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News & ArtsTuesday, July 14, 2009
Crime The Babysitter
Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Jul 14, 2009 at 7:54 PM
A 28-year-old woman is accused of having sex with the 14-year-old boy she was hired to watch. Prime News reports.
I think the male reporter in the video, Mike Galanos, is putting on a big show. His disgust at the crime is not real but theatrical. If the victim were a girl, his disgust would be authentic and direct, but seeing it is a boy, he has to give a performance of disgust.
Most fathers are not pleased with this sort of thing either way, but their root feeling is that it's better it happens to the son than to the daughter. If a woman seduces a teen, it is hard for us to completely separate it from the motherly; if a man does the same, we totally fail to see anything fatherly about it. It might all come down to breastfeeding, down to women not having attached to them the hard sign of exploitation. Because of motherly (and ultimately socialist or civilized) attributes (breastfeeding, pregnancy), a confusion occurs: the sexual act has the aspect not of a robbery but a gift. Men do not birth or feed anything with their bodies, they are barren; and this results in the opposite sign being pinned on them: total takers. The woman gives; the man takes. That, at the level of signs, but not at the level of actuality, is the expected reading of this sort of thing.
Still, a crime was committed and it shall be punished.
1
Should be "in terms of signs." A typo.
I did not watch the video, but can easily imagine what it must be.
I did not watch the video, but can easily imagine what it must be.
3
The 14 year old was the oldest child. She was probably hired to watch his younger siblings. Sure, the parents could've had the boy babysit his siblings - but not all 14 year olds are responsible enough to do that (and younger siblings often won't listen to their older siblings. I sure wouldn't have!).
4
And I don't think the double standard here (older woman and young boy vs older man and young girl) has anything to do with breastfeeding. It seems pretty straight forward to me: we assume that teenage boys always want sex and don't have a sacredness about their body / virginity that women are presumed to.
On average, they're right. Girls are taught to prize their virginity. So when an older man is able to convince them to do sexual things, the girls often wind up being traumatized. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to basically taught to have as much sex as possible. (This is, of course, just a generalization - many girls don't care about their virginity and many boys do.)
That being said - sexual assault of this nature can have a very negative impact on a boy, even a seemingly eager boy. It warps their perception of relationships by getting into such an unequal relationship so early.
On average, they're right. Girls are taught to prize their virginity. So when an older man is able to convince them to do sexual things, the girls often wind up being traumatized. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to basically taught to have as much sex as possible. (This is, of course, just a generalization - many girls don't care about their virginity and many boys do.)
That being said - sexual assault of this nature can have a very negative impact on a boy, even a seemingly eager boy. It warps their perception of relationships by getting into such an unequal relationship so early.
5
Oh dear, I go away for a few weeks, only to return and find Charles obsessed with the baby sitter.
It's good to know that some things never change.....
It's good to know that some things never change.....
6
Just a point on the "journalism" in that CNN clip:
1. They've had a relationship from 2007 to now.
2. In 2007, he was 14 and she was 28.
3. The author featured referred to her as a hepaphile (sp?), someone that is sexually aroused by individuals between the ages of 11-14.
4. The author also mentions that there "must also be some psychopathology" because she asked for the mothers blessing of the relationship.
Now, I don't condone pedophilia OR bad journalism. The pedophelia is addressed already. As far as the bad journalism: Why would she be considered specifically a "hepaphile" if she's now involved with someone who is 16, and especially when she is invested enough to ask for the mothers blessing to continue? Perhaps this is where the psychopathology come in? Perhaps she's a Hepaphile who isn't familiar with the process of aging. On top of all that, the story fails to mention that in some US states, Canadian provinces, and elsewhere in the world, 16 is a legal age to marry. I think the age is right?
Charles Mudede got it right on the fake outrage. It's a crime and I can't imagine this was healthy for the young man, but totally not being examined in a sane way whatsoever on "the news."
1. They've had a relationship from 2007 to now.
2. In 2007, he was 14 and she was 28.
3. The author featured referred to her as a hepaphile (sp?), someone that is sexually aroused by individuals between the ages of 11-14.
