Slog
News & ArtsWednesday, November 2, 2011
Hetero Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father
Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Nov 2, 2011 at 11:02 AM
6
Good lord. Does he say "I'll go get a knife" at around 2:25? Am I hearing that right (or is it "I'll go get another one"?
7
Wow, that was extremely hard to watch. Unfortunately, it reminds me of my childhood.
Not only should that man not be re-elected, he should be jailed. How anyone could beat another human being that way is beyond my comprehension.
Not only should that man not be re-elected, he should be jailed. How anyone could beat another human being that way is beyond my comprehension.
8
Here's a "blow by blow" rebuttal of Judge Willams' actions by another abuse survivor to whom this video brings forth horrible memories. The author challenges every action and word executed by both parents during the video's 7 minute ordeal. Hillary Adams is a brave survivor!
http://ninanerdface.wordpress.com/tag/wi…
http://ninanerdface.wordpress.com/tag/wi…
9
I love the quote from the interview with him "It's not as bad as it looks on tape."
Seriously? Motherfucker, you beat your physically disabled daughter with a belt and screamed things at her that for all my pottymouthed ways I would never inflict on ANYONE I loved. You are unfit to be a judge or a parent, and I'll be damned if I ever would want anyone like you living anywhere near anyone I cared about. Fuck, I don't even classify you as a human being.
And ya know what? I"m pretty goddamned pissed off that I can't "un-see" that because it's gonna fuck my day off way up, you sonofabitch.
Seriously? Motherfucker, you beat your physically disabled daughter with a belt and screamed things at her that for all my pottymouthed ways I would never inflict on ANYONE I loved. You are unfit to be a judge or a parent, and I'll be damned if I ever would want anyone like you living anywhere near anyone I cared about. Fuck, I don't even classify you as a human being.
And ya know what? I"m pretty goddamned pissed off that I can't "un-see" that because it's gonna fuck my day off way up, you sonofabitch.
10
I think a second belt, because he comes back with one in his hand and whining that he hasn't whipped her yet. I can't figure if the mom is trying to end it all, by getting a "proper" contact in or if she's as bad as he is. Working with domestic crisis groups it wasn't uncommon to learn that the abused spouse, usually wife, abused the children to make things comply with the abusing spouses wishes. It is horrible.
12
That's... fucking horrifying. Just the emotional part, the swearing at and telling her she doesn't deserve to be in the household, would be horrifying. I agree that this twisted piece of shit doesn't deserve to be called human, and that's coming from someone who was spanked (rarely) and thinks that's just fine. Thanks for putting this out there even though I can't unsee it and it's going to fuck up my whole week.
13
Couldn't get past 2 mins.
I was 'paddled' like that when I was a boy. By a parent and by a teacher. Belts, paddles, boards.
I used to tell myself that I survived to be a reasonable adult, I guess it wasn't that awful - was it?
This video brought me right back to it - and it makes me feel sick to remember it, the hurt of having a parent beat on you like that... and to imagine ever doing it to my own.
Holy shit.
I was 'paddled' like that when I was a boy. By a parent and by a teacher. Belts, paddles, boards.
I used to tell myself that I survived to be a reasonable adult, I guess it wasn't that awful - was it?
This video brought me right back to it - and it makes me feel sick to remember it, the hurt of having a parent beat on you like that... and to imagine ever doing it to my own.
Holy shit.
14
Judge William Adams' behavior at home is reflected in his judicial treatment of children-at-risk:
http://www.free-press-release.com/news-c…
http://www.free-press-release.com/news-c…
15
Horrific.
How is this a "hetero" issue?
You Fanboys and Faghags should really stage an intervention to get Danny some help......
How is this a "hetero" issue?
You Fanboys and Faghags should really stage an intervention to get Danny some help......
22
Gaaahhh! Nope. I couldn't make it past 2 minutes either. That "judge" is a fucking sociopath. Whatever punishment he receives will never be enough.
23
@21, there usually is, though many states will toll the statute of limitations until the child reaches majority. For instance, in Washington, a civil claim for assault may be tolled until the victim turns 18, meaning the three year statute of limitations starts running then -- the victim can sue until she is 21. Not sure about criminal charges, though I suspect it is the same.
