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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Respectfully Engaged: An Email Exchange

Posted by on Wed, Jan 11, 2012 at 8:36 AM

As someone with gay family (whom I love dearly) I can honestly say: You are simply a vile self-hating human being. I can deal with intelligent discourse but you are just hateful. You hate yourself, enjoy that!—BRF

··················

Would you describe Santorum's comments comparing consensual gay relationships—including my 17 years with my husband—to dog fucking and child rape as "intelligent discourse"? Santorum made vile, hateful remarks at our expense, we made one at his.—Dan

··················

Wow, you wrote back. Im not unimpressed. But you have totally twisted Santorum's words to serve your purpose. His ACTUAL words: "That's NOT to pick on homosexuality. It's NOT, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be." So, you're either not that bright at all, or you are dishonest. Your pick.

Conservatives do not dislike gay people. It is merely a statistical fact children raised within the traditional nuclear family are much more likely to receive a higher education, much more likely NOT to live below the poverty line, and much more likely to raise children in a nuclear family who are, in turn, likely to do the same. There's nothing wrong with a presidential candidate promoting those values.

The President has to do what's right for the WHOLE nation, not every individual segment of society. No one is saying don't be gay, NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU DO. Marriage is granted a special status with special priveleges because the value set of the nuclear family is better for our country. Sorry if that pisses you off. I'm sure you are a fine parent, and if you are I would much rather you than some jerk-off wife beater raise kids. But we're talking MACRO, not MICRO.

You would be doing the responsible thing by removing that website. And I would venture to say if you were to put aside the pride of wanting to be right, you would admit your actions have hurt your readership more than helped. So do the right thing. Disagree with class and respect. No one disrespected you.

Thanks for reading with an open mind.—BRF

··················

Santorum has confirmed that he said what he said.

And the studies that conservatives point to that supposedly "prove" kids do better with a mom and and dad are actually studies that compare two-parent families to single-parent families. Kids with two moms or two dads are being raised in... two-parent families. And a mountain of research shows that our kids do just as well—and, as some studies have shown, better (because we rarely become parents by accident; all our kids are wanted kids)—as kids raised by a mom and a dad. Watch Al franken nail a religious conservative attempting to cite those studies here.

And if the state is in the marriage business solely to advance the interests of children... why would the state (two of them: WA and OR) make me and Terry the parents of our son... and then refuse to let us marry?

I may or may not remove the website at some point.—Dan

··················

I'm gonna sit with my wife now and watch 'Revenge.' You know, becuase dudes really dig that show. I sincerely appreciate the conversation, though. Regards.—BRF

··················

We are taking our son to the movies now. Best to your family—no snark, total sincerity.—Dan

··················

Right, as stipulated, you are great parents. No one is saying don't adopt kids. No one is saying don't have rights similar to married couples. Have kids, get your hospital visits, get a will, and all that. YOU STILL CHOOSE TO NOT PROCREATE. You therefore should not be entitled to the same PRIVILEGES as a married, procreating couple contributing to the numbers of people in our society. Giving otherwise unwanted children a place is noble, but you did not make them and you won't make more. If and when you do, by all means enjoy. Why is the difference lost on you?

And what does that have to do with you using your weaker-minded fan base to promote all that crap about anal debris and lube? Seriously, man, what about that is cool? Or responsible?

You are motivated by your own self-interest, as you should, so I would expect you to not agree. And you shouldn't. But at least acknowledge that Santorum may not be the homophobic self-righteous prick you thought he was. Your points are valid, in your own interest, and we aknowledge that. we just don't believe that is what's best overall.

Gay couples go through a lot of shit to adopt kids, I certainly hope that 100% of them are freakin' all-star parents. Totally not the issue and a bit disingenuous to point that out.—BRF

··················

Why should my child have to shoulder special disadvantages—our inability negatively impacts his safety and security, financially and otherwise—that children who were adopted by heterosexual couples do not? Why are we punished for not procreating when straight couples who could've procreated and choose to adopt instead are not? If i should die, BRF, my husband, a stay-at-home dad for 12 years, will not get my social security benefits, and my son will likely face impoverishment—all because one of his parents has the wrong genitals. That hardly seems fair.

And, I'm sorry, but we allow elderly couples to marry. We allow infertile couples to marry. We allow couples who have no intention of having children to marry. You can't declare that marriage is defined by procreation only when gay people want to marry. If society wants to limit marriage to couples who have their own biological children—adopted doesn't cut it!—then okay. But some consistency, please: Newt should not have been allowed to marry Callista, Rush should not have been allowed to marry whomever it is he's married to now, Bob Dole should not have been allowed to marry Elizabeth Dole, and all opposite-sex couples who discover they're infertile after the wedding should have their marriage licenses revoked.

And what about gay parents who do procreate? Many lesbians "choose to procreate" using donor semen; many gay men go the surrogacy route with donor eggs and rent-a-wombs. These gay men and lesbians are "contributing to the numbers of people" burning through the earth's limited resources—do they get to marry? If not, why not?

If you don't see the logic here, BRF, then I would respectfully suggest that you are the one being disingenuous.—Dan

··················

THIS is what your website should read. THIS is a reasoned argument.

We disagree, but I can respect your position when you artuculate it this way. I won't take the time to rebut, no one's going to change their minds here. And I'm really not that important to you anyway, but I respect the fact that you took the time to write.

Time to work the 2nd job, this economy sucks. Hope your son enjoyed the flick. Turns out Revenge is tomorrow night.—BRF

 

Comments (174) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
tehjakers 1
Trolls gonna troll?
Posted by tehjakers on January 11, 2012 at 8:47 AM
ryanayr 2
Who said you had to be engaged in intelligent discourse all the time? Isn't that why the Stranger exists? Which isn't a swipe, but reading self-serious newspapermen hem and haw about issues and pretend they are wholly objective is not fun or interesting. Sometimes a nasty website is necessary for a nasty man. That website made Santorum into a joke, which he is. His views on contraception should disqualify him from being a mayor of a small town, let alone a senator.
Posted by ryanayr on January 11, 2012 at 8:50 AM
3
When BRF says "I won't take the time to rebut", he really means: "There is nothing remotely reasonable that I could say to defend my irrational viewpoint against your well-thought-out argument".
Posted by jzimbert on January 11, 2012 at 8:53 AM
4
So my husband and I should not have been allowed to marry because we deliberately chose not to procreate. Oops, sorry about that!
Posted by Wasting a perfectly good marriage on January 11, 2012 at 8:56 AM
5
You really do catch more flies with honey! It's great how you helped this guy soften his rhetoric. (Perhaps you've also helped him to reconsider his overall viewpoint, even if he doesn't say so here.) That said, I love the spreading santorum site. Please don't make it go away until he is out of the race. Santorum is getting everything he deserves.
Posted by mitten on January 11, 2012 at 8:59 AM
6
Why is it that every bigoted wingnut insists that they deserve to have every obvious point explained to them, personally, over and over and over and over and over again?

Posted by judybrowni on January 11, 2012 at 9:00 AM
7
The only condition under which taking down Spreading Santorum would be OK is if Google blacklists it.

Otherwise, it should stay up forever. Even when Chinese supplants English in 2083, it should just be translated and maintained.
Posted by Dave M on January 11, 2012 at 9:01 AM
MasMadness 8
Neat.
Posted by MasMadness on January 11, 2012 at 9:03 AM
9
Santorum got smeared in New Hampshire!
Posted by Shatneriffic on January 11, 2012 at 9:04 AM
10
And this entire exchange would not have happened if santorum had never been redefined. The redefinition created a ton of discussion and had people reevaluating their views. Reason enough to keep the website going.
Posted by SeattleKim on January 11, 2012 at 9:07 AM
11
There are a million websites with reasoned arguments. This guy is actually an example of the shocking website leading him to the well reasoned argument..not that everyone gets to just knock on Dan's door and sit down for a chat.
Posted by foodpillsyes on January 11, 2012 at 9:07 AM
john t 12
I hate disingenuous two-faced douchebags like BRF, who's all "I think you're a loathsome aberration who deserves to be treated like a second-class citizen, but I hope you and your family have a nice day at the movies anyway and God Bless! I know you just rhetorically handed my ass to me on a platter, but I think we should just respectfully agree to disagree, you fucking pervert."
Posted by john t on January 11, 2012 at 9:07 AM
13
Danny is way beyond reason on the point,
but,
as the article Danny linked points out,
Santorum's language and argument is EXACTLY what the SCOTUS and Obama's Justice department have used in legal briefs.

\Danny has a very personal
very obsessive obsession/infatuation with Santorum
and chooses
(or maybe he has no choice-
perhaps it is a manifestation of mental disease....)
to express it in a very public very crude obnoxious way.

Public figures often draw attention from unbalanced individuals.
Hinckley, Chapman, Savage.....
Posted by APA on January 11, 2012 at 9:11 AM
metardtard 14
That guy is an idiot and I hate it when people who are losing an argument say, "Well, we're going to have to agree to disagree..." Whatever, asshole...
Posted by metardtard on January 11, 2012 at 9:14 AM
undead ayn rand 15
"As someone with gay family (whom I love dearly) I can honestly say: You are simply a vile self-hating human being. I can deal with intelligent discourse but you are just hateful. You hate yourself, enjoy that!—BRF"

Sounds like a Sullivan-ish Log Cabiner who will be *loved* by the GOP mainstream just as soon as those pesky gays stop complaining about the loudmouth asshole Presidential candidates and their horrible rhetoric.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 9:14 AM
16
"Santorum made vile, hateful remarks at our expense, we made one at his..."

The world is full of folks who are willing to engage in vile hateful behavior.

Danny proudly adds himself to the list.

They do not make the world a better place,
the fanboys above are blowing out their asses when they imagine that some great good has come from it-
the world becomes a better place in spite of the vile hatefulness.

Danny could contribute something positive to the conversation if he chooses.

"santorum" is not it.
Posted by Savage is a vile, hateful homofascist on January 11, 2012 at 9:16 AM
Crazy Cat Guy's Husband 17
And, Dan, you might add this to your argument:

Five states allow certain couples to marry only if they can't conceive children.

http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=state…;

Posted by Crazy Cat Guy's Husband on January 11, 2012 at 9:23 AM
sloegin 18
@6 Standard rhetoric tactic for trolls to derail the argument.
Posted by sloegin on January 11, 2012 at 9:25 AM
19
Can we see that Taiwan animation of Santorum again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=8yQ…
Posted by seatackled on January 11, 2012 at 9:28 AM
20
The almost entirely unilateral civility just depresses me. I don't think the time will ever come when we don't have to be the nice ones, the respectful ones, the ones to turn the other cheek seventy times upon seventy.
Posted by vennominon on January 11, 2012 at 9:30 AM
undead ayn rand 21
@15: Whoops, someone with gays *in* his family, not someone with a gay family.

Just another Conservative with "black friends, therefore [hateful rhetoric]..."

Scratch my previous assumption, this situation is classic regressive.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 9:33 AM
22
To all the haters who are dogging the letter-writer, consider that this guy is representative of the next wave of people who become in favor of marriage equality. He's okay with the rights and benefits of marriage -- but he's not ready to embrace the term.

Over the past dozen years, we've had millions of converts. At some point in the recent past, they held views similar to this guy's. Shut yourself off to them as haters and they're less likely to convert; engage them in the argument, and we just might win them over.

If anything, the message from this exchange should be the (calm) talking points and logic for walking people through this thinking. We're likely destined for a voter referendum on marriage this November; time to practice up on these conversations.

Well done, Dan.
Posted by Punditwatch on January 11, 2012 at 9:35 AM
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 23
I'm sure BRF has no clues about history, even the history of his allies. Even just four years ago, the anti-gay crowd was denouncing gay marriage as a "special right" that other Americans don't enjoy. Now he's righteously proclaiming it as a special right: for monogamous straight people!

