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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Straight People Have Anal Sex

Posted by on Tue, Jun 7, 2011 at 11:11 AM

Oh, for crying out loud:

Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum is ardently anti-gay and has an acute talent for tapping into the homophobic imagination of social conservatives. “Man on child,” “man on dog,” incest, “priests with 3-year-olds,” polygamy, the welfare of children, the decline of Western civilization—if it’s in the vocabulary of anti-gay hysteria, Santorum has been there, done that. As a result, he’s become the target of a Google bomb, led by gay columnist Dan Savage, that successfully redefined “santorum” as a substance most straight people probably didn’t know existed and most gay men never thought to name, especially not in honor of a Republican US Senator. But hey, shi* happens—and now Santorum is widely considered a joke. The launch of his presidential campaign today was greeted with a chorus of knowing sneers.

There are a lot of straight people out there having anal sex. Not most, but approaching most:

In 1992, 16 percent of women aged 18-24 said they'd tried anal sex. Now 20 percent of women aged 18-19 say they've done it, and by ages 20-24, the number is 40 percent. In 1992, the highest percentage of women in any age group who admitted to anal sex was 33. In 2002, it was 35. Now it's 46.

And considering that straight people outnumber gay men by a factor of 10, 20, or 40, depending whose estimates you believe, most of the buttfucking that goes on out there is straight buttfucking. So santorum is something that lots of straight people are familiar with. Intimately familiar.

And remember, kids: If you're doing anal right, there's no santorum.

 

Comments (62) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
To be fair, even if it's 46%, that still means 54% (most) haven't had anal sex, so the author may be technically correct. That said, the spirit of the sentence is still, "yucky gays with their weirdo sex!" which is lame as hell.
Posted by Frank Rizzo on June 7, 2011 at 11:15 AM · Report this
2
Having "tried" anal sex, which is what was asked, is vastly different from having it regularly.
Posted by bigyaz on June 7, 2011 at 11:16 AM · Report this
3
Have you even posted a column on the best way to ensure the absence of Santorum, Dan? I can't recall. A reminder could be in order...
Posted by An AAGM on June 7, 2011 at 11:27 AM · Report this
4
What a wonderful reason to post a link to Kim's admiring, supportive namecheck!
Posted by gloomy gus on June 7, 2011 at 11:35 AM · Report this
5
3
keep dicks out of your ass.
Posted by Dam Sewage on June 7, 2011 at 11:39 AM · Report this
COMTE 6
And of course social conservatives like Santorum will simply point to this study as further proof that "Teh Gay Lifestyle" is having a "negative impact" on our culture and morals.

Because, as we all know, up until just a few years ago, only teh Gays had teh buttsecks...
Posted by COMTE on June 7, 2011 at 11:40 AM · Report this
7
"an acute talent for tapping into the homophobic imagination of social conservatives. “Man on child,” “man on dog,” incest, “priests with 3-year-olds,” POLYGAMY, the welfare of children, the decline of Western civilization—if it’s in the vocabulary of anti-gay hysteria, Santorum has been there, done that...."

OMFG....

who would have guessed that Rick and Danny are bedmates in the Polygaphobia sleepover?
Posted by Rick and Danny sitting in a tree... on June 7, 2011 at 11:42 AM · Report this
8
So there are 20X as many straights as homos having anal sex.

And yet homos are 88X as likely to get AIDS.

how cum, Danny?
Posted by deviant perversions for $50, Alex... on June 7, 2011 at 11:44 AM · Report this
9
And remember, adults: If you're doing politics right, there's no rick santorum!!!
Posted by subwlf on June 7, 2011 at 11:52 AM · Report this
10
Remember Mouseketeers,
Homosexual Sex is 100% Safe, Natural and Normal!