25
My stepfather did this sort of thing more than once. I wish I had a webcam (it was the 80s). So very glad most people don't consider this acceptable any more when it becomes public.
26
Attorneys can be disbarred for shit like this, can't they? Even if it's too late to be prosecuted? How does that work for judges?
It worries me that this motherfucker will get re-elected anyway because 1. it's Texas; and 2. no one pays attention to judge races.
It worries me that this motherfucker will get re-elected anyway because 1. it's Texas; and 2. no one pays attention to judge races.
27
I bet he had a boner.
How would YOU like to get whipped by someone twice your size, you fucking disgusting piece of shit? I bet he pisses his pants when confronted by an adult. Cowardly motherfucker.
How would YOU like to get whipped by someone twice your size, you fucking disgusting piece of shit? I bet he pisses his pants when confronted by an adult. Cowardly motherfucker.
28
@8 that was extremely articulate and well reasoned. I did watch the whole thing (which was extremely difficult) and this was an accurate pbp.
Interesting that the person who posted the video (allegedly the daughter) takes great pains to say that the monther was abused and should be held blameless, but that's certainly not how it reads in the video. yikes.
all over some computer games...FFS.
Interesting that the person who posted the video (allegedly the daughter) takes great pains to say that the monther was abused and should be held blameless, but that's certainly not how it reads in the video. yikes.
all over some computer games...FFS.
29
Here in the Bible Belt (literally), I promise you that the only troubling aspect to our local Christians is the swear words. This sort of "discipline" is very common in the South, and it takes current, present, active bruises PLUS the right cop responding in the right mood to get anything done about it.
30
@13 - Yeah. I'm having flashbacks from my childhood. My mom used to prefer metal yardsticks because they didn't break like the wooden ones.
31
kim @10 - you're right, he does say "another one" or "a second one"... probably annoyed that his wife took the belt away. But, it says something that I thought it was possible, based on his demeanor, that he was going to get a knife...
34
@29 you are right. the only thing that would be shocking to my Texas family is the swearing. what a potty mouth!
35
This brought back my own childhood. If there's one thing I could tell anyone who is the victim of abuse it would be this; FIGHT BACK.
My dad beat me my whole life until I was 16 and I finally snapped and fought back.
You may not be as big as your abuser, but that's ok. Get a frying pan or a baseball bat or a broom handle. Wait in a room and when they come in to attack you beat the living shit out of them. Channel all your anger and rage and fight back. Don't kill them, but beat them until you can see they're scared, as scared as you have been.
Then tell them if they ever raise their hand to you again you will not stop next time.
And for anyone who would tell me this is bad advice; fuck you. You think calling the police is a better solution? The police got called out to my house more times than I can count. You think talking to counsellors is a better solution? I did that throughout my life.
The only thing that made it stop was fighting back, and that's what I would advise anyone being abused to do.
My dad beat me my whole life until I was 16 and I finally snapped and fought back.
You may not be as big as your abuser, but that's ok. Get a frying pan or a baseball bat or a broom handle. Wait in a room and when they come in to attack you beat the living shit out of them. Channel all your anger and rage and fight back. Don't kill them, but beat them until you can see they're scared, as scared as you have been.
Then tell them if they ever raise their hand to you again you will not stop next time.
And for anyone who would tell me this is bad advice; fuck you. You think calling the police is a better solution? The police got called out to my house more times than I can count. You think talking to counsellors is a better solution? I did that throughout my life.
The only thing that made it stop was fighting back, and that's what I would advise anyone being abused to do.
36
@35: I agree with you with one caveat. 16 is the age to be tried as an adult in most states. 16 and 17 year olds should weigh carefully if jail really is better than home. I decided home was easier and stuck it out to graduation (from my Christian high school). Others may come to different conclusions, but it bears consideration. Parenting beating minor = legal discipline in most places, under most circumstances. Minor beating parent = assault. Sad but true fact of life in America.
38
I really hope she's somewhere safe now. I hate to think what'll happen when word of this video gets back to the judge himself.
