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News & ArtsMonday, January 9, 2012
2012 Santorum Slings Mud—At Least It Looks Like Mud—In New Hampshire
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jan 9, 2012 at 8:03 AM
Politics is so ugly:
Officials from Rick Santorum’s presidential campaign confirmed over the weekend that the candidate had instructed them to quickly develop a new, preferably disgusting, sexual term for fellow Republican candidate and competitor Mitt Romney. “It is correct that we are working on a counter-balance to the term ‘Santorum’, which as everyone knows by now is defined as ‘the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex,’ ” said Santorum campaign manager Mike Biundo.
“Currently, we’re considering whether a ‘Romney’ should mean ‘having sex with a dog on top of a car while going to Canada on vacation with your family,’ or ‘anally ejecting previously inserted uncooked cranberries into the orifice of the cooked turkey with which you’re engaging in various sexual activities.’”
“We’re still working on it though,” admitted Biundo.
3
OK, I was taken in for a few moments. Then I checked the front page and saw this is an Onion imitator. This didn't seem like a real story.
5
Danny, you still haven't clarified several points in the new definition that are troubling homosexual fanboys-
>why is semen not part of santorum?
are the lads doing it wrong if they ejaculate?
>also, you said that if they are doing it "right" there is no santorum. Where does the lube go? Must the bottom hold it in until his guest(s) leaves and then discreetly evacuate it?
Is there some rule about not showing one's semen or lube?
And what about the AIDS virus?
Is that part of santorum?
20% of all homosexuals are DYING to find out.....
>why is semen not part of santorum?
are the lads doing it wrong if they ejaculate?
>also, you said that if they are doing it "right" there is no santorum. Where does the lube go? Must the bottom hold it in until his guest(s) leaves and then discreetly evacuate it?
Is there some rule about not showing one's semen or lube?
And what about the AIDS virus?
Is that part of santorum?
20% of all homosexuals are DYING to find out.....
6
oh Danny you wit!
slinging 'mud', OR IS IT?...
we see what you did there,
you poo humorist you.....
slinging 'mud', OR IS IT?...
we see what you did there,
you poo humorist you.....
7
I think it's funny that there is not a buttsex-obsessed homosexual in the entire world as obsessed with buttsex as our little troll....
Much funnier than the article. There has to be a way to work into the story Romney's vacationing with the dog strapped to the roof of the car, but this isn't it. Nice try though.
Much funnier than the article. There has to be a way to work into the story Romney's vacationing with the dog strapped to the roof of the car, but this isn't it. Nice try though.
8
Did you guys see this one?
Santorum on why Iran can't have nuclear weapons: "They're a theocracy that has deeply embedded beliefs that the afterlife is better than this life":
http://video.msnbc.msn.com/meet-the-pres…
Santorum on why Iran can't have nuclear weapons: "They're a theocracy that has deeply embedded beliefs that the afterlife is better than this life":
http://video.msnbc.msn.com/meet-the-pres…
10
I'm finding this hard to believe. Santorum has publicly said that he doesn't approve of sexual license or obscenity or name-calling. I could buy him redefining Romney as something that meant flip-flopper or communist or traitor or Dan Savage fan but not as something sexual. And that stuff about Romney hoping to see Santorum performing fellatio in a restroom? I'm not sure this article isn't a hoax.
But they do get the reason for the coining right: "strident anti-homosexual views" is actually a good way to describe that stuff that Mr. Santorum said.
But they do get the reason for the coining right: "strident anti-homosexual views" is actually a good way to describe that stuff that Mr. Santorum said.
14
I'm pleased, I'm able to give the Stranger a few pennies from Santorum when I click on his add on the Slog page. I'm sadden that santorum has fallen to #3 in Google, but I search it every day trying to do my best to get it back to #1 or at least #2. If Santorum does show up on your Slog page, it means, you're not Googling santorum enough.
17
The problem is that the GOP is so crazy, it's becoming difficult to differentiate between parody/satire of them & their actual quotes. I mean, The Onion could have 'written' that ludicrous quote Joe S. linked to, but he in fact said it. They've gone off the deep end, and that's kinda funny in and of itself. But not really.
18
I was talking to my mom about Romney and the dog story and she didn't believe me! It is astounding that some of these people continue to be successful politicians
19
@12, thank you, that actually made me laugh out loud!
(Van Swearengen always reminds me of my SIL, who was fond of telling her little brother to: "Grow up before I throw up!")
(Van Swearengen always reminds me of my SIL, who was fond of telling her little brother to: "Grow up before I throw up!")
20
@5: I'm a straight guy who has never had buttsecks, so take what I say with a grain of salt.
It's typical for guys to wear a rubber during anal sex to avoid getting ass-stank on their dick.
When anal sex is performed properly, the right amount of lube is used; enough that nobody ends up in pain, but not so much that it dribbles out and gets things all nasty. (Remember, the large intestine is all about absorbing water; small amounts of water-based lube will just get taken up by the tissue of the anus.)
Dan, you wise and knowledgeable butt pirate, am I correct?
It's typical for guys to wear a rubber during anal sex to avoid getting ass-stank on their dick.
When anal sex is performed properly, the right amount of lube is used; enough that nobody ends up in pain, but not so much that it dribbles out and gets things all nasty. (Remember, the large intestine is all about absorbing water; small amounts of water-based lube will just get taken up by the tissue of the anus.)
Dan, you wise and knowledgeable butt pirate, am I correct?
21
OMG Danny- have you seen THIS on abc news?!
