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Friday, July 8, 2011

Lisa Dank Responds (Re: Hey, Give Me Back My Fucking Dog)

Posted by on Fri, Jul 8, 2011 at 6:57 PM

Lisa Dank just responded to the e-mail I sent her this morning, regarding the accusations that she was refusing to return the lost dog she found earlier this week.

After the booker at the Comet threatened to cancel Dank's appearance at the club tonight if she didn't return the dog, Dank tells me she will be meeting the owner in about an hour to give the dog back.

She says "perhaps the population would like to hear what actually happened," so her full response as to why she held on to the dog as log as she did is after the jump.

Hey megan,

Before I give this guy mel his dog back, perhaps the population would like to hear what actually happened that landed this dog in my arms.

On the eve of 4th of July my boyfriend and I set out on a long walk from Capitol Hill to Gasworks park so that I could erect a wheatpaste for the 4th. By the time we got there and finished the paste it was about 4 in the morning.

The moment we finished the paste, like a bat out of hell ran this little beast. He was running full speed (which is fast) to nowhere. He saw us and ran up to us-He was freezing cold and terrified. He had no collar on, we had to take him home. So we zipped him up into our jacket and walked home. He slept like an angel in the crux of my knee all night. The next morning was 4th of July and we both had to work so along came the dog. He had a breakfast of Mud Bay wet dog food, chilled on my lap at work, then kicked it all night.

He was quiet as a lamb during the fireworks.

Since finding him this dog will not let me leave his sight. I literally cannot go to the bathroom without him getting out of bed and following me. Everyone we meet because obviously he's been going everywhere with me keeps commenting on how much the dog loves me. Weird right?

Why have I not given the dog back to his rightful owner? Because I fear for the dog.

This dog is 2.5 years old and still has his balls on, his nails aren't clipped, he isn't tagged. He had diarrhea and kept sneezing. We have gone to the dog park for at least an hour every day since he found me and he is so poorly, inappropriately behaved with the other dogs. I really want to know what the hell this guy mel is doing with his dog! Why did he run away?

Mel sent me an email with embarrassing usage of quotation marks instead or apostrophes and spelled "Capitol Hill" "Capital Hill" which showed me this guy is somewhat of a moron and probably shouldn't own pets.

Then he sent me another saying the fireworks scared him, but there were no fireworks on the 3rd of July. He watched fireworks with us and didn't flinch. So now to me he is a liar. I don't trust this guy.

This dog is absolutely in love with me. If I didn't feel so strongly for this creature I wouldn't be putting my life and reputation on the line for it.

I spent all day yesterday on google scholar researching case studies regarding disputes such as this. Of course, common law is against my favor. It was worth a try.

I fucking love this dog and pray for him because I under no circumstances believe Mel is a fit owner. I am so afraid of what this guy is doing to this dog.

That said, I guess there is a warrant out for my arrest.

Bummer.

I'm meeting with Mel in an hour to give him back.

I hope everyone is happy now.

I love Musket. That's all.

I hope that helps.
Dank

Dank also just posted this to Twitter:

danktweet1.jpg

A day ago, she also posted this:

danktweet2.jpg

Update 8:03: Mel, the dog's owner, just e-mailed to say that Lisa has returned the dog. Welcome home, Benny!

 

Comments (203) RSS

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1
Are her 15 minutes up yet?
Posted by Bhamjason on July 8, 2011 at 7:05 PM · Report this
lindsey 2
anyone who's owned a dog knows that they get diarrhea from being STRESSED THE FUCK OUT. and the guy might use benny as a stud for breeders, which would require the use of his non-removed balls. (or maybe he just doesn't want to remove them, that's up to the fuckin' OWNER'S discretion and not as important as it is with, say, cats.) thank the spaghetti monster that the owner of the comet finally got through to her... girl's got a huge case of the crazies.
Posted by lindsey on July 8, 2011 at 7:07 PM · Report this
3
So Ms. Dank can't use a comma properly to save her life and fails at capitalization rules, but she decided to not give the guy his dog back in part because he misspelled Capitol Hill? If there's a literacy test for dog ownership, then she fails it as well.

Whatever condition the dog was in (the sneezing and diarrhea are likely due to his scary night out on the town, and dog owners are allowed to not neuter or manicure), it was still somebody else's dog. Deal with it, lady.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 8, 2011 at 7:10 PM · Report this
stinky 4
Who even knew that there was a spell-the-neighborhood test for pet ownership?
Posted by stinky on July 8, 2011 at 7:10 PM · Report this
ryanayr 5
She sure proved everyone wrong about her being a heinous, dog-thieving person.
Posted by ryanayr on July 8, 2011 at 7:13 PM · Report this
6
Dank had grammar errors too. Grammar does not determine whether or not the law applies to you.
Posted by Kettle calling the pot black on July 8, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 7
You guys, I can't take care of everybody's dogs. You're all going to have to learn how to spell.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on July 8, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
ryanayr 8
@3 - "tite"
Posted by ryanayr on July 8, 2011 at 7:14 PM · Report this
jjm84 9
Holy crap. She's a lunatic.
Posted by jjm84 on July 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 10
hey douchebag pet-thief; give the dog back and get over your self involved ass self.

christ, way to come of as even more petty and clueless. gah.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM · Report this
Last of the Time Lords 11
The next dog I find all I can say is KOREAN BBQ BABY!!!!
Posted by Last of the Time Lords on July 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM · Report this
Ernie1 12
If you are a grown woman in Seattle and you think that you can just keep someone's lost dog because you think you would be a better owner, then you are a moron and I don't feel sorry for you.
Posted by Ernie1 on July 8, 2011 at 7:17 PM · Report this
Baconcat 13
Abused dogs don't attach to other humans.

Lost dogs, however, do. Even the ones frightened by fireworks. In fact, the better-mannered July 4th weekend runaways often just hop into the arms of animal control officers once their excitement wears out.

Other things lost dogs doo? Shit themselves sideways. And for that I recall the time I watched a recovered dog. Friendly, energetic and total shitting-machine.
Posted by Baconcat on July 8, 2011 at 7:20 PM · Report this
care bear 14
It's not really up to you to decide if Mel is an unfit pet owner.
Posted by care bear on July 8, 2011 at 7:21 PM · Report this
Simac 15
If she had concerns about the dog, she should have reported (and should still report) them to the Humane Society, etc. Duh.
Posted by Simac on July 8, 2011 at 7:21 PM · Report this
16
This girl is an idiot.. she had to Google whether or not you can steal a dog? Wow. This guy spelling capitol wrong is looking pretty smart right about now...
Posted by kaitlin on July 8, 2011 at 7:21 PM · Report this
17
@13 I agree, abused dogs are afraid of EVERYONE, the last thing they would do is cling to a human. The dog was clingy because he's a fucking lost dog.
Posted by kaitlin on July 8, 2011 at 7:24 PM · Report this
Womyn2me 18
anthropomorphizing a dogs instant love should be a crime.
Posted by Womyn2me http://http:\\www.shelleyandlaura.com on July 8, 2011 at 7:24 PM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 19
I will happily provide this person a shovel and watch her keep digging.

I had the misfortune of experiencing one of her live sets once. This is sure to be FAR more entertaining.

Also: don't do drugs people. It makes your brain type emails such as the above.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 8, 2011 at 7:25 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 20
I agree with her on the "Capital Hill", at least.
Posted by undead ayn rand on July 8, 2011 at 7:26 PM · Report this
21
Ohhhh ok. Now it all makes sense.

You're a sociopath.

