NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Despite rumors circulating to the contrary, the Five Point is not closed—yet uncertainties linger about the fate of one of the best dive bars in the world. The Five Point's motto, as spelled in neon in the window, is "WE CHEAT TOURISTS-N-DRUNKS SINCE 1929."

Two unrelated Slog tippers reported yesterday they'd heard the bar was going to shut down today. One of them went there yesterday afternoon to ascertain whether it was indeed closing; he writes via email, "I got confirmation that there are indeed new owners, but they (employees) had had only been told they may not be reporting to work today. Last I heard from an employee is that they are having a meeting today with the official word."

Another rumor has it that a local club promoter may be the new owner.

I went to the Five Point last night to see what the hell's going on. One worker, when asked if they're closing, said they weren't. When pressed, he said, "Just keep coming over the next few days," then allowed that they might be closing for a couple weeks for remodeling. When asked, "REMODELING?! The FIVE POINT?!" he said, "Nothing major, just the floors and stuff," and again, "Keep coming over the next few days."

A gentleman at the bar said he heard there was a fight going on among the owners, which could not be confirmed.

Asked what was going on, another worker said only, "Oh man, so much bullshit."

A woman who was conferring with various barkeeps behind the bar and having hushed conversations out on the sidewalk confirmed she was an owner; she identified herself as Vicky. She said, "The Five Point is open and it's going to stay open. Keep coming."

Asked if she knew how the rumors had gotten started, she said, "No idea. You live in the same world I do." (Do I? Because in the world I live in, that doesn't make any sense as an answer to that question.)

No new or updated liquor license application is on file. At the moment (and last night), the telephone at the Five Point just rings and rings; the good people of neighboring Tilikum Place Cafe say right now, the Five Point is open.

Don't go changing, Five Point, and PLEASE DON'T CLOSE! WE LOVE YOU!