Slog
News & ArtsMonday, January 4, 2010
Sex / Hetero / Religion Convert to Christianity and Receive a Complimentary "Get Out of Adultery Free Card"
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jan 4, 2010 at 9:42 AM
On Fox News this weekend anchor/asshole Brit Hume suggested that Tiger Woods, a Buddhist (who knew? who cared?), needs to convert to Christianity to salvage his personal and professional life. Some folks thought Hume was claiming that a Christian wouldn't cheat on his wife and in response rattled off the names of all the nominal-to-good Republican Christians who've cheated on their wives: Mark Sanford, John Ensign, Newt Gingrich, Rudy Giuliani, et al. But Hume meant something else entirely: it's not that Christians don't cheat, it's that Christians are forgiven...
"He is said to be a Buddhist," Hume stated. "I don't think that faith offers the kind of forgiveness and redemption that is offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger would, "Tiger, turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world."
Woods should become a Christian, Hume argues, not because Jesus is Lord or Christianity is the one true faith or because Christianity is the way, the truth, and the light. No, Woods should become a Christian because Christianity offers the best deal for adulterous husbands—you know, all that forgiveness and redemption and stuff that you can't get anywhere else. A Christian man can cheat on his wife with scores of tight-faced tramps and all he has to do is make a full confession and—presto!—he's forgiven! It's all good! And once Woods has squared things with the right God—or the Right's God—folks aren't allowed to question his actions or his character or his judgment because that would amount to an attack on his faith. The incentive to become or remain a Christian, according to Hume, is this: you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want—lie, cheat, steal, fuck around—and set a great example for the world by making a dog-and-pony show of your remorse.
1
Brit Hume is a leotard whose own warped senses of reality, right and wrong, logic, reason and everything else make no sense whatsoever.
Color me shocked.
Color me shocked.
2
Britt Hume seems like a troubled man. He also looks a little bit stoned in that interview, or am I just imagining that he's slurring a little?
3
... and that's why evangelism is ruining America. A lot of these guys really believe this. At least Catholics have to run a gamut of confession and remorse and still fear the fires of Hell if you forgot to mention everything.
5
Thanks for posting—and correctly interpreting—this, Dan. The hypocrisy and idiocy of many Christians is pathetic.
7
An open letter to Britt Hume:
Dear Mr. Hume:
Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck. You. End of discussion. Are you still talking? Didn't I make it clear?
Fuck You
All my best to the family.
Dear Mr. Hume:
Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck. You. End of discussion. Are you still talking? Didn't I make it clear?
Fuck You
All my best to the family.
8
Hume always did chew on his words a little, but now he looks & talks like he's had a stroke. The right side of his face droops a little. If you cover up the right half of his face you can see how the left half looks 10 years younger. (That could also explain the way his brain is working)
10
@2- I'd wager on prescription pill abuse. It's the Republicans' way of killing the voice inside their head telling them they're evil.
11
That's not what it means to be a Christian. I'm amused that people just don't get it.
II Peter 20:21 "For if after they have escaped the pollution of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them".
In other words, if you're a Christian and you still cheat, it's worse for you. Not better.
II Peter 20:21 "For if after they have escaped the pollution of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them".
In other words, if you're a Christian and you still cheat, it's worse for you. Not better.
12
I remember learning about Catholics and confession. I was dumbfounded - you can do anything, anything, and be forgiven? Yup.
I just love uptight prigs like Hume who believe they have all the answers (but isn't that religion in general - here's a guidebook with all the answers to life?). Meanwhile, every social conservative seems to cheat on his wife and yet gay people can't get married? Oh, right, God is on their side.
It's quite confusing because the Old Testament seems to have the angry God who will kick your ass if you get out of line while the New Testament God is more benign and forgiving. How does Hume know for sure who he will face on Judgment Day?
I just love uptight prigs like Hume who believe they have all the answers (but isn't that religion in general - here's a guidebook with all the answers to life?). Meanwhile, every social conservative seems to cheat on his wife and yet gay people can't get married? Oh, right, God is on their side.
It's quite confusing because the Old Testament seems to have the angry God who will kick your ass if you get out of line while the New Testament God is more benign and forgiving. How does Hume know for sure who he will face on Judgment Day?