I learned about the signs and and symptoms of sociopaths on Google scholar.
Posted by Amanda on July 8, 2011 at 7:27 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 22
She is really stupid and ignorant of dog behavior. @ 13 absolutely has it right.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 8, 2011 at 7:28 PM · Report this
23
what a moran.
Posted by philosophy school dropout on July 8, 2011 at 7:28 PM · Report this
the man who couldn't blog 24
@10 has a typo in its post. Therefore, I demand pissy mcslogbot's dog. Gimme gimme gimme!
Posted by the man who couldn't blog http://happyrockisabook.tumblr.com on July 8, 2011 at 7:30 PM · Report this
25
Pot: "Kettle, you fuckin nasty-ass black and I don't feel bad for you in the least!"
Posted by juxtapose on July 8, 2011 at 7:31 PM · Report this
Baconcat 26
I kinda laughed imagining Lisa Dank researching the law. What would that Google search history look like?

keeping lost dog law

keeping lost dog law washington state

lost dog poops everywhere

fines for keeping lost dog

free attorney

funny cat pictures
Posted by Baconcat on July 8, 2011 at 7:31 PM · Report this
27
Yeah, @13 nails it. Only a dog that feels safe and secure around people is going to do that "OMGILOVEYOU" thing. An abused dog would have been much more wary.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 8, 2011 at 7:34 PM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 28
@24: I got ur dogg rite hear...
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on July 8, 2011 at 7:35 PM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 29
Also:
Before I give this guy mel his dog back, perhaps the population would like to hear what actually happened that landed this dog in my arms.

I want to hear what happened about as much as I give a shit about the story of how someone's stolen stereo "landed" in your arms.

Nobody gives a fuck. Fuck you. It's not yours. If you REALLY were worried about the dog's well being, you would have immediately called the Seattle Animal Shelter at: 206-386-PETS.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 8, 2011 at 7:37 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 30
She writes good spin. She should work for the Bachmann and/or Palin campaign.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on July 8, 2011 at 7:38 PM · Report this
Rotten666 31
What an insufferable twat.

Posted by Rotten666 on July 8, 2011 at 7:38 PM · Report this
very bad homo 32
The guy made a pretty common spelling error. I guess we should break into his house and steal all of his stuff, too. Obviously he deserves anything bad that happens to him.
Posted by very bad homo on July 8, 2011 at 7:40 PM · Report this
33
Yes Ms. Dank, thank you, it certainly helps. Helps us all understand how bat-shit crazy you really are.
Posted by juxtapose on July 8, 2011 at 7:41 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 34
Revisionist history. The nutbag freaked out when the Internet started hating her, so she started lying to make her look less monstrous.

Of course, there's still the (unlikely) possibility that these are two different dogs, so I'll wait for the rest of the story before going to her shows just to boo her.
Posted by Free Lunch on July 8, 2011 at 7:44 PM · Report this
35
One time I said 'Pike's Place Market' instead of "Pike Place Market" and Lisa wrote CPS and long story short, i can't foster kids anymore.
Posted by Dock Oc on July 8, 2011 at 7:47 PM · Report this
lindsey 36
@26 I just lol'ed.
Posted by lindsey on July 8, 2011 at 7:49 PM · Report this
37
I completely agree with you Miss Skank, he’s a moron. But if misspelling ‘capitol’ ought to preclude Mr. moron from pet ownership, your atrocious grammar should preclude you from breathing air.
Posted by juxtapose on July 8, 2011 at 7:50 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 38
@34 - Even if this isn't the dog we've all been talking about, it's not her dog. She has no right to keep it, and every time she opens her mouth, she makes herself look worse.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on July 8, 2011 at 7:51 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 39
@37 Yes, I think if Ms. Dank were to get her own dog, she'd be surprised to learn that they don't hand her a spelling/grammar test first.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on July 8, 2011 at 7:55 PM · Report this
Akbar Fazil 40
I love how she thinks it is vitally important to the story as to why she was at Gasworks.

Also, I don't know what country she thinks she lives in, but people launch fireworks on the 3rd, sometimes the second even. Definitely the 5th. I was up at 1am last night and someone set off a bunch 3 blocks away from my house.
Posted by Akbar Fazil on July 8, 2011 at 7:58 PM · Report this
41
Lisa Dank I hope you get booed the fuck out of Seattle tonight.
Not off stage, out of town. You are a disgrace.

You have no idea why the dog was in that condition.
OF COURSE the dog is going to be ill from stress.

The right thing to do would have been to return the dog and find out about the dog's health and then get animal services involved.

Instead you are a needy greedy bitch that took advantage of a terrified animal.

Lisa Dank is a dog napping bitch with no justification for her psychotic behavior.
google forever!
Posted by LisaDankGetOutOfSeattle on July 8, 2011 at 8:02 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 42
@ 40, the original post says the dog was "spooked by all the fireworks going off in his Wallingford neighborhood..." In other words, PERSONAL fireworks like firecrackers, roman candles, screaming fountains and the like. Not the fucking Lake Union show.

So if she honestly believes that he was lying about the fireworks, that shows a level of stupidity many times the magnitude of "Capital Hill."
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 8, 2011 at 8:03 PM · Report this
43
I adore the fact that she speaks of him being a moron for misspelling a word, while she has yet to grasp the concept of commas. Not to mention her truly bizarre use of vocabulary. The populace would like to know why she used the word population instead of populace. We would also like to know why she felt to need to clarify that full speed was fast.
Posted by Olfactory-Ventriloquism on July 8, 2011 at 8:04 PM · Report this
Shena Lee 44
This is insane!!
Also, it's not very responsible to take a dog whose history you know nothing about (shots, how they relate to other dogs) to the dog park....
Posted by Shena Lee http://www.shenalee.com on July 8, 2011 at 8:05 PM · Report this
Baconcat 45
Welcome home, Benny!

Go to hell, Dank.
Posted by Baconcat on July 8, 2011 at 8:13 PM · Report this
46
I saw a video once of 50cent telling Paris Hilton to get the FUCK off the stage when she tried to dance on it during his performance. For some reason this situation made me think of it. hmmm
Posted by jMFe on July 8, 2011 at 8:14 PM · Report this
47
@44 Not only does she know nothing of the dog's history, but she does know he hasn't been neutered! Yeah, an intact male dog with unknown history at the dog park. Brilliant plan.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 8, 2011 at 8:18 PM · Report this
LogopolisMike 48
Forget booing at her shows; y'all should show up and bark.
Posted by LogopolisMike http://logopolis.typepad.com on July 8, 2011 at 8:19 PM · Report this
Fnarf 49
@26, one of your better efforts there, Baconcat.