Their logic is twisted, because nothing in their stance is logical.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 11, 2012 at 9:35 AM
puppydogtails 24
BRF, gay people have been making respectful, reasoned arguments for years now. The Christianists are the ones who just assert without trying to defend -- e.g. "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman." And ultimately, as with all other civil rights struggles, we are not going to ASK permission to have equality, we are going to demand and get it. We are all Americans and this inequality crap has been going on for far too long.
Posted by puppydogtails on January 11, 2012 at 9:36 AM
25
Wow
Posted by Hopiwan on January 11, 2012 at 9:36 AM
26
BRF, like Santorum himself, has deliberately taken Santorum's 2003 statement out of context. The full statement is as follows (http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/…

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality...."

Santorum was talking about the definition of marriage, and he briefly mentioned homosexuality in the middle of his statement. When he says, "It's not, you know, man on child..." he is talking about MARRIAGE, not homosexuality. MARRIAGE "is one thing. And when you destroy that....." Does BRF really think the "one thing" that is being destroyed is homosexuality?

It infuriates me that Santorum and his apologists are so dishonest -- or perhaps they're "not that bright at all." I haven't yet heard anybody call Santorum on this outright lie, and I'd like to see it thrown in his face.
Posted by arby on January 11, 2012 at 9:41 AM
27
@22 As much as it pains me to give that person credit after reading his letter, you are absolutely right. Thank you Dan for being a better person than me and engaging this dipshit instead of fighting him.
Posted by Cappelletti on January 11, 2012 at 9:41 AM
undead ayn rand 28
@22: "To all the haters who are dogging the letter-writer, consider that this guy is representative of the next wave of people who become in favor of marriage equality. He's okay with the rights and benefits of marriage -- but he's not ready to embrace the term."

And he'll fight against it to the very end. There were plenty of people with "close black friends" who embraced segregation. Oh, he's not against gay marriage *BUT*...

http://pharyngula.wikia.com/wiki/Tone_tr…

How about this, we'll stop using silly redefinitions of hateful politicians when the politicians stop being hateful.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 9:45 AM
undead ayn rand 29
But yes, sometimes it is best to just reply straight to the point without lowering ourselves to their rhetoric.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 9:46 AM
30
@21

Yes, someone with gays in his family--and he loves them! Most likely, he loves them so much that he will never stop trying to get them to abandon their gay ways and get into good straight marriages.
Posted by seatackled on January 11, 2012 at 9:47 AM
debug 31
Dan must have been bored. I would have shit-canned the troll after "Im not unimpressed". Bigotry may be deplorable but double negatives are unforgivable.
Posted by debug on January 11, 2012 at 9:47 AM
32
Am I the only person to catch that the dude said he's working *two jobs* and is obviously a pro-Republican "family values" conservative? When will these idiots realize that it's only the good ol' US of A (out of all OECD G20 nations) where ordinary people have to work TWO jobs to make ends meet for their families -- thanks to CONSERVATIVES who are actually pro-wealthy-families' net future value of trusts and carried interest (hedge fund yields / capital gains). Sheesh.

Go spend some time in Canada or France or Germany dude, you'd be working ONE job thanks to governments where their RIGHT wings are WAY to the left of Obama and the tax rates support child care and health care and a fair retirement. As a European capitalist friend says -- a guy who is self made & develops $100+ million office buildings in Europe -- even the CEOs in Europe are socialists compared to Americans. And if you're unlucky enough to be unemployed (half as likely in Germany than in USA) you won't starve whereas here you could.

Of course, the dude probably doesn't even known what OECD G20 means, thanks to Fox, and probably believes he's better off than someone in western Europe. Do I see my rich friend begging to come to America where he'd have a lower tax rate and be able to buy a second castle? NO!!! He has one castle already. Literally. One is enough for him. And he's in favor of socialized healthcare.

You can be self-made in ANY G20 country, dude, but only in America can you be hardworking and have to hold down 2 jobs just to feed your kids. WAKE UP! If you are pro family values you should be PRO-DEMOCRAT every time in every election, local, state, Senate, Congress, and President. Period.
Posted by delta35 on January 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM
HelpMeJebus 33
What a tool.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on January 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM
rob! 34
I think the whole gay-family ("whom I love dearly!") gambit that he leads with needs a little unpacking.

It's BECAUSE he loves them dearly that he feels perfectly fine saying that they don't deserve equal rights? Has he actually told them this to their faces, out of his abundance of love and concern? Or, more likely, has he bit his tongue at family gatherings while feeling fully justified (because of his love and all) in writing his anti-equality opinions anonymously to public forums? And because he has professed to them his undying love (without sharing his anti-equality convictions) and received their assurances of love in return, he feels they also concur with his anti-equality stance?

It's not quite the same as Elizabeth Santorum, a campaign operative, claiming that she has gay friends who support her father—but if BRF is going to stand behind his dearly-loved gay family members while throwing brickbats, maybe he should consider asking a few of them to share with Dan what they think of dear old Uncle BRF.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on January 11, 2012 at 9:55 AM
TheLando 35
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion."

The only arguments against gay rights are religious in origin.

I really fail to see why this is so hard for people to understand.
Posted by TheLando on January 11, 2012 at 10:00 AM
36
Arguing with people like this is like using logic with xians. It is doomed to fail.
Posted by Kylere on January 11, 2012 at 10:04 AM
37
Sorry, but BRF still comes off as a complete dick ("You hate yourself, enjoy that!" - um, really?). He won't take the time to rebut because he doesn't have a rebuttal. Dan, you came off pretty great in that exchange. You were the civil one with logically reasoned arguments. The LW was just spouting lines he'd been fed.
Posted by JrzWrld on January 11, 2012 at 10:05 AM
ScienceNerd 38
Bravo, Dan. Thank you for posting.
Posted by ScienceNerd on January 11, 2012 at 10:07 AM
39
@28: I am not sure I agree with you. When I was a kid, my town was overwhelmingly conservative - Ford and Regan carried the day there. However, something started happening during First Bush and it supported Clinton in '92 and Obama in '08. The community has aged and the older residents (the age of my parents) are the ones responsible for this voting trend (in fact, I that the residents who have moved in over the last decade - the ones with younger kids - are a bit more conservative). These are primarily white people who probably were interested but not active during the Civil Rights Movement, raised their kids in the early 70s to mid/late 80s. And when I engage with them (like my dad or my quite-religious mother-in-law), they are strong supporters of civil rights for everyone. They can articulate the "why" that helps them form their opinions and, if pressed, could probably admit to the fact that they have changed (and even point to the time when they did change).

I tend to believe like @22 - it is better to be reasonable with someone like the LW when you have the chance (much easier in a one-on-one discussion; less easy in a much more public forum) because they very well might change AND their kids are growing up in a much more progressive home and time than many of us (who are strong supporters of marriage equality) did.
Posted by From the South (as in CA) on January 11, 2012 at 10:07 AM
40
Perhaps his family know him to be such a bigot that they've not let him know that the macro IS the micro and affects real people, keeping them from living to the same standard as the straight population. This shit ruins lives. Someone lend him some gay shoes to walk a mile in...
Posted by private universe on January 11, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Bonefish 41
Keep the santorum website up. Your actual, logical arguments are posted regularly on your blog. There's no reason they can't be supplemented by a bit of humor (at the expense of the one guy who most deserves to be the butt of many jokes).

The homophobes made a choice to become immune to logic and reason when they decided to adopt a philosophy that is antithetical to logic and reason. As such, they can only expect so much respectful debate from us. Anyone who is open to intelligent debate already supports gay rights by now.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 11, 2012 at 10:11 AM
42
And ya know what? Loving family members "dearly" doesn't mean shit. I love an entire branch of my family dearly, would cheerfully donate organs to them. But they're a bunch of unstable lunatics, and I won't have them in my life. I wish them well and am grieved to hear when they are having problems, but I'm not going to give them a foothold in my day-to-day existence as long as they behave in ways that are hurtful to the people around them. I'm sure you love your gay family members, BRF, but that doesn't mean you respect them or view them as upstanding individuals - you know, the components for having a relationship of equals.
Posted by JrzWrld on January 11, 2012 at 10:11 AM
Alanmt 43
What bothers me the most about this guy's letter is that his assumption that there is no one past him on the anti-gay rights spectrum. No one with genuine animus toward gays. He asserts that every conservative thinks like he does and harbors no actual ill-will toward gay people. But that is just not true.

Maybe he and his close conservative friends do not dislike gay people. Buy many millions of conservatives actually do dislike gay people. Some of them hate gay people with a visceral passion.

Maybe he isn't saying "Don't be gay". Many others are, though, including Rick Santorum. Santorum wants to reinstitute sodomy laws. Nothing says "don't be gay" like making it criminal to be gay.

Maybe he doesn't care what gay people do in their lives. Many others do, including Rick Santorum. Santorum wants employers to be able to fire gay people for being gay, for public businesses to be able to refuse them services, to preclude them from being in the military, and for the government to enter their homes and arrest them for any private expression of intimacy. Santorum doesn't support physical violence against gay people. But he wants it to be okay for gays to be bullied in the name of Christ. And many conservatives actually do support physical violence against gay people.

This guy needs to stop projecting his own primitive but developing prototolerance on his fellow conservatives. There are too many that don't feel like he does. If he is a man of integrity, he ought to acknowledge that.
Posted by Alanmt on January 11, 2012 at 10:12 AM
JensR 44
@16 conservative youth is sad: http://www.planka.fm/ungmoderat.gif
Posted by JensR http://ohyran.se on January 11, 2012 at 10:13 AM
treacle 45
I have a major bone to pick with the concept of the "nuclear family" ... In the history of humanity the nuclear family is basically brand new. And as such, it's an aberration from traditional families, aka extended families ... And it weakens society as a result because young families don't have their relatives around to help with childcare and other important life challenges. So if someone is going to argue "traditional", just make sure we don't stop in the 1950s.
Posted by treacle on January 11, 2012 at 10:20 AM
in vino veritas 46
you should NEVER take spreadingsantorum down.
Posted by in vino veritas on January 11, 2012 at 10:20 AM
stirwise 47
Hmm. As a married hetero with zero interest in procreation, am I not supposed to have equal marriage benefits? This is news, since there wasn't a box on the license application for "wants kids."
Also, I know some married lesbians with babies they birthed themselves who would be really, really surprised to learn that the their relationship prevents them from procreating.
Posted by stirwise on January 11, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Mahtli69 48
Why is Mark Driscoll signing his emails "BRF"?
Posted by Mahtli69 on January 11, 2012 at 10:23 AM
Fnarf 49
@43, quite so.

He says "No one is saying don't adopt kids", but a large and mobilized force on the right is saying exactly that: Florida BANS gay adoption (though it has been overturned, just recently, in a court, and is still pending). Arkansas and Utah ban gay couples from adopting; Mississippi bans gay couples, but not single gay people, from adopting.

These are popular laws, and the Christian right is trying to enact similar laws in other states. He's simply wrong: many, many people are saying "don't adopt" and "don't have rights".

BRF's argument is completely erroneous and completely offensive. My reaction is actually much harsher than Dan's; I say FUCK YOU.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on January 11, 2012 at 10:26 AM
reverend dr dj riz 50
i've been that black friend that some bigots have spoken of as 'i know black people'.i've been tolerated during thanksgiving dinners when i couldn't get to my own family. i've been the only black person in the room more times than you'd care to count. i'd come to call myself an evangelical for civility and equal treatment and respect. it has NEVER worked to my advantage to be so. NEVER. it hasn't gotten me one job nor one decent living situation nor one loving companion.i don't think it's changed one 'loving mind' to treat other blacks with any iota of magnaminity that they managed to muster towards me. hell the turkey isn't even that good. i can't imagine being 'the gay in the family' works out any better for the gay, so when dan sometimes not so politely tells em to fuck the fuck off.. well ..my heart swells to the point of bursting.
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on January 11, 2012 at 10:27 AM
51
Dan wields the arguments well but we all know them by now: it's a well-worn path. And yet again, the social conservative bails before he sufficiently addresses them. Typical.