39
here is a site with update:
http://www.kristv.com/full-coverage/judg…
the guy admits it's him, totally brushes it off as an overreaction. Dick.
The girl is now 23, sounds like she and her mother are both still under the thrall of this jerk, even though the parents are divorced. I hope Hillary can get help and cut this guy out of her life completely.
http://www.kristv.com/full-coverage/judg…
the guy admits it's him, totally brushes it off as an overreaction. Dick.
The girl is now 23, sounds like she and her mother are both still under the thrall of this jerk, even though the parents are divorced. I hope Hillary can get help and cut this guy out of her life completely.
40
@38 she told the judge she was going to post it before and he told her to go ahead. He seems to have the same level of understanding about computers and the internet as he had in 2004.
41
OMG. Please tell me this meets the legal threshold for child abuse in Arkansas (I wouldn't assume it does). This man needs to be kept away from his children at a minimum, and sentenced to jail if there is any justice.
I hope this video results in more of the same from other abused kids seeking help.
And to everyone who has been the victim of something like this - I'm so sorry. I know most of you will use that experience to be better people and parents, but sadly, this is exactly the kind of thing that turns some kids into future child beaters.
I hope this video results in more of the same from other abused kids seeking help.
And to everyone who has been the victim of something like this - I'm so sorry. I know most of you will use that experience to be better people and parents, but sadly, this is exactly the kind of thing that turns some kids into future child beaters.
42
“. . . as you can see my life's been made VERY DIFFICULT over this child," - Judge William Adams 11/2/2011
Judge Adams also stated: (the video) "it looks worse than it is"
This sadist, up for reelection as a FAMILY LAW judge, doesn't get it: it is HIS life that's difficult! Oh Boo-hoo!
Prison Rape - Not as bad as it looks on tape
http://www.kristv.com/videos/judge-adams…
Judge Adams also stated: (the video) "it looks worse than it is"
This sadist, up for reelection as a FAMILY LAW judge, doesn't get it: it is HIS life that's difficult! Oh Boo-hoo!
Prison Rape - Not as bad as it looks on tape
http://www.kristv.com/videos/judge-adams…
43
@40 - Thanks, I'm reading more of the back story now. This guy really is a piece of work; truly a monster of the worst kind.
44
@ 41, this happened in 2004 when the girl was 16. She's now an adult, out of the house, and just uploaded this video. See Dan's links for details...
45
Thank you, seandr.
Having experienced this is exactly what inspired me to work with individuals in domestic violence situations. To use a common phrase, abuse is a cycle and it moves through generations. The last statistics I've seen approximated that a male child subject to this abuse had the greater chance (~50-70%) of abusing the next generation and a female child (~30-50%) chance. Another unfortunate consequence is that abuse increases the chances of the child growing up and entering into an abusive relationship(s), with the female child being more likely. Anecdotally I found that true in the groups I facilitated, most of the victims had been abused as children and found themselves attracted to abusers.
This young woman has a bright future ahead of her. I hope she knows this. She just has to desire to live a better and more compassionate life, which may or may not include professional help.
Take care.
Having experienced this is exactly what inspired me to work with individuals in domestic violence situations. To use a common phrase, abuse is a cycle and it moves through generations. The last statistics I've seen approximated that a male child subject to this abuse had the greater chance (~50-70%) of abusing the next generation and a female child (~30-50%) chance. Another unfortunate consequence is that abuse increases the chances of the child growing up and entering into an abusive relationship(s), with the female child being more likely. Anecdotally I found that true in the groups I facilitated, most of the victims had been abused as children and found themselves attracted to abusers.
This young woman has a bright future ahead of her. I hope she knows this. She just has to desire to live a better and more compassionate life, which may or may not include professional help.
Take care.
46
@42: Oh man, that is JAWDROPPING. What a fucking fuckity fuck. I'll spend the rest of the day relishing the fantasy of him getting the same treatment at the hand of someone more powerful than him.
47
Thank you for sharing this video. Its power to spread and to ruin this man's life lies in how utterly disturbing and horrifying it is - but that also means it should come with a small "trigger warning" for victims who can understand its importance without being re-traumatized by watching it.
