Fighting is bad. It is. But some fights are, in their sheer bestiality, more impressive than others. If you hold any belief that humans are somehow more noble, exalted, “better” creatures than the next primate, and that this nobility comes through in how we express ourselves physically towards our opponents, a fight on East Blaine Street on November 12th should set you straight.

According to a Seattle police report, on that night a woman ended up at an apartment building to pick up a friend—a former girlfriend of a man living there. Upon arrival, she realized her friend wasn't there. Instead of simply leaving like a rational human being, she then allegedly started whaling on the victim and screaming at him for “fucking [her friend's] life up.” The report states that the man grabbed her fists in defense, which allegedly provoked her to bite his thumb, his chest (which requires some imagination to visualize), and allegedly grab at his genitals (never fear, she only managed to allegedly scratch his thigh). According to the victim, he frantically tried to call the cops but the suspect successfully grabbed at his phone, at which point he dropped the façade of pacifism and “punched her in the gut.”