Goldy and I have just arrived at University Village to cover the grand opening of the 12th-ever Microsoft Store. And "grand" this "opening" sure is! Dozens of people "occupied" University Village last night, camping overnight for the privilege of being the first few customers in Microsoft's new retail mecca (good thing nobody told the SPD, eh?). Now hundreds of people, from as far away as Ohio and Australia, are lined up, waiting for the chance to play Kinect with a couple of famous sports stars*, pick up free tickets to a Black Keys concert, and stock up on the newest, hottest models of Zunes, Windows Phones, and Microsoft Word!

The festivities are about to begin (find a full schedule right here), but I just wanted to tell you that it's all so very glamorous here, with Microsoft-citement spreading like the plague! I've even heard a rumor that Steve Ballmer might make an appearance—I hope they've brought a few hunky firemen to catch all the swooning ladies!

It's not too late for you to head out to University Village. Just call in "sick" and join the festivities**! If you absolutely have to stay where you are, don't fret: we'll be posting updates right here on Slog! Can you possibly bear the excitement?!!?! Gotta run—don't wanna miss the sure-to-be-scintillating address from Microsoft corporate vice president Rich Kaplan!

* I have four words for you—Edgar, Keller, Martinez, and Kasey; do the match, bitchez!

** It's super-easy to find the new Microsoft Store; it's directly across the parking lot from the Apple store.