4. The author also mentions that there "must also be some psychopathology" because she asked for the mothers blessing of the relationship.
Now, I don't condone pedophilia OR bad journalism. The pedophelia is addressed already. As far as the bad journalism: Why would she be considered specifically a "hepaphile" if she's now involved with someone who is 16, and especially when she is invested enough to ask for the mothers blessing to continue? Perhaps this is where the psychopathology come in? Perhaps she's a Hepaphile who isn't familiar with the process of aging. On top of all that, the story fails to mention that in some US states, Canadian provinces, and elsewhere in the world, 16 is a legal age to marry. I think the age is right?
Charles Mudede got it right on the fake outrage. It's a crime and I can't imagine this was healthy for the young man, but totally not being examined in a sane way whatsoever on "the news."
8
my favorite part is when he says, "She's behind bars -- good." he just had to add that "good" to make sure we really know that he really, really does think this was a terrible crime...
9
I don't know that I buy the breast feeding explanation, but our society still does view sex as something men take and women give, with the assumption that women can't/don't enjoy it. So that definitely informs how people view abuse of this nature. Plus you have the female virginity fetish that Gayle points out and the cult of masculinity that doesn't allow men or boys to be vulnerable.
10
That reading is pretty accurate, but definitely not in the ideal way. Unfortunately, our so-called 'progressive' society has been unable to get beyond the well-entrenched Christianized gender roles. It all breaks down into the failure of our society at achieving any semblence of Utopia because humans are still animals who can't put the good of the world/race/nation/state/community above their small relationship systems. Sex and children are too important to people.
11
That's a swell story you've spun, Charles. Now how would one go about determining its truth? What kinda experiment could we formulate to determine if it's the case? SHENANIGANS!
13
if the underage party is post pubescent, it is not clinically pedophilia. Is it pedophilia when men want to bone a 15 year old miley cyrus? no, because she looks like a sexually mature female. there is a distinction of hebephilia, which refers to pubescent individuals, but it is by developmental stage, *not* be age. aka, attraction to 'nymphets,' humbert humbert style. if women have sex with sexually mature 14 year old males (and they didn't show a picture, so i have no idea about this story) it *isn't pedophila.*
14
@13, dead on. And as a heterosexual man, I can't imagine that I would have been harmed by sex with an older woman at 14. The problem is, that suggests that 14 year old girls aren't harmed by sex with older men and I really don't want to go there.
15
I have no doubt that for many thousands of years this was hardly ever an issue. What if she had gotten pregnant? That's a currently appropriate question. What if she had given him a disease? Another appropriate question. But I think we criminalize and condemn more than we should. People are people. That's why this happens so often.
16
@14- the fact that it's not pedophila for an individual to be sexually attracted to a physically mature 14 year old doesn't mean it's not harmful if sex happens. i personally think some 14 year old boys would be harmed, many 14 year old girls would be harmed, and that 14 in general is a bit young to give meaningful consent to sex. but it does drive me crazy to hear the defendants in these cases get called pedophiles- they aren't if the kids are post pubescent. if she fucked a boy that looked like alfie-the-not-baby-daddy, then yes, pedo. but like, letournaux or however it's spelled? wasn't he like 6'2 or something? not pedo.
17
There are many things wrong with this story, the least of which is sex between a 28 year old and a 14 year old. Saying definitively that she's aroused by 11-14 year olds is bad on the part of the CNN "expert" because shes done no analysis of the person in question. Secondly, saying that "I'm glad we caught this when we did" is also very accusatory from a person that should be unbiased (as a psychologist). The fact that the first thing this woman went to was wanting to medicate and treat this person is a bad saying all around on this country as a whole.
19
You can't ignore facts in order to rationalize your "signs," which are completely meaningless to everyone but yourself without any sort of basis in reality. I admire that you're trying to admit that your articles are not necessarily factual, which is fine in and of itself, but you can't pick and choose logic to fit your pre-ordaned conclusions, even if you admit that's what you're doing.
But on the other hand....Thanks Charles, for keeping things lively.
But on the other hand....Thanks Charles, for keeping things lively.
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