"Last week, President Obama’s Justice Department filed a legal brief against same sex marriage in which it compared gay unions to incestuous ones and that of an underage girl – in the sense that states have the right to not recognize marriages that are legal in other states or countries.
The timing of the brief, which the president of the leading gay and lesbian rights organization said caused his community “pain,” is awkward, given that next Thursday, June 25, the Democratic National Committee is hitting up the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community for cash in a fundraiser featuring Vice President Biden.
As John Aravosis at AmericaBlog reports, gay donors, outraged at the legal brief, are withdrawing their support from the event.
The treasurer of the DNC, Andrew Tobias, finds himself distancing himself from the brief, as Ben Smith of Politico reports.
"If this debacle of a brief represented the president's views, I'd boycott too," Tobias said in an e-mail. But Tobias insisted that he “personally totally believe(s) in the president.”
David Mixner, a former adviser to President Clinton, is not so sold, writing that the brief is a “sickening document” that “could have been written by the Rev. Pat Robertson. Using the worst of stereotypes, it intimates that we don't have constitutional guarantees, invokes scenarios of incest, of children and advocates that we don't have the same rights as others who have struggled for civil rights.”
Mixner says many scholars don’t think the Obama administration needed to defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which states that states don’t have to accept same sex marriages from other states. Some disagree. But “to a person, they say that the response is way out of line, totally unnecessary and goes far beyond anything required. They all agree that if the Department of Justice felt they had to respond, a simple, few-paged brief on the very limited issue before the Federal Court would have been all that was necessary.”
The brief, Mixner argues, “undercuts every conceivable argument that the LGBT community would use to fight for the repeal of DOMA. Right-wing nut cases can now just simply quote horrible stuff from this hateful brief and proclaim loudly it was filed by the Obama Justice Department.”
For that reason, Mixner withdrew his support from the DNC fundraiser.
As did big Democratic gay donors Andy Towle and Alan Van Capelle, executive director of the Empire State Pride Agenda and Foundation.
Aravosis is mad, criticizing "this rather ill-timed and inappropriate Democratic effort to milk money from our community at the same time Democrats are equating us with incest and not lifting a finger on any of our legislation priorities in Congress or the White House. It's not awfully clear why any gay person would give a Democrat a dime ever again.”
More...
"Last week, President Obama’s Justice Department filed a legal brief against same sex marriage in which it compared gay unions to incestuous ones and that of an underage girl – in the sense that states have the right to not recognize marriages that are legal in other states or countries.
The timing of the brief, which the president of the leading gay and lesbian rights organization said caused his community “pain,” is awkward, given that next Thursday, June 25, the Democratic National Committee is hitting up the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community for cash in a fundraiser featuring Vice President Biden.
As John Aravosis at AmericaBlog reports, gay donors, outraged at the legal brief, are withdrawing their support from the event.
The treasurer of the DNC, Andrew Tobias, finds himself distancing himself from the brief, as Ben Smith of Politico reports.
"If this debacle of a brief represented the president's views, I'd boycott too," Tobias said in an e-mail. But Tobias insisted that he “personally totally believe(s) in the president.”
David Mixner, a former adviser to President Clinton, is not so sold, writing that the brief is a “sickening document” that “could have been written by the Rev. Pat Robertson. Using the worst of stereotypes, it intimates that we don't have constitutional guarantees, invokes scenarios of incest, of children and advocates that we don't have the same rights as others who have struggled for civil rights.”
Mixner says many scholars don’t think the Obama administration needed to defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which states that states don’t have to accept same sex marriages from other states. Some disagree. But “to a person, they say that the response is way out of line, totally unnecessary and goes far beyond anything required. They all agree that if the Department of Justice felt they had to respond, a simple, few-paged brief on the very limited issue before the Federal Court would have been all that was necessary.”
The brief, Mixner argues, “undercuts every conceivable argument that the LGBT community would use to fight for the repeal of DOMA. Right-wing nut cases can now just simply quote horrible stuff from this hateful brief and proclaim loudly it was filed by the Obama Justice Department.”
For that reason, Mixner withdrew his support from the DNC fundraiser.
As did big Democratic gay donors Andy Towle and Alan Van Capelle, executive director of the Empire State Pride Agenda and Foundation.
Aravosis is mad, criticizing "this rather ill-timed and inappropriate Democratic effort to milk money from our community at the same time Democrats are equating us with incest and not lifting a finger on any of our legislation priorities in Congress or the White House. It's not awfully clear why any gay person would give a Democrat a dime ever again.”
22
@20
No answer?
bummer.....
He called on the name of Danny from morning even until noon, saying, O Danny, hear me. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And he leaped upon the keyboard which was made.
And it came to pass at noon, that The Troll mocked him, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a pervert; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked!
No answer?
bummer.....
He called on the name of Danny from morning even until noon, saying, O Danny, hear me. But there was no voice, nor any that answered. And he leaped upon the keyboard which was made.
And it came to pass at noon, that The Troll mocked him, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a pervert; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked!
23
@22: Nah bro, it was already past noon when I asked that question. Thank you for suggesting what Dan might be up to, but I try not to concern myself with what other people do with their free time.
24
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If they sincerely try to do this to Romney, it's a tip of the hat to Dan and his strategy. Hmm... will this now become a regular practice in American politics?
25
Somebody please shove a dildo up troll-y buttpirate's buttsecks-starved poop chute already. It needs it SO badly.
26
Willard... now this aint hard to figure out... Willy... Willy Wonka... Willy Wonky Romney, he's just CRAAAAZY! (if only, then he'd be interesting...and human).
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