49
I thought this would bring back memories from my childhood, but weirdly I just felt numb like I used to. I guess my mind figured out how to distance me from the situation, and old habits die hard.
50
@49: Me too. Several friends told me this was going viral and warned me not to watch it. I already had by the time they told me, and I didn't even blink. My first thought was that his fellow Christians will come down on him for using the Lord's name in vain. I haven't been in my parents' home or part of their church (or any church) since my 18th birthday in 1996.
52
The mother coming in at the end to beat her more is mindblowing. "Take it.. like a Grown Woman." .. WHOA.
53
The only way I could watch the entire thing and not have a flashback to my own experiences is because I've lived two-thirds of my life away from it. But, still, it was harrowing as hell.
Knowing now that the girl had CP, etc., also reminds me that - for many overly strict by-the-book disciplinarians (read: abusers) - there is NO reprieve for disability or developmental differences, because for them all ANY child needs is a good beating to get the lesson across. And her (ugh) father's attitude (described in the second link) illustrates this point perfectly:
Knowing now that the girl had CP, etc., also reminds me that - for many overly strict by-the-book disciplinarians (read: abusers) - there is NO reprieve for disability or developmental differences, because for them all ANY child needs is a good beating to get the lesson across. And her (ugh) father's attitude (described in the second link) illustrates this point perfectly:
She has had ataxic cerebral palsy from birth that led her to a passion for technology, which was strictly forbidden by her father's backwards views.I weep for yet another child who deserved to have real loving parents with some display of intelligence.
54
He wants her to bend over...to expose her butt to him....having experienced this kind of beating myself, if she is anything like I was, she resists because of the humiliation of bending over...even though being hit on the legs and arms and torso hurts more, the humiliation of bending over and getting your ass beat ....worse. At that age I knew there was something sexual about that. My sisters and I don't have any children because of our violent upbringing.
55
Honestly, I don't know what can legally be done about this guy since the video was taken seven years ago, and I hesitate to question its veracity but do wonder whether "Hillary Adams" has been positively identified. That said…
While my parents have never beaten me with a belt or threatened to turn me out of the house, I have a much too clear idea of what it must have felt like to be Hillary that night. Beating a child is beating a child, doesn't matter whether it's done with belts or hands and whether that kid is 10 or 16. I'm truly sorry to hear that Hillary's father continues to treat her abusively and wish her all the best. She deserves better than him.
While my parents have never beaten me with a belt or threatened to turn me out of the house, I have a much too clear idea of what it must have felt like to be Hillary that night. Beating a child is beating a child, doesn't matter whether it's done with belts or hands and whether that kid is 10 or 16. I'm truly sorry to hear that Hillary's father continues to treat her abusively and wish her all the best. She deserves better than him.
57
God bless teh internets. We've been missing the public pillory for too long. Only a few years ago, nobody would have EVER heard about this. Now, this guy's life is over. Even if he's never charged with anything, this one event is permanently cemented to him. He won't even be able to die to get away from it.
58
For those wondering "where is Arkansas County Texas?", it appears that this judge works in Aransas County, Texas.
No "K". Aransas. The first link Dan provided misspelled it, but the second, a blog in Houston, got it correct.
I hope this asshole not only loses his job and his license to practice law, but also has his ass sued by his daughter. I think the statue of limitations is up for a criminal prosecution, but I hope I'm mistaken.
No "K". Aransas. The first link Dan provided misspelled it, but the second, a blog in Houston, got it correct.
I hope this asshole not only loses his job and his license to practice law, but also has his ass sued by his daughter. I think the statue of limitations is up for a criminal prosecution, but I hope I'm mistaken.
59
Yeah @ 49 & 50, watching it I felt distanced. After watching it, a certain satisfaction that this POS has been exposed. After that, seething anger reading the update that @42 posted.
It is this self-centered shitdribble's totally earnest self-justification and blaming of his daughter that sooo boils my blood. But hey, I spent the first wenty years of my life "victimizing" my mother, so who am I to talk.
It is this self-centered shitdribble's totally earnest self-justification and blaming of his daughter that sooo boils my blood. But hey, I spent the first wenty years of my life "victimizing" my mother, so who am I to talk.
