I'm on Delta heading from Detroit to Seattle and they're showing Louis C.K.'s "Chewed Up" on this flight—they're showing it because I found it in the "comedy" section of the on-demand entertainment system and pressed "play," but still!—and the very first word out of Louis C.K.'s mouth is "faggot"! Louis C.K. says "faggot," like, seven or eight hundred thousand times in the first five minutes!

"Faggot. I miss that word... Faggot didn't mean gay when I was a kid. You called someone faggot because they were being a faggot, you know? Someone was just being a faggot.

'You not supposed to use those for that.'

'Shut up, faggot.'

I would never call a gay guy a faggot. Not because he's gay. If I saw two guys blowing each other—I don't know why I'm watching them do that, but if I just happened to stumble upon a couple of fellas blowing each other... I would be respectful to them. 'Helloooo, gentlemen.' Whatever, you know? But if one of them took the dick out of his mouth and was being all faggy and saying annoying faggy things like, 'People from Phoenix are called Phoenicians,' I'd be like, 'Hey, shut up, faggot! FAGGOT! Quit being a faggot and suck that dick.' That's what I would say to him."

Help! Help! It's all so damn funny! I can't turn it off! Save me, GLAAD, you're my only hope! Call Delta and tell them to disable their entire fleet's entertainment system immediately!