the case that the close-minded rightwing Christians can get off their high horses.

It's called redressing the balance.

The pitbulls are just evil.
Posted by Zachary Fantastico on June 30, 2009 at 10:45 AM · Report this
Loveschild 48
Kudos to Mr Savage for posting this story, I was wondering if he would, but why didn't he post a mugshot of the monster? As he usually does in other posts.

Concerning his claim that this could have happened regardless of whether a mother and a father had been the ones raising this kid, I disagree. In the vast majority of times usually the presence of a woman will deter this sort of criminal behavior, because there will be a balance in the household. Granted there have been isolated freak cases were that has not been the case but most parents wouldn't commit this savagery against their children. When one has carried a life in one's body, have gone through labor and the husband has been there interacting with his progeny even before childbirth, the stakes and love do not permit for this types of aberrations. That's why we have to strive to reduce adoptions, encourage the traditional family so that kids are raised in a household where they have a real biological connection with their family, in turn monstrous cases like this one will be fewer, more isolated and more importantly they can be prevented by knowing the types on environment that are conducive for their happening.
Posted by Loveschild on June 30, 2009 at 10:54 AM · Report this
Dan KNOWS not all hetero parents are horrible, evil, abusive monsters. He was raised by hetero parents and his siblings are all hetero, some (all?) of them parents. I think this was more a case of acknowledging what he straight up said: there's scum in every group. He wouldn't ignore it (that would be too Republican).

I really hope this guy got caught before the child got hurt, and that one of her parents will be able to take care of and love her the right way.
Posted by blah on June 30, 2009 at 10:56 AM · Report this
Posted by hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah on June 30, 2009 at 11:10 AM · Report this
Loveschild you should be aware that your trying too hard to insight drama in a lot of your posts lately. I felt like the character that you invented (you know, the one you claim to be) was more believable and held more relevance when you used to stick closer to the talking points of a specific topic.

I if I was your acting coach I'd tell you to say less, but emote more. You're losing your audience.
Posted by Donutspal on June 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM · Report this
Harry Lime 52
Too shocking for fucking words. He wasn't some inbred illiterate white trash trailer park meth junkie either, but unfuckingbelievably the associate director of the Center for Health Policy at Duke University. His adopted child was African-American, and had been sexually abused since infancy. Sickening beyond belief:…
Posted by Harry Lime on June 30, 2009 at 11:36 AM · Report this
kim in portland 53
Isolated freak cases?

In 2007, federal data showed 10.6% of Americas total 71 million children were reported abused.

That's ~700,000 children. In my opinion that's number doesn't suggest "isolated freak cases", Loveschild. Those numbers suggest a big problem, and if this recession follows the trend of pervious recessions, the percentage is going to increase. First quarter numbers for 2009, indicate precisely that.…

Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 11:50 AM · Report this
10% of 71 million would be 7 million (7,000,000)
Posted by Does math Count? (hahaha! get it? "count"!) on June 30, 2009 at 12:08 PM · Report this
If this guy had been allowed to marry his partner this would have never happened.
Posted by Right,Dan? Isn't that Right? Isn't that what you always say? on June 30, 2009 at 12:11 PM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 56
48, So Loveschild what do you make of this?

Child abuse and neglect cases disproportionately involve children of color, particularly African American/Black children, both in the Bay Area and statewide.…
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on June 30, 2009 at 12:34 PM · Report this
kim in portland 57

Thank you. I made a typo.
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 12:37 PM · Report this
stevema14420 58
I think it's good tbat the known child molestor Michael Jackson is now dead. Hopefully his kids weren't molested because they hadn't reached his desired age of 13.
Posted by stevema14420 on June 30, 2009 at 1:09 PM · Report this
What we make of it is that you are a racist asshole.
You've got the Southern Good Ol' Boy pie face and crew cut to carry it off.
How old are you, Rube?
Does David Duke have a secret LoveChild?
Posted by Racist Love to hide behind "Statistics"... on June 30, 2009 at 1:35 PM · Report this
Keith Smith 60
Pray that the 5 year-old child receives the love and support he will need to grow up strong and live in peace.

My name is Keith Smith. I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn't a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet suburbs of Lincoln, Rhode Island.

I was able to identify the guy and the car he was driving. He was arrested and indicted but never went to trial. His trial never took place because he was brutally beaten to death in Providence before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.

In the time between the night of my assault and the night he was murdered, I lived in fear. I was afraid he was still around town. Afraid he was looking for me. Afraid he would track me down and kill me. The fear didn’t go away when he was murdered. Although he was no longer a threat, the simple life and innocence of a 14-year-old boy was gone forever. Carefree childhood thoughts replaced with the unrelenting realization that my world wasn’t a safe place. My peace shattered by a horrific criminal act of sexual violence.

