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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Election Susan Hutchison Gives a Speech

Posted by Stranger Election Control Board on Tue, Nov 3, 2009 at 9:00 PM

"I want to remind you that this is a democracy," Susan told the crowd, "and in a democracy we have opponents. In some countries there are 'elections' and the opponents are not real, or are fake."

Susan did not concede, saying that only 40% of the vote had been counted. She looks forward to the days ahead, she said, and she thanked Dow "Gay European" Constantine for being her opponent because, again, in some democracies candidates don't have real opponents, only fake opponents, and Dow was a real opponent, not a fake one, which tells you something important about our democracy. For real.

"In a democracy we vote, and that is what is most important."

There were air quotes. Susan was crying in the ladies room before her speech. An old man cried in the ballroom during the speech. We are running out of mini-bottles of liquor. Susan's sons—who she thanked at length—are really, really hot. In some countries there are candidates whose sons are not really hot, or are fake hot. Not Susan's. They are really, really hot. And in case anyone at the Hutchison party is looking for the SECB because you want to ask us to leave... psst... we're standing over here, in the corner, with this guy...

Comments (17) RSS

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On KUOW they said she said the result would've been better for her if the news about Boeing came out sooner.

She should run for office in South Carolina!

Posted by PedestrianMe

on November 3, 2009 at 9:02 PM

Somebody hide any sharp utensils Steve Beren might have access to.

Posted by TheRain on November 3, 2009 at 9:06 PM

Guess it's off to the Palin compound.

Posted by elenchos on November 3, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Aw. Even wicked people have feelings.

Posted by Mattini on November 3, 2009 at 9:08 PM

Listening to her interview on KIRO. She says "The voters are confused". Amazing.

Posted by Gaydolf Titler on November 3, 2009 at 9:10 PM

Malahan and Hutchison -- The Microsoft Insiders -- Get Trounced.

Washington Is Now A GOOGLE STATE.

Posted by Born Losers on November 3, 2009 at 9:14 PM

Has her party in fucking Bellevue...says it all.

Posted by A. Ratnik on November 3, 2009 at 9:19 PM

Lindy & Meags need their own buddy sitcom. NOW.

Posted by kid icarus

on November 3, 2009 at 9:31 PM

Wait a second! That brunette in the photo is her mischievous look-alike cousin Serena.

Posted by Demetria on November 3, 2009 at 9:32 PM

Lindy, this is an excellent candidate for your Christmas card photo. If you don't normally send cards, maybe this is the year to start.

Posted by Aislinn on November 3, 2009 at 11:08 PM

Susan crying = me laughing.

Posted by very bad homo on November 3, 2009 at 11:18 PM

Susan Hutchinson, what is best in democracy?

Posted by Conan on November 3, 2009 at 11:20 PM

Can we see a pic of the "really, really hot" Hutchison sons??

Posted by Frau Blucher on November 4, 2009 at 3:40 AM

@ 13: I second that emotion. You can't mention the really hot sons w/out showing us some pics...

Posted by My Other Car's the Tardis on November 4, 2009 at 2:38 PM

@13 I agree. The people demand pictures. In a democracy we get pictures of hot sons, and that is what is most important.

Posted by Arkham

on November 4, 2009 at 7:14 PM

Pedestrian Me is obvoiusly a "thinking" liberal Democrat - he thinks he's smart and clever, but he really just exposes himself as an idiot.

The news of Boeing moving to South Carolina was GOOD news for incumbents there - duh.

LOL

Constantine won because of so much support from people like Pedestrian Me. Ha Ha

Posted by Vashon-Island-Stranger-Reader on November 15, 2009 at 7:01 PM