As for me, I still haven't seen any boobies, so I'm withholding judgement.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 8, 2011 at 8:23 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 50
I had already decided that this woman was a complete piece of shit after reading the first post. But wow, trying to spin stealing someone's dog so that she looks like the good guy? She's even worse than I thought.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on July 8, 2011 at 8:23 PM · Report this
DOUG. 51
This is great advertising for The Comet show. Hope it's packed.
Posted by DOUG. http://www.dougsvotersguide.com on July 8, 2011 at 8:26 PM · Report this
52
Dank? Isn't that Dutch for 'cunt'?
Posted by Your cunt sure is dank on July 8, 2011 at 8:29 PM · Report this
53
You know, if I found a dog or cat that had no collar and no one with it, I would take it home. And as soon as possible, I would post ads online and off saying "FOUND ANIMAL." I'd do what I could to find its owner. BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT SANE PEOPLE DO. You don't just decided the animal is abused - displaced animals are scared. WTF. Just..no.
Posted by Tori on July 8, 2011 at 8:31 PM · Report this
Y.F. Redux 54
Lisa Dank,

You are a big fat lying selfish nut bag. If you really cared so much about dogs (or any other pet) and wanted one, you'd have got your ass down to the humane society and rescued one sitting on death row. This animal had an owner. Keeping somebody else's pet is being selfish and spoiled.

p.s. Those who live in ill-punctuated houses should not cast stones at poor spellers.
Posted by Y.F. Redux on July 8, 2011 at 8:33 PM · Report this
55
Eve
Posted by Kent on July 8, 2011 at 8:37 PM · Report this
56
Instead of booing her, pelt her with dog food. Preferably the wet, stinky kind.
Posted by K3 on July 8, 2011 at 8:37 PM · Report this
57
Fireworks have been going off all week in my neighborhood, so its not unreasonable to assume that they were also going off the night before the 4th. And really, not having the dog neutered is not sufficient grounds for stealing it. Dank should've just been honest and admitted that she wanted to keep the dog because it was cute instead of insulting the owner's intelligence. She really comes off as a self-righteous, entitled human being.
Posted by context ender on July 8, 2011 at 8:46 PM · Report this
blip 58
Fucking WOW. There is something seriously wrong with you, lady.
Posted by blip on July 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM · Report this
59
Puts me in mind of Little Britain USA, when Mr. Doggie says to Phyllis, as she's being carted away by the police:

"You are one crazy bitch."
Posted by Quincent on July 8, 2011 at 8:54 PM · Report this
amberp 60
Isn't wheat paste illegal? If not, I'd like to go out on a limb and declare it, douchey bullshit. Fin.
Posted by amberp on July 8, 2011 at 8:55 PM · Report this
61
Wow. Practically all of you are TOTAL and COMPLETE assholes. Exclamation point! If I suspected that an animal was not being properly cared for, and by the way no tags, no owner in sight, untrimmed nails, extreme clinging behaviors, and lying would all set me off too (and anyone else with a soul), I wouldn't just hand it over either. Actually, fuck you guys. She comes off as a concerned person and that's it. And you all fucking suck big time.
Posted by Racing Turtles on July 8, 2011 at 9:01 PM · Report this
62
Fuck you Lisa Dank. I can't wait to meet you in person or have an iota of power or influence. I will use all of it to prevent people like you from having more than 4 people at your gigs. Can't wait till its a kid or baby you find next time and you send your amazing, insane texts/emails/twitters/etc out about how the "beast is scared and shitting." Serously. I haven't lived in Seattle in 10 years. You all have my permission to apply vigalelante internet justice to this unevolved freak. done. Jimbo
Posted by smithstreetjim on July 8, 2011 at 9:02 PM · Report this
Fnarf 63
@61, your argument almost makes sense up until the time it became clear that the actual owner of the dog was known and asking her for it back. Which is about three days of fail.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on July 8, 2011 at 9:09 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 64
@40 The important thing was that she had an onion on her belt.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on July 8, 2011 at 9:12 PM · Report this
65
A couple of a weeks ago a homeless person found a lost dog and kindly returned it to its worried owner. This week a self righteous douche finds a lost dog, sees the dog likes her and decides to steal it. What a fucking turd, its a dog of course it likes you, most well cared for dogs love everyone they meet. Stop justifying stealing someone pet you worthless excuse for a human being. The homeless man that called the worried owner is 100 times better a human being then you are you spoiled self indulgent brat.

Posted by j2patter on July 8, 2011 at 9:17 PM · Report this
66
Bitches be crazy. This is why I never let my dog out of my sight.
Posted by pyupyu on July 8, 2011 at 9:28 PM · Report this
tjc 67
@64 Which was the style at the time.
Posted by tjc on July 8, 2011 at 9:35 PM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 68
Great. Now she has twatted about committing ritual suicide, presumably as a joke. Because joking about suicide is so classy.

And she called the dog's owner whose pet she stole a "pervert moron."

Talk about an offensive and shameless.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 8, 2011 at 9:38 PM · Report this
69
Oh, no. The hate has her threatening to KILL HERSELF. Will that make you haters happy?! WILL IT?

http://twitter.com/#!/LisaDank/status/89…

Jesus Christ, the drama.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 8, 2011 at 9:38 PM · Report this
70
"perhaps the population would like to hear what actually happened"

"we zipped him up into our jacket"

I'd write something snarky, but I'm scared that Queen Lisa would have me beheaded.

Posted by Joe Glibmoron on July 8, 2011 at 9:42 PM · Report this
71
What the fuck is a wheatpaste?

Also, what an idiot.
Posted by JenV on July 8, 2011 at 9:43 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 72
Stay classy Lisa!
Posted by Gern Blanston on July 8, 2011 at 9:44 PM · Report this
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 8, 2011 at 9:45 PM · Report this
74
First of all, I can not believe I'm commenting on what is quite possibly the most unimportant piece of shit human since ______! (you fill in the blank of any z-list mocal-local want-to-be artists). Her actions are on par with her horrible music and sorority girl that decided to take her allowance money to buy pot because pot is SO REBELIOUS persona. ALL CLUBS AND VENUES I URGE YOU TO BLACK BALL LISA "SORORITY SISTER" SKANK! Save us the pain of having to avoid your venue because the black hole of bad art is there.
Posted by Throwtomatoesatherface on July 8, 2011 at 9:54 PM · Report this
75
@73 - I know what wheat paste is. But I still have no idea what is meant when she says she went to Gasworks to "erect a wheatpaste for the 4th."
Posted by JenV on July 8, 2011 at 10:12 PM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 76
@75: Your mistake was the attempt to glean meaning.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 8, 2011 at 10:18 PM · Report this
Foghorn Leghorn 77
@73 - Best. Thing. Evar!
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on July 8, 2011 at 10:20 PM · Report this
78
Lisa really thinks Capitol Hill is important.
Posted by 1995 on July 8, 2011 at 10:24 PM · Report this
79
@78 Well, according to Twitter, homonyms kill dogs. Lisa's just trying to save us.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 8, 2011 at 10:27 PM · Report this
TVDinner 80
@26: Genius, as usual.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 8, 2011 at 10:34 PM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 81
Mel sent me an email with embarrassing usage of quotation marks instead OR apostrophes and spelled "Capitol Hill" "Capital Hill" which showed me this guy is somewhat of a moron and probably shouldn't own pets.

I don't know if this typo is brilliantly ironic, or completely idiotic. Otherwise, GOOD SHOW.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on July 8, 2011 at 10:39 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 82
We should all back off. It really does come off as internet bullying here and people just piling on for the sake of piling on (and I say this as a loving dog owner who'd be fucking devastated to have been in the guy's position.) Anyway -- I think I could envision a scenario whereby she thought she was doing the right thing, even if there was some motivational self-interest also playing a role. Don't underestimate the appeal of a loving, lovable dog.

I could see an ill-informed, non pet owner misinterpreting a dog's affection as a sign of mistreatment at the hands of it's owner, especially an un-neutered one with lengthy nails. I'd not defend her actions of course, but there's a whole shitload of people doing a whole shitload worse things out there who aren't incurring the wrath & scorn this girl is.

Just kinda reminds me of the one fat, nerdy kid in high school whom EVERYONE picked on. Even the other fat nerds picked on this kid just to seem "cool" to the rest of the class (been thinking about that kid a lot lately, as he facebook friended me, and seems just as sad and miserable as ever. OK -- sorry for the tangent. Glad she gave the dog back & sincerely hope she doesn't kill herself.)
Posted by mikethehammer on July 8, 2011 at 10:42 PM · Report this
stinkbug 83
"On the eve of 4th of July my boyfriend and I set out on a long walk from Capitol Hill to Gasworks park so that I could erect a wheatpaste for the 4th. By the time we got there and finished the paste it was about 4 in the morning."