Just don't forget your lube.
and plastic sheeting.
and condoms.
and rubber gloves.
and a bottle of bleach....
Posted by thats how the Penguins do it, after all..... on June 7, 2011 at 11:55 AM · Report this
venomlash 11
@5: You have a point, I suppose.
Posted by venomlash on June 7, 2011 at 11:57 AM · Report this
John Horstman 12
Fancy, that: Scarleteen's Heather Corrina just answered some anal sex questions from straight people over at RH Reality Check yesterday.
Posted by John Horstman on June 7, 2011 at 11:58 AM · Report this
13
10

oh yeah,
don't forget the enema, either....
Posted by ...even educated fleas do it. on June 7, 2011 at 11:58 AM · Report this
14
10
oh, and goggles.
for sure remember goggles.
you don't want your Beloved's shit splattering into your eye, do you?
Posted by No. you don't. on June 7, 2011 at 11:59 AM · Report this
15
10

sorry.

forgot trash bags.

you're going to want to bag up the whole crime scene when you're done and leave it with an infectious waste disposal team.
Posted by Anal Sex Done Right on June 7, 2011 at 12:01 PM · Report this
16
10
Of course, all is based on the assumption you've spent several weeks with assorted butt plugs.
preparing for your Normal Natural lovemaking.
Posted by butt pack some oxycontin just in case... on June 7, 2011 at 12:05 PM · Report this
Frau Blucher 17
Damn straight, you're doing it wrong, if there is santorum.

As a gay male, I make a point of being sooooo clean, I could fart soap bubbles.
Posted by Frau Blucher on June 7, 2011 at 12:11 PM · Report this
18
"And considering that straight people outnumber gay men by a factor of 10, 20, or 40, depending whose estimates you believe, most of the buttfucking that goes on out there is straight buttfucking. ..."

So there are 40X as many straights and half are doing anal means 20X as much straight anal as homosexual anal.
And yet homosexuals account for 57% of all new HIV?
And 20% of sexually active homosexuals have HIV? Compared to 0.7% of heterosexuals?

Why is that Dan?

please explain.....
Posted by us on June 7, 2011 at 12:14 PM · Report this
Original Andrew 19
@ 18,

Are you in favor of alligator-crocodile marriage?

If not, please explain.
Posted by Original Andrew on June 7, 2011 at 12:31 PM · Report this
bhowie 20
I find myself wondering: What percentage of homophobic trolls who obsessively post on Slog about anal sex have anal sex?
Any guesses?
Posted by bhowie on June 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM · Report this
21
@20

0% It's all 1 troll and he's clearly a sad basement dwelling closet case dreaming of Dan's cock and then hating himself for it.
Posted by Frank Rizzo on June 7, 2011 at 12:35 PM · Report this
22
OF COURSE
straight people have Anal Sex, Danny-
how do you think you were conceived?
Posted by Emmaculate Consumption on June 7, 2011 at 12:35 PM · Report this
23
20
21

sorry girls, the troll isn't giving autographs today.....
Posted by ...run along and play on June 7, 2011 at 12:37 PM · Report this
Puty 24
Shut up, @18!*

I'm straight so what do I know but I bet most anal sex acts are performed by hard-fucking gay couples who (I assume?) have anal sex much more often than their more numerous but lazy, weak, underachieving and vaginally-privileged straight couple counterparts.

Yeah. I'm betting the gays still win because we straights are a buncha dilettantes, no better than anal tourists. Am I right? Maybe get Golob to run a statistical analysis of all these anal fucks? With graphs and funny clip art?

