Federally Admonished: The Seattle Police Department,by the U.S. Department of Justice, following the SPD's purported retaliation against a patrol officer who criticized police command staff while being questioned by Feds.

"They Were Sexual Compliments!": Herman Cain denies allegations of sexual harassment. (Meanwhile, NBC confirms that one Cain accuser received a cash settlement.)

Speaking of Crazy Pizza Men: Domino's worker admits to setting fire to a nearby Papa John’s.

Remember that Big Awful Vancouver Riot?: Police have recommended criminal charges against 60 alleged participants.

Scary: Woman hit by stray bullet in Pioneer Square.

Meanwhile in Afghanistan: "Insurgents driving a suicide truck bomb and attacking on foot killed five people, including three United Nations employees, near the offices of the U.N.'s refugee agency in the southern city of Kandahar."

Chimacum Clown Drama: Machete, meat cleaver cause school lockdown after Juggalo confrontation.

Now Skyrocketing: The price of peanut butter.

Some Good News: Seattle Children's Hospital receives two gifts totaling $65 million.

Hysterical Boob Now a Quitter: Harold Camping gives up on rapture prophecies.

Finally, happy birthday to Calvin Johnson, the Northwest musical treasure born on this day in 1961. Here's Beat Happening's "Bewitched," from 1988.