Walking those four miles should take two hours top, assuming you're slowly meandering with your bf and your wheat paste supplies.

So I'm curious how many hours you spent creating your wheat paste erection.
Posted by stinkbug on July 8, 2011 at 10:42 PM · Report this
TVDinner 84
Ok, so yesterday she tweeted glibly about not feeling bad for someone who misspells Capitol Hill, and then she tweeted some nonsense in all caps about not underestimating a young girl's heart? Because her love for the damn dog entitled her to keep it?

Holy shit, she's a selfish piece of work.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 8, 2011 at 10:46 PM · Report this
85
Dudes. Seattle is HILARIOUS. Here in NYC you know what happens when something like this goes on? Someone gets their ass beat. No protests at the local bar or this many comments in the local rag. Get a grip Seattle.
Posted by GloriaGaynor on July 8, 2011 at 10:52 PM · Report this
TVDinner 86
@82: You're right, of course. Asshole.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 8, 2011 at 10:53 PM · Report this
87
So Comet didn't cancel her?

Everybody get your dogshit ready...
Posted by dak7e on July 8, 2011 at 11:09 PM · Report this
88
what the fuck is wheatpaste?!
Posted by meg213 on July 8, 2011 at 11:10 PM · Report this
89
@ #85....Looking to get your ass beat?
Posted by "nyc" on July 8, 2011 at 11:17 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 90
@85
Which is why NYC is such a shit-hole. Get a grip, indeed.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on July 8, 2011 at 11:27 PM · Report this
91
I agree with @82. The dog is back, let's put down our torches and go back to what we we usually do in our online lives. @86, you sounds like a troll, so I'm sure you'll be here all night pissing in the wind. As for me, I'm going back to what I usually do on the Internet, watching sweaty naked chicks spit in each other mouths. See you all at the next effigy, folks.
Posted by oliverjones on July 8, 2011 at 11:29 PM · Report this
92
Her name is Juliane Popelka. Don't let her hide behind her stupid alias - "Lisa Dank" is Juliane Popelka. Juliane Popelka stole a dog. Juliane Popelka is trying to absolve herself of her crime. "Lisa Dank" - Juliane Popelka is a dog-thieving bitch.
Posted by K3 on July 8, 2011 at 11:31 PM · Report this
TVDinner 93
@92: We've had our fun. It's time to stop.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 8, 2011 at 11:32 PM · Report this
94
And Here I Thought Stoners Were 'Nice' People!!!
Way To Fight The Stereotype Ms Dank!

She Makes Me Go : YUK!

/ignore forever
Posted by Not A Fan on July 8, 2011 at 11:36 PM · Report this
95
Somebody claimed that she said she found the dog near the Hurricane.
Posted by Liarpantsonfire on July 8, 2011 at 11:40 PM · Report this
stinkbug 96
I have dibs on writing a script for "Gone Benny Gone", a canine crime drama-mystery musical, starring whichever Affleck the studio can afford.
Posted by stinkbug on July 8, 2011 at 11:45 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 97
i'm glad i don't have a dog anymore.
Posted by Max Solomon on July 8, 2011 at 11:50 PM · Report this
98
"Pop star finds lost dog and is nice to it for several days."

Truly the crime of the century.
Posted by Sahoyah on July 8, 2011 at 11:52 PM · Report this
99
Douchebag @92: We don't fucking ask people to attack other people just because they act like fucktards. People who post contact information about other people online should be kicked in the junk until they have no sex organs left.
Posted by zebet on July 8, 2011 at 11:53 PM · Report this
seatackled 100
@99

It's pretty much been a lynch mob all day, and it wasn't going to get anything but worse.
Posted by seatackled on July 8, 2011 at 11:59 PM · Report this
101
@98: Not to be pedantic, but In what universe is she a pop star? And swiping someone else's lost dog is hardly "being nice."
Posted by MaybeLater on July 9, 2011 at 12:15 AM · Report this
102
If you REALLY were worried about the dog's well being, you would have immediately called the Seattle Animal Shelter at: 206-386-PETS.
Posted by tussinextreme on July 9, 2011 at 12:30 AM · Report this
103
Dear Lisa Dank,
Seriously, don't kill yourself.
Posted by kathy. on July 9, 2011 at 12:48 AM · Report this
Janell8me 104
I really doubt that out of the city of seattle or the scene she runs in, one hundred something comments should be so devastating to a "pop star". The girl wants to be noticed and now she's just like every other celeb who gets some negative attention. If Brit Brit can live through it I'm positive Lisa can as well. Although I regretably Judge Brittany as much better talent than this girl.
I love that this city has a real conscience and we feel that our hundred negative voices may have an impact on someone's life but must agree with the earlier statement that there are much better things to be doing..
She's still a talentless no class hack though!
I'm just sayin'
Posted by Janell8me on July 9, 2011 at 1:13 AM · Report this
biju 105
This dog is going to make the cover of next weeks stranger or I'll eat my filas
Posted by biju on July 9, 2011 at 1:14 AM · Report this
106
Lisa, I'm not sure if you're aware of this... But, male dogs are born with balls... So, I seriously can't see how that realistically applies to you wanting to keep the dog... Oh, and a persons lack of grammar doesn't define whether or not they are capable of owning a pet(especially, if they missed one letter).... You are coming up with the worst excuses to keep some one else's dog.

The dog, MOST LIKELY, while on the run, ate something foreign to his general diet(like most dogs will), and got sick from it. Dogs get the hiccups the same way you and I do(along with every other mammal on this planet).

You just made yourself a public idiot. This has got to be the most incompetent complaint I've ever read. Way to go!

If you want a dog, that bad, go buy one... Stealing is no no.
Posted by Lali on July 9, 2011 at 1:27 AM · Report this
107
Lisa, I'm not sure if you're aware of this... But, male dogs are born with balls... So, I seriously can't see how that realistically applies to you wanting to keep the dog... Oh, and a persons lack of grammar doesn't define whether or not they are capable of owning a pet(especially, if they missed one letter).... You are coming up with the worst excuses to keep some one else's dog.

The dog, MOST LIKELY, while on the run, ate something foreign to his general diet(like most dogs will), and got sick from it. Dogs get the hiccups the same way you and I do(along with every other mammal on this planet).

You just made yourself a public idiot. This has got to be the most incompetent complaint I've ever read. Way to go!

If you want a dog, that bad, go buy one... Stealing is no no.
Posted by Lali on July 9, 2011 at 1:29 AM · Report this
108
Lisa Dank hates handicapped people!!!
If that was my dog I would have had to be committed to a mental hospital.

What fucking kind of crazy bitch keeps someone's dog and says "it's kismet"
CRACK FUCKING HEAD ecstasy whore that's who
Posted by LisaDankHatesHandicappedPeople on July 9, 2011 at 1:30 AM · Report this
109
What. A. Fucking. Cunt.

I have a Yorkie that I watch like a goddamned hawk when we're out because my biggest fear if he ever got away from me is not that he'd encounter a bigger, meaner dog or get hit by a car or something, but that some self-absorbed asshole would just decide to take him home and keep him.