13
I guess that's why so many people in prison have "found Jesus." At least until they get out again. Heh heh.
14
Slog posts and comments about religion always remind me of what I heard people say was the level of discourse in that one freshman-year Intro to Religious Thought class I was too busy hunting cock to ever attend.
Not that that's a bad thing.
Not that that's a bad thing.
15
Hume is also, of course, wrong about Buddhism. No forgiveness? You're just plain wrong about that, fool.
16
Hume's right about Buddhism in that you cannot wipe out a "sin" by asking for forgiveness--you're responsible for everything you've done (good or bad) when it's your turn to move to a new station on the Great Wheel of Life.
That's a good thing, IMO. It would make you think twice about doing something hurtful or wrong.
Xtians think they can pray away their evil acts--the pestilential assholes.
That's a good thing, IMO. It would make you think twice about doing something hurtful or wrong.
Xtians think they can pray away their evil acts--the pestilential assholes.
17
Jokes on us... If Tiger Woods converted to Christianity and repented, he'd get his endorsement deals back faster than you can say "indulgences."
Ask yourself... would you convert to the most hypocrisy-ridden religion for several multi-million dollar endorsement deals?
America loves the repented sinner.
Ask yourself... would you convert to the most hypocrisy-ridden religion for several multi-million dollar endorsement deals?
America loves the repented sinner.
18
This is pretty much the same argument my father made re: beating my mom, who eventually divorced him. It didn't matter what she or the kids thought/felt because God (a/k/a the little voice in his head) had already forgiven him.
19
Dan, sometimes you're so right, it hurts.
Actually, Hume (unknowingly, I'm sure) is correct: In Buddhism, there's no "forgiveness" as such. You screw someone over, and you're eventually - eventually - gonna get screwed over yourself as payback. Now THAT'S a he-man religion!!
Actually, Hume (unknowingly, I'm sure) is correct: In Buddhism, there's no "forgiveness" as such. You screw someone over, and you're eventually - eventually - gonna get screwed over yourself as payback. Now THAT'S a he-man religion!!
20
@17- And as Richard Gere told Lisa Simpson, Buddha doesn't mind if you pay lip service to another religion.
(Buddha doesn't actually mind anything. It's why he's smiling.)
(Buddha doesn't actually mind anything. It's why he's smiling.)
21
Of course, you don't need all that lovely "forgiveness" if you don't cleave to a faith that condemns you from the start in the first place.
22
Speaking as a Christian pastor, albeit a crazy ass liberal one, I have to say that Mr. Hume needs a class in Buddhism, and perhaps a refresher course in Christian theology.
Forgiveness IS in fact a central tenet of Buddhism, so for him to assert that forgiveness is exclusively Christian in concept is moronic.
Further, redemption and forgiveness, as those terms are understood in Christian theology, are something that is freely given of God, not something we turn on with a switch that magically makes our lives better. Further, Sen. Vitter appears to have failed to notice that true repentance includes HUMBLY accepting responsibility for our failings, and does not earn one a get out of jail free card.
Brit, how about we agree that YOU cover the news and leave the faith lives of the 7 billion or so souls on the planet to, oh, I don't know, the 7 billion or so souls on the planet?
sigh...
Forgiveness IS in fact a central tenet of Buddhism, so for him to assert that forgiveness is exclusively Christian in concept is moronic.
Further, redemption and forgiveness, as those terms are understood in Christian theology, are something that is freely given of God, not something we turn on with a switch that magically makes our lives better. Further, Sen. Vitter appears to have failed to notice that true repentance includes HUMBLY accepting responsibility for our failings, and does not earn one a get out of jail free card.
Brit, how about we agree that YOU cover the news and leave the faith lives of the 7 billion or so souls on the planet to, oh, I don't know, the 7 billion or so souls on the planet?
sigh...
23
RE: Buddhism and forgiveness. There are a lot of Buddhisms in the world, so anyone making a blanket statement regarding Buddhist beliefs is probably wrong. Some branches of Buddhism aren't extremely karma centric (Zen, for example. Enlightenment may be attained without leading a perfect life.) while there are some sects which will literally let you buy your way into heaven. It forgiveness per se, but but karmic offsets in return for buying the temple a Benz is pretty close to the kind of forgiveness Hume is talking about here.
