Part One: On January 1, around 4:30 a.m., Seattle police received a call concerning "a theft of services," a police report says. A Yellow Cab driver had picked up a man and woman in Capitol Hill and he was driving them to North Seattle when the couple "attempted to 'have sex' in the rear of the vehicle."

The driver was upset by the couple's behavior, and pulled over to deposit them at the corner of NE 75th Street and 17th Avenue NE. This was about two blocks from their destination address, the report adds. When the cab driver asked for money, the couple refused to pay their cab fare, so the driver threatened to call the police.

The male suspect then turned back towards the driver, who was now outside of the cab, and "pushed him onto the hood of the cab... then wrapped both hands around his neck." The driver pushed the assailant off of him, but was then confronted by the woman, who pulled out a folding knife and "waved the knife ... in a threatening manner." The driver backed off and the suspects fled on foot.

Part Two: After the jump...

When police arrived, the driver provided descriptions of the couple and showed officers a picture of the woman that he'd taken with his cell phone. The picture was blurry, the report continues, but the cop "could see the female suspect was wearing black jean-type pants and a dark jacket."

The three officers did the most logical thing: They drove over to the suspects' original destination, which the couple had given to the cab driver. At the address, police found a man that fit the male suspect's description. "He stated he (sic) and his 'lady friend'...did indeed take a cab from Capital [sic] Hill to northeast Seattle earlier in the evening." The suspect further admitted that he lived at that location, and when asked, gave his consent to the officers entering the premises to contact the female suspect. Police found her in the suspect's bed "without clothes on."

The officers inquired as to which clothes were hers, and she "pointed to a pair of black jeans and a black jacket lying on the floor." Before they let her get dressed, they checked her pockets to find "a small closed folding knife in the front pocket."

The taxi driver drove to the officers' location and identified both suspects. When officers asked the couple why they didn't pay the fare, the male suspect responded that they "felt they were treated poorly by the cab driver and, therefor [sic], refused to pay the taxi fare." The female suspect responded in kind, further adding that the driver "threatened them" and that she pulled a knife out in self-defense.

Both suspects were arrested and booked into the King County Jail for several charges. Happy fucking New Year!