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell on July 9, 2011 at 1:41 AM · Report this
110
I don't really think her actions deserve a lynch mob..I'm not taking her side either...my dog is mean to other dogs, he has no social normalcy and I am too lazy to clip his nails. He follows me around everywhere too, he's really skittish, that's just his breed. BUT he is tagged, chipped and I don't abuse him. Even though I can guarantee you if I go to grab him, he pulls back and I raise my voice to him, he will act like I beat the crap out of him...SO anyone would think that I might be a bad pet owner. I don't see why she should be burned on the stake...Yeah so she made a mistake by not giving the dog back right away, she was concerned. Go figure.
Posted by wow23 on July 9, 2011 at 1:43 AM · Report this
111
Dank, you fucked up and made it one million times worse with this post. You're on some Charlie Sheen shit with this bullshit. Cut it out.
Posted by kerri harrop http://generalbonkers.com on July 9, 2011 at 1:46 AM · Report this
112
It's hard to turn away love.
Posted by BenY on July 9, 2011 at 2:32 AM · Report this
levide 113
Dank 1 - Minchin 0
Posted by levide on July 9, 2011 at 2:35 AM · Report this
114
so what happened at the fucking show?!
Posted by paulus on July 9, 2011 at 3:30 AM · Report this
115
Did she take the dog to a veterinarian or the shelter to get it scanned for a microchip? Even if there's no collar, many dogs are 'chipped' and can be identified & returned home by that. I would HOPE that anyone who found one of my dogs (if they ever managed to get separated from me .. and there are many ways that could happen) would take the dog in to be scanned.

Never worried about this with my first dog - he's a big shepherd mix and mopey if apart from me (this is what I hear from the people I've asked to look after him in the past). Probably would worry about it with the dog I just adopted from the shelter, since she's smaller & seems to attract more attention.
Posted by L73 on July 9, 2011 at 3:53 AM · Report this
Aurora Erratic 116
What? He's a bad speller so he shouldn't have a dog? What an asshole this Dank person is.
Posted by Aurora Erratic http://www.finemesspottery.com on July 9, 2011 at 4:50 AM · Report this
117
I opened the comments only to see what the hell wheatpaste was, and why one needed to be erected for the 4th? at 4AM? at Gasworks park? and. . . how can you "kick it all night" if the story starts at 4AM? so confusing!

well anyhoo. . . at least she didn't sanctimoniously steal someone's baby.
Posted by Lady Ga Ga on July 9, 2011 at 6:04 AM · Report this
118
The best course of action if it appears that any animal is being abused or not taken care of is to turn it over to the Humane Society and let them make that determination. There are a lot of owners of animals who mistreat them. Lisa did take care of the dog and appeared to be concerned for it's safety. That is not a bad thing. It seems genuine that Lisa from her perspective had real concerns about the dogs well being. She had good intentions just the wrong way of acting upon them. Refusing to not give the dog back and not turning it over to a impartial third party such as the Humane Society is a poor decision. People are not perfect and all this hate seems over the top.
Posted by Kroesen on July 9, 2011 at 6:09 AM · Report this
119
She is a nice girl who was nice to a lost dog for a few days. The dog was in poor shape when she found it and the owner's story didn't quite add up. Why the public shaming?
Posted by KFarrell on July 9, 2011 at 7:38 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 120
wheatpaste is the glue you use to stick posters to other surfaces. a Lisa Dank wheatpaste would be several of her posters, perhaps promoting last night's show, stuck to a prominent surface near Gasworks Parks, so it would be seen by the multitudes. basically, another advert in a blizzard of signs.
Posted by Max Solomon on July 9, 2011 at 7:46 AM · Report this
Jubilation T. Cornball 121
That chick sucks.
Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball on July 9, 2011 at 7:57 AM · Report this
Allyn 122
By her theory, if my child wandered away from me and attached to a kind stranger, Lisa would feel justified in keeping and raising her?

So, note to myself: keep kid's nails trimmed (you know, Just In Case) and if she gets lost, don't bother trying to find her, she's probably found a better home.
Posted by Allyn on July 9, 2011 at 7:59 AM · Report this
onion 123
A dog having balls is not a sign of abuse. It really just isn't. Thinking it is abusive to let a dog keep its equipment is taking things way too far. Even if it has untrimmed nails. Diarrhea? I know completely happy, well-cared for dogs that get diarrhea at the drop of a hat.
This woman probably has never seen a that's been genuinely abused. And yeah to the point about the clingyness - I lived with a dog that had been abused (severely beaten) in the past and when it first met anyone it fucking HATED YOU OR WAS TERRIFIED.
Posted by onion on July 9, 2011 at 8:05 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 124
@ 82, see @ 63.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 8:11 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 125
@ 110, see @ 63.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 8:14 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 126
@ 119, see @ 63.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 8:15 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 127
To all the folks who think this is a witch hunt, it's OK to have a witch hunt when there's an actual witch involved. She stole this guy's dog (that's what it's called when you refuse to return something once its rightful owner claims it).
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on July 9, 2011 at 8:23 AM · Report this
Masi 128
Is this a reality show?
Posted by Masi on July 9, 2011 at 8:44 AM · Report this
129
Not sure what she found googling "common law" regarding dog napping. Criminal law is probably the more apprpriate catagory unless she wanted to go to civil court and sue for finders keepers rights.

I have had to drug my dog for four days this year to keep him from digging holes in the walls and cold sweats. It's a bith when the fourth is on a Monday.

@26 perfect picture of Dank.

Although even though I am a bad speller my self, "Capital Hill" is a strike for me it's not enough to forfiet dog owner rights.
Posted by wl on July 9, 2011 at 9:03 AM · Report this
Ernie1 130
Some of the comments indicate that there might be a lack of understanding about what to do if you find a lost dog without tags or other identification.

1. If you're comfortable caring for dogs you can take it home, otherwise take it to the Seattle Animal Shelter. If you feel that the dog might be abused, take it to the shelter.

2. Put a post on craigslist with a picture and description.

3. Call the shelter, give them a description, and your contact info. Also call vet offices in the area where the dog was found.

4. Take the dog to a vet and have it scanned for a microchip.

It's important to note that if Ms. Dank wasn't a known "celebrity" who was SEEN with the dog, the owner would have never seen Benny again. That's f'd up.
Posted by Ernie1 on July 9, 2011 at 9:07 AM · Report this
131
And you know what's really too bad? Is that Lisa has the power to stop this at any point. If she just wrote back Megan and said something like "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. The truth is I really liked the dog and I made up some excuses for why I should keep him but the reality is I was just being selfish. I'm sorry for any stress I caused Mel and Benny." then all of this would end immediately and we'd all probably have a much better view of her. The problem is that instead she makes up all of these bullshit excuses for stealing the dog, tweets about how awful the owner is without ever having met him, says she doesn't have any sympathy for someone who can't spell then turns around and asks for sympathy for herself. Hey Lisa, if you're reading, just give a heartfelt apology free from excuses; I think that's what everyone is looking for. Oh, and you might want to change your stage name.
Posted by bassplayerguy on July 9, 2011 at 9:14 AM · Report this
juan_martinez 132
I find t odd that nobody has questioned her need to "erect a wheatpaste". I have NO idea what that could mean and it sounds so much more disturbing than dognapping.
Posted by juan_martinez on July 9, 2011 at 9:16 AM · Report this
Josh Bomb 133
sorry, Lisa WHO??
Posted by Josh Bomb http://www.satanosphere.com on July 9, 2011 at 9:22 AM · Report this
134
Perhaps Gregg's Greenlake Cycle should re-think having her on staff and bringing stolen dogs to work to chill on her lap.
Posted by SeattleSeven on July 9, 2011 at 9:36 AM · Report this
135
. Perhaps this was all just a publicity stunt? Clearly a narcissist like she is must be getting off on all the attention.

At least she has had her balls removed.
Posted by sostaine on July 9, 2011 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Paul Pearson 136
The Crocodile tweeted: "Lisa Dank is officially barred from ever playing the Crocodile again. On some Charlie Sheen bullshit. Not cool."
Posted by Paul Pearson on July 9, 2011 at 9:54 AM · Report this
mikethehammer 137
@124 matt (& others),

Yeah, I've read every post. And re-read mine, I'm not defending her. What she did was manipulative and wrong, at best. She had ample opportunity to right that wrong and missed/ignored it.

That said, the internet (and comment threads, in particular) can be incomparably cruel and reductive in nature. I think the amount of backlash here has been disproportionate to the nature of the crime (and like I said, I'm a dog owner/lover. Hell, I worked & volunteered for the Humane Society for years.)

And with regard to neutering... No, it's not inherently "cruel" to not have your dog fixed. It is, however, universally regarded to be to the betterment of the pet population at large to do so. You won't get out the door of any Humane Society w/ an un-neutered cat/dog (or at the very least a signed agreement to do so.) And Mel wasn't a breeder. So in this regard, it can be just one of many, many factors that can be taken into consideration when assessing a pet owner. The lack of a collar is another potentially big one, IMHO. See the other Stranger thread on this topic for a post from Mel thanking a tearful Lisa for returning Benny and a commitment on his part to have him neutered.

Yeah, my point was really more about the internet and this sort of juvenile mentality which seems to set in whenever a thread of this nature turns up. She's obviously aware at this point that she was wrong and is widely despised. While I can't possibly imagine she's reading these comments, it just seems as if people are unnecessarily piling onto a person who's obviously already distraght.

It's a beautiful day -- let's get ouside & enjoy it.
Posted by mikethehammer on July 9, 2011 at 10:08 AM · Report this
138
Wow, her side of the story makes her look like an insufferable bitch too! Oh, and get that damn dog neutered and he won't run away. Just a thought.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on July 9, 2011 at 10:12 AM · Report this
139
It's of course not right to steal someone's dog, but if Dank's allegations are true perhaps the owner needs to be dealt with.
Posted by Weekilter on July 9, 2011 at 10:13 AM · Report this
140
@137

"See the other Stranger thread on this topic for a post from Mel thanking a tearful Lisa for returning Benny"

Which is all fine and good except that she also called him a perverted moron who doesn't deserve to own a pet. It's not the part about her liking dogs that people object to it's all the other insulting, self righteousness that people object to. If she just apologized then people would't care and then she'd be much less distraught. Much of this is in her power to control.
Posted by bassplayerguy on July 9, 2011 at 10:18 AM · Report this
141
@85: You're right Gloria. We should resort to acting like rabid animals the instant anything outrages us, because that's what civilized people do.

Do us a favor and keep your violent self in NY.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on July 9, 2011 at 10:19 AM · Report this
142
@106 @107: I don't know if you know this (obviously you don't) but unfixed male animals tend to wander more than their neutered counterparts. All those extra hormones and whatnot.

Neutering his dog would have saved Mel this entire ordeal.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on July 9, 2011 at 10:21 AM · Report this
143
This is how rock legends are created.
Posted by fuzzbob on July 9, 2011 at 10:32 AM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 144
@142: because it's the victim of theft who is to blame in this situation.

If someone steals your car, it's your fault for having a nice car.

If someone rapes you, it's your fault for being sexy or wearing sexy clothing.

The next time you have a thought, just let it go...
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 9, 2011 at 10:49 AM · Report this
145
Burn the witch!
Posted by I've eaten dog...twice on July 9, 2011 at 11:05 AM · Report this
146
I can't wait to see the mob reaction when u find someone like me who has eaten dog and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Posted by Buuurrrrrp! on July 9, 2011 at 11:08 AM · Report this
147
Thank god she didn't find a kid instead...
Posted by subwlf on July 9, 2011 at 11:11 AM · Report this
148
@136: "136
The Crocodile tweeted: "Lisa Dank is officially barred from ever playing the Crocodile again. On some Charlie Sheen bullshit. Not cool."

That's pretty dumb considering the attention-getting stunts Mad Rad gets away with.

Charlie Sheen bullshit? Really?
Posted by really, Croc? on July 9, 2011 at 11:21 AM · Report this
149
Slobberbone said it best in their song "Gimme Back My Dog" http://www.amazon.com/gp/dmusic/media/sa…
Posted by droers on July 9, 2011 at 11:50 AM · Report this
150
Does she have a wart?
Posted by Buuuuurrrrrn the witch! on July 9, 2011 at 11:51 AM · Report this
151
I have not had the displeasure of hearing Ms Dank, and do not know what she looks like---until I just checked out some photos on the internet highway.... and I'm pretty sure that she was in the back of the bar at Big Mario's on Wed. night, dragging the dog around. She seemed to be all cracked out, quite high and sometimes oblivious to the fact that she had a little dog on her lap. I was almost going to befriend her and ask about the dog and give her some tips on dog ownership and then probably get all pissed off and sad about the predicament....If this was indeed the dog in question--and by seeing the picture of the dog on the flyer-it was--- then I'm extremely happy that this pooch is home. Thanks to the Croc for shutting this "performer" down, and the next time I see her playbills plastered on phone poles everywhere, I'll take my dog Burt for along walk and remove every one of them.
Posted by Bev on July 9, 2011 at 12:04 PM · Report this
152
She lost my sympathy as soon as she bitched (pun intended) that people who can't spell don't deserve pets. She is a moran.
Posted by Dennis R. White on July 9, 2011 at 12:08 PM · Report this
153
The minute I read "Mel sent me an email with embarrassing usage of quotation marks instead or apostrophes and spelled "Capitol Hill" "Capital Hill" was the minute I lost all sympathy for her snobby, arrogant, holier-than thou attitude. Her smarmy conclusion that people who can't spell don't deserve to own dogs shows me it's Lisa Dank who is the moran. She's also a thief.
Posted by Dennis R. White on July 9, 2011 at 12:17 PM · Report this
154
I don't quite get the loathing here. Yes, she should have immediately called the Humane Society. But other than that, I'm not entirely sure why she's deserving of all the hate. Some douchebag didn't properly license his dog and, unless the dog is used for breeding, wasn't responsible enough to have it fixed. Hopefully he learned his lesson and at least gets the dog a collar and a license, if not a chip.

Most of the comments here are just disgusting. Whatever she did or didn't do, the commenters here are a hundred times worse.
Posted by cmsof on July 9, 2011 at 12:37 PM · Report this
155
That guy should be reported to the humane society for animal abuse for letting his uncollared dog alone during the 4th. At least she was cool enough to take care of the critter.
Posted by Yes I am going there on July 9, 2011 at 12:41 PM · Report this
156
155: It wasn't the 4th, it was the 3rd. And sure, report the guy all you want. But give him his fucking dog back.

Everyone who's considered excessive coke use a possible component of this whole drama, from the kismety dog meeting to lashing out against the victim on Twitter: I think you're on to something.
Posted by SheTotallyHasAWart on July 9, 2011 at 12:51 PM · Report this
157
@125 I already did see @63 and I still made my comment on @110...Get a life
Posted by wow23 on July 9, 2011 at 12:58 PM · Report this
Paul Pearson 158
@154 - She stole a dog. Whatever the owner's failings might have been in the area of responsible dog ownership, attempting to rectify such failings through canine vigilantism is uncalled for at best.

