First off, huge fan, read your column religiously, love the 'cast.

Second, I'm a 22-year-old male who just moved to a new city. My ex had two miscarriages (one last March and she neglected to tell me until July, and another in November) and has been claiming for months that she was pregnant. Suspecting that this was a crock-pot of santorum I said, "Fine, show me." After bullshitting around like she couldn't find it, misplaced it, blah, blah, blah, the crazy bitch sends me a picture of her holding a sonogram. Instantly, something told me to check Google Images of sonograms and the first result swas the exact same sonogram she was holding. THE EXACT SAME ONE!!! I felt I did the right thing moving away because otherwise she would never let me go. I did cheat on her once and let her know that I wasn't going to be with her forever, as well as broke up with her at least three times, but now I'm sick of her bullshit and I'm taking a stand against it. What's your take on this the fake-ass sonogram situation with my ex holding up this picture from Google Images? Did I make the right decision leaving her or what?

Sonogram Didn't Trick Me
Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...

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Yes.

But, um, gee. If you read my column and listen to the podcast and own the freakin' app, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO GET THIS WOMAN PREGNANT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Why aren't you using condoms, you moron?!? THE EXACT SAME ONES I'M ALWAYS TALKING ON THE PODCAST!

Sorry to jump down your throat, but letters like yours—"Hey, Dan, I've been reading your column religiously for years but haven't retained a goddamn thing somehow"—ruin my day.

Stop fucking women—crazy bitches, sane bitches, borderline bitches—without a condom on your goddamn dick, SDTM. Sheesh.