61
That is fucked. I watched the whole thing, hoping it was a play or something... It's worse than the horror movies I've been avoiding all week. That guy needs a major ass-kicking by a GIRL and I'd love to be the one to deliver it. the fact that mommy-dearest thinks that bending over and taking a beating is "like a WOMAN" shows how fucked the whole family is. good luck to any of them fighting their way back to normal...
63
Christ! What the hell kind of maniac thinks this is an appropriate punishment for their kid especially one that's disabled? This is not a spankng this is a beat down. If she were a stranger, he'd be doing jail time!
64
here is the contact info for this redneck scumbag's boss
Aransas County Judge C. H. "Burt" Mills, Jr., 361-790-0100
Drop him a line and tell him what you think of the hillbilly sadist he employs
Aransas County Judge C. H. "Burt" Mills, Jr., 361-790-0100
Drop him a line and tell him what you think of the hillbilly sadist he employs
67
I couldn't watch it either. And I never was abused in my life - my dad only swatted me on the ass once, when I was four, with his bare hand and said sternly, "Behave yourself!" - that was the worst beating I ever got.
I hope that girl does whatever she needs to do (counseling, moving across the country, etc) to get far away from that monster and build the life she deserves for herself!
I hope that girl does whatever she needs to do (counseling, moving across the country, etc) to get far away from that monster and build the life she deserves for herself!
68
I can't watch past the first few seconds of the beating. This asshole shouldn't be allowed to preside over a case again, especially one involving domestic violence. Watch the fucker run for a state seat in a conservative Christian district and win. That's Texas for you.
70
Terrifying.
on the site, everyone says that this amount of corporal punishment is way overboard, obviously. That's not surprising: the interesting part is that people claim that variable amounts of spanking is "ok" and not overboard, and the reason they cite is that that's *the amount that was normal in their family*.
on the site, everyone says that this amount of corporal punishment is way overboard, obviously. That's not surprising: the interesting part is that people claim that variable amounts of spanking is "ok" and not overboard, and the reason they cite is that that's *the amount that was normal in their family*.
71
Perhaps what's most disturbing in retrospect are some of the comments I've seen on the news sites where people actually justify the asshole's actions in the video as normal. There's a whole lot of people out there beating the shit out of their kids.
73
I don't think it is normal, I think it is not uncommon, either way it is abusive. They abused her, and many can argue that she gave them good reason to be upset, but there are no reasons that justify abuse. They could have removed the computer to their room or a public location like the kitchen. They did not need to "discipline" her with physical and verbal violence if they wished to teach her that there are negative consequences. What they wanted to show her was that they had the power and control to cause her physical damage and make her homeless. This was about power and control. Neither parent is justified, in my opinion. That is my $0.02.
74
@50 -- omg you were right. At @42's link, there's a "community reacts to beating video" report, where one scary lady says the girl got what she deserved, but the foul language was wrong. "Because I know him [the judge] and he's just not like that."
76
That's horrible, beyond horrible. Sadly not at all whole unfamiliar.
I couldn't watch beyond a minute in. I could see in the father's stance it was all about sex and power. He was angry because she wasn't displaying the humiliating and high sexual pose he wanted her to assume. I didn't watch long enough to see the Mother but from the sound of it she's use to these beatings on her.
Best of luck to the daughter. It's going to take time and major therapy to get over an upbringing like this. I know. I'm 32 and I still have an aversion to being touched even by friends or my partner. I'm slowly getting better but it's a long road.
The father stole more than his daughter's dignity, he stole her future from her. Jackass. Prison is to good for him.
I couldn't watch beyond a minute in. I could see in the father's stance it was all about sex and power. He was angry because she wasn't displaying the humiliating and high sexual pose he wanted her to assume. I didn't watch long enough to see the Mother but from the sound of it she's use to these beatings on her.
Best of luck to the daughter. It's going to take time and major therapy to get over an upbringing like this. I know. I'm 32 and I still have an aversion to being touched even by friends or my partner. I'm slowly getting better but it's a long road.
The father stole more than his daughter's dignity, he stole her future from her. Jackass. Prison is to good for him.