I'll leave out my thoughts regarding the blatantly naïve self-absorption of the Dance-Pop Dogsavers' Justice Union (membership: one) since that seems to have been covered here in capital fashion. (Pun not just intended, but spell-checked.)
Posted by Paul Pearson on July 9, 2011 at 1:01 PM · Report this
159
For all we know the owner may have already had the dog castrated, and had Neuticles put in place of the original equipment. How can one also assume that the dog's owner does not intend to breed the animal?
Posted by sensibility on July 9, 2011 at 1:02 PM · Report this
ajbbv 160
i still wonder why the dog got loose. i have no pity for either of them except the hatred i hear from ppl from wallingford. you all need to get a life please and worry about yr own life.
Posted by ajbbv http://www.ajbbv.com on July 9, 2011 at 1:16 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 161
@ 154, see @ 63.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 1:35 PM · Report this
162
Here's what she's posted on her twitter (http://twitter.com/#!/lisadank):

@Lisa Dank: In case u were wondering, the dog is back with his pervert moron owner and I go on at midnight if you want to come call me a cunt to my face.

This is about the theft of someone's pet. People trying to make this about the dog's owner are simply continuing the abusive strategy contrived by Lisa Dank to justify keeping the dog.
Posted by Edward on July 9, 2011 at 2:00 PM · Report this
163
If you see a kid getting smacked by their parent in a grocery store do you step in? I'm sure Dan Savage has been guilty of this from time to time. She was liberating the dog from it's asshole owner. She had every right.
Posted by She only did what was right on July 9, 2011 at 2:03 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 164
@ 162, that's not her twitter page. This is.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 2:23 PM · Report this
Captain Wiggette 165
@154: I fail to understand how legally protected free speech is "a hundred times worse" than criminal theft.
Posted by Captain Wiggette on July 9, 2011 at 2:23 PM · Report this
166
WOW. She is six shades of crazy. Not that that is an original thought on this board.

But I had a chocolate lab for 15 years that I loved to death. But then most pet owners love their animals in the same way.

I would have been a basket case if I had been in his shoes.
Posted by Global Traveler on July 9, 2011 at 2:24 PM · Report this
lilmonster206 167
Capital Hill is with an O? Shit.
Posted by lilmonster206 on July 9, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 168
Whoops. Somehow I thought the addresses for these pages were case sensitive, but that's not the case. She really tweeted what @ 162 said? Christ almighty.

I've wasted enough time on this. All I can say is that I don't understand anyone who thinks she hasn't earned all this shit.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 9, 2011 at 2:25 PM · Report this
169
Other than the obvious comments (which I agree with--that lady obviously shouldn't be throwing any grammar/punctuation jabs at Mel), I applaud her for doing the right thing and taking the scared pooch home. However, my real question is this: What the fuck does "erecting a wheatpaste" entail?
Posted by HaveAGreatDane on July 9, 2011 at 2:38 PM · Report this
170
What to Do When the Internet Hate Machine Lands on You
A Public Service Announcement for the Lisa Danks of the World

1) The majority of people are not actually out for your blood. Yes, it looks scary to see all of those negative comments at first, but take a deep breath and then look closer. The grand majority are going to be discussing the matter, rather than actively attacking. That may not be fun and may bruise your ego, but it's not that bad. If there are any crazies who are actually threatening you, obviously you need to take that into consideration, but realize that an Internet death threat (or in this case, dog food threat) is as easy to fire off as a smiley face.

2) When you apologize or otherwise make a statement, do not bluster. Do not try to justify what you've done. Do not point fingers. Just humbly apologize. Arrogance--particularly unjustified arrogance--will only feed the Hate Machine.

3) If you're not apologizing, keep your mouth shut. Posting on Twitter that your victim (stealing from someone makes that person your victim, BTW) is a perverted moron is not going to help matters. Grace under fire is about acting classy. It is not about acting like a pouty Junior High Mean Girl.

If you keep calm, apologize humbly, and then keep your damn mouth shut people will move on quickly. A few trolls and nuts might still poke at you, but the majority of the Internet Hate Machine is motivated by wanting to humble wrongdoers. Humble yourself and then shut up and it passes in the blink of an eye.
Posted by Zuulabelle http://www.mellophant.com on July 9, 2011 at 3:16 PM · Report this
noirony 171
@154 yah it's like Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" here in the Slog village.
Posted by noirony on July 9, 2011 at 4:27 PM · Report this
WALKMAN 172
check out Tony Burns dropping a WHO LET THE DOGS OUT / LISA DANK mix last night @ the wildrose: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY42nre0O…
Posted by WALKMAN http://cbabc.com/hooker on July 9, 2011 at 5:04 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 173
I can't possibly imagine it was really a publicity stunt. But I gotta say that if it was, it was admirably ballsy & batshit crazy. Unfortunately, a distant second in terms of ballsy publicity stunts to have been perpetrated this year, as the Vancouver girl who doused herself in acid a few months ago really set the bar impossibly high.
Posted by mikethehammer on July 9, 2011 at 5:44 PM · Report this
174
If my dog happened to get lost I have no doubt that she would whore herself out to the first person to give her a bowl of kibble. This doesn't mean that she's abused. It means that she is a chubby, well adjusted lab. Perhaps Ms. Dank should learn something about dogs before stealing one.
Posted by owner of a chubby whore-dog on July 9, 2011 at 7:37 PM · Report this
Hawke 175
The hate is because she felt perfectly justified in keeping what she stole.
Posted by Hawke http://facebook.com/thehawke on July 9, 2011 at 8:09 PM · Report this
176
I can't believe this went so far. Lisa Dank is a complete idiot and should have given the dog back and kept her stupid mouth shut.
Posted by Audreyo on July 9, 2011 at 8:33 PM · Report this
177
She's a twat and deserves all the hate. Just like Britney. Horrible music and even worse PR.
Posted by Get friggin real on July 9, 2011 at 10:49 PM · Report this
178
You all are morons, and it's just a fucking dog. And yes, I see the irony of being the 178th person to comment on this. Suck it.
Posted by steakhaus on July 10, 2011 at 3:35 PM · Report this
179
I'm imagining the amount of time she's been waiting to use the word "crux" in a sentence.
Posted by Casual_Observer on July 10, 2011 at 6:31 PM · Report this
180
Love how she's trying to spin this into having "hella power", too.

Spend all the time you want marketing your terrible pop act toward the gay men of Seattle (no one gives two shits about you outside of this city), but the moment you mess with their dogs, you're losing their dollar/loyalty/attention.

Also, God bless the Croc for banning her, but it's not like that was ever all that much of a viable option for her. If a smaller place suited to her D-rate pop would ban her (howdy, Comet and Nectar), then she'd actually have some worrying to do about her "career". Kudos to the Comet owner for stepping up and running damage control on all sides and giving an ultimatum that actually made something happen in this situation. I was looking forward to hearing about the showering of dog biscuits. Did anyone actually go to the show? I'm amazed we haven't seen a full report.

Now, here's hoping the dog and his owner are following each other around and bathing in the luxurious cruxes of each other, and Lisa Dank can go back to modeling bongs in head shop ads.
Posted by Casual_Observer on July 10, 2011 at 6:57 PM · Report this
care bear 181
I'm disappointed that even with all this controversy this post still isn't the most commented.
Posted by care bear on July 10, 2011 at 7:33 PM · Report this
182
@120: Thank you for the explanation. That was really bothering me.
Posted by Susan on July 10, 2011 at 7:52 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 183
An apology is a powerful thing. A good one would probably get you back in the Croc and the other venues that are sure to ban you.

Hint: your apology should include accusing the man whose pet you stole of being an animal abuser and a pervert.
Posted by Free Lunch on July 10, 2011 at 10:23 PM · Report this
Noadi 184
Just going to chime in to agree with what a lot of posters have already stated: abused dogs are not friendly dogs. My dog was neglected by her previous owners and it took months of effort and TLC to get her over her worst problems. Now she's a happy healthy dog but every so often I run into something that's a trigger for her, for example I can't keep a normal flyswatter around because she will cower and pee on the floor if she sees one (instead I have one of the electric ones that looks like a tennis racket because thankfully no one beat her with one of those).

A couple years ago I found an adorable boxer running down the road with no collar on (turned out he'd slipped his collar and gone chasing after a bird). He was incredibly friendly and my dad was going to keep him if his owners weren't found by either animal control or the two local animal hospitals we called. We would have been sad to see Rocky go but it was hard to be anything but happy when we saw how happy he and his owners were to be reunited. A real animal lover would understand the bond between a caring owner and his dog and never come between it.
Posted by Noadi http://noadi.net on July 11, 2011 at 1:03 AM · Report this
185
@13, 17, etc

Abused dogs try to get close to humans all the time. As do lost dogs, neglected dogs, stray dogs, even semi-feral dogs. Some are fearful, some are highly reactive, some are disinterested, some are aggressive, some are hyperactive, of course. But wanting to establish a relationship with humans is fundamental to the dog - among other things, it's what makes a dog, a dog, and not a funny-shaped wolf.

Last week I worked with a pit bull that had been chained up in a basement for two years. TWO YEARS. She hasn't been in the shelter for long, and it's stressful for her; she's very fearful, very reactive. I took her outside for a little walk, sat down a few feet away, shut up, and in two minutes she'd approached me, and in less than five she'd crawled into my lap. She's a great dog - still reactive and fearful as all get out, but she just wants peace and quiet and someone to cuddle her.
Posted by TokenCanadian on July 11, 2011 at 10:05 AM · Report this
186
WHAT HAPPENED AT THE SHOW?
Posted by StrangerFan on July 11, 2011 at 10:25 AM · Report this
187
Why boo/bark/whatever at her shows?

Instead, don't go. If you already have tickets, tell the venue you want a refund.

Call all venues she's booked at and tell them you won't support venues that support dog-nappers.

Putting an end to her bookings is a great way to shut this douchetard up.
Posted by joemomma on July 11, 2011 at 11:25 AM · Report this
in-frequent 188
it is now.
Posted by in-frequent on July 11, 2011 at 11:41 AM · Report this
wilbur@work 189
56 - why bother opening the can?
Posted by wilbur@work on July 11, 2011 at 12:36 PM · Report this
190
My experience is that ~90% of the emails and texts I receive have misspellings in them. Replace dog with child and Miss Dank would be the orphanage of the world. We know she's qualified due to her awesome and superior grammar skills.

I wonder if she's the same caring person who took my cat from the bottom step of our apartment building on Queen Anne. It looked onto the 7-11 parking lot.
Posted by James Philpott on July 11, 2011 at 1:47 PM · Report this
Geni 191
Leg To Stand On Not Found. Please Re-Enter Lame Justification:
Posted by Geni on July 11, 2011 at 2:26 PM · Report this
michael strangeways 192
I'm just happy Nancy Grace hasn't heard about this...the shit would FLY!
Posted by michael strangeways http://www.seattlegayscene.com/ on July 11, 2011 at 2:43 PM · Report this
193
Please micro-chip your pets. AND keep your contact information updated.

If you find a pet, take it to a vet or animal hospital for a free micro-chip scan immediately. The animal may have special needs, medications, etc. and the sooner you can return it to its owner, the better.

Please micro-chip your pets.
Posted by visitor100 on July 11, 2011 at 3:29 PM · Report this
194
@192: There's no attractive white woman involved, so I don't see what Nancy Grace would want with this story.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on July 11, 2011 at 6:14 PM · Report this
195
Dogs get diarrhea when you switch their dog food.
Posted by nodoy on July 11, 2011 at 10:20 PM · Report this
McGee 196
Lisa Dank banned from the Crocodile! Oh noes! I guess balding 42 year-olds in sandals will have to go somewhere else to see her.
Posted by McGee on July 12, 2011 at 3:21 PM · Report this
Posted by derek_erdman http://www.derekerdman.com on July 13, 2011 at 2:34 AM · Report this
198
Well shit! I can spell and use proper grammar. But, my dogs act like wild banshees whenever another dog approaches, so I don't even bother with the dog park. While I, their OWNER, decided it best in MY household for them to be neutered as puppies, their nails could probably use a trim soon. If you have hands to pet my Lhasa, he will love you for life. He will also shiver and shake terribly for hours after he hears a firework or loud noise. He will piss from his ass if you mess with his predictable little schedule, if he eats something other than his expensive dog food and supplements I give him, or if he is scared, nervous, excited or [insert any adjective other than "normal" here]. The other dog will just throw up.

So, by Lisa Dank standards, am I a suitable pet owner or not? Do I deserve to have my dogs stolen and "cared" for by someone that doesn't know that my Lhasa is allergic to corn, grass, fleas and flea medication, will only drink fresh water (unless you have a nasty pond full of algae and pond scum, yum!), is scared of horses, and is easily overwhelmed by crowds? Someone who doesn't know that my Shih Tzu is afraid of the dark, prefers to drink from a water bottle, gets grumpy when given Benadryl and doesn't like bones? Would they be better off with someone who cannot clearly articulate a thought and misuses words, because sometimes I have to stop and think of whether it's Capital or Capitol (even though my dogs can't spell and don't care if I can either)? Does Lisa Dank have a magical touch that will alleviate my dogs fear of fireworks and other loud noises?

Or would they be better off with me, their owner? The person who loves them even when the Shih Tzu pukes all over her dry clean only comforter and when the Lhasa eats a $100 bill. The person who didn't think twice about selling her beloved books for pennies because she didn't have money for food when she lost her job. The one that passes on free concert tickets to her favorite band, because she can't leave the dogs for that long. The one that dumped a suitable mate for the mere suggestion that she should trade them in for cats. The person who knows their quirks, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, their body language, that one likes pink toys and the other prefers green, knows their fears, favorite treats, habits, etc.

Hmmm...tough call, eh?
More...
Posted by Written from my Couch on July 13, 2011 at 11:14 AM · Report this
199
JULIANE (LISA):

Had you stolen MY dog, I would not have hesitated to:

1. Kick your door in.

2. Kick your head in.

I would have argued in court that you stole my therapy dog, the only thing that keeps me from acting on homicidal impulses. I would argue that you caused your own death by stealing the one thing that would keep me from killing you in a fit of rage.

Most people would say you didn't deserve to die, but most would quietly laugh at the irony. And the jury? They'd eat it up and acquit.

Think about it next time you want to keep that which isn't yours, you tuneless, worthless cunt.
Posted by A real dog lover on July 21, 2011 at 11:05 AM · Report this
200
Apparently this was a giant PR scam with Lisa Dank, the dog owner (head of a PR firm) and The Stranger to get folks to come out to her shows. Y'all been punked.
Posted by Silly on October 11, 2011 at 4:37 AM · Report this
201
Got a source for that, Silly?
Posted by capybura on October 13, 2011 at 12:40 PM · Report this
Last Night Blue 202
Publicity is publicity.
Posted by Last Night Blue http://www.facebook.com/LastNightBlue on November 2, 2011 at 11:44 PM · Report this
203
arguably she emotionally reacted to the situation, but none of you stupid assholes have registered that the owner didnt have his dog microchipped. 1st rule of dog ownership, microchip. second, NEVER TAKE THE DAMN COLLAR OFF THE DOG IF ITS A SKITTISH LITTLE TERRIER. and frankly, stupid and probably cheap people shouldn't be allowed to own pets, guns, whatever but this is america.......

her arguments were pretty solid IMHO. While she likely bonded with the animal, what i liked was: she has balls, and people who stand out in this world always have them.

haters gonna hate.

-

OFDM

Posted by OFDM on January 3, 2012 at 3:15 AM · Report this

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