The shitty brown Northgate Mall of my youth is long gone (let us not even speak of the dearly departed U Village Lamonts), but I always took comfort in the fact that that weird suit of armor outside Excalibur Cutlery & Gifts remained. A shining sentry from another time. A piece of the old Northgate. Until now...
- WHERE DID THE EXCALIBUR SUIT OF ARMOR GO!?!?!? If the Excalibur suit of armor has left this earth, then a part of me has died along with it.
At least the fucking store is still there, because seriously—WHAT IS EXCALIBUR CUTLERY & GIFTS AND HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANYONE GO IN OR OUT OF IT AND HOW COULD A STORE POSSIBLY SELL ENOUGH NOVELTY DAGGERS AND KEYCHAIN SWISS ARMY KNIVES TO SUSTAIN DECADES AND DECADES OF BUSINESS!?!?!?!?!?? I mean really. No wonder they had to pawn grandpa's armor.
- "All right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all right all riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
- For Charles.
- In Portland, all the Pop-a-Shot is free. Sigh.
- I did not sample the hot-dog tartare, but Stranger food critic Bethany Jean Clement described it as "pink."
Happy weekend!
