I was so, so, so looking forward to seeing Looking for a Missing Employee at On the Boards tonight. (It's a research-based monologue by a Lebanese storyteller who has been compared to the Wooster Group and recently won the Spalding Gray Award. You can read more about it here.)

But it's been cancelled due to ice and snow and other issues that are inconsequential to us America-wreckers who "live in high-rise apartment buildings writing for fancy newspapers in the middle of town"* and can walk/sled to grocery stores, theaters, work, bars, clubs, parks, hospitals, nonprofits where we volunteer our time, and pretty much everything else us America-wreckers need to get to without firing up an internal-combustion engine.

Anyway. OtB is putting up a Saturday matinee for those who had tickets for tonight.

*Oh, Newt Gingrich. I feel so badly for you. You were such a powerhouse during the Clinton administration—a mighty figurehead for the conservatives of America, with your Contract with America and whatnot. Now you seem like such a pitiful clown! Watching your campaign has felt like the evening in high school when I snuck into our small hometown bar and saw my vicious, vindictive algebra teacher sitting alone in a corner, sad and wasted. The mask of authority slipped right off his face, never to return.