Imagine this: You're at a bar and you see a cutie across the room, so you chat him/her up a little and eventually exchange numbers. After a couple days, this sex god or goddess decides to give you a call and—what's this?—is that Sub Pop's comedy superstar Eugene Mirman as your hilarious and personalized outgoing voice-mail message? Yes it is! Impressive! It will absolutely score you a date. Probably even get you laid! (Not a promise.)

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