77
This video was pretty sickening. I swear, I shouldn't watch these things, because part of me thinks he needs to turn up dead. And that's not a nice, law-abiding stance at all. If I were an officer of the law, I don't know that I wouldn't look the other way as evidence got "lost". In fact, if this guy called me, I'd take my time getting there. He deserves the absolute worst.
This is why I'm not a public servant. There are some folks I just couldn't make myself "serve".
This is why I'm not a public servant. There are some folks I just couldn't make myself "serve".
78
Sickening. I would happily deliver a beating to that piece of crap myself.
He's up for re-election in three years and UTTERLY unrepentant:
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/11/03/justic…
The wife does seem to be trying to make it "easier" for the kid, within the confines of the hysterical sadism --- taking the belt from him, asking her to lie down so she can spank her on the bottom (which is much better than what she's getting from Judge Maniac).
He's up for re-election in three years and UTTERLY unrepentant:
http://edition.cnn.com/2011/11/03/justic…
The wife does seem to be trying to make it "easier" for the kid, within the confines of the hysterical sadism --- taking the belt from him, asking her to lie down so she can spank her on the bottom (which is much better than what she's getting from Judge Maniac).
79
And as for his defenders, anyone who can't see the difference between this and normal spanking is a brain-damaged fool who is unfit to be a parent, or employed with any degree of responsibility.
80
okay, here goes. if she had said she was sorry and taken a few hits on this ass, promised not to do it again...he probably wouldn't have kept hitting her. I mean her parents are not comfortable with the computer and stealing games, so she probably knew what might happen if she got caught, so then she set up a video camera. sort of entrapment and planned insubordination to get a bad beating on tape and get back at her dad. his language offends me more than anything else. it makes the beating even more thuggish, and he is no example of a stand up person clearly. i'm just saying she did set this up. and that isn't right either. it's a bad situation all around.
81
Oddly, this video didn't upset me either, as it probably should have. It just seemed familiar is all.
This was pretty common for me and my siblings growing up. Like @54, I didn't want to bend over either. It was just...I dunno. Something about bending over felt like it was more about humiliation than punishment. So instead, I'd get hit with a belt/ruler/"hickory switch"/shoe or whatever on the calves, hips, arms, ribs, back, etc. My mother's aim wasn't that good. And it wasn't just when I was a little kid either. This was up until I was about 16 or 17. Until I dropped out of school and moved out. I also live in Texas. Here, as long as nobody draws blood or breaks bones or uses a closed fist, nobody really considers it abuse. My mom never swore at me like that though. She is a "good Christian" woman, and thinks God would find it offensive.
Some of the other things she did included taking my door off the hinges and locking it in the garage, so I'd have no privacy. She nailed all my windows shut once. She often read my journals, and if she didn't like what they said, she'd burn them, along with my "offensive" music and artwork.
I think the most upsetting and ironic thing she ever did was slamming me into a doorway, grabbing my wrist until I bruised, and yelling (only two inches from my face) that "we don't hit people in this family!" This was in response to me throwing a hairbrush at my brother's head. He called me a fat bitch, so I chunked a hair brush at him and nailed him on the chin. My aim was much better than my mother's.
This was pretty common for me and my siblings growing up. Like @54, I didn't want to bend over either. It was just...I dunno. Something about bending over felt like it was more about humiliation than punishment. So instead, I'd get hit with a belt/ruler/"hickory switch"/shoe or whatever on the calves, hips, arms, ribs, back, etc. My mother's aim wasn't that good. And it wasn't just when I was a little kid either. This was up until I was about 16 or 17. Until I dropped out of school and moved out. I also live in Texas. Here, as long as nobody draws blood or breaks bones or uses a closed fist, nobody really considers it abuse. My mom never swore at me like that though. She is a "good Christian" woman, and thinks God would find it offensive.
Some of the other things she did included taking my door off the hinges and locking it in the garage, so I'd have no privacy. She nailed all my windows shut once. She often read my journals, and if she didn't like what they said, she'd burn them, along with my "offensive" music and artwork.