24
It is funny to me that the most ardent proponents of the Protestant Work Ethic subscribe to a faith that basically invites you to become a spiritual welfare case.
25
@ 15 - Fnarf, I think it's probably more correct to say that, in Buddhism, there's no need for forgiveness, which was probably something invented by monotheists as a way of washing away human guilt.
27
"Speaking as a Christian pastor. . . ." Well geez, thanks for the full disclosure right there in the first sentence. Heck, if it weren't for that, I might have been tempted to take what you say seriously.
28
As a Buddhist, I can say with authority that this is nonsense. First of all, there's no real 'you' to be impure or sin in the first place. Secondly you can overcome the negative consequences of your actions through the power of renunciation. So yeah, this is nonsense.
30
We worship wealth and fame and sports in this country. Tiger doesn't need to convert to Christianity.
32
Well Hume is right! I mean if Christians can forgive their very own priests and ministers for sexually molesting children, forgiving Tiger for an affair with an adult should be as easy as slipping an alter boy out of a robe.
33
It's such a shame that Christianity often presents it's self as a religion consumed with appearing holy, instead of a way of life that is consumed by the desire to act justly and compassionately. The catholic church would appear much more first century CE like, truer to its roots and the message of its teacher, if it was.
34
Additionally, Buddhism isn't a "faith", its a philosophy.
There is no 'god', nothing you have to 'just believe' (like virgin birth, or Bible-as-god's-word). You can practice meditation and see for yourself if Buddhists are right or not about what they say.
There is no 'god', nothing you have to 'just believe' (like virgin birth, or Bible-as-god's-word). You can practice meditation and see for yourself if Buddhists are right or not about what they say.
36
@34- Stop talking about "Buddhism" when you mean "the small branch of Buddhism of which I have a passing acquaintance." The vast majority of Buddhists in the world believe in a whole shitload of gods. You might as well say you don't need to believe in the divinity of Jesus to be a Christian because your Unitarian Christian friend says so, or that Muslims all abhor violence because your Sufi friend is a pacifist....
The level of ignorance about Buddhism displayed by both Hume and the people disagreeing with him is startling.
The level of ignorance about Buddhism displayed by both Hume and the people disagreeing with him is startling.
37
Anybody know anything about Britt Hume's son, Sandy, who committed suicide at 28 back in the mid-90s? There are all kinds of rumors he was gay and had an affair with conservative Republican Bill Paxon of New York.
40
As an agnostic Jew, this exemplifies the number one problem I have with Christianity: it's insistence on believing in Jesus rather than actually living a righteous life and doing good deeds. I quote Gandhi: "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."
41
If I was Vitter's wife, I would be thankful as hell he was paying to have someone diaper and wipe his ass, so I wouldn't have to.
42
If I remember my Christianity correctly, forgiveness by God doesn't equate to forgiveness by the state, family, victims or community. A forgiven sinner must still atone (i.e. serve sentence, recompense the victims, serve the community, etc.).
So, from the outside of the Christian Faith, it's a bit of a false product, i.e. yet another consideration that has to be satisfied after ill action.
dwight moody is correct that there are many schisms of Buddhism, plenty of which have gods attached (not to mention a touch of misogyny) most of which has been washed when translated for us westerners. The local versions of Taoism and zen from whence I get my questions answered treat it as a philosophy, without the mythos of deities or afterlife, but the way they think of it compares closely to the way Christians think of their own faith. To this atheist, religions appear to affect as lifestyles first, ethical foundations second and choices of personal mythology third.
So, from the outside of the Christian Faith, it's a bit of a false product, i.e. yet another consideration that has to be satisfied after ill action.
dwight moody is correct that there are many schisms of Buddhism, plenty of which have gods attached (not to mention a touch of misogyny) most of which has been washed when translated for us westerners. The local versions of Taoism and zen from whence I get my questions answered treat it as a philosophy, without the mythos of deities or afterlife, but the way they think of it compares closely to the way Christians think of their own faith. To this atheist, religions appear to affect as lifestyles first, ethical foundations second and choices of personal mythology third.
43
Hmm...aren't right-wing Christians generally the same gun-totin' ones who espouse the death penalty? I guess the 'get-out-of-jail-free card' doesn't apply to those actually in jail.
44
Dan, I hope you read these comments. You asked Keith Olbermann why the liberal Christians didn't speak out on these issues. First, our moderate or liberal ideas just aren't fanatic and crazy enough for national attention. It's hard to be heard when you are speaking calmly and rationally instead of shouting, ranting and raving. But anyway, here it is: I am a Christian. I believe, but I am not certain of anything. My friends and my congregation openly accept anyone to join us, regardless of race, creed, sexual orientation, educational, economic, social or disabled status. We disavow killing, derision, inhumanity, callousness, selfishness and all other manners of hate and greed, particularly when allegedly done in Jesus' name. As someone who is aware of the concepts of Christianity, you know that "what would Jesus do" comes nowhere close to what the extremist Republican (redundancy) Christians (oxymoron) are spewing. I hope you know, as I believe I do, that I speak for thousands, perhaps even millions.
45
One wonders if Hume found the same Christian compassion and solace he suggests for Woods when his own gay son committed suicide in the 90s after a rumored affair with a (allegedly) hetero married Congressman was about to become public ...
46
@44 - Rock on, brother, you've hit the nail on the head. Some of the people commenting here need to read your post multiple times, whether they be far-right or anti-Christianity, everyone could learn a lot from your comment.
48
tribwriter and A Christian you can both rest assured that the contrast between the loudness of the literalist right and the size of their demographic has been recognized here on SLOG. In fact, kim in portland, a frequent commenter, sets a fine example for all of Christendom. Whether or not Dan reads all SLOG comments (I assume someone at The Stranger does), I'm sure he's been witness to positive representation.
There are a few essays floating around that acknowledge the majority of representations of Christianity in the media (in news and fiction both) are stereotyped to resemble the radical right more than the popular mainline views (or the still commonplace moderate-left views), a pattern which continues today.
Conservative Christian views are also more visible online than moderate views, though I hypothesize this is a mix of refuge in simplicity (exempli gratia, use of vague clobber passages to justify intrinsic xenophobia) and deliberate baiting troll tactics (e.g. using common radical talking points to intentionally perpetuate an argument).
Incidentally, Allegedly, when I was speaking of shutting up Fox News, or the LDS pulpit I was speaking of the mostly silent majority (which includes a lot of moderates, with both left and right leanings) getting vocal and joining the conversation, drowning out the extremes, not SWAT raids on conservative radio stations. You knew this, but now it's been put into words. But as I said before, I was regarded as moderate in the '90s I'm only ragingly Liberal now because the Democratic platform is really the Progressive Republican platform; my position hasn't changed -- theirs has.
More...
There are a few essays floating around that acknowledge the majority of representations of Christianity in the media (in news and fiction both) are stereotyped to resemble the radical right more than the popular mainline views (or the still commonplace moderate-left views), a pattern which continues today.
Conservative Christian views are also more visible online than moderate views, though I hypothesize this is a mix of refuge in simplicity (exempli gratia, use of vague clobber passages to justify intrinsic xenophobia) and deliberate baiting troll tactics (e.g. using common radical talking points to intentionally perpetuate an argument).
Incidentally, Allegedly, when I was speaking of shutting up Fox News, or the LDS pulpit I was speaking of the mostly silent majority (which includes a lot of moderates, with both left and right leanings) getting vocal and joining the conversation, drowning out the extremes, not SWAT raids on conservative radio stations. You knew this, but now it's been put into words. But as I said before, I was regarded as moderate in the '90s I'm only ragingly Liberal now because the Democratic platform is really the Progressive Republican platform; my position hasn't changed -- theirs has.
49
Wow! This essay reads a lot between the lines of what Hume said. There is forgiveness in Christianity. It doesn't mean you shut your brain off and forget what wrongs you committed or were committed against you. If Woods were following any religion except religion of self, he might not be in this predicament. I applaud Brit for not being PC. I'd rather know where someone stands. Also, what does his gay son have to do with this? That's immaterial.
50
When his son committed suicide, Hume went out of his way - via FOX - to say it was a private family matter.Too bad he can't walk that talk with Woods, which is also, a private family matter.
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