It just proves, yet again, that there are no logical, secular arguments against marriage equality. They don't exist and social conservatives will forever abandon the discussion before accepting that fact.

Maybe that's why the cowards Hutcherson and Pidgeon canceled. They know this will be the final result.
Posted by Lumpmoose on January 11, 2012 at 10:28 AM
52
Totally on the gay side here, but the best part of this exchange is that Dan admits his dude could never even support himself.
Posted by screemname on January 11, 2012 at 10:32 AM
kim in portland 53
Wow. That exchange was a lot like the ones I have had with family members, less name calling though. Cold get togethers those were. They finally saw the light, they finally admitted that their position was wrong. They are officially pro-equality GOP Christians. Able to be counted on when an immoral referendum comes around in their states, but they're still wedded to the GOP and that means they are still part of the problem. Hopefully continued dialog will help them see that. Slow is the bend towards justice.

I hopefully the LW has started that journey. Nice work, Dan.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on January 11, 2012 at 10:39 AM
schmacky 54
The more people like BRF attempt to "explain" themselves, the more incapable of critical thinking they reveal themselves to be. This is the essence of conservatism: Things should just "be a certain way," and that's that. Fuck this guy and his false kindness/condescension.
Posted by schmacky on January 11, 2012 at 10:43 AM
HelpMeJebus 55
@48 wins the thread.
Posted by HelpMeJebus on January 11, 2012 at 10:48 AM
56
As someone who strongly supports gay marriage, and who doesn't believe that there's anything morally wrong with homosexuality, I hate to say this, but I can kind of see how Santorum's 2003 comments can be interpreted, without butchering the syntax, to mean he DOESN'T think homosexuality is comparable to bestiality or paedophilia.

If you believe the constitution straight up, unambiguously says 'marriage is between a man and a woman' and a court strikes down a bill outlawing gay marriage, strictly speaking it's going against the constitution. You could probably be opposed to that decision just based on your constitutionalist zeal alone, without having to hate the gays. Because, of course, once you say gay marriage is okay in court (assuming the constitution explicitly says it isn't, but I haven't personally read it), the only reason that won't lead to legalizing bestiality and paedophilia is if society's squick line stays between gay marriage and dog fucking. Society's squick line SHOULD stay there, because homosexuality is okay, but dog/baby fucking is not, but the point is if the court says it can magically make one okay, legally there's no reason it can't make the others okay.

Of course, the social conservative right, Santorum included, are opposed to that theoretical decision because they think teh gayz are icky. The constitution arguments are probably somewhat sincere but there's a lot of window dressing for what they know are politically unpalatable arguments against basic human equality. I disagree with those moral arguments wholeheartedly, but at least in theory I can see the problem with courts making up laws as they go along, even if they are correcting what any sane individual (but not social conservatives) see as an obvious flaw in the constitution.
More...
Posted by derp on January 11, 2012 at 10:53 AM
Chris in Vancouver WA 57
Continuing the "us vs. them" mentality helps no-one. Evolve, people. And I mean EVERYONE.
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on January 11, 2012 at 10:57 AM
58
Kim, that sounds like some of my extended family. I had a very similar discussion with my mom. She was fine with "everything but marriage", but had immense difficulty allowing that one word to be used to describe same sex committed relationships. When I explained that separate but equal doesn't work, and described some of the injustices done to same sex couples, she finally started understanding why full marriage rights were necessary. She still doesn't like using the word "marriage" in connection with same-sex unions, but has conceded that anything less just won't allow for equal rights.
Posted by SeattleKim on January 11, 2012 at 11:00 AM
Chris in Vancouver WA 59
Uh...has anyone noticed the Santorum/NewsMax ads from Google Ads? If Dan & The Stranger were serious about this, they'd tell Google "thanks but no thanks". Or can't you pay the bills without them?
Posted by Chris in Vancouver WA on January 11, 2012 at 11:00 AM
undead ayn rand 60
@50: " it has NEVER worked to my advantage to be so. NEVER."

But surely you can take solace that your passive existence is justification for continued, active bigotry! :/
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 11:00 AM
61
Add me to the people who say that the "Santorum poop joke" prompted this guy to write to you, and a reasonable discussion ensued. He may be lying about actually considering what you had to say, but if we take it at face value, the poop joke lead to something worthwhile.

Never take spreadingsantorum.com down.
Posted by MLM on January 11, 2012 at 11:12 AM
kim in portland 62
I am glad to hear that you have had success too, Kim @58.

And...

@ neighbor Chris in Vancouver, I'll keep working on evolving, but there are times to make a stand and accept the fall out... angry family members, friendships ending over your position... I do attempt to speak up firmly with kindness though. As I see it we have one life to live and we have to be able to live with ourselves, too.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on January 11, 2012 at 11:13 AM
63
Don't take the site down, Dan. You're allowed to make fun of someone's name. It's not your fault that it caught on--it's Santorum's fault. He's a huge homophobic asshole and people were happy to roast him. And there's honestly nothing wrong with that.
Posted by MichelleZB on January 11, 2012 at 11:14 AM
faceupandsing 64
Personally, I take issue with "weak-minded."
Posted by faceupandsing on January 11, 2012 at 11:18 AM
kaboobie 65
@47 I didn't see any "wants kids" box on the license application either. What I did see, since my husband and I got married after same-sex marriage became legal in my state, was sections marked "Spouse A" and "Spouse B". That was awesome.
Posted by kaboobie on January 11, 2012 at 11:23 AM
Original Andrew 66
That's ironic that BRF watches Revenge, a show about a young woman taking revenge against self-absorbed people like BRF that blithely fuck others over to fit their own goals and paper-thin worldview. As always, conservatards totally lack self-awareness.
Posted by Original Andrew on January 11, 2012 at 11:24 AM
OutInBumF 67
Before obnoxious homos started being offensive, no one in this country thought we should have *any* protections for our relationships. Now a majority do, but not because we engaged in 'respectful dialog'. In 1969, instead of going peacefully to jail like society said they should, those obnoxious queens in the village tossed cop cars.
Keep that spreadingsantorum.com site splooshing its thing, Dan. It's the least you can do for that fuckwit Santorum and all his ilk.
Posted by OutInBumF on January 11, 2012 at 11:27 AM
reverend dr dj riz 68
@60
you'd be a fucking fool to construe my post or my encounters with these people as 'passive existence that justifies their continued active bigotry',as the letter writer explains these people need no justification for whatever their nonsense means. my point is that unreasonable people assume bigotry despite reason. try as one might to reason with them, it almost always pointless to try. i've argued and fought to the point of other peoples tears my disagreements with other peoples bigotries in their homes, in their faces.i stop short of raging on them because rage isn't my strong suit. rage just makes me sicker. in the end i remain a nice polite guy who won't shit in other peoples homes or lives when invited. ...but i don't return to them either
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on January 11, 2012 at 11:27 AM
69
As my Grandpa would say, don't piss with the skunks Dan. Ignore them.
Posted by john cocktosin3 on January 11, 2012 at 11:37 AM
thelyamhound 70
@26 beat me to it. The "it" in this quote . . .

"That's NOT to pick on homosexuality. It's NOT, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."


. . . refers not to homosexuality, but marriage. It seems that anyone with the audacity to suggest that Dan is "not that bright at all, or [...] dishonest" would either be bright enough to have picked up on that or honest enough to have caught it on re-reading.

On balance, the writer seems reasonable, but challenging the intelligence of those who clearly "got" what was being said where you did not is never sound rhetorical tactic.

@56 - I see what you're saying, but it seems to me that where opening marriage to same-sex couples (or even to plural arrangments, i.e. polygamy) only changes (really just modifies) the definition of marriage, whereas child marriage or marriage to non-humans changes the essential nature of all contract law and the definition of personhood. Indeed, even where bestiality is legal, marriage to the beast is not. Children and animals aren't excluded from marriage because we find child rape or sex with non-humans repugnant or immoral (though most of us do); they are excluded for the same reason they cannot vote, own property, or be tried as adults.
Posted by thelyamhound http://thebayinghound.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 11:38 AM
very bad homo 71
He still sounds like an idiot that's never going to get it. Treating everyone equally is a pretty basic concept.
Posted by very bad homo on January 11, 2012 at 11:48 AM
thelyamhound 72
@70 - Um . .. In this sentence . . .

I see what you're saying, but it seems to me that where opening marriage to same-sex couples (or even to plural arrangments, i.e. polygamy) only changes (really just modifies) the definition of marriage, whereas child marriage or marriage to non-humans changes the essential nature of all contract law and the definition of personhood.


. . . I should either have use "where" or "whereas," not both. I think I forgot that I had used the first by the time I got to the second. Maybe this year, I'll give up hypotaxis for Lent (yeah, right; I do not celebrate or acknowledge Lent, and would be hard-pressed to sacrifice anything so integral to my very being as hypotaxis).
Posted by thelyamhound http://thebayinghound.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 11:50 AM
73
@56

Actually, the constitution does not mention marriage at all. Don't believe me? Find it online and do a comuter search for "marriage." You'll get zilch. Nada.

Consitutional arguments about marriage are really based upon two clauses. One is the full-faith and credit clause, in which states agree to give (you guessed it) full-faith and credit to lisences and contracts granted in other states. This has a lot of commerical application--for instance, a corporation formed in one state does not have to reincorporate if it opens a branch or office in a second state--but it also has implications for marriage law. In essence, a marriage or a divorce granted in one state is automatically recognized in all fifty. That's why if you get married in Seattle and later move to Los Angeles, you don't have to get remarried, or if you divorce in Seattle and later move to Los Angeles, California will automatically uphold the child custody arrangement arrived at in Washington.

The second area of the constitution that has bearing is the 14th amendment, which guarantees all citizens equal protection under the law. This is one area where DOMA does not pass muster. Historically the federal government recognized all legally performed marriages. Now it recognizes some marriages performed in New York--but not others--as well as some marriages performed in Iowa--but not others--and some marriages performed in Connecticut--but not others. And so on and so on.
Posted by Clayton on January 11, 2012 at 11:58 AM
undead ayn rand 74
@68: I was being sympathetic, I may not have expressed it properly I fear.

@73: "Actually, the constitution does not mention marriage at all."

Ah, but the "intent" of the Founding Fathers blah blah constitutional expert blah.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 12:04 PM
75
Can we start a 'Love the hater, not the hate" campaign? Then we can be condescending and dismissive of these people and their concerns, rather than the other way around.

It feels to me like we're getting near somewhat like the end of legal segregation must have been, where only the last holdouts would publicly defend the practice, and in private have to defend their positions rather than the other way around. Still a long way to go, but it feels less hopeless than it did in 1992.
Posted by Chris Jury http://www.thebismarck.net on January 11, 2012 at 12:14 PM
76
@73

Ah, thanks. I stand by my theoretical arguments but if these guys are relying on a part of the constitution that exists only in their heads then they're full of santorum.
Posted by derp on January 11, 2012 at 12:16 PM
Kevin_BGFH 77
In his very last comment, BRF hits on something that I've been thinking about for a few weeks.

I know Dan doesn't have time to control the content of the Santorum website, but I think there are a few small things that could be done to improve it. I actually do Google the site periodically, not just to help its clickthroughs but also to read the Santorum-related articles posted. But I think there are a few sections that could be added prominently to help the site.