*Assuming (ASSuming!) I read your post correctly and you intended to drop a homophobic innuendo about the "unhealthiness" of the gay lifestyle. If I misread your post, @18, and you're not a jackass, then I'm sorry I told you to shut up.
Posted by Puty on June 7, 2011 at 12:41 PM · Report this
tupa 25
#9 ftw
Posted by tupa on June 7, 2011 at 12:42 PM · Report this
Puty 26
@25 oh yeah for sure. that was great. Yay @9!
Posted by Puty on June 7, 2011 at 12:43 PM · Report this
venomlash 27
@18: I've explained to you before the fallacy of claiming that 20% of homosexuals (sexually active or no) have HIV. About 5-7% of male homosexuals have HIV based on nationwide numbers (rather than in 21 cities only), and the numbers are far lower for lesbians than for heterosexuals. But you don't really care about the facts, do you? All that matters is the Truth, amirite?
inb4 b&
Posted by venomlash on June 7, 2011 at 12:50 PM · Report this
28
27
gosh we don't remember
could you run the numbers one more time for us?
Posted by please?thankx!hahahahahahahahaahahahahaha on June 7, 2011 at 1:01 PM · Report this
29
@27 I guess lesbians are truly God's chosen people.
Posted by Lumpmoose on June 7, 2011 at 1:06 PM · Report this
raindrop 30
I feel sorry for all persons wiht the last name of Santorum. Too bad Dan didn't think of those ramifications when he started that site.
Posted by raindrop on June 7, 2011 at 1:07 PM · Report this
31
If there's any kind of santorum involved, you're doing it wrong. Equally applicable to politics and sex. And anything else for that matter!
Posted by caliclimbergrl on June 7, 2011 at 1:12 PM · Report this
32
@ 30 -- they're already going to be associated with the person anyway. I'd rather be thought of as santorum than Santorum.
Posted by caliclimbergrl on June 7, 2011 at 1:14 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 33
@30, actually, that very issue was discussed way back when we were just contemplating re-imagining his name. Turns out 'Santorum' is an extremely uncommon name, so relatively few other people will be tarnished by the former senator's misdeeds and well deserved negative reputation. His own family, of course, but it isn't my fault they're related to a raging homophobic asshole.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on June 7, 2011 at 1:34 PM · Report this
very bad homo 34
@5 - I'd rather keep dicks out of Slog.
Posted by very bad homo on June 7, 2011 at 1:35 PM · Report this
onion 35
yeah, not to be nitpicky, but i will be: "tried" is a lot different from "do it regularly."
dan has a super great point - straight people do anal too. and straight guys fantasize about it like crazy. but that doesn't mean that they are doing it very frequently. So when you say "most of the buttfucking that goes on" you are talking about the AMOUNT of buttfucking...and I bet gays still have the straights beat on the amount bit.
Posted by onion on June 7, 2011 at 1:37 PM · Report this
36
@ 5,7, 8, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 22 and 23:

If I didn't know better, I'd suspect that somebody has an obessive interest in this topic.
Posted by Clayton on June 7, 2011 at 1:44 PM · Report this
37
@29

if homosexuality only occurred in women, gay marriage would've been legal in every state for the last 20 years.

notice how when the trolls obsess about gay sex, it's the man-on-man stuff they can't stop talking about?
Posted by Catface Meowmers on June 7, 2011 at 1:52 PM · Report this
Frau Blucher 38
@30 - You've posted that same drivel on another thread - repeat yourself much?

Actually, it is Rick Santorum who should have kept his bigoted mouth shut, then those poor widdel future Santorums wouldn't be saddled with the fallout from dumbass Rick.

If you're gonna complain about the ramifications, take it to the beginning. Not the end.
Posted by Frau Blucher on June 7, 2011 at 2:11 PM · Report this
39
@18 Oh look, . signed up for a new account.
Posted by redwulf25_ci on June 7, 2011 at 2:11 PM · Report this
40
I straight and I'm happy to say I just had anal w/ my bi GF the other day. The first time between us and my first time in a few years. Hooray for straight anal sex. No santorum for us. :)
Posted by Root on June 7, 2011 at 2:41 PM · Report this
41
I'm a straight woman, and my SO and I had anal sex before we ever had vaginal.
Posted by Amanda on June 7, 2011 at 3:03 PM · Report this
Chris in Vancouver WA 42
@ 17 - I'm not so sure. There have been a number of times in my life where I've had messes to clean up on my butt AND my tummy. If that ain't "doing it right", I don't know what is.
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on June 7, 2011 at 3:34 PM · Report this
RubyRyder 43
I'm a straight woman and I peg my SO every chance I get...
Wait, did I wander into the wrong thread here at the Slog?

