Stop your screeching, bitch. As a woman, I get it: It can be hard to grasp authority and make men listen to you, so sometimes you have to be a hard-ass. But being a screechy, whiny, self-indulgent bitch isn't the way to assert control over a situation. I've had enough of your pouting, threats, and fucking high-pitched voice. We know, as reporters, that we need to meet deadlines. It's pretty fucking clear, you stupid cunt. You threatening that we "don't want to fucking see you mad" every time you mention a deadline gives me the tremendous desire to make you mad, because then at least I might know what you are capable of. As of now, all I get to see is your insecurity ruining your chances of being respected by any member of the staff. So shut the fuck up, woman. Stop being a controlling bitch and calm the fuck down. Or don't calm down, I really don't care if you are anxious about being listened to, but at least please, for the love of God, shut the fuck up.
I can't stop speculating who it could be about—we know it's a lady reporter writing about a lady editor, but nothing more.
What ladies are in managerial positions at publications in the city? There's Leah Baltus at City Arts; Brangien Davis at Seattle Magazine; Hanna Brooks Olsen who recently went on a "sabbatical" from Seattlest; Kathy Best, Heidi de Laubenfels, and a few other managing editors at the Seattle Times; our own Bethany Jean Clement (who seems constitutionally and anatomically incapable of screeching, but who knows what happens in other people's ears?)...
The pool is only so big. Which editor has sent a reporter into a tizzy?
UPDATE
Commenters and email correspondents have rightly pointed out that I've neglected entire swaths of local media—TV, radio (someone thought it might be Jenna Montgomery, the senior online editor at KUOW), some of the blogs. So this poll isn't just gratuitously cruel, it's also stupid! And useless! Sorry, everybody.