Over the past 34 years, I’ve been haunted by horrible, recurring memories of what he did to me. He visits me in my sleep. There have been dreams–nightmares actually–dozens of them, sweat inducing, yelling-in-my-sleep nightmares filled with images and emotions as real as they were when it actually happened. It doesn’t get easier over time. Long dead, he still visits me, silently sneaking up from out of nowhere when I least expect it. From the grave, he sits by my side on the couch every time the evening news reports a child abduction or sex crime. I don’t watch America’s Most Wanted or Law and Order SVU, because the stories are a catalyst, triggering long suppressed emotions, feelings, memories, fear and horror. Real life horror stories rip painful suppressed memories out from where they hide, from that recessed place in my brain that stores dark, dangerous, horrible memories. It happened when William Bonin confessed to abducting, raping and murdering 14 boys in California; when Jesse Timmendequas raped and murdered Megan Kanka in New Jersey; when Ben Ownby, missing for four days, and Shawn Hornbeck, missing for four years, were recovered in Missouri.

Despite what happened that night and the constant reminders that continue to haunt me years later, I wouldn’t change what happened. The animal that attacked me was a serial predator, a violent pedophile trolling my neighborhood in Lincoln, Rhode Island looking for young boys. He beat me, raped me, and I stayed alive. I lived to see him arrested, indicted and murdered. It might not have turned out this way if he had grabbed one of my friends or another kid from my neighborhood. Perhaps he’d still be alive. Perhaps there would be dozens of more victims and perhaps he would have progressed to the point of silencing his victims by murdering them.

Out of fear, shame and guilt, I’ve been silent for over three decades, not sharing with anyone the story of what happened to me. No more. The silence has to end. What happened to me wasn't my fault. The fear, the shame, the guilt have to go. It’s time to stop keeping this secret from the people closest to me, people I care about, people I love, my long-time friends and my family. It’s time to speak out to raise public awareness of male sexual assault, to let other survivors know that they’re not alone and to help survivors of rape and violent crime understand that the emotion, fear and memories that may still haunt them are not uncommon to those of us who have shared a similar experience.

My novel, Men in My Town, was inspired by these actual events. Men in My Town is available now at

For those who suffer in silence, I hope my story brings some comfort, strength, peace and hope.

For additional information, please visit the Men in My Town blog at

Posted by Keith Smith on June 30, 2009 at 1:48 PM · Report this
kim in portland 61
Keith @ 60,

Thanks for sharing.

I wish you peace.
Posted by kim in portland on June 30, 2009 at 2:36 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 62
Loveschild the coward won't answer Kim or Rob. Typical.
Posted by Matt from Denver on June 30, 2009 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Loveschild 63
60 You're a very brave man, I know you're no longer a victim but a survivor and as such that speaks volumes about you. That monster did not win.

Just make sure in whatever way that you can that what happened to you is no longer visited upon another minor, you already did by taking that mental note amongst the horror you were experiencing, keep on doing it now in anyway you deem appropriate as an adult. You are a hero Mr Smith, never forget it.
Posted by Loveschild on June 30, 2009 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Uriel-238 64
DYKALTD @4, you so nailed it, if you only completed the thought.

Dan's not saying religious folks are unfit [to have children, adopt children, raise children, whatever] but is noting that they are no more fit than gays which is one of the common neocon arguments against state recognition of gay marriages.

Frankly, it's rather sporting of Dan to note that even gays can be jerks sometimes, but just as abusive families are exceptions amongst the devout, so they are amongst gays.

This is a problem here in the US, partially a product of the cold war, and partially a product of marketing and campaigning techniques used in the 21st century, that some believe fallaciously that the US is a better country than all others, or that a religious lifestyle is better than a secular one, or that a child raised by his or her biological parents is advantaged over one who isn't, just because, as if saying so over and over and over again makes these thoughts true.
Posted by Uriel-238 on June 30, 2009 at 6:21 PM · Report this
yucca flower 65
@ 60,

Keith Smith, I hope you find your book cathartic, but your situation is not common. Out of the approx. 800,000 children that are abducted each year, 3,200-4,600 are stranger abductions & the victims are taken for a short time, usually abused in some way, and then returned. (Like in your own case.) However, the number of children which are abducted by strangers and never returned is believed to be 2-300 per year...out of 800,000 kidnappings! The most common victim of abduction and exploitation (and murder) is an 11 year old girl with a stable family relationship, who is taken within 3/4 of a mile from her own home.

Like the child in the article, most children (85%) are not abused by strangers. They are abused by relatives, family friends, youth worker, and yes--religious leaders.
Posted by yucca flower on June 30, 2009 at 6:41 PM · Report this
Uriel-238 66
To clarify, the argument against state recognition of gay marriage to which I was referring is that families headed by gay couples are inferior (when it comes to raising children) to families led by het couples, or more carelessly, to families led by the biological parents of the children in question.

But this argument, while used often in the media by groups such as NOM or Focus On The Family, isn't backed by statistical data.
Posted by Uriel-238 on June 30, 2009 at 6:50 PM · Report this
Why do people do this kind of stuff? I will never understand ...
Posted by la_bonita on July 1, 2009 at 1:19 PM · Report this

Add a comment


Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy