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Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Health The Bird's Eye View Is Worth Waiting For

Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 11:38 AM

Sent along by a friend who says Slog is too gay. Because there's nothing homo about this video. Nothing homo at all.

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this looks like a hump entry

Posted by hump? on August 23, 2011 at 11:43 AM

I'm glad this video doesn't come with scratch and sniff.

Posted by Vince on August 23, 2011 at 11:45 AM

What was that? Music video, workout video? I kept waiting for it to do something but nothing happened.

Posted by bassplayerguy on August 23, 2011 at 11:46 AM

4 MINUTES TOO LONG

Posted by v-man on August 23, 2011 at 11:46 AM

You're taking me back to 1982. Showtime, between shows, had all these softcore "jazzercise" videos. The music's better in this, but Showtime had motherfucking gold lamé thong leotards on their models. It was like a collision between a Jane Fonda video and the Solid Gold dancers--fantastic!

Posted by Westside forever on August 23, 2011 at 11:50 AM

No, no, the birds eye view WAS NOT worth waiting for.

Posted by AFinch on August 23, 2011 at 11:55 AM

Pretty sure this actually is one of the old "Aerobicise" vids from Showtime -- but with a new soundtrack added.

Posted by Timrrr on August 23, 2011 at 11:56 AM

Yeah that was two girls slapping their pussies together. That's pretty homo.

Posted by anal smith on August 23, 2011 at 11:57 AM

I remember when these supposed "exercise" videos first hit TV, back in the early '80s, if memory serves.

Young women in a tight leotard pumping away to bad electronic music.

At about the same time the subscription Playboy Channel debuted, this is what served as erotica on basic cable for the (straight) mens of the period.

And they were much excited by them, if memory serves. Lord knows (straight) women (to whom they were ostensibly directed) didn't give a shit about 'em.

Posted by judybrowni on August 23, 2011 at 11:58 AM

Reminds me of, "Ass to ass!" Which always makes me go, "Ack!"

Posted by Nutsy on August 23, 2011 at 11:58 AM

It's not gay if it's two girls. Duh, everyone knows that.

Posted by rara avis on August 23, 2011 at 12:00 PM

Ah, it seems my memory didn't serve.

Saw them on my boyfriend's TV, and I guess he had Showtime: which was then much more soft porny than HBO.

However, I doubt highly that these videos were popular with exercise fanatics, 'cause I do remember that the mens were much more excited about 'em than the women.

Posted by judybrowni on August 23, 2011 at 12:02 PM

But no, I'd bet that's not new music added.

I remember the bad electronic score, only one of the more annoying aspects of these "exercise" videos.

Posted by judybrowni on August 23, 2011 at 12:05 PM

I used to fap to stuff like this in the 80s.

Posted by sirkowski

on August 23, 2011 at 12:07 PM

All it did was make me dizzy. Until about the 3rd minute, at which point it make me long for death. But I couldn't turn it off, I had to wait for the part that was supposedly worth waiting for.

I'm still waiting.

Posted by krista1203 on August 23, 2011 at 12:08 PM

When Ken Griffey Jr. was a young sensation, he was on David Letterman's show. Letterman asked him what he liked to do during the off-season. He said, "I watch aerobics." This is what he meant. It wouldn't make any sense now.

Posted by pox on August 23, 2011 at 12:17 PM

If they shampoo their hair, they can also mop the floor at the same time. How practical!

Posted by Ricardo on August 23, 2011 at 12:22 PM

We never had Showtime or The Playboy Channel, so "highly erotic" for me is more like trying to catch a glimpse of a boob in the scrambled version. Sometimes the picture would almost clear up for a few seconds. I could watch a movie like "Emmanuelle" all the way through, getting just enough nipple and hint of bush to (barely) meet my needs.

Posted by Fnarf

on August 23, 2011 at 12:23 PM

It has always baffled me that two guys will be gay, and two girls will not be. It's all about what guys (gay or straight) want to see, I guess.

Posted by BEG

on August 23, 2011 at 12:25 PM

As a straight woman, I gotta say that was way too gay for me. More videos of beautiful Indian men wrestling in in loincloths would help to straighten things out a bit, though.

Unless by "too gay" your friend just means "not tacky enough".

Posted by Irena on August 23, 2011 at 12:26 PM

Good lord, seeing that is a shock of recognition.

Posted by gloomy gus on August 23, 2011 at 12:27 PM

Im pretty sure I have the R rated version of this, same studio setting, same type of music and slow camera angles, 100% nude girls doing 45 minutes of light aerobics. I'll reply back when I get home and post the title (so you can torrent it).

Posted by Kinison

on August 23, 2011 at 12:49 PM

Exercise is gay. Sports are gay. Culture is gay. Politics? So very gay. Religion is all about child molestation, and child molestation is gay. Touching yourself is gay, one of the gayest things there is. Nations are gay. Language is gay.

In fact, the only thing that isn't gay is staring at a blank wall.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on August 23, 2011 at 12:49 PM

Drool.

Posted by Cory on August 23, 2011 at 12:50 PM

This is mesmerizing.

Posted by Grant Brissey, Emeritus

on August 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM

Watching that at the gym would not be gay. Watching that video is gay.

Posted by biffp on August 23, 2011 at 1:18 PM

Yeah, that's going in the spank bank for the next time the internet is down.

Posted by Rotten666 on August 23, 2011 at 1:33 PM

This video is so leotarded.

Posted by I have always been... east coaster on August 23, 2011 at 1:37 PM

@28: It's funny because it's excessively literal!

Posted by d.p. on August 23, 2011 at 2:02 PM

This shit was in Friday The 13th Part 4!

Posted by horrorfag on August 23, 2011 at 2:13 PM

Wow, their timing is pretty impressive. It got to 1:46 before I caught them *not* hitting the floor with their hair in synchrony.

Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on August 23, 2011 at 2:14 PM

Four and a half minutes of my life, gone forever.

Posted by dcs on August 23, 2011 at 2:30 PM

Too skinny.

Posted by not hot on August 23, 2011 at 2:44 PM

This is almost as fun as the 'ass to ass' scene in Requiem for a Dream.

Posted by maraudingcat on August 23, 2011 at 2:51 PM

This is making me ill. Ugh

Posted by Betsy Ross on August 23, 2011 at 2:59 PM

See, I go eh on this one even though I'm bi, because to me it's pitched for the guys watching it, not the women and so I lose interest. It doesn't strike me as homo because there's such a big huge male fantasy about jumping in with two hot women making out.

But then that leads me to my wondering what sort of clip would have most women going YUM, and then men EH. It's kind of crazy that a clip of two men will be assumed to be for [gay] men, and a clip of two women will be for... [str8] men...

Posted by BEG

on August 23, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Dan, you need better friends.

Posted by jade on August 23, 2011 at 3:09 PM

Yup, I'm definitely gay. I try to check every ten years justincase, and this resets the clock even though it's only been about seven years.

The only thing this made me think of was Shelob's Lair.

Posted by rob!

on August 23, 2011 at 3:11 PM

so, they're practicing for when they poop back and forth forever?

Posted by DeathatSea on August 23, 2011 at 3:23 PM

The close-ups of the first woman at the beginning look like she has fangs. Vampire aerobics?

Posted by Sarah in Olympia on August 23, 2011 at 3:29 PM

@36. I don't think with current social mores that's it's crazy for man no man porn to be for gay men and for girl on girl porn to be for hetero men. Porn is for the most part is a commodity and commodities are produced for the biggest perceived market (it's always about the money) and that market is men. Plus for whatever reason straight men seem to have the chick on chick fantasies but not too many women I've asked really want to see two dudes ass fucking. It's just the way it seem to be.

Posted by areaman on August 23, 2011 at 3:41 PM