...you'd think the week's most fascinating film story was the box-office clobbering of the Matt Damon war flick Green Zone by Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. But you simply can't beat the story of the California filmgoer who responded to a fellow audience member's "shushing" by stabbing him in the neck with a meat thermometer.

Take it away, KTLA:

The stabbing occurred Saturday at the Cinemark 22 theater at 2600 West Avenue I in Lancaster. The theater was packed for a 9 p.m. Saturday screening of the Martin Scorsese horror movie 'Shutter Island' when the victim complained about a woman near him who was using a cellphone during the show. The victim was hospitalized but is expected to survive.

Shutter Island made me want to stab someone, too.