This year's Seattle International Comedy Competition (SICC) has been a well-documented success, and after a month of shows, SICC is finally gearing up to crown a winner this weekend. You still have two opportunities to see the five finalists perform—at 8:00 pm Saturday night at the Admiral Theater in Bremerton, and at the final show (glory be!) at 8:00 pm Sunday night at the Comedy Underground.

They're all funny, accomplished comedians. In an attempt to convey that without spoiling the best parts of their routines (and also because I'm kind of a cunt) I sent them the first lines of poem on Thanksgiving Day and ordered them to finish it. Here's the poem:

Ruth and Johnny Side by Side
Went Out for an Auto Ride
They Hit a Bump
Ruth Hit a Tree
And John....

Their responses after the jump.

Mrs. Hughes: Died unhappily.

Rodney Sherwood: Fled the scene of the accident. Ruth was his wife’s sister. They were having an affair. To make matters worse, it’s John’s wife’s car. A piece of crap car she got with a high interest loan from those A-Holes at Pierre Money Mart.

Seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if the odometer had been rolled back.

The seat belt latch was faulty so when they hit the bump, Ruth was ejected from the car and ended up impaled on the tree. There’s no upside here.

Moral of the story: If you’re gonna cheat on your wife with her sister, take the bus.

Rick Kunkler: Blah....Blah.....Blah...Whatever.......Fuck Michele Bachmann.

Patrick Keane: And John smiled mysteriously.
For in this current economy,
He now only had to pay one fee,
For this Year's SICC.

Mike Baldwin, meanwhile, didn't finish the poem—he just sent me a huge photo of his head:

This is poetry in motion.
  • Mike Baldwin
  • Poetry in motion.