First, a lot of people who click through are still under the misimpression that Dan (and our) beef with Santorum is strictly about same sex marriage. But the site went up before same-sex marriage was such a big issue. The historical genesis relating to Santorum's comments about bestiality and pedophelia should be clearly explained (along with @70's refutation of Santorum's new-found explanation trying to mis-explain what he was saying). And it should spell out Santorum's ongoing attacks against LGBT on a whole host of issues. Wanting to deny gay couples the right to adopt. Wanting gay couples to be imprisoned for consensual, private sex in their own bedrooms (and straight couples if they engage in "improper" non-vaginal sex. Wanting to ban all forms of pornography without regards to the First Amendment. Wanting to ban abortion in all cases, including rape and incest -- and also wanting to ban all forms of contraception.

And also, perhaps something to address the conservative argument that mighty powerful Dan is bullying poor little Ricky Santorum.

The website could do a better job spelling that out in a prominent sidebar so it doesn't seem like silly name-calling.
More...
Posted by Kevin_BGFH http://biggayfrathouse.typepad.com/blog/ on January 11, 2012 at 12:18 PM
balderdash 78
You are motivated by your own self-interest, as you should, so I would expect you to not agree.

ALERT - ALERT - UNEXAMINED RANDIAN BULLSHIT DETECTED IN IMMEDIATE PROXIMITY TO SOCIAL CONSERVATISM - DO NOT ENGAGE - REPEAT DO NOT ENGAGE - SUBJECT UNRESPONSIVE TO LOGICAL DISCOURSE - SUBJECT INCAPABLE OF COGNITIVE DISSONANCE - ALERT - ALERT - DO NOT ENGAGE

"I won't take the time to rebut" is fooling no one. It means "I disagree on ideological grounds but have completely lost my rhetorical grasp on the situation so I am running away before I am forced to examine my own critically inconsistent ideas."
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 12:33 PM
79
"And what does that have to do with you using your weaker-minded fan base to promote all that crap about anal debris and lube? Seriously, man, what about that is cool?"

Seriously, man, what about calling Savage Love's fan-base weak-minded is cool, polite, or in any manner resembles a reasoned argument? Come back when you get over your hypocrisy, BRF, and in the meantime, stop insulting my intelligence and the intelligence of every person who reads this column.
Posted by jrandom on January 11, 2012 at 12:34 PM
balderdash 80
In addition, BRF is clearly not the sharpest tack, here, because he completely misses the point that spreadingsantorum exists exactly so that it will draw dickbags like him into dialogues like this.

I mean, he says, "THIS is what your website should read. THIS is a reasoned argument," but there are hundreds of websites out there, YouTube videos, what have you, that already have this same reasoned argument on them. Without spreadingsantorum, he would never have read or watched a single one of them. Guys like him are insular, self-satisfied conservatives who would otherwise never read Dan Savage, but because of the "Google problem," he has been exposed to a concentrated version of the most compelling arguments against his ass-backwards position, and even if he put his fingers in his ears and ran away today, he's still halfway toward being convinced just by virtue of having absorbed those arguments.

Congratulations, BRF. You have done exactly as you were meant to do. Mwahahaha.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 12:40 PM
81
Actually, I liked BRF. He was ready to accept intelligence in his opponent when he saw what he considered signs of it -- instead of (unlike Seattleblues) keep insisting that Dan must be a horrible guy because such is life. I'll go even as far as saying that the kind of argumentation Dan presents here -- clear, simple, understandable, logical, compelling -- should be present somewhere in the spreadingsantorum website, and prominently so (maybe a very visible link to a FAQ or mission statement page where those points are prominently presented?).

People like BRF aren't bad. They are the people that can be reached, because they haven't lost themselves (yet) in a closed cognitive space in which anything from 'the other side' is wrong by definition. Reachable people like him (unlike Seattleblues) are the ones that should indeed be reached. And, let's face it, the more reasonable they are the more they are likely to be (at first) disgusted by the strategy.
Posted by ankylosaur on January 11, 2012 at 1:03 PM
82
@30 - "Yes, someone with gays in his family--and he loves them! Most likely, he loves them so much that he will never stop trying to get them to abandon their gay ways and get into good straight marriages."

BRF doesn't sound like that kind of person at all. He has just fallen into a trap. He's bought the right's line that "it's OK to treat different things differently." What he doesn't understand - something that a majority (and growing!) of Americans do - is that in marriage we are so much more like opposite-sex couples than we are different. It is two HUMANS that marry, not two sets of genitals.

If BRF is going to be intellectually honest - as I believe he is attempting to be - he would have to admit that marriage should then be limited only to couples who can and intend to have children. (Though he still can't respond to the fact that even with lesbians and gay men, "life finds a way" as Jeff Goldblum said in "Jurassic Park.)

But because Homosexuality is so strange and off-putting to him - at least in regards to his own sexual behavior (I'm guessing here, the closet cases are usually more virulent than this guy, so I'm guessing full-on straight) - that difference feels HUGE to him. That's fine. He's allowed to experience that as a huge difference. But compared to all the ways my marriage is similar to those of my straight friends and family, it's really a pretty small difference.

So ultimately, I'd think/hope BRF would be loving and accepting if a family member came out to him. He'd still feel a little weirded out by the sex part, but because he knows this person, he knows that how they behave sexually doesn't entirely define who they are.

At that might one day help BRF to realize that it's OK to treat equal things equally. And human beings are equal.
More...
Posted by mistereks on January 11, 2012 at 1:21 PM
83
NEVER TAKE DOWN SPREADINGSANTORUM.COM

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER
Posted by Ray_Harwick on January 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM
undead ayn rand 84
@82: "If BRF is going to be intellectually honest - as I believe he is attempting to be - he would have to admit that marriage should then be limited only to couples who can and intend to have children."

If we're talking about sincerity, he would allow infertile couples/adopters to be married. This is why you give him too much credit.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 1:45 PM
85
@82 - That said, I also think BRF has a point. Santorum compared homosexuality to bestiality and pedophilia by expressing that he didn't think it was as bad as those two. He still thinks it's awful, just not quite as damnation-inducing awful as dog-fucking and child-raping.

What he IS saying is that homosexuality, bestiality and pedophilia are all out of the norm sexual behaviors. But so are monogamy and celibacy. The reason we, as a society, have decided to punish those who engage in bestiality and pedophilia is because there is coercion or lack of capacity to reason or lack of ability to defend oneself involved. Santorum seems to acknowledge that difference. I don't know if he's called for an overturn of Lawrence v. Texas, or if he doesn't believe states have to abide by that decision, and he is still far from a friend, but I do think in Santorum's original comments he was drawing a distinction of degree that Dan ought to acknowledge.

Santorum has done plenty to deserve the name change - it doesn't have to ONLY be about dog-fucking and child rape, Dan.
Posted by mistereks on January 11, 2012 at 1:50 PM
86
@84 - "If we're talking about sincerity, he would allow infertile couples/adopters to be married. This is why you give him too much credit."

I think we're saying the same thing. He DOES think infertile couples should be able to marry. But I think if he follows his own logic, that marriage is a privilege and is such because it brings children into the world, then he has to be in favor of DENYING infertile couples the right to marry, and GRANT it to gay couples who can show they have the resources (donated sperm or egg and willing womb) to create a child.
Posted by mistereks on January 11, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Chelydra_serpentina 87
I would pose this question to BRF:

All other factors being equal, do you believe same-sex relationships are inherently inferior - morally and socially - to straight relationships?

If his answer is yes, or "the factors can never be equal because gay relationships are not equal," no reasoned argument will convince him to change his mind on gay marriage and adoption.

If his answer is no, I wonder how he has been able to convince himself he's not a total hypocrite.
Posted by Chelydra_serpentina on January 11, 2012 at 2:21 PM
John Horstman 88
@45: Nailed it.

@70, 72: Made my day.

@73: Made my day EVEN BETTER.
Posted by John Horstman on January 11, 2012 at 2:26 PM
89
Ha!! When you grind his arguments into powder he says, "I'm not going to take the time to rebut now..." Translation: "I have no rational argument to make against what you've put forth at this point in our discussion so I'm going to run like the wind now."
Loves you Dan.
Posted by Lalala on January 11, 2012 at 2:52 PM
HellboundAlleee 90
He dishonestly dodged every point you disproved. especially that Rick Santorum is clearly a homophobic bigot. You showed it to him plain as day, and he went on as if that never happened. I hate pricks like this, and generally I like to grind these conversations to a halt until they at least acknowledge that I disproved their assertion.
Posted by HellboundAlleee http://hellboundalleee.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 2:53 PM
91
I agree with all who say the LW is a reasonable person who has swallowed the right's anti-same-sex marriage rhetoric hook, line and sinker. At one point early in the exchange he says that NOBODY is trying to deny gay people rights. Huh? That's EXACTLY what they are doing. It's obvious that he doesn't understand that righties like Santorum would gladly throw gay couples in jail simply for being who they are. If that isn't trying to take somebody's rights away I don't know what is! (Not that Santorum will stop with gay people - you know he is also after our right to control our own reproduction, so it's not just gay people's rights he wants to deny.)

Here is a link to a FABULOUS argument for same-sex marriage. The commenter who said it's a religious issue is absolutely right and this graphic explains that beautifully. It also deals with the rediculous contention that allowing same-sex marriage will lead to people marrying their toasters, children and/or dogs.

http://lolsnaps.com/12138/0/Gay-Rights-E…

Posted by SherBee on January 11, 2012 at 3:07 PM
92
Great job Dan in being calm, cool and collected. And your arguments obviously could not be assailed, hence the "we can agree to disagree" final email from BRF.

Someone running for the office of President shouldn't be surprised if his homophobic comments lead to push back. A Santorum Presidency would be disastrous for gay rights (and the rights of women). Thank God, that's not going to happen.
Posted by Patricia Kayden on January 11, 2012 at 3:15 PM
undead ayn rand 93
@91: "I agree with all who say the LW is a reasonable person who has swallowed the right's anti-same-sex marriage rhetoric hook, line and sinker. At one point early in the exchange he says that NOBODY is trying to deny gay people rights."

I don't understand why he couldn't just be insincere about his beliefs. Republicans lie regularly to avoid coming off like all manner of bigot.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 11, 2012 at 3:30 PM
94
You are admirably patient, Dan, in this exchange, but it's disheartening that despite being repeatedly corrected on many (but not all) of his basic factual errors, this guy refuses to budge.

Granted, changing your mind in the face of new facts can take some time, but dude, throw the person you're talking to a bone ad maybe at least admit a few of your errors here and there.
Posted by amiller92 on January 11, 2012 at 4:01 PM
balderdash 95
@93, the best liars are self-deceived.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 4:42 PM
stirwise 96
@65: Did you get into a pissing match about who gets to be which? Because I can totally see that happening with my spouse.
Posted by stirwise on January 11, 2012 at 4:43 PM
97
And all toilets in this kingdom will now be know as... "Johns"
Posted by Kitty Fishinger on January 11, 2012 at 4:45 PM
stirwise 98
@93: For some reason I feel like he believes he thinks the way he says he does, even if he's totally self-deceived like balderdash suggests. He goes into this exchange with a serious hate-on for Dan, so why would he try to impress someone he doesn't respect with lies about how he feels?
Posted by stirwise on January 11, 2012 at 5:28 PM
99
God, this guy’s argument for procreation make my stomach turn. Like breeding more people in this over populated world is what it's all about. Let’s just keep popping out as many babies as we can- because that’s what society is all about folks - and leave them with a toxic slew of a world to inherit. If all these asshole nut jobs cared even half as much about our environment as they do about stripping other people rights – anyone poor, gay, and with a uterus – I wouldn’t worry about our future generations, especially my daughters. Without an inhabitable environment, we as a society have no world ahead of us to speak of. Even animal know you don’t shit where you eat.