I think the most upsetting and ironic thing she ever did was slamming me into a doorway, grabbing my wrist until I bruised, and yelling (only two inches from my face) that "we don't hit people in this family!" This was in response to me throwing a hairbrush at my brother's head. He called me a fat bitch, so I chunked a hair brush at him and nailed him on the chin. My aim was much better than my mother's.
82
Oh, yeah, and of course, it's super funny (note the sarcasm there) when they tell you that it "hurts them more than it hurts you". Really, motherfucker? I'm the one being beaten with a leather belt. Let's trade places so you can compare notes!
At least the judge had the good sense not to say that.
At least the judge had the good sense not to say that.
83
@28: The mom's actions spoke louder than words, in my opinion: when she initially took the belt away, she 'ended it' (for a moment) with one final swat. (If the dad had continued having the belt, he would have kept swinging multiple times). Hers was perhaps a tortured interjection of mercy. She even sold it well by hauling back with her arm, so it looked bigger than his hits. If the daughter's been through this before, she knows her part as well: to sell that mom's hits are 'worse'. Sadly, the mom is making sure the hits are on places that won't be seen, whereas the dad was fairly indiscriminate.
...
Hello, sad dysfunction.
@35 decent advice if your attacker is simply a repeat/gen-cycle abuser. If he's simply getting off on pain though, if he's really warped about violence (mean to animals, ex-vet, substance abuser =clues), you're throwing gas on the fire by fighting back (esp. if you don't have the physical/martial arts ability to guarantee success, which most kids don't). I've got scars to prove it. i.e. Sometimes discretion > valor.
@53 - I wonder if these families could learn a lot from rumspringa?
@42 lol thanks for the laugh on "prison rape: not as bad as it looks on tape". Let's all hope the Judge gets to test that..
....
Spanking of any sort = evil. It isn't acceptable-if-done-a-certain-way, it isn't "christian" (or human) at all. WRATH of any sort is still a sin. Shame on him and all abusers.
...
Hello, sad dysfunction.
@35 decent advice if your attacker is simply a repeat/gen-cycle abuser. If he's simply getting off on pain though, if he's really warped about violence (mean to animals, ex-vet, substance abuser =clues), you're throwing gas on the fire by fighting back (esp. if you don't have the physical/martial arts ability to guarantee success, which most kids don't). I've got scars to prove it. i.e. Sometimes discretion > valor.
@53 - I wonder if these families could learn a lot from rumspringa?
@42 lol thanks for the laugh on "prison rape: not as bad as it looks on tape". Let's all hope the Judge gets to test that..
....
Spanking of any sort = evil. It isn't acceptable-if-done-a-certain-way, it isn't "christian" (or human) at all. WRATH of any sort is still a sin. Shame on him and all abusers.
84
@80, You should probably look up what entrapment means, because this is not it at all.
To address your other points, let's assume for a moment that she did whatever she did on the computer intentionally knowing she would be beaten. First off, the punishment for downloading any program or song is nowhere near as severe at what that sick fuck meted out. Secondly, abuse like this isn't a one time thing. For this one time we have video evidence, there are many more that weren't recorded. She knew she was going to be beaten again, and again regardless of what she did, so she may have instigated it this time so that the abuse would occur on her terms. If that is the case, then I would say that not only did she do nothing wrong, but she actually showed extreme strength and courage in her actions.
To address your other points, let's assume for a moment that she did whatever she did on the computer intentionally knowing she would be beaten. First off, the punishment for downloading any program or song is nowhere near as severe at what that sick fuck meted out. Secondly, abuse like this isn't a one time thing. For this one time we have video evidence, there are many more that weren't recorded. She knew she was going to be beaten again, and again regardless of what she did, so she may have instigated it this time so that the abuse would occur on her terms. If that is the case, then I would say that not only did she do nothing wrong, but she actually showed extreme strength and courage in her actions.
86
@80, are you seriously placing blame for the father's rage on the kid? 'If she had only taken a couple of swats, he wouldn't have gotten so angry . . .' That is standard domestic violence apologia.
He has zero responsibility for his own behavior? His language offends you more than the full-strength belt beating he administered?
