As Wm.™ Steven mentioned earlier, a lock of Justin Bieber's hair has been auctioned off for over $40,000. A single goddamn lock! So have I gotta deal for you celebrity hair collectors.

I will shave my entire head, and send all the clippings to you, in exchange for a new, 50-gallon electric hot water heater, plus installation. Help me mop up my basement from the busted one, and I'll throw in my beard.

First come, first serve, so hurry!