My point - the poll didn't even stop to consider all those MALES who love receiving anal sex from their WOMEN...which qualifies as straight people having anal sex, too......
Posted by RubyRyder http://PeggingParadise.com on June 7, 2011 at 4:19 PM · Report this
lark 44
Dan,
I'm dubious of the poll. I've never had anal sex nor do I want to. And, given what you have mentioned about women performing oral sex (evidently they are more reluctant) I am doubtful they would agree to anal, a riskier act.

Look, I don't doubt straights engage in it but I simply doubt it is that high of a percentage in the general population.
Posted by lark on June 7, 2011 at 5:52 PM · Report this
45
46% of women in any age group who admit to having had anal sex. First, who admit to it--there's still some amount of shaming that prevents women from being totally honest about their sexual experience. Given a reasonable margin of less then honest reporting, I think we can reasonably expect that the real number is at least a few percentage points higher. Second, 46% of women does not automatically equate to 46% of men. If 46% of women have had anal sex, I would expect that the percentage of straight men who have engaged in anal sex is higher. Males age 30-44 report 6-8 sexual partners, while women of the same age report 4 sexual partners (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources…) it stands to reason that the higher number of sexual partners equates to a higher instance of oportunity for anal sex. I think just these 2 factors push us past the 50% mark.

For those who say that trying anal isn't the same as engaging in anal, at what point does one stop being considered an anal tourist and become a local? Orgasm achieved through anal penetration (for women)? 12 instances of anal intercourse? 1x per week? Do you realize how ridiculous it sounds to say 'you may have tried anal, but you don't really count'?
Posted by catballou on June 7, 2011 at 5:55 PM · Report this
Mrs. DePointe 46
Please tell me how it's possible to have regular anal sex while never encountering santorum.

Do you ram a bottlebrush up your ass before sex to keep things santorum-free? Use an enema every time? Keeping the externals squeaky clean doesn't ensure that there will be no fecal matter in the internal rectal canal, and I think using an enema every single time you want to fuck might break the mood just a liiiiitle bit.
Posted by Mrs. DePointe on June 7, 2011 at 9:09 PM · Report this
Canadian Nurse 47
@46: Part of it is lifestyle changes. Eating well (lots of fibre and stay well hydrated) and exercising regularly (particularly cardio) keeps most people's bodies in a good schedule. You want soft, but well-formed stools on a regular basis. If you regularly have stuff that requires straining to get out, or stuff that's super soft, you're more likely to have leftover faecal matter in your rectal canal.

If things are going well down there, a quick washup can often be enough. Also, if things are usually good in the bowel region, you can often tell when something's hinky and either avoid anal or use an enema as needed.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on June 7, 2011 at 9:58 PM · Report this
RubyRyder 48
Mrs. DP
A little physiology. Unless you have excrement in your rectal canal, which your body will let you know if that is the case (with the urge to go), there is normally little excrement in the rectum of a healthy person with a good diet. That is not where it "waits", so to speak. In fact, if your bodily functions move excrement down from the colon into the rectum in preparation for it to leave the body and you DON'T have a bowel movement (we've all been there), a reverse peristalsis will actually move it back up into the colon.
So it's not like you are plowing through s**t every time you fuck.
That's how.
Anal sex is not for germaphobes or clean freaks. You can keep your bottlebrush.
Posted by RubyRyder http://PeggingParadise.com on June 7, 2011 at 10:11 PM · Report this
49
My cycle determines whether I'm into anal sex. Pre-ovulation/ovulation I'm all about getting my husband's dick up my ass. Other times, I'm just not interested. The rule is, however, if he comes before I do, then he has to eat the santorum from my ass (no lube, just spit, pre-cum, shit, and spooge). We're a happy dom/sub couple, so it all works out.
Posted by Wife on June 8, 2011 at 10:47 AM · Report this
Canadian Nurse 50
@48:
Someone with very loose stools or very hard stools can have a little left "within reach" at times. That's why I was saying regularly having healthy stools matters.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on June 8, 2011 at 1:21 PM · Report this
51
@49 - why no lube?
Posted by EricaP on June 8, 2011 at 10:30 PM · Report this
52
@51 1) It's slimy. 2) It costs money. 3) It's not "natural" enough for me. I don't want to have a partially used, non-natural, reminder of spent money and slimy-ickiness in my nightstand all the time. Anyway, husband has a significant amount of pre-cum/prostatic fluid leakage, and combined with my own saliva there is plenty of lubrication for quality butt sex.
Posted by Wife on June 9, 2011 at 7:48 AM · Report this
53
ok, thanks.
Posted by EricaP on June 9, 2011 at 8:52 AM · Report this
54
@44 Based on anecdote and nothing but (cough), the differential, anal play being viewed considerably less favorably than oral, is more a matter of age than anything elsel. The younger the woman involved, the more likely that they will have a) tried anal play and b) enjoy it.

