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Monday, October 5, 2009

The End of the World is Coming....

Posted by on Mon, Oct 5, 2009 at 10:32 AM

...to a theater near you.

For those who like their post-apocalyptic cinema stupid and kaboom-y, there's Michael Bay Roland Emmerich's forthcoming 2012:

And for those who prefer the bleak and bookish, there's John Hillcoat's forthcoming The Road:



I prefer my end-of-the-world entertainments to be verbose and ironic.

 

Comments (43) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
2012 is Emmerich, not Bay. Get your hacks straight.
Posted by Hack on October 5, 2009 at 10:42 AM
2
Stupid and kaboom-y, please. I demand a spectacular apocalypse. A spectacolypse, if you will. Climaxing with a show-stopping musical number.
Posted by Jazz Hand of Doom on October 5, 2009 at 10:43 AM
3
I so much want for The Road to be good; I just reread the incredible book last week and it's hard to imagine asking audiences to sit through something so bleak (assuming Hillcoat did the book justice at all).

I can't believe producers keep throwing money at that guy responsible for excreting ID4, Stargate, Godzilla and Day After Tomorrow.
Posted by Peter F on October 5, 2009 at 10:47 AM
4
i saw the trailer for 2012 last night and was commenting how it looked exactly like the trailer for the day after tomorrow. and it turns out it is directed by the same person. (emmerich, #1 is correct). go go making the same movie twice!
Posted by Reverend on October 5, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Joe Szilagyi 5
I feel so dirty that I look forward to every Emmerich film.

Its like he ups the destruction ante in every film:

Independence Day destroyed the major cities.
Godzilla destroyed a cultural and national icon.
The Patriot destroyed United States history.
The Day After Tomorrow destroyed the northern hemisphere.
10,000 BC destroyed my faith in humanity.
2012 destroys nearly everything, apparently.

I expect his next film after this will be simply opening credits followed by the planet Earth exploding like Krypton for 20 minutes of the BEST FUCKING CGI OF ALL TIME EVER THAT COST $500,000,000 dollars, followed by the closing credits
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.joeszilagyi.com on October 5, 2009 at 10:49 AM
6
The 2012 trailer made me think of Robot Chicken's take on Michael Bay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRS90V8BQ…
Posted by Senor Guy on October 5, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Joe Szilagyi 7
@3 Hey now, Stargate and ID4 were made of Win with a capital W. We get the only viable long-term competitor to Star Trek out of one, and ID4 has one of the great sci-fi action movie lines/sequences of ALL TIME.

"Is that glass bullet proof?"
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.joeszilagyi.com on October 5, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Fnarf 8
The preview of 2012 is hilarious. I loved it when they show buildings, hundreds of them, toppling over sideways, like trees (a different preview, on TV, showed more of this "effect". With no dust, so you can see them really clearly. It's got to be the most ambitious, and thus worst, CGI of all time. If this gets any Oscar mention for special effects I will howl with laughter. And Jon Cusack appears to be trying out for a competition for the stupidest human who ever lived -- jealous of Nic Cage, perhaps? Shit music, too.

Oh, and the Maya were not "Earth's earliest civilization", nor did they in any way predict the end of the world.

Death to Hollywood.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 5, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Heather 9
Doomsday predictions are a dime a dozen.
http://www.abhota.info/end1.htm

The 2012 nonsense began when the doomsday industry stopped making money on Y2K. Look for them to suck another date out of thin air as 2012 gets closer.

As for 2012 the ancient Mayan People couldn't even predict their own collapse.
http://www.skepdic.com/maya.html

Galactic alingment hoax http://www.dailycommonsense.com/2012-gal…

Planet X Nibiru Hoax
http://astrobiology.nasa.gov/ask-an-astr…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJjQMwEjC…

Posted by Heather on October 5, 2009 at 10:52 AM
10
Is this 2012 movie based on the Whitney Strieber book? Because then it might have a bit of a chance, in an entertainment sense.
Posted by SeaExile on October 5, 2009 at 10:58 AM
11
*Whitley Strieber. Agh.
Posted by SeaExile on October 5, 2009 at 11:00 AM
Fnarf 12
It shows the dome of St. Peter's toppling over, intact, and ROLLING over the assembled multitudes. This really could be the worst movie ever made. Move over, Ishtar and Waterworld. I hope it bankrupts Sony.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on October 5, 2009 at 11:00 AM
COMTE 13
@5:

