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The Mercury has a great account of a children's book written by a failed Teabagger candidate about how Obama stole Christmas. The Liberal Clause is clearly a book that should be in every child's stocking this Christmas season:

"What about the Christmastution?" [an elf shouted].

Ignoring them, Elf Sneed shouted out, "My fellow elves, it is my distinct honor to present to you, the hope and change we have been waiting for; our new Claus!"

Shortly after these words left Sneed's mouth, a man dressed in Santa's suit stepped onto the stage and strutted to the mike. In front of him, a group of elves ran out holding up a TV screen with words on it. This was the first time the elves had seen a teleprompter at the North Pole. Santa Claus had always spoken from the heart.

The skinny imposter began to read.

"My fellow citizens of the North Pole," he stated with a hint of arrogance in his voice, "I am here to pull Christmas back from the brink of destruction. My name is Barry, but you can call me Liberal Claus."

"Are you even from the North Pole?" an elf questioned from the crowd.

Liberal Claus scowled at this elf with pure evil in his eyes. For a moment all of the elves stood in disbelief waiting for a response, but the response would never come.

Wow.