Let me give you a hint: If she did set this up with the camera, planned insubordination, and entrapped him, it's because she knew what would happen. The only way she could have known what would happen is if it had happened before. In a predictable, patterned way.
He has zero responsibility for his own behavior? His language offends you more than the full-strength belt beating he administered?
Let me give you a hint: If she did set this up with the camera, planned insubordination, and entrapped him, it's because she knew what would happen. The only way she could have known what would happen is if it had happened before. In a predictable, patterned way.
87
@80. Say she did it on purpose, baited him into losing his temper, fought the punishment to make the beating worse for the camera.... still doesn't make his a reasonable adult response. That would mean she has way more power in her family relationships than an abuser would want to give up, no? That she can control him by doing things that would make him blow up?
What would be a reasoned adult response to computer violations? Remove the computer. What does a beating have to do with computer usage? Nothing; it’s for him to show how much power he’s got over her. And as a 16-year-old adolescent, she was already running low in the power game.
What if she had baited him to trap him on the camera? He couldn’t have been baited to whip her if that was never a device he used. If he used reason and creativity to parent, he would have found a better way to discipline and the video would only show him talking to his daughter, not screaming at her.
What would be a reasoned adult response to computer violations? Remove the computer. What does a beating have to do with computer usage? Nothing; it’s for him to show how much power he’s got over her. And as a 16-year-old adolescent, she was already running low in the power game.
What if she had baited him to trap him on the camera? He couldn’t have been baited to whip her if that was never a device he used. If he used reason and creativity to parent, he would have found a better way to discipline and the video would only show him talking to his daughter, not screaming at her.
88
@80: If she did "set it up" she was only capable of doing so because she knew that he was abusive when he lost his temper. And no, getting proof that your father is physically abusive when he's angry is NOT morally problematic, however you go about it.
That aside, it's irrelevant what the outcome would have been if she had just "said she was sorry and taken a few hits on the ass" (ew) because what followed when she didn't was abuse. There's no excuse for that; her refusal to consent to being beaten does not justify it.
That aside, it's irrelevant what the outcome would have been if she had just "said she was sorry and taken a few hits on the ass" (ew) because what followed when she didn't was abuse. There's no excuse for that; her refusal to consent to being beaten does not justify it.
89
I only read about half of the comments, but to everyone who is saying "good luck to her getting over this" and she's going to need years of therapy, etc, I say, Fuck that. I realize these comments are a way of being sympathetic, but let's stop dooming victims of abuse to miserable, fear-based lives. Not all abused children grow up to be fucked-up adults. Lots of people (me, for one) can grow into adults who learn to live in the present, forgive (or forget) their abusers and put the past behind them. This is not denial; this is wanting to live a life that isn't defined things other people did or said to you in your past. Hate her parents all you like ,but give this woman some credit.
91
This guy is one sick ticket. The language he uses and the duration of the attack crossed every line between abuse and legal corporal punishment in existence. It looks like in Judge Adams court room anything short of murder to normal parenting. This girl ha d no legal recourse. With Daddy being the chielf judge, who was going to follow up on a complaint? The statute of limitations has run out, but the plug needs to be pulled on this man's career on the bench. Perhaps he's packed up his guns abd belt and headed to Mexico. Poor Mexico!
92
you think this guy's a sicko?
what percentage of people born before 1990 endured a beating or two like that? 50%? 90%?
In many countries, parents expect teachers to beat kids who perform poorly.
This is the worldwide norm.
It might wrong, counter-productive, etc. But that doesn't make the perpetrator a sicko.
what percentage of people born before 1990 endured a beating or two like that? 50%? 90%?
In many countries, parents expect teachers to beat kids who perform poorly.
This is the worldwide norm.
It might wrong, counter-productive, etc. But that doesn't make the perpetrator a sicko.
93
@92; I have to disagree. Perhaps being hit with a belt as punishment rather than some other form of discipline used to be common, but even in those days the majority of parents doing it did it reluctantly because they thought it was good for the child in the long run, and NOT screaming obscenities at the kid and shouting, "I'll beat you into submission!" THAT's what makes this guy a sicko, not the fact that he hit her as punishment, or used a belt.
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