Posted by enoneo on January 11, 2012 at 6:34 PM
The Third Rail 100
Translation of the final response:

"My arguments have no internal coherency and I'm completely incabable of refuting any of the points you've made in this entire exchange, but rather than allow myself to challenge my narrow minded views, I'm just going to refuse to think about it because uh... I don't have time and after you took the time to respond to a half dozen e-mails from me, clearly you just don't care *cough cough*. Uh... gotta-go-to-work-now-bye."
Posted by The Third Rail on January 11, 2012 at 6:57 PM
101
Thanks for the great demonstration of how the mind of the committed ideologue, when confronted with the utter inanity of its worldview and unsupportability of its arguments, snaps closed with an all-but-audible click.
Posted by avast2006 on January 11, 2012 at 7:29 PM
mikethehammer 102
Speaking of Seattleblues, he's conspicuously absent of this thread, eh?
Posted by mikethehammer on January 11, 2012 at 8:41 PM
balderdash 103
You know, in the end, I think we really need to reserve judgement on BRF until he checks back in with Dan after he's had some time to think. It is basically impossible, like really neurologically infeasible, for a human being to change his mind about something he believes strongly over the course of a single argument. It takes time. When something we believe is demolished, we have to process the demolition and then slowly convince ourselves that it was our idea to begin with to change our minds. It's just the way we work, psychologically.

Dan, see if you can get BRF on the line again sometime down the line and see what he's thinking. I actually think it'd be really interesting to see if he makes any progress. I wouldn't necessarily bet on it, but it really could happen.
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on January 11, 2012 at 9:34 PM
venomlash 104
@65, 96: They should make it Spouse "a" and Spouse "α", like they did for yeast mating types so that they wouldn't have to make one A and one B.
Posted by venomlash on January 11, 2012 at 10:04 PM
105
Dan won, hands down, and BRF crawled back into the comfort of the little world that he's built to shield himself from having to think too hard. (I'm looking at you, middle America.) The comedians and satirists in this country who are saving some of us from jumping off a cliff are entitled to say what they please (I don't think the "Patriot Act" has stripped them of this right yet), and in this case as in so many others, Dan also happened to be right. But being right isn't the best justification. This is: "Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." –Mark Twain
Posted by foodinkits on January 12, 2012 at 5:40 AM
106
Danny asserts that homosexual pairings are "just as good" as heterosexual marriages
and that society should subsidize those pairings
and also teach children that being homosexual and homosexual pairing is "just as good" as heterosexuality.

There is an easy way to validate the "just as good" claim;
it's by playing one of the troll's favorite games:
"what if EVERYBODY did what I do?..."

What if EVERYBODY did what Danny does,
what if EVERYBODY was a homosexual,
what if EVERYBODY "married" someone of the same sex;
how would that be?

The short answer is that society would be crippled in 30 years and extinct in another 40.

wow.

And Danny really thinks it is in the best interest of society to subsidize THAT lifestyle?

Danny really wants us to teach our children that THAT is "just as good" as heterosexuality?

Really?
Posted by sorry Danny. Extinction≠"just as good" on January 12, 2012 at 5:53 AM
MirrorMan 107
I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't. After all the the incessant anti-Dan posting, after all the pointless, intellectually vacuous comments, all the head-in-the sand ignorance of facts and science, it actually happened. Anonytroll has posted something so mind-blowingly idiotic, so blatantly homophobic, so obviously biased and lacking in any verifiable reality whatsoever, that it has actually happened. Anonytroll has actually proved, beyond a shadow of any doubt, that it is dumber than any of us thought. After all, when you know you're right, who needs facts? Man, someone needs to find what school this lifeform attended, because either the school system has failed in ways that are beyond frightening, as seen in the education of Anonytroll, or Anonytroll is, indeed, about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Posted by MirrorMan on January 12, 2012 at 6:47 AM
108
107
a lot of huff and puff to say that you got nuthing?
why did you bother? we already knew THAT.....
Posted by Darwin cringes every time you draw a breath on January 12, 2012 at 7:03 AM
Lissa 109
@107: Don't read him MirrorMan. Nothing burns his poor banned bacon more than knowing he only gets heard if we chose.

@108: What's that sweetie? What? Speak up boy! Oh that's right. You can't .
Posted by Lissa on January 12, 2012 at 8:02 AM
MirrorMan 110
Lissa, I normally don't respond at all, but that last post was mind-numbingly ignorant that I find it almost impossible to believe that someone could be so purposefully stupid. As I said, almost. Anonytroll's comment is riddled with more holes than Bonnie & Clyde. The only answer I can logically grasp is brain damage. Oh, wait. It would have to have a brain first. Well, there goes THAT theory.
Posted by MirrorMan on January 12, 2012 at 8:14 AM
BrotherBob 111
Is there a way we can track the unregistered comments in the same box as the number of comments? That way I can see which entries have attracted the most trolls. Degfinitely the ones i want to read most. First I would read the ones with the most unregisterd, then the ones with the most comments, and finally, if I have time, the tame ones with only a few comments and no unregisterd.
Posted by BrotherBob on January 12, 2012 at 8:31 AM
undead ayn rand 112
@111: You assume it's like an ant farm of trolls. It's the same sexually-frustrated loser posting over and over again so he can keep reading up on all the gay sex he's not having.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 12, 2012 at 8:36 AM
undead ayn rand 113
@110: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe's_Law read, relax, become at peace.
Posted by undead ayn rand on January 12, 2012 at 8:49 AM
114
109 oh red- still claming you don't lap up every last post? tsktsktsk...

110 holes? we hope you don't find it almost impossible to point out just one.....
Posted by .......the more you talk the less you got on January 12, 2012 at 9:59 AM
MirrorMan 115
Undead Ayn Rand, I have become one with the 'Unregistered Comments Off' button. A Zen calm has washed over me, secure in the knowledge that I shall not view the postings of nitwits....
Posted by MirrorMan on January 12, 2012 at 10:19 AM
116 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
venomlash 117
@114: Allow me, mademoiselle.
In reverse chronological order, because that's what I feel like doing:
In post #106 you assert that if everyone got gay married, society would cease to exist within decades, but do not offer any evidence to suggest this. Additionally, you assume that an action is bad simply because there might be bad results if everyone did it. If everyone became a vegetarian, many companies would go out of business, but that doesn't mean it's bad to become a vegetarian.
In post #13 you falsely claim that Obama's language with regard to homosexuality is the same as Santorum's.
Is that good enough for you, bitch?
Posted by venomlash on January 12, 2012 at 10:22 AM
118
117
Well,
it is true that we are pretending,
for the sake of argument,
that such a condition as 'homosexuality' actually exists-
that is-
that there are people who are not heterosexual but who sexually innately are homosexual.

Of course, no such creature exists.

People who claim to be 'homosexual' are actually perfectly functional heterosexuals capable of normal heterosexual reproduction, as they demonstrate over and over. Just ask Danny.

But if there were homosexuals they, of course, would not have reproductive sex and the species would shortly die out.
Perhaps you'll study that when you get in high school.....

Companies going out of business is not a bad result.
It is a necessary reality in a vibrant economy.

Obama's Justice Department used the EXACT same argument and language that Santorum did.
Posted by oh no- you're so full of shit its leaking out... on January 12, 2012 at 10:38 AM
MirrorMan 119
Oh, good! It's "Play the Stupid Troll's Game" day on Slog! And here I was thinking it was going to be a boring day. Alright, Dipstick, let's all play 'False Equivalent'!

Sexually Transmitted Diseases (That's STD for you cranially challenged trolls) come from sex.
The only 100 % effective way to stop STD’s is to not have any sex at all.
Everyone should not have sex.
PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

Of course, the whole dying out as a race thing still happens, but you have cured ALL STD’s!!

Ooh, wait!

Gay people come from straight people having sex.
The only 100 % effective way to stop gay people from being born is to not have any kids at all.
Everyone should not have kids.
PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

Of course, the whole dying out as a race thing still happens, but you have cured ‘The GHEY’!!

I could go on and on, but the intelligent people in the room already have your number. Important safety tip, Troll: Ignorant, bigoted, and hateful is no way to go through life. This won’t stop you, of course, but just saying.

Oh, and your Mom wants her basement back.

Posted by MirrorMan on January 12, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Lissa 120
@116: Ah ha ha ha! Wind In Between The Ears would be more like it.

Aaaaaaaand you're banned.
Back to the howling vortex of the Unregistered for you sweet pea!
Posted by Lissa on January 12, 2012 at 11:37 AM
Mischa Vainburg 121
As a homo-loving liberal who believes the government needs to get out of our bedrooms, but has conservative (bigoted if I'm being harsh) friends and loved ones, this exchange warmed my heart. Way to go, Dan.
Posted by Mischa Vainburg http://squidbasedink.wordpress.com on January 12, 2012 at 12:52 PM
122
Conservative presidential candidate Alan Keyes once told me that I didn't love my adopted sister, not because she's gay but because we aren't blood relatives. My conservative relatives, despite all logic, say they "can't support the lifestyle" of gay people. Their position is wholly illogical and, ultimately, based on prejudice and fear. I feel sorry for them that they can't get over it. But when one of them runs for president, you are absolutely justified in calling him a piece of shit, in public, forever. Because you SHOULD be afraid to enrage a huge group of people with your bigotry, and I think the real impetus for this e-mail was a feeling that it's a privilege of straight people to define homophobia for themselves...it's not.
Posted by Yeah123 on January 12, 2012 at 2:19 PM
venomlash 123
@118: Welp, that's more than my RDA of batshit, but I'm nowhere near the LD50, so I'll proceed.
Please show me a citation proving that President Obama or the Justice Department compared homosexuality to "man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be". You know, the EXACT SAME LANGUAGE that Mr. Santorum used.
Now on to your assertion that homosexuality doesn't exist. The hole in your argument, which I shall now hatefuck with my logic-cock, is that you have no evidence. Many studies have documented significant and quantifiable physiological differences between homosexuals and heterosexuals (here are a few). The ability to reproduce does not in and of itself make homosexuals straight. I can produce large amounts of melanin if I go tanning, but that won't make me black.
More...
Posted by venomlash on January 12, 2012 at 3:22 PM
124
"Public figures often draw attention from unbalanced individuals. Hinckley, Chapman, Savage..... "

Kind of like how Dan Savage has drawn attention from you, eh 13?
Posted by Hoyt Clagwell on January 12, 2012 at 4:08 PM
125
For a second, BRF seemed to be invoking Dalhousie's Doctrine of Lapse,1848-a key instrument of acquisition of Indian princely states; which says that the adopted offspring of a royal shall not be recognized as the heir!!
Sad to see in 2011 people hung up on true blue reproduction and sexual orientation as policy yardsticks.
Posted by harish on January 12, 2012 at 4:36 PM
126
For a second, BRF seemed to be invoking Dalhousie's Doctrine of Lapse,1848-a key instrument of acquisition of Indian princely states; which says that the adopted offspring of a royal shall not be recognized as the heir!!
Sad to see in 2011 people hung up on true blue reproduction and sexual orientation as policy yardsticks.
Posted by harish on January 12, 2012 at 4:39 PM
127
124

we see what you did there you little rascal...
Posted by ...and it only took 111 posts. clever fellow! on January 12, 2012 at 5:39 PM
128
123

There is much more evidence that homosexuality does not exist than that it does.

And no, you can not dabble in another race.
Because race truly is an intrinsic innate biological trait.
Your example proves the point.

Homosexuality?
Not so much.
How many "homosexuals" have had heterosex? Ask Danny.
How many "homosexuals" marry and do a perfectly credible job functioning as heterosexuals?
Every week another celebrity outs them self as "homosexual" after a lifetime spent as heterosexual.
How many men engage in prolific homosexual behavior while in prison?
How many coeds go through a girl experimental phase?

And Biology totally calls BullShit on the "homosexual" myth.
How do homosexuals reproduce?
There is a word for non-reproducable entities; defective.
Are "homosexual" defective?
Not biologically.....

In fact,
claiming to be homosexual is a lot like claiming that god speaks to you,
the rest of humanity just smiles and nods....whatever you say....what. ever.
Posted by ....search your inner feelings, luke on January 12, 2012 at 5:58 PM
129
from Americablog-

Joe and I have been trying since last night to get a copy of the government's brief just filed in this case. This is not the GLAD case that we've written about previously, it's another in California.

We just got the brief from reader Lavi Soloway. It's pretty despicable, and gratuitously homophobic. It reads as if it were written by one of George Bush's top political appointees. I cannot state strongly enough how damaging this brief is to us. Obama didn't just argue a technicality about the case, he argued that DOMA is reasonable. That DOMA is constitutional. That DOMA wasn't motivated by any anti-gay animus. He argued why our Supreme Court victories in Romer and Lawrence shouldn't be interpreted to give us rights in any other area (which hurts us in countless other cases and battles). He argued that DOMA doesn't discriminate against us because it also discriminates about straight unmarried couples (ignoring the fact that they can get married and we can't).

He actually argued that the courts shouldn't consider Loving v. Virginia, the miscegenation case in which the Supreme Court ruled that it is unconstitutional to ban interracial marriages, when looking at gay civil rights cases. He told the court, in essence, that blacks deserve more civil rights than gays, that our civil rights are not on the same level.

And before Obama claims he didn't have a choice, he had a choice. Bush, Reagan and Clinton all filed briefs in court opposing current federal law as being unconstitutional (we'll be posting more about that later). Obama could have done the same. But instead he chose to defend DOMA, denigrate our civil rights, go back on his promises, and contradict his own statements that DOMA was "abhorrent." Folks, Obama's lawyers are even trying to diminish the impact of Romer and Lawrence, our only two big Supreme Court victories. Obama is quite literally destroying our civil rights gains with this brief. He's taking us down for his own benefit.

Holy cow. Obama invoked incest and people marrying children.
The courts have followed this principle, moreover, in relation to the validity of marriages performed in other States. Both the First and Second Restatements of Conflict of Laws recognize that State courts may refuse to give effect to a marriage, or to certain incidents of a marriage, that contravene the forum State's policy. See Restatement (First) of Conflict of Laws § 134; Restatement (Second) of Conflict of Laws § 284.5 And the courts have widely held that certain marriages performed elsewhere need not be given effect, because they conflicted with the public policy of the forum. See, e.g., Catalano v. Catalano, 170 A.2d 726, 728-29 (Conn. 1961) (marriage of uncle to niece, "though valid in Italy under its laws, was not valid in Connecticut because it contravened the public policy of th[at] state"); Wilkins v. Zelichowski, 140 A.2d 65, 67-68 (N.J. 1958) (marriage of 16-year-old female held invalid in New Jersey, regardless of validity in Indiana where performed, in light of N.J. policy reflected in statute permitting adult female to secure annulment of her underage marriage); In re Mortenson's Estate, 316 P.2d 1106 (Ariz. 1957) (marriage of first cousins held invalid in Arizona, though lawfully performed in New Mexico, given Arizona policy reflected in statute declaring such marriages "prohibited and void").
Then in the next paragraph, they argue that the incest and child rape cases therefore make DOMA constitutional:
The fact that States have long had the authority to decline to give effect to marriages performed in other States based on the forum State's public policy strongly supports the constitutionality of Congress's exercise of its authority in DOMA.

DOMA isgood because it saves the feds money
"The constitutional propriety of Congress's decision to decline to extend federal benefits immediately to newly recognized types of marriages is bolstered by Congress's articulated interest in preserving the scarce resources of both the federal and State governments. DOMA ensures that evolving understandings of the institution of marriage at the State level do not place greater financial and administrative obligations on federal and state benefits programs. Preserving scarce government resources — and deciding to extend benefits incrementally — are well-recognized legitimate interests under rational-basis review. See Butler, 144 F.3d at 625 ("There is nothing irrational about Congress's stated goal of conserving social security resources, and Congress can incrementally pursue that goal."); Hassan v. Wright, 45 F.3d 1063, 1069 (7th Cir. 1995) ("[P]rotecting the fisc provides a rational basis for Congress' line drawing in this instance."). Congress expressly relied on these interests in enacting DOMA: Government currently provides an array of material and other benefits to married couples in an effort to promote, protect, and prefer the institution of marriage. . . . If [a State] were to permit homosexuals to marry, these marital benefits would, absent some legislative response, presumably have to be made available to homosexual couples and surviving spouses of homosexual marriages on the same terms as they are now available to opposite-sex married couples and spouses. To deny federal recognition to same-sex marriages will thus preserve scarce government resources, surely a legitimate government purpose."
DOMA is constitutional (thus screwing us on any future lawsuits):
The constitutionality of Section 2 of DOMA is further confirmed by the second sentence of the Full Faith and Credit Clause, which expressly empowers Congress to prescribe "the Effect" to be accorded to the laws of a sister State. See U.S. Const. art. IV, § 1, cl. 2. Although the broad contours of this provision have not been conclusively established, the power exercised by Congress in enacting DOMA clearly conforms to any conceivable construction of the effects provision....

