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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

News The Morning News: Santa's Rally for Swine Flu Vaccine, a Michigan Man Wins Rock Paper Scissors Championship, and Washington is the 11th Healthiest State in the Nation

Posted by Megan Seling on Wed, Nov 18, 2009 at 7:50 AM

Good Job, Washingtonians: Washington is the 11th healthiest state in America. (Read about how they got that result here.)

If They Build It...: President Obama believes Israel's decision to authorize construction of new settlements in east Jerusalem will complicate peace efforts.

Good Luck Finding an Impartial Jury: President Obama supports Attorney General Holder's decision to prosecute 9/11 plotters in New York.

Hack the Planet!: Officials have discovered a security weakness in Los Alamos National Laboratory's classified computer network.

This Time the U.S. Flagged Ship Fought Back With Gunfire: Somali pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama on Wednesday for the second time in seven months.

Santa's Not Safe From Swine Flu: Seasonal Santas lobby to get swine flu vaccinations to protect them from all the snot-nosed little kids.

The Winning Move Was Paper Covering Rock: A Michigan man won the world Rock Paper Scissors championship, and took home $7,000.

A Sad Statistic Keeps Getting Sadder: Army suicides are expected to set a record again this year—they've been on the rise for five consecutive years.

Let's All Go!: Sarah Palin will spend Thanksgiving in Richland, Washington with Aunt Katie.

Just Say No: 1,500-meter Olympic gold medalist was stripped of his medal after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs during the Beijing Games.

Goodbye, Hollywood: The Hollywood Video on Broadway has vanished in the night.

It Might Not Be All the Bacon-Fried Everything After All!: They have discovered signs of heart disease in Egyptian mummies. And they didn't have thisiswhyourefat.com back then.

And speaking of thisiswhyyourefat.com, this "meat baby" is disgusting—I can only imagine what it looks like once it's been cooked. I'm sorry to force it on you this early in the morning. (Not sorry enough to not force it on you, obviously.)

Submitted by Ryan Prevost, via thisiswhyyourefat.com

Comments (25) RSS

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Meat Baby. Not a good way to start the morning. After my neice was born oh-so-long-ago, I couldn't cook whole chickens for a year because they looked like little headless babies to me. And not that I'm a fan of ground beef, but this is an image that may keep me from ever making meatloaf again.

Posted by Allyn on November 18, 2009 at 8:04 AM

I just don't like the idea of a meat sculpture. The thought that someone moulded meat with their hands, spending so much time with their fingers in it as to form a baby shape, is kind of gross to me. I don't want someone handling my food like that.

Posted by Gloria on November 18, 2009 at 8:15 AM

It Might Not All the Bacon-Fried Everything After All!

The whole thing?!

Posted by viator on November 18, 2009 at 8:24 AM

Gloria: Compared to what the slaughterhouse did to that cow to get it to be ground beef, that's nothing.

Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty

on November 18, 2009 at 8:25 AM

@2
When I ran a bakery I was called up front to talk to an irate customer who could not BELEIVE instead of using tongs, the clerk used a tissue with her hands to pick out her cookie.

I gave the lady a free cookie. It wasn't too gross for her when it was free, and I didn't want to explain to her how all the bread, rolls, pies etc were made by people with hands....

And that Meat Baby is downright gross...and they haven't even put n the ketchup sauce yet.

Posted by hartiepie on November 18, 2009 at 8:41 AM

That starbucks drink is probably less healthy than the meat baby.

Posted by laterite on November 18, 2009 at 8:49 AM

You need to truss the baby's legs and arms close to the body for more even cooking.

Posted by meowmeowkitty on November 18, 2009 at 8:55 AM

@ Gloria, it's likely that the meat shaper wore gloves.

And... COLORADO is number 8 on that list. Suck it, Washington!

Posted by Matt from Denver on November 18, 2009 at 8:56 AM

And, not a word on Obama or health reform.