Basically, what I'm envisioning is Emmerich doing a remake of "When World's Collide", only we get to see the worlds actually collide.
Posted by COMTE http://www.chriscomte.com on October 5, 2009 at 11:07 AM
David Schmader 14
Hello and whoops, yes, it's Emmerich, and I see now that the media reports naming Bay as would-be director are from 2007...Anyway, fixed, and Fnarf's enthusiasm has proven contagious....I can't wait for 2012....
Posted by David Schmader on October 5, 2009 at 11:07 AM
Joe Szilagyi 15
@13 Emmerich wouldn't make a pussy move like physical worlds colliding.

It's galaxies or nothing.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://www.joeszilagyi.com on October 5, 2009 at 11:17 AM
Max Solomon 16
pass on both.
Posted by Max Solomon on October 5, 2009 at 11:21 AM
julie russell 17
2012: ALSO the best song on the latest by the Gossip..I'd post the link, but I 'm a tard and can't post a link to save my life
Posted by julie russell http:// on October 5, 2009 at 11:21 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 18
The end of the world in 2012, eh? Does that mean no second term for Obama?
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on October 5, 2009 at 11:29 AM
19
@7, not even Spader and Russell could save Stargate; I've never been bored enough to try watching one of those awful looking spinoff series, nor do I recognize any Trek series outside the original as canon. ID4 was possibly the best of that lot of hackery, if you took it as tongue in cheek over the top self parody, though more irritating than amusing. I have no defense for why I paid to see Day After Tomorrow in theaters after those other two movies; I wasn't even all that drunk. Day After Tomorrow was like having the director blasting hot beer & chili farts in my face for two hours.

Posted by Peter F on October 5, 2009 at 11:33 AM
20
Movies like 2012 are why nothing at all is going to happen in three years.

What a letdown.
Posted by Flaminica on October 5, 2009 at 11:38 AM
21
Can I like all three End of the World types? Is that allowed?
Posted by Lilting Missive on October 5, 2009 at 11:43 AM
22
The director of the first one needs to take a course on "How Things Fall Apart."
Posted by NapoleonXIV on October 5, 2009 at 11:44 AM
Jason Josephes 23
Maybe Cusack fends off the apocalypse by appeasing the Mayan gods with a boombox serenade.
Posted by Jason Josephes http://www.myspace.com/bluemoonseattle on October 5, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Cato the Younger Younger 24
I think there should be an end of the world movie that ends like this:

1. Earth blows up into micoroscopic pieces of space dust

2. The sun novas (or goes nova, I can't recall the correct usage)

3. The center of the Milky way collapes into itself in a nano-second (yeah impossible but it's my movie)

4. One second after #3 happens the entire universe collapses back into itself in less than 4 seconds.

The End
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on October 5, 2009 at 11:48 AM
Original Andrew 25
Apocalypses are so 1999.
Posted by Original Andrew on October 5, 2009 at 11:49 AM
26
On the small screen, the 2012 trailer looks so CGI cartoony and fake. And why on Earth didn't they take off over the Pacific ocean like all planes do in LA?
Posted by Loonesta on October 5, 2009 at 11:56 AM
Will in Seattle 27
On the other hand, if it hadn't of been for Godzilla, a lot of young Japanese women would never have chosen to become biochemists or genetic scientists, and I for one am glad for that.