Under this view, Congress obviously acted within its plenary effects power in enacting Section 2 of DOMA. If the Constitution itself does not declare "the effect" of the law of "one state in another state," McElmoyle, 38 U.S. (13 Pet.) at 325, but instead leaves that "power in congress," Mills, 11 U.S. (7 Cranch) at 485, then Congress clearly had the authority in DOMA to declare that no State is "required to give effect" to the same-sex marriage laws of other States. 28 U.S.C. § 1738C.
"DOMA Is Consistent with Equal Protection and Due Process Principles." This is important because it means that Obama wasn't content to simply argue, based on technicalities, that this case should be thrown out. He went out of his way to argue that DOMA is actually constitutional, and then went into detail destroying every single constitutional argument we have for opposing DOMA in court. This will screw us on every lawsuit we file on every gay issue, in every public policy debate we have in the states on any gay issue.
DOMA Is Consistent with Equal Protection and Due Process Principles Plaintiffs further allege that DOMA violates their rights under the Due Process Clause of the Fifth Amendment, including its equal protection component. DOMA, however, merely preserves for each State the authority to follow its own law and policy with respect to same-sex marriage for purposes of State law. And it maintains the status quo of federal policy, preserving a longstanding federal policy of promoting traditional marriages, by clarifying that the terms "marriage" and "spouse," for purposes of federal law, refer to marriage between a man and a woman, and do not encompass relationships of any other kind within their ambit. Thus, because DOMA does not make a suspect classification or implicate a right that has been recognized as fundamental, it is necessarily subject to rational-basis scrutiny, see National Ass'n for Advancement of Psychoanalysis v. California Bd. of Psychology, 228 F.3d 1043, 1049 (9th Cir. 2000), which it satisfies.
Gays have no constitutional right to marriage, or recognition of their marriages by other states:
Plaintiffs are married, and their challenge to the federal Defense of Marriage Act ("DOMA") poses a different set of questions: whether by virtue of their marital status they are constitutionally entitled to acknowledgment of their union by States that do not recognize same-sex marriage, and whether they are similarly entitled to certain federal benefits. Under the law binding on this Court, the answer to these questions must be no.
Praises DOMA as "cautiously limited"
DOMA reflects a cautiously limited response to society's still-evolving understanding of the institution of marriage.
Sounds to me like Obama just came out against the Loving v. VA case that ensured that people like his parents could marry
On the merits, plaintiffs' claims that DOMA violates the Full Faith and Credit Clause and their "right to travel" both fail as a matter of law. In allowing each State to withhold its recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions, Congress was merely confirming longstanding conflict-of-laws principles in a valid exercise of its express power to settle such questions under the Full Faith and Credit Clause. That Clause ensures that each State retains the authority to decline to apply another State's law when it conflicts with its own public policies. DOMA is fully consistent with that constitutional principle, as it permits States to experiment with and maintain the exclusivity of their own legitimate public policies — such as whether that State chooses to recognize or reject same-sex marriages.
Gays don't deserve same scrutiny in court that other minorities get
Because DOMA does not restrict any rights that have been recognized as fundamental or rely on any suspect classifications, it need not be reviewed with heightened scrutiny. Properly understood, the right at issue in this case is not a right to marry. After all, the federal government does not, either through DOMA or any other federal statute, issue marriage licenses or determine the standards for who may or may not get married. Indeed, as noted above — and as evidenced by the fact that plaintiffs have married in California — DOMA in no way prohibits same-sex couples from marrying. Instead, the only right at issue in this case is a right to receive certain benefits on the basis of a same-sex marriage. No court has ever found such a right to federal benefits on that basis to be fundamental — in fact, all of the courts that have considered the question have rejected such a claim. (And even if the right at issue in this case were the right to same-sex marriage, current Supreme Court precedent that binds this Court does not recognize such a right under the Constitution.) Likewise, DOMA does not discriminate, or permit the States to discriminate, on the basis of a suspect classification; indeed, the Ninth Circuit has held that sexual orientation is not a suspect classification.
Argues Republican position on how judges should review cases
DOMA therefore must be analyzed under rational-basis review. Under the highly deferential rational basis standard, moreover, a court may not act as superlegislature, sitting in judgment on the wisdom or morality of a legislative policy. Instead, a legislative policy must be upheld so long as there is any reasonably conceivable set of facts that could provide a rational basis for it, including ones that the Congress itself did not advance or consider. DOMA satisfies this standard.
The twisted logic of this paragraph is sickening. Pat Robertson could have written this:
Likewise, Section 3 of DOMA merely clarifies that federal policy is to make certain benefits available only to those persons united in heterosexual marriage, as opposed to any other possible relationship defined by law, family, or affection. As a result, gay and lesbian individuals who unite in matrimony are denied no federal benefits to which they were entitled prior to their marriage; they remain eligible for every benefit they enjoyed beforehand. DOMA simply provides, in effect, that as a result of their same-sex marriage they will not become eligible for the set of benefits that Congress has reserved exclusively to those who are related by the bonds of heterosexual marriage. In short, then, the failure in this manner to recognize a certain subset of marriages that are recognized by a certain subset of States cannot be taken as an infringement on plaintiffs' rights, even if same-sex marriage were accepted as a fundamental right under the Constitution.
DOMA is a good thing:
It adopts on the national level, and permits on the state level, a wait-and-see approach to new forms of marriage. DOMA thus maximizes democratic flexibility under our federalist scheme, by simply preventing some States from requiring other States and the federal government to grant benefits to forms of marriages that, under their own constitutions, state or federal governments are not obligated to recognize. Because it is rationally related to legitimate governmental interests, plaintiffs cannot overcome the "presumption of constitutionality" that DOMA, like all federal statutes, enjoys.
DOMA is rational and constitutional:
Its cautious decision simply to maintain the federal status quo while preserving the ability of States to experiment with new definitions of marriage is entirely rational. Congress may subsequently decide to extend federal benefits to same-sex marriages, but its decision to reserve judgment on the question does not render any differences in the availability of federal benefits irrational or unconstitutional.
Provides legal argument against gays' right to privacy:
Second, the right to privacy encompasses only rights that are constitutionally fundamental, and, as noted earlier, the right to receive benefits on the basis of same-sex marriage (as well as same-sex marriage itself) has not been recognized by the courts as a fundamental right.
It's reasonable and rational for Congress to defend "traditional" marriage - in fact, DOMA was actual a very "neutral" law, rather than anti-gay:
Section 3 of DOMA reflects just such an approach: it maximizes democratic flexibility and self-governance under our federalist system, by adopting a policy of federal neutrality with respect to a matter that is primarily the concern of state government. Because all 50 States recognize heterosexual marriage, it was reasonable and rational for Congress to maintain its longstanding policy of fostering this traditional and universally-recognized form of marriage. At the same time, because Congress recognized both the freedom of States to expand the traditional definition, and the freedom of other States to decline to recognize this newer form of marriage, a policy of neutrality dictated that Congress not extend federal benefits to new forms of marriage recognized by some States.
Again, Obama seems to states have the right to ban blacks from marrying whites:
[T]he public policy doctrine, which has long recognized the sovereign authority of the States to decline to give effect to the laws of a sister State at variance with their own legitimate public policy. Section 2 of DOMA merely confirms the specific applicability of that longstanding principle in the context of laws regarding same-sex marriage.
DOMA is entirely rational
Congress makes a wide array of federal financial and other benefits available to men and women united in marriage — to the exclusion of all other human relationships (save for that of parent and minor child), not just same-sex marriage. In enacting DOMA, Congress (1) recognized the right of some States to expand the traditional understanding of marriage while, at the same time, it (2) protected the rights of other States to adhere to their traditional understandings of the institution, and (3) maintained the longstanding federal policy of affording benefits to the traditional, and universally recognized, version of marriage. This measured response to society's evolving understandings of marriage is entirely rational. Indeed, under rational basis scrutiny, Congress is entitled to respond to new social phenomena one step at a time, and to adjust national policy incrementally. DOMA reflects just such a response.
DOMA wasn't motivated by a dislike of gays, silly.
Under our federalist system, preserving the autonomy of state and federal governments to address evolving definitions of an age-old societal institution is itself a legitimate governmental interest. Moreover, because DOMA protected "the ability of elected officials to decide matters related to homosexuality," including their right to recognize same-sex marriage, it plainly was not born solely as a result of animosity towards homosexuals.
Please don't confuse the gays with the blacks, and other "real" marriages:
Finally, regardless of whether same-sex marriage is appropriate policy, under current legal precedent there is no constitutional right to it, and that precedent is binding on these parties and this Court. While the Supreme Court has held that the right to marry is "fundamental," Zablocki v. Redhail, 434 U.S. 374, 383-87, 98 S. Ct. 673, 54 L.Ed.2d 618 (1978), that right has not been held to
encompass the right to marry someone of the same sex. To the contrary, in Baker v. Nelson, the Supreme Court dismissed a claim that the Constitution provides a right to same-sex marriage for lack of a "substantial federal question." 409 U.S. 810, 93 S. Ct. 37, 34 L.Ed.2d 65 (1972) (Mem). In Baker, the Minnesota Supreme Court had rejected the contention that a State statute limiting marriage to one man and one woman violated federal due process and equal protection principles. The court found no "fundamental right" to same-sex marriage, 191 N.W.2d at 186-87, and concluded that the traditional definition of marriage effects no "invidious discrimination," and that the definition easily withstood rational-basis review. Id. at 187.
DOMA infringes on nobody's rights
In short, therefore, DOMA, understood for what it actually does, infringes on no one's rights, and in all events it infringes on no right that has been constitutionally protected as fundamental, so as to invite heightened scrutiny.
DOMA doesn't discriminate against gays - all they have to do to get the benefits is get married... to someone of the opposite sex! (This is an argument Obama stole verbatim from the religious right.)
Plaintiffs also maintain that DOMA discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, in violation of their right to the equal protection of the law, see Complaint, ¶ 20, but DOMA is not subject to heightened scrutiny on that basis. As an initial matter, plaintiffs misperceive the nature of the line that Congress has drawn. DOMA does not discriminate against homosexuals in the provision of federal benefits. To the contrary, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is prohibited in federal employment and in a wide array of federal benefits programs by law, regulation, and Executive order.... Section 3 of DOMA does not distinguish among persons of different sexual orientations, but rather it limits federal benefits to those who have entered into the traditional form of marriage.
Please don't compare gay marriages to inter-racial marriages
Loving v. Virginia is not to the contrary. There the Supreme Court rejected a contention that the assertedly "equal application" of a statute prohibiting interracial marriage immunized the statute from strict scrutiny. 388 U.S. 1, 8, 87 S.Ct. 1817, 18 L.Ed.2d 1010 (1967). The Court had little difficulty concluding that the statute, which applied only to "interracial marriages involving white persons," was "designed to maintain White Supremacy" and therefore unconstitutional. Id. at 11. No comparable purpose is present here, however, for DOMA does not seek in any way to advance the "supremacy" of men over women, or of women over men. Thus DOMA cannot be "traced to a . . . purpose" to discriminate against either men or women. Personnel Adm'r v. Feeney, 442 U.S. 256, 272, 99 S. Ct. 2282, 60 L.Ed.2d 870 (1979). In upholding the traditional definition of marriage, numerous courts have expressly rejected an alleged analogy to Loving.
DOMA is downright reasonable
In light of society's still evolving understanding of marriage, the statute adopted what amounted to a cautious policy of federal neutrality towards a new form of marriage. DOMA maintains federal policies that have long sought to promote the traditional and uniformly-recognized form of marriage, recognizes the right of each State to expand the traditional definition if it so chooses, but declines to obligate federal taxpayers in other States to subsidize a form of marriage their own States do not recognize. This policy of neutrality maximizes state autonomy and democratic self-governance in an area of traditional state concern, and preserves scarce government resources. It is thus entirely rational.
DOMA is reasonable and rational
Section 3 of DOMA reflects just such an approach: it maximizes democratic flexibility and self-governance under our federalist system, by adopting a policy of federal neutrality with respect to a matter that is primarily the concern of state government. Because all 50 States recognize heterosexual marriage, it was reasonable and rational for Congress to maintain its longstanding policy of fostering this traditional and universally-recognized form of marriage. At the same time, because Congress recognized both the freedom of States to expand the traditional definition, and the freedom of other States to decline to recognize this newer form of marriage, a policy of neutrality dictated that Congress not extend federal benefits to new forms of marriage recognized by some States. Given the strength of competing convictions on this still-evolving issue, Congress could reasonably decide that federal benefits funded by taxpayers throughout the nation should not be used to foster a form of marriage that only some States recognize, and that other States do not.
We wouldn't want the gays taking all of our money
DOMA ensures that evolving understandings of the institution of marriage at the State level do not place greater financial and administrative obligations on federal and state benefits programs. Preserving scarce government resources — and deciding to extend benefits incrementally — are well-recognized legitimate interests under rational-basis review.
Obama was doing us a favor
On plaintiffs' view, even though Congress was under no independent constitutional obligation to recognize same-sex marriage before any State did so, once a single State legalized same-sex marriage, equal protection principles mandated that Congress extend federal benefits to such marriages, or withdraw them from all marriages. No constitutional principle, however, mandates such a result, which is fundamentally at odds with our federalist scheme of divided sovereignty, and which could be a substantial disincentive for States to recognize new rights and privileges as circumstances evolve.

More Posts About: Gay, Gay Marriage
More...
Posted by what shall we call our Homophobic Brown President, girls? on January 12, 2012 at 6:22 PM
venomlash 130
@128: If there's all this evidence that homosexuality doesn't exist, why don't you show us some of it? You're all talk at this point.
Homosexuals tend to be the children of heterosexuals, since homosexuality is not a fully penetrant and dominant genetic trait, and is likely not determined solely by genetics at all. Sterile people don't reproduce either, and yet there are sterile people in every generation...
Your argument that nobody is truly gay because gay people sometimes have straight sex rings entirely hollow. Left-handed people have, under pressure from society, taken to using their right hands; are you saying that southpaws don't exist?
@129: Uh-uh. That's someone else saying that Obama used the same language as Rick Santorum. You tell me where Obama himself said it.

Alleged, allow me to sum up your arguments with one of your own terms.
You
got
nuthin....
Posted by venomlash on January 12, 2012 at 8:49 PM
131 Comment Pulled (Trolling) Comment Policy
132
John Aravosis and Joe Sudbay obviously know NOTHING about it....
You should lend them some of your brilliance, Junior.
Posted by ooops, the shit is leaking out your ears again on January 12, 2012 at 10:47 PM
133
131
you must be kidding.
someone has a serious problem with the truth......
Posted by ....we feel sorry for you on January 13, 2012 at 12:18 AM
134
I am just completely shocked at this BRF.
I don't believe that this person has a gay family as s/he claims. There's just no way.
If it is the truth, this person has been seriously brainwashed or has some sort of medical mental disorder. There's just no way s/he could think what s/he thinks without one of the two being the case.
Mr. Dan Savage, don't bother to reply to him/her.
Posted by TheLuciferPerson on January 13, 2012 at 1:02 AM
135
131

Danny is tolerant of pretty much anything except The Truth.......
Posted by It Burnses! The Nasty Truth...It Burnses Us!..... on January 13, 2012 at 5:10 AM
136
131

Breaking news: HomoLiberals are sniveling cowards unwilling to engage in actual debate.
Posted by Poi Pot on January 13, 2012 at 5:34 AM
137
..it's because they're all a bunch of punk ass unclefucking hypocrites
Posted by reverend dr dj ríz on January 13, 2012 at 5:35 AM
138
131

I wish I could post a picture of Job Bluth's chicken dance here.
Posted by Po! Pot on January 13, 2012 at 5:37 AM
139
Pol Pot, if I could, I'd post a picture of Lucille Bluth doing the chicken dance.

But I think you're all being dreadfully unfair to Danny. He has a tough life. I'm sure his busy social calendar precludes posting on his own blog where he might have to defend his faith. After all, It's easier to preach to the choir. And even better when the choir is a bunch of credulous not-too-bright fanboys.
Posted by Catalína Vel-DuRay on January 13, 2012 at 5:40 AM
140
Maybe Danny somehow suddenly realized how thoroughly indefensible his position is... or at least how badly that position would be made to look if examined under scrutiny. Perhaps he didn't want to be on Slog saying things that are demonstrably untrue....
Posted by pheeew!crack!boom! on January 13, 2012 at 5:42 AM
141
Cum on Danny- Don't be lame and delete.
Posted by the idiot currently known as kk on January 13, 2012 at 5:44 AM
142
131
No big surprise that all those girly-man homo preechurs would turn out to nothing more than a big buncha pussies.
Posted by TLir on January 13, 2012 at 5:45 AM
143
Why not go on -- without the coward?

Spread the good word, and read the list of him who has no defense for his slanders.
Posted by judybrowní on January 13, 2012 at 5:46 AM
144
131

Deleters are chicken pussies.

bok bok bok bok, meow meow meow meow.
Posted by freeesandbags on January 13, 2012 at 6:11 AM
145
The homoliberals will not engage in a serious conversation about this. They will make an attempt to proselytize, but as soon as you present a rebuttal of any sort, they dismiss you as a "homophobic bigot hater" and leave you to Satan or whatever. This is what their world view does to them.
Posted by Meát Weapon on January 13, 2012 at 6:13 AM
146
Hold the debate anyway. Have The Troll speak for the con side since he's heard all of their arguements already. Or he can just read their comments aloud. Gawd works in myserious ways.
Posted by Zánder on January 13, 2012 at 6:14 AM
147
So Danny is a coward, too? Color me shocked.
Posted by mortex on January 13, 2012 at 6:44 AM
148
goo goo gah gah......
Posted by venomlast on January 13, 2012 at 6:46 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 149
Man, getting banned sure gets The Troll stirred up. Thank God I have unregistered comments off.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on January 13, 2012 at 7:00 AM
MirrorMan 150
Y'know, Anonytroll is so prolific, it's like it doesn't have anything else to do!
Good thing it's so 'SMART', or else it might not have anything to say, and would have to copy and alter posts from another Slog entry so it could keep posting drivel.

