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News & ArtsTuesday, September 8, 2009
Science King Rat
Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Sep 8, 2009 at 8:59 AM
Never, never, never let that thing leave that island:
Scientists have discovered a new species of giant rat in a remote rainforest in Papua New Guinea. Measuring 82 centimeters (32.2 inches) from nose to tail and weighing around 1.5 kilograms (3.3 pounds), the species is thought to be one of the largest rats ever to be found. The discovery was made by a team from the BBC Natural History Unit inside the crater of Mount Bosavi—an extinct volcano in the Southern Highlands province of Papua New Guinea.... "It's a true rat, the same kind you find in the city sewers," said Kristofer Helgen, a biologist from the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History.
Isn't Papua New Guinea the place where human women are in the habit of breastfeeding baby pigs? And now we are hearing about this rat monster that thrives in the crater of a dead volcano. Something is wrong with that part of the world.
7
Wait, is there a guy in a lab coat with a German accent assuring people that they're, "Quite harmless, really,"? If there is, someone knock the dust off Sean Connery, 'cause we're about to need him.
8
Charles, did you know that Capybaras are members of the rodent family as well? They're the largest living rodents in the world.
9
Somewhere in Papua New Guinea:
"Hey did you hear they just discovered a new kind of reality TV in America? Real housewives of something something..."
"America? Isn't that the same place where human beings are in the habit of carrying around little dogs like babies and cleaning up their shit? And now we are hearing about these 'real housewives' whose lives of vast wealth and leisure are wastefully spent purchasing apparel and complaining?"
"Hang on now, don't believe everything you hear, I'm sure they're not all like that."
"Yes, those who are not are 50lbs overweight and spend four hours a day sitting in front of the TV watching those who are."
"Hmm, the couple of hours per day that I'm sitting is mostly spent breastfeeding my pig."
"Well, at least at the end you will have something to show for it."
"Indeed. Something is wrong with that part of the world..."
"Hey did you hear they just discovered a new kind of reality TV in America? Real housewives of something something..."
"America? Isn't that the same place where human beings are in the habit of carrying around little dogs like babies and cleaning up their shit? And now we are hearing about these 'real housewives' whose lives of vast wealth and leisure are wastefully spent purchasing apparel and complaining?"
"Hang on now, don't believe everything you hear, I'm sure they're not all like that."
"Yes, those who are not are 50lbs overweight and spend four hours a day sitting in front of the TV watching those who are."
"Hmm, the couple of hours per day that I'm sitting is mostly spent breastfeeding my pig."
"Well, at least at the end you will have something to show for it."
"Indeed. Something is wrong with that part of the world..."
11
Actually Charles, there is something seriously wrong with you rejecting the wonders of the natural world beyond tits and ass.
This kind of "everything that makes me uncomfortable is wrong" thinking is why we have an f'n global warming problem. AAAAHHH, the stupid.. It hurts!!
This kind of "everything that makes me uncomfortable is wrong" thinking is why we have an f'n global warming problem. AAAAHHH, the stupid.. It hurts!!
12
There must be a way we can exploit these things.
Maybe they could replace turkeys at Thanks Giving.
Maybe they could replace turkeys at Thanks Giving.
13
MUDEDE YOUR REACTION IS SO PREDICTABLE.
What about "isn't Mother Nature COOL? Isn't Evolution amazing? Isn't our home Earth just incredible in the way it can produce all manner of wonders?"
This rat comes along with a lot of other new treasures that the expedition discovered.
And it is HUMANS that corrupt rats into something that we think of as disgusting. It is the urban (humanized) rat that is creepy - not this rainforest creature.
What about "isn't Mother Nature COOL? Isn't Evolution amazing? Isn't our home Earth just incredible in the way it can produce all manner of wonders?"
This rat comes along with a lot of other new treasures that the expedition discovered.
And it is HUMANS that corrupt rats into something that we think of as disgusting. It is the urban (humanized) rat that is creepy - not this rainforest creature.
15
So far away, Charles, and not very big compared to... oh, I wouldn't leave town if I were you. The sasquatch is out there.
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