SL Letter of the Day: Sex and the Demanding Boyfriend
by Dan Savage
on Mon, Nov 21, 2011 at 4:37 PM
I'm a twenty-year-old female college student living with my twenty-three-year-old boyfriend. We've been dating for two years and our sex life has always been awesome. My boyfriend has a high libido, so high that I can't always get him off when he wants it (which is about four times a day on average). He says I don't want to have sex with him, when we have sex probably four times a week and I'm totally happy to give him head, jerk him off, or take off my clothes for him any other time he asks. Whenever we sit down together, he's immediately horny. He can't get things done, he irritates me with his constant asking, and he gets cranky when I have to say no. Is this a ridiculously high libido? I try to be GGG, and he does the same for me, it's just tiring feeling so guilty about not having sex with him constantly. I've started just telling him to masturbate to porn and he does it willingly but usually whines a little to me first about how I "never" want to have sex. Totally false! My body just can't take it every day. What do I do? I have a life beyond sex!
My Boyfriend Is Incredibly Horny
My response after the jump...
At two years your boyfriend is getting vaginal intercourse four times a week plus handjobs, blowjobs, and visuals—you standing there with your clothes off—whenever he likes? And a cheerful okay to watch porn and jerk it when he feels the need?
You're not trying to be GGG, MBIIH, you are GGG.
Your boyfriend doesn't realize how good he's got it, MBIIH. He has a high libido, so does his girlfriend, and he doesn't lack for sex. What he lacks is perspective: he clearly doesn't understand or appreciate what it's like to be on the receiving end of all that dick. Saying something like this might help him understand: "You know I love you, honey, and you know I love having sex with you. But if your hole got fucked each and every time we had 'sex,' you wouldn't want to have 'sex' more than four times a week either." (I'm putting "sex" in quotes here because your boyfriend defines sex as "vaginal intercourse." I don't. In fact, I think oral, handjobs, and visuals-with-a-partner also count as sex.)
If that doesn't do the trick, MBIIH, buy your boyfriend a dildo that's roughly the same size as his dick. Then tell him that he can fuck your hole whenever he wants—so long as he fucks his own hole first, while you watch, for a good twenty minutes. Then he can fuck yours.
That might help him appreciate how good he's got it.