Slog
News & ArtsMonday, August 15, 2011
Hetero Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Aug 15, 2011 at 1:29 PM
A Louisiana man is accused of decapitating and dismembering his disabled 7-year-old son and leaving the boy's head near the street so the child's mother would see it—a killing that brought seasoned police officers to tears, authorities said Monday.
3
Well, this is definitely more gruesome than the stabbing death of the 3 year old in Seattle last week. Many children deserve better parents, gay or straight.
6
Dan,
To be sure this is absolutely horrific. But, I think this is a bad idea to post these anymore. Bad/evil parents come in all shapes, sizes and sexual orientations as the tragic event of last week on First Hill shows. I have understood this for a long time.
To be sure this is absolutely horrific. But, I think this is a bad idea to post these anymore. Bad/evil parents come in all shapes, sizes and sexual orientations as the tragic event of last week on First Hill shows. I have understood this for a long time.
8
@6 - That's the point, dumbass. That's why he continues to post these, because people still try to claim that letting children live with their biological parents (male and female) is better than ever allowing a gay couple to care for a child. If you really think the point of these posts is to paint heterosexuals as irresponsible murderers, you're a fucking idiot.
10
Dan I think you should post something about what happened on First Hill.
I know this is supposed to be about straight parents of each sex not always being wonderful, but perhaps it's time to broaden the perspective to include equality for all. Surely, when you start posting horrible things that homosexual parents do, then we will have a new form of equality.
Just sayin...
I know this is supposed to be about straight parents of each sex not always being wonderful, but perhaps it's time to broaden the perspective to include equality for all. Surely, when you start posting horrible things that homosexual parents do, then we will have a new form of equality.
Just sayin...
12
@ 6 - That fact that you understood this doesn't mean the rest of the US has (it obviously hasn't). Therefore, the posts should and will continue. Just don't read them if you don't like them.
13
@11 -
Thank you very much. I missed that one.
Dan,
I withdraw my suggestion and apologize for the implication. Nice work.
Regards,
Joe
Thank you very much. I missed that one.
Dan,
I withdraw my suggestion and apologize for the implication. Nice work.
Regards,
Joe
14
A Louisiana jury may decide to give this man the death penalty.
He may have a lethal injection in his future, a kindness he withheld from his little boy.
He may have a lethal injection in his future, a kindness he withheld from his little boy.
16
the parents weren't married.
Danny thinks these are an advertisement for homosexual parenting but in fact they point out how devastating out-of-wedlock childrearing is.
it's not about homosexual marriage, Danny.
it's about how bad for society fornication/adultery is.
please make a note of it.
Danny thinks these are an advertisement for homosexual parenting but in fact they point out how devastating out-of-wedlock childrearing is.
it's not about homosexual marriage, Danny.
it's about how bad for society fornication/adultery is.
please make a note of it.
17
also many of these feature folks who are obviously mentally ill but that doesn't deter Danny from his fun.....
21
@18 - be polite! say you're welcome.
@17 - holy shit! for once I fucking agree with you.
Dan - maybe less articles where the people are very obviously insane. It's kind of just ...I don't know.... unnecessary? all-around sad? Slog doesn't need to be dailyrotten.com
But yeah, most biological parents are shitty. I would put it at 50/50 shitty/nonshitty. Even in Canada, purported home of the nonviolent, the most likely murderer of a child is its relative
http://www.canadiancrc.com/Child_Abuse/C…
Obviously, bigots who say gays shouldn't raise a couple are idiots. But this story is just gross, man.
@17 - holy shit! for once I fucking agree with you.
Dan - maybe less articles where the people are very obviously insane. It's kind of just ...I don't know.... unnecessary? all-around sad? Slog doesn't need to be dailyrotten.com
But yeah, most biological parents are shitty. I would put it at 50/50 shitty/nonshitty. Even in Canada, purported home of the nonviolent, the most likely murderer of a child is its relative
http://www.canadiancrc.com/Child_Abuse/C…
Obviously, bigots who say gays shouldn't raise a couple are idiots. But this story is just gross, man.
22
@20 Wouldn't you be a little "off" if you just came home to find your 7 year old son's head on the road?
Holy hell.
I can't imagine ever having to be in her shoes and I hope to never even so much as read another article like this in my lifetime.
Fuck.
Holy hell.
I can't imagine ever having to be in her shoes and I hope to never even so much as read another article like this in my lifetime.
Fuck.
23
@1 your reasoning is exactly the same as that of a racist. "one person in the south did something monstrous therefore the entire southern untied states is immoral" = "one black person did something monstrous therefore all black people are immoral" (and no, i do not equate being a southerner with being a minority group or anything...but we can't lump all people in a group together based on the actions of individuals. which seems pretty fucking obvious)
24
@ 23, actually, no. The Bible Belt (which is pretty much all of the Southern United States) holds itself up as a land of morality; check out how anyone down there justifies all their antigay bigotry enshrined in law. @ 1 is pointing out the irony of their attitude.
25
@21 - aside from this act of brutality, where is the evidence that this man was insane? He was the child's father, and he and the mother had been together for 10 years. From the linked article: "The police chief said Wright had been arrested a few times previously, though he was never charged with violent crimes. Wright served 10 days for theft in 2005." That's it. He was unemployed, angry, frustrated at taking care of a disabled son, and evidently a sociopath, but this doesn't prove insanity.
This is a case that specifically addresses Dan's point, that this home, up until the day of the murder, would have been considered more appropriate than Dan's, just because it had a hetero couple in it.
This is a case that specifically addresses Dan's point, that this home, up until the day of the murder, would have been considered more appropriate than Dan's, just because it had a hetero couple in it.
26
This is incredibly tragic. I work with special needs children so they have a special place in my heart. That being said, I wonder what type of support, if any, this family was receiving. If indeed this man was providing the majority of care perhaps some assistance from the state (wherever) would have made a difference.
27
Human beings are the only species that encourages the least of its members to reproduce the most.
28
@27: Don't be stupid, yourself. Intelligence isn't the most important thing for natural selection, it's adaptability to a particular niche, which may just be fucking when one isn't responsible enough. Even a baby badly raised is still another person who's most likely going to make it to breeding age.
30
18
insane?
perhapsssss......
or, just maybe, the only sane person in the room.
go back through a year's worth of "Every Child..."
see how many of the parents had ever been married.
(spoiler alert- its less than 6%....)
the common thread is not heterosexuality.
it is illegitimacy.
Every Child Deserves a Mother and Father Who Are Married (to each other...)
insane?
perhapsssss......
or, just maybe, the only sane person in the room.
go back through a year's worth of "Every Child..."
see how many of the parents had ever been married.
(spoiler alert- its less than 6%....)
the common thread is not heterosexuality.
it is illegitimacy.
Every Child Deserves a Mother and Father Who Are Married (to each other...)
32
@30: If nearly all of them are heterosexual and unmarried, statistically, there is no way to determine (based solely on those data) whether the effects correlate to one possible cause or the other. We'd need to get two other data sets: one consisting of unmarried homosexuals, and one consisting of married heterosexuals.
Of course, this is not even close to a randomly selected unbiased sample, so it's really a moot point.
Of course, this is not even close to a randomly selected unbiased sample, so it's really a moot point.
33
Married and Unmarried Parents
A Research Summary
David Popenoe, PhD
Professor of Sociology
Rutgers University
The idea is spreading that, if a child has two parents, it makes no difference whether or not those parents are married. Parents are parents, the argument goes, regardless of the possession by some of what is referred to as "just a piece of paper"--the marriage license. But this idea is far from the truth. In general, the relationship of married parents differs significantly from that of unmarried cohabiting parents, and the difference has substantial consequences both for the couple and for their children.
It has been found that the two groups have quite different preferences and expectations. Compared to the marrieds, the unmarrieds have:
A lower level of commitment to each other, and less reluctance to consider a possible breakup
A shorter time horizon in their life planning
Less merging of their financial, social, emotional, and work lives
Less sexual exclusivity
Associated with this difference, according to numerous studies, are the following facts. The unmarrieds:
Are 50% more likely to break up
Have much higher rates of spousal abuse
Live at a lower economic level
Have lower levels of happiness (both men and women), and derive fewer physical and mental health benefits from the relationship
Receive less help from their extended families
Have worse sex lives
The consequences of these circumstances for children are remarkable. The children of unmarried parents:
Have fewer economic resources
Receive less parenting from their fathers
Face a much greater risk of parental break-up, leading to two to three times the risk of having serious social problems when they become adolescents and young adults, such as juveniles delinquency and teenage out-of-wedlock childbearing
If the father is biologically unrelated to the child, which is much more often the case in unmarried families, the child is no better off than living with a single mother. And, compared to a child living with two natural parents, the child is much more in danger of being seriously abused both sexually and physically.
It is estimated that almost half of children growing up today will spend some time living with an unmarried, cohabiting couple. This should be considered a national tragedy. For our nation's children, one of the worst things that could befall them would be a continuation of the current shift away from marriage.
More...
A Research Summary
David Popenoe, PhD
Professor of Sociology
Rutgers University
The idea is spreading that, if a child has two parents, it makes no difference whether or not those parents are married. Parents are parents, the argument goes, regardless of the possession by some of what is referred to as "just a piece of paper"--the marriage license. But this idea is far from the truth. In general, the relationship of married parents differs significantly from that of unmarried cohabiting parents, and the difference has substantial consequences both for the couple and for their children.
It has been found that the two groups have quite different preferences and expectations. Compared to the marrieds, the unmarrieds have:
A lower level of commitment to each other, and less reluctance to consider a possible breakup
A shorter time horizon in their life planning
Less merging of their financial, social, emotional, and work lives
Less sexual exclusivity
Associated with this difference, according to numerous studies, are the following facts. The unmarrieds:
Are 50% more likely to break up
Have much higher rates of spousal abuse
Live at a lower economic level
Have lower levels of happiness (both men and women), and derive fewer physical and mental health benefits from the relationship
Receive less help from their extended families
Have worse sex lives
The consequences of these circumstances for children are remarkable. The children of unmarried parents:
Have fewer economic resources
Receive less parenting from their fathers
Face a much greater risk of parental break-up, leading to two to three times the risk of having serious social problems when they become adolescents and young adults, such as juveniles delinquency and teenage out-of-wedlock childbearing
If the father is biologically unrelated to the child, which is much more often the case in unmarried families, the child is no better off than living with a single mother. And, compared to a child living with two natural parents, the child is much more in danger of being seriously abused both sexually and physically.
It is estimated that almost half of children growing up today will spend some time living with an unmarried, cohabiting couple. This should be considered a national tragedy. For our nation's children, one of the worst things that could befall them would be a continuation of the current shift away from marriage.
34
It has been found that the two groups have quite different preferences and expectations.
Compared to the marrieds, the unmarrieds have:
>A lower level of commitment to each other, and less reluctance to consider a possible breakup
>A shorter time horizon in their life planning
Less merging of their financial, social, emotional, and work lives
>Less sexual exclusivity
Compared to the marrieds, the unmarrieds have:
>A lower level of commitment to each other, and less reluctance to consider a possible breakup
>A shorter time horizon in their life planning
Less merging of their financial, social, emotional, and work lives
>Less sexual exclusivity
35
Associated with this difference, according to numerous studies, are the following facts.
The unmarrieds:
>Are 50% more likely to break up
>Have much higher rates of spousal abuse
>Live at a lower economic level
>Have lower levels of happiness (both men and women), and derive fewer physical and mental health benefits from the relationship
>Receive less help from their extended families
>Have worse sex lives
The unmarrieds:
>Are 50% more likely to break up
>Have much higher rates of spousal abuse
>Live at a lower economic level
>Have lower levels of happiness (both men and women), and derive fewer physical and mental health benefits from the relationship
>Receive less help from their extended families
>Have worse sex lives
36
The consequences of these circumstances for children are remarkable.
The children of unmarried parents:
>Have fewer economic resources
>Receive less parenting from their fathers
>Face a much greater risk of parental break-up, leading to two to three times the risk of having serious social problems when they become adolescents and young adults, such as juveniles delinquency and teenage out-of-wedlock childbearing
The children of unmarried parents:
>Have fewer economic resources
>Receive less parenting from their fathers
>Face a much greater risk of parental break-up, leading to two to three times the risk of having serious social problems when they become adolescents and young adults, such as juveniles delinquency and teenage out-of-wedlock childbearing
37
If the father is biologically unrelated to the child, which is much more often the case in unmarried families, the child is no better off than living with a single mother. And, compared to a child living with two natural parents, the child is much more in danger of being seriously abused both sexually and physically.
It is estimated that almost half of children growing up today will spend some time living with an unmarried, cohabiting couple. This should be considered a national tragedy. For our nation's children, one of the worst things that could befall them would be a continuation of the current shift away from marriage.
It is estimated that almost half of children growing up today will spend some time living with an unmarried, cohabiting couple. This should be considered a national tragedy. For our nation's children, one of the worst things that could befall them would be a continuation of the current shift away from marriage.
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