An opposite-sex couple was operating an opposite-sex sex club in Sanford, Maine, where opposite-sex-attracted adults were having opposite-sex sex in a building that was—THINK OF THE CHILDREN—kinda close to a public library that wasn't open when these gross and disgusting opposite-sex attracted adults were indulging their sick and twisted desires for opposite-sex sex. But, you know, still! People having sex! In a place that's kinda close to a place where children who don't have access to the Internet sometimes go to get something to read! (Who's going to break it to the Sanford Police Department and Portland Press Herald that opposite-sex parents are having sex in houses where children live! (Same-sex parents too!)) The club's owners didn't have a permit to operate an adult business and they aren't going to get one because they city doesn't issue them, and opposite-sex sexing violated the club's "food, liquor, dancing and entertainment licenses," so one more small business has been destroyed by burdensome government regulation. But you gotta love this detail:

“The officers were appalled at the number and variety of sexual acts being performed—and one of the officers has worked vice crimes—right out in the open where everybody was sitting,” Connolly said.... The sex parties, publicized on a swingers’ group website, apparently started in July and were scheduled to run through December. Couples and single men paid $40 admission at the door; single women got in free. Many of the vehicles in the parking lot Oct. 15 had Massachusetts license plates, Connolly said.

My goodness! Those opposite-sex-attracted perverts from Massachusetts were having opposite-sex sex right in front of, um, other opposite-sex-attracted adults who purchased club memberships and paid to get in and wanted to watch. But at least now the children of Sanford are safe from the sex parties they couldn't attend and the stuff they couldn't see and all the gross sex shit they didn't know was going on at the old Knights of Columbus hall until it was splashed all over the front pages of the daily newspaper that's available for their perusal at the public library they rarely visit.

Good work, everybody!