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These urinals at UMD are basically tall toilet bowls. They're kind of lovely—they have a graceful line—but gracefulness of line doesn't compensate for awkwardness of placement.

To use one of these urinals a man must straddle; the front lip of the urinal's bowl is supposed to rest below his crotch. These urinals require a man to step up. But if two men were to stand side-by-side and attempt to urinate simultaneously, the sides of their feet would be forced to touch; there simply isn't enough space between bowls. Larry Craig would love these urinals: no need to contort yourself into a incriminating and comically "wide stance" here. The architect has provided your alibi: my foot touched the officer's because the urinals were too close together.

Now picture this: if four people attempted to use these urinals at once, and wished to avoid playing anonymous quad footsie, the men would have to stagger themselves—one man steps up and pees directly into bowl, the next stands back and arcs his urine into the bowl, etc. It's like synchronized swimming but, you know, different.