So the anal gap is closing ... or something like that.
Posted by TokenCanadian on June 9, 2011 at 12:10 PM · Report this
55
@35, you're forgetting the lesbians, everyone forgets us, even the trolls ignore as #37 pointed out!! Of course our stellar record of serial monogamy would skew his "stats" so I'm sure that's why he chooses to ignore us, like many phobes.

Anyway, I know they exist but I have known only one lesbians who engaged in anal sex in my 10 years of being out and she was dating an anti-anal girl so they weren't even engaging in it. I've heard of a few fingers in butts but that's about it. Also, isn't there a minority percentage of gay men who don't engage in anal. If you factor in the lesbians and the no-anal gays, I think the largest amount of butt sex is still being done by straights.
Posted by Lesbians are gay too... argh! on June 9, 2011 at 2:04 PM · Report this
Roma 56
2/bigyaz: Having "tried" anal sex, which is what was asked, is vastly different from having it regularly.

Absolutely. I'm sure the percentage of women who have it regularly is very small, much smaller than the percentage who have tried it because they're curious or, much more likely, to appease the desire of their husband/boyfriend. If women were as into it as men are, I'm sure a majority of hetero couples would be having it on a regular basis.

This makes perfect sense too. I doubt anal sex is uncomfortable for any straight man (assuming he's not being pegged) whereas it is painful or uncomfortable for many women.
Posted by Roma on June 10, 2011 at 9:58 AM · Report this
lark 57
@56 Roma,
Agree with you completely. I remain dubious of Dan's poll conclusion.
Posted by lark on June 10, 2011 at 11:11 AM · Report this
58
@51 Plus, saliva is a great way to introduce varieties of Herpes normally found only in the mouth into my rectum!
Posted by Wife on June 10, 2011 at 11:53 AM · Report this
Roma 59
Thanks lark.

On another note, I just read a comment of yours on a thread about the South Park rapist/murderer. I'm like you in that I'm a reluctant supporter of capital punishment. When I was young I was in favor of it, then I became opposed to it, and now I'm in-between. I think it should only be used in cases where the person convicted is clearly the right person (DNA evidence + other evidence + eyewitnesses) to avoid the horrible outcome of executing an innocent person but I'm comfortable having no moral problem with executing someone, like the South Park rapist/murderer, who is a vile human being who has viciously taken the life of another person. This is one area where I agree with Muslims. Unlike the argument of western liberal opponents of all capital punishment, they believe that executing a murderer does not put you on the same level as a person who has murdered. They believe that Allah condones execution as justice.
Posted by Roma on June 10, 2011 at 1:27 PM · Report this
i'm pro-science and i vote 60
What What, in the butt!!
Posted by i'm pro-science and i vote http://www.prettyopenended.com on June 10, 2011 at 3:34 PM · Report this
lark 61
@59 Roma,
Yep, that's about my stand on Capital Punishment as well. I like to think it should be used VERY rarely.
Posted by lark on June 10, 2011 at 3:47 PM · Report this
62
@58 LOL. We're both negative for herpes, but I'm sure there are any number of other viruses that my husband and I exchange. (This is what I get for posting anonymously...)
Posted by Wife on June 19, 2011 at 11:42 AM · Report this

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