Once again the youthful tide of energy unleashed during camaign season gives way to complacency, and boredome....

this is how conservatives and oldsters rule this nation.

Meanwhile, over in the media that's covering health reform, nice story in NYT today Reid still doesn't have a clue about how to get to 60, and yes, exactly as predicted, it's those conservademsn like Lincoln of AR Nelson of NE and Landriue of LA who are in the fucking way.

And of course there's really nothing we can do. We can only hope to buy their votes by weakening the bill. For example, Nelson a former ins. guy wants us to NOT strip away the antitrust exmpetion for health insurers...he thinks state by state regulation is working just fine, thank you.

The solution?

Indicated months ago.

Obama should have focused on going to AR NE LA etc. and changed the on the ground politics there, inviting these people to get on board, or be primaried. Obama could have filled that cornholers stadium in Lincoln Nebraska .... could have shown Nebraskans in bankruptcy court on TV and put their stoires on stage...dittoe in Baton Rouge and fuck yeah in Arkansas baby...we had this great level of grass roots energy, 11 million on an e mail list.....plenty of folks to be activited in those states.....

and now it's all gone and we are hoping we can water down the bill enough to satisfy conservatives from fucking ArKANSAS.

Posted by "change, hope, unity" woo fucking hoo. on November 18, 2009 at 8:58 AM

I knew Phelps was doping! I can't believe it took this lo...wait, you mean there's a swimming medal Michael Phelps DIDN'T win?

Posted by Banna

on November 18, 2009 at 9:11 AM

"Seasonal Santa's"? Oh, dear Megan... hard to believe we have 10 comments and not a grammar queen among them.

And the meat's more of a problem than the baby shape.

Posted by Oldskool on November 18, 2009 at 9:49 AM

Imagine what Julia Child could do with roasted human baby!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on November 18, 2009 at 9:49 AM

Santas

Posted by matt on November 18, 2009 at 9:58 AM

Please fix the apostrophes in your various Santa references. It's making me cringe.

Answer guide:
Post Title: No apostrophe
Item title: If you're talking about one Santa you're OK, otherwise it should be "Santas are"
Item: No apostrophe

As a professional Santa, I'm sensitive (and no, I'm not planning to get a shot).

Posted by Cracker Jack on November 18, 2009 at 9:59 AM

@12 It's all about basting every 10 minutes with butter. Baby is delicate, so you want a slow oven.

Posted by meowmeowkitty on November 18, 2009 at 10:10 AM

Do they make Boca Babies?

Posted by Rob in Baltimore

on November 18, 2009 at 10:13 AM

Is it any surprise the south is the least healthy?

Posted by Vince on November 18, 2009 at 10:15 AM

It looks like a Harlequin baby. :(

Posted by Shelby on November 18, 2009 at 10:57 AM

Dammit, I am in the Tri for thanksgiving.

Posted by wisepunk on November 18, 2009 at 11:15 AM

@18: OH GOD.

I think I might lose my lunch now, thankyouverymuch :(

Posted by Shini on November 18, 2009 at 11:22 AM

@5: Yeah, I know. It's just that meat is squishy and juicy, and there's an extra squick factor there for me.

Posted by Gloria on November 18, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Somehow I'm reminded of Eraserhead.

Posted by keshmeshi on November 18, 2009 at 11:33 AM

@14 In the title I'm referring to one Santa because there's only one Santa. So the rally belongs to Santa, therefore "Santa's" is correct, yes?

For the item title, I'm also referring to one Santa, basically saying "Not even Santa's safe..." meaning Santa is, so the apostrophe is correct there as well.

As for the extra apostrophe in the following sentence, about the group of seasonal Santas, well, I'm just dumb. So I fixed it.

Good? Yes? Maybe? Hopefully.

Posted by Megan Seling on November 18, 2009 at 11:38 AM

You people are just too squeamish. Meat baby - what's not to love?

Posted by bullwinkle