2012 looks like a cool and totally ridiculous thrill ride. I'll have fun watching it in 3D.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on October 5, 2009 at 12:02 PM
28
Mmmmm. Apocolyptic destruction porn.
Posted by An AAGM on October 5, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Bauhaus I 29
I'm too close to the date of my own demise to be entertained by end-of-the-world craptaculars, but I do like the adjective kaboom-y, Dave.
Posted by Bauhaus I on October 5, 2009 at 12:25 PM
30
Sooo, no 2016 Olympics for Rio? Too bad Chicago wasted all that money and energy trying.
Posted by Scott in Chi-town on October 5, 2009 at 12:55 PM
Julie in Eugene 31
The best part of the 2012 trailer is, without a doubt, when the Creation of Adam splits in two directly at the point where God and Adam's fingers touch. I mean, it's just so symbolic, man. Like, God is forsaking his creation and stuff. Deep. Very deep.
Posted by Julie in Eugene on October 5, 2009 at 1:01 PM
Martin H. Duke 32
No need to worry about global warming, then!
Posted by Martin H. Duke http://seattletransitblog.com on October 5, 2009 at 1:05 PM
J-Haxx 33
Just another snuff film.......meh
Posted by J-Haxx http://defyaugury.livejournal.com on October 5, 2009 at 1:10 PM
Urgutha Forka 34
"The Day After Tomorrow" is my all time favorite movie to give the MST3K routine to. That flick is non-stop hilarity.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 5, 2009 at 2:40 PM
35
For a good text-based apocalypse with local flavor, try S. M. Stirling's "Dies the Fire."
Posted by dwight moody on October 5, 2009 at 2:50 PM
The Amazing Jim 36
Until I saw the trailer, I had no Idea that you could out-run the apocalypse by limo and plane.
Posted by The Amazing Jim http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=100000076496291&ref=profile on October 5, 2009 at 3:32 PM
laterite 37
The Road preview looks way more colorful than I imagined in the book. Then again, it's probably hard to effectively shoot gray on gray on gray on gray on gray under an endless endless endless gray ashen sky.

Kind of chagrined that they will be showing the "origin" of the apocalypse. I got the impression it was a nuclear winter though of course it's never explicitly described. Per usual with McCarthy, it just is.
Posted by laterite on October 5, 2009 at 4:17 PM
laterite 38
@34: Did they do a Rifftrax to it?
Posted by laterite on October 5, 2009 at 4:19 PM
FreudianShrimp 39
@37. Charlize Theron's production company optioned the book. At the time I heard this I wondered how she was going to insert herself into the story since the wife/mother was barely in it. Looks like there'll be flashback/dream sequences detailing what happened before the boy and the man were alone.

In any case, this isn't a film I'll bother with because I don't want some star's vanity project to pollute the images the book left in my head.
Posted by FreudianShrimp on October 5, 2009 at 6:04 PM
robwolf 40
@36 - right on! Although from the look of the trailer for 2012, Air Force One is not as lucky as it was in Independence Day.

I am a huge fan of the end of the world/apocalypse genre. Of course, Hollywood gives us these spectacular scenarios played out in all of their CGI glory, and they always seem to have a happy ending. Yep - global destruction and a happy ending! No wonder we Americans love going to war and have little interest in cooperating with multilateral treaties. There will always be a happy ending.

European film makers take a much more realistic road. I guess, perhaps, they realize that the end of the world is not as exciting and flashy as we would like to think. I guess it helps that they have been through world-ending scenarios for real a number of times in the past few centuries. Then of course, there is the sub-genre which refuses to take the end of the world seriously. 'Les Derniers jours du monde' which came out a few months ago in France managed to make the end of the world both depressing and hee-larious.

Suffice it to say, if the end does come, I am more worried about dying in a horrible and violent way from the mass panic of my fellow citizens or law enforcement than I am from mile-high tidal waves or bombardment from solar radiation. Hurricane Katrina was a good preview of that.
Posted by robwolf on October 6, 2009 at 2:54 AM
emor 41
@37

I heard that the before the apocalypse scenes are not in the movie. They company that made the trailer inserted them to make the movie look fun and action filled.

That's what I heard on the internet.
Posted by emor on October 6, 2009 at 8:28 AM
Chris in Vancouver WA 42
@ 36 - Didn't you know, that's in the Bible!
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on October 6, 2009 at 9:36 AM
Knat 43
Apparently Aragorn finds the One Ring at 2:08, so the movie ends with him killing all the baddies with a big mace and everyone is happy, right?

Seriously, The Road looks a thousand times better than 2012. I wasn't aware that this was the same director that made the brain-liquefying Day After Tomorrow.

@6: A thousand thank yous for posting that link. That was the funniest thing I've watched in weeks.
Posted by Knat on October 6, 2009 at 11:51 PM

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