I hope it never comes to that, as it would just prove that Anonytroll...gots...nuthin'.
Posted by MirrorMan on January 13, 2012 at 7:07 AM
venomlash 151
@150: Does anyone even know what he posted that got deleted? I'm curious as to whether he actually came up with some evidence, or if he was just bloviating again.
Posted by venomlash on January 13, 2012 at 8:24 AM
Fifty-Two-Eighty 152
I'm sure it's all still here in my RSS feed if you really care, VL. But as I remember it, it was pure bloviation.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on January 13, 2012 at 8:45 AM
153
152
your memory isn't so sharp, pops.....
Posted by blame the booze on January 13, 2012 at 10:07 AM
154
I like how at the end, his response to your extremely well-thought-out argument was "well, i'm not going to rebut, but i respect your opinion even though i still disagree." I'm sorry, all opinions are not equal. Opinions based on irrational personal beliefs or knee-jerk reactions, as this man's seemed to be, are inferior to those that can be backed up by logic and facts. They should not be "respected." Not that we should control people's opinions or anything like that- I'm just sick of ignorant people hiding behind "respecting different opinions" so that they aren't obligated to adjust their views to fit REALITY.
Posted by Shula on January 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM
155
If children in traditional nuclear families do better in society as BRF says, is it possible that this may be due to these children being less susceptible to backlash and subjugation from the ignorant and bigoted Neanderthals in society? Sorry BRF, look in the mirror for what ails society. And please choose to follow the noble path. Don't try to stem the tide of evolution by continuing to hire the same Neanderthal leader simply because he walks like you, talks like you, smells like you... 
Posted by HeteroForEquality on January 13, 2012 at 6:28 PM
santamonicatom 156
I thought Dan was way too nice to the writer with the assholish personality.
Posted by santamonicatom on January 14, 2012 at 1:57 PM
157
If marriage really were about procreation as this reader contends, then both church and state would have required that would-be couples take fertility tests before being married long ago. The fact that they haven't is a testament to the truth that nobody gives a shit whether straight couples procreate or not. This reader knows that and he's being disingenuous by pretending otherwise. Call him out on it already!
Posted by tniel on January 14, 2012 at 4:12 PM
158
ummm....what about those heteros that give up children for adoption? what should be done about them?
Posted by lumbles on January 15, 2012 at 7:25 AM
159
152

we dare you to post it up.

asswipe.
Posted by you'll have to pull your head out of Danny's ass first.... on January 15, 2012 at 2:24 PM
160
All of these years of "fetal fetish" has resulted in this weird wave of children having children. I can't count the number of times I've encountered some young-ish wag hetero male dipshit who not only already has a child with some previous female partner he no longer feels any obligation to support but has had a child with his current mate with another on the way that he can barely support. I asked one of the female partners why they were having a child and she said "Well, we don't have one that's ours." Well, fuck, get a goddamn cat and called it Dakota!
The point is, there should be some sort of aptitude test for any hetero that is considering having children. I know its one thing to use abortion as birth control, but to use no control or judgement at all just doesn't a viable option. And yet that's what 30 years of abstinence-only education has left us with.
Posted by lumbles on January 15, 2012 at 3:28 PM
161
160

from WebMD:

Teen Birth Rate Is Declining

CDC Report Shows Birth Rate for Teenagers Is Going Down in All Racial and Ethnic Groups
By Bill Hendrick

WebMD Health News Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD

Feb. 2, 2011 -- The teenage birth rate declined to the lowest level ever recorded in the past 70 years, the CDC says in a new report.....
Posted by STFU. love, Dakota...... on January 15, 2012 at 4:19 PM
venomlash 162
@161: In spite of the fags fagging it up, we seem to be moving away from Gommorah, eh brah?
Posted by venomlash on January 16, 2012 at 3:06 AM
163
162

marriage is what we are moving away from.

here is tonite's homework:

compare marriage rates in America (what percentage of the adult population is married) starting with the 50s up to the present.

then sumarize the research showing how children raised in a stable marriage fare compared to other modes of rearing.

google and report back.....
Posted by ...neither marry nor are given in marriage on January 16, 2012 at 4:12 AM
164
It seems as though the idea that marriage is, always has been, and always should be, a CHRISTIAN institution is lost on "DAN". The Holy Bible speaks out against sexual immorality in several books and verses. The apostle Paul even directly mentioned it to the parishioners at Corinth (check the book of CORINTHIANS). Jesus himself even denounced sexual immorality. GOD destroyed the cities of Sodom (the name of the city where we derive the term SODOMY, which is ANAL SEX in any form or fashion, wanted or unwanted) and Gomorrah for being sexually immoral. When God send his angels to Lot and his family in Sodom, the homosexual men of the city attempted to rape the angels, and they paid the price with their lives and their souls. The fact is that homosexuality is wrong and immoral, and to disgustingly bash someone who speaks out in His name against what Christ has denounced is wrong and immoral. Rick Santorum is, from all accounts, a good Christian man. Rather than demonizing him for speaking out for what is right, homosexuals should be repenting for their sins, finding Christ, and beginning their own Christian life. Otherwise, read the book of Revelation long and hard, because God will not deal lightly with sinners and unbelievers.
Posted by JRL on January 16, 2012 at 1:44 PM
venomlash 165
@164: Not sure if trolling, or just extremely dense.
Deuteronomy 5:8-9
Matthew 6:5-7, 14-15
I am not so arrogant as to claim that I am an expert scholar of my holy Book, and certainly not of yours, but you might want to read those passages.
As for Sodom and Gomorrah, they were overthrown not for sexual immorality but for mistreating the stranger and the traveler. They demanded that the angels disguised as travelers be handed over to them for their own pleasure, but Lot stood his ground and told them that he would sooner give up his own daughters to the mob than to abandon sojourners who had come under the protection of his roof.
After the destruction of those cities and the narrow escape of Lot's household, Lot's daughters committed incest with their own father, an act that is not only strongly condemned in the Pentateuch but truly does go against nature. (Many animals commonly display homosexual behavior, but incest is unheard of in virtually every species for genetic reasons.)
If Sodom and Gomorrah were turned to ash and smoke for sexual immorality, Lot's household being saved for Lot's righteousness, why were Lot's daughters not destroyed as well?
This Jew is well and truly sick of Christians attempting to force your religion on us when you scarcely know your own texts. Read up a little, especially concerning God's One-ness and the bits about idolatry, and then we can have a civilized discussion.
Posted by venomlash on January 16, 2012 at 2:28 PM
166
Having run out of arguments, having been informed that his "data" was irrelevant to the question, having had his illogic and inconsistency politely illustrated, he finally reverted to "no one's going to change their minds here."

Because argument, data, logic and consistency had nothing - nothing whatsoever - to do with his position.
Posted by Timothy Kincaid on January 16, 2012 at 2:58 PM
167
Having run out of arguments, having been informed that his "data" was irrelevant to the question, having had his illogic and inconsistency politely illustrated, he finally reverted to "no one's going to change their minds here."

Because argument, data, logic and consistency had nothing - nothing whatsoever - to do with his position.
Posted by Timothy Kincaid on January 16, 2012 at 3:02 PM
168
I took an anthropology course in my last year of high school. It was structured to give us a taste of what a university course would be like.

One of the first things the teacher asked for was an international definition of marriage. We couldn’t give him one. For every point we came up with, he could give us an example of a society that does it differently.

So Rick Santorum’s statements

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. “

It would have to be adjusted to

"MOST societies in the RECENT history of TODAYS larger RELIGIONS have upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. “

It’s really a religious definition (my guess would be that he means his own religion). I’m pretty sure that the constitution would not allow the state to dictate religious doctrine to the people.

I don’t think any of it matters though. While time, money, and energy is spent on these sorts of questions, the next generation is watching their planet, country, and future blow up in a chorus of “NO” from congress.
When it’s their turn, I don’t think they’ll be asking this generation why they didn’t do something about the definition of marriage, they’ll want to know why you wasted all the resources, destroyed so much and caved in to dictatorial financial empires.

Note: Ironically, it was a Catholic high school.

Posted by EyeOf on January 16, 2012 at 7:07 PM
169
I took an anthropology course in my last year of high school. It was structured to give us a taste of what a university course would be like.

One of the first things the teacher asked for was an international definition of marriage. We couldn’t give him one. For every point we came up with, he could give us an example of a society that does it differently.

So Rick Santorum’s statements

"Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. “

It would have to be adjusted to

"MOST societies in the RECENT history of TODAYS larger RELIGIONS have upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. “

It’s really a religious definition (my guess would be that he means his own religion). I’m pretty sure that the constitution would not allow the state to dictate religious doctrine to the people.

I don’t think any of it matters though. While time, money, and energy is spent on these sorts of questions, the next generation is watching their planet, country, and future blow up in a chorus of “NO” from congress.
When it’s their turn, I don’t think they’ll be asking this generation why they didn’t do something about the definition of marriage, they’ll want to know why you wasted all the resources, destroyed so much and caved in to dictatorial financial empires.

Note: Ironically, it was a Catholic high school.

Posted by EyeOf on January 16, 2012 at 7:18 PM
170
The most powerful response to Santorum's remarks is that, yes, pedophiles and those practicing bestiality should be permitted to marry. Even inmates on death row are permitted to marry. Does Santorum propose that anyone ever convicted of a sexual crime should forever be prohibited from marrying? That sounds like Big Government intruding in our everyday lives forever. By mocking his name, this campaign legitimizes his views as being specifically "anti-gay", but in fact they require the government to restrict all but the most maintream, plain-vanilla sexual behavior, regardless of sexual orientation.
Posted by anonymous commenter on January 17, 2012 at 9:38 PM
171
This doesn't negate the vile thing that Dan Savage did.
He purposely and prominently defiled the name Santorum. LOTS of people have that name -- not just Senator Rick. Rick Santorum didn't deserve such an attack; and certainly the other Santorums did not.

BRF was right in his original post. Dan Savage is a vile human being. The Stranger should distance itself from him.
Posted by lint4 on January 18, 2012 at 5:17 AM
venomlash 172
@171: are you the new Raindrop?
Posted by venomlash on January 18, 2012 at 12:35 PM
MirrorMan 173
lint4, did you back the wrong horse!

"The vile thing that Dan Savage did?"

I guess Santorum is completely free of any responsibility in this, even though he purposefully, and repeatedly, AND TO THIS DAY!!!!, insulted, accused, condemned and slandered a whole demographic of Americans.

But Dan's a bad man because he did something you don't like.

What happened? Were you shopping at the Dollar Clue Store and only have $0.57?
Posted by MirrorMan on January 18, 2012 at 10:52 PM
174
The more I'm exposed to the "right" in the US, the more I'm convinced that it (perhaps "we", by some definitions) need a revolution. What is conservative about the government managing private relations? What is conservative for enacting laws regulating private conduct- from consenting adult relationships to the use of drugs not in accordance with the western-European tradition of alcohol, tobacco, and coffee?

I want fiscally responsible government, especially the federal government, but I just can't bring myself to vote for a conservative politician when it means I'm sacrificing someone's liberty, and the constitution, for what ends up being dollars and cents. The later is signifigant, but not more signifigant than the disgusting social policy of some of the American right.

I'm convinced the conservatives need to change or loose the younger less-prejudiced crowd. I, for one, will continue to vote libertarian when the Democrat is awful. I refuse to play the pre-arranged "lesser of two evils" game that allows candidates to fight pitched battles on symbolic but largely minor issues while ignoring popular opinion on the budget, government spying, corporate bailouts, and the like. The only way the two parties get away with that crap is because they're both guilty and thus don't fight on that turf.

Whatever happened to live and let live? Whatever happened to conservative meaning LESS government intervention in people's affairs? Bleh

-a 'conservative' for freedom
Posted by Conservative for Freedom on January